After waking up, after feeling that huge relief and after asking her father if she could be called Miwa once again by her family Karai snuck out that night to think. She sat there on the edge of a billboard dangling her feet of the ledge as she thought about the past day. She had seen the lights in her father's eyes when she asked if she could return to her birth name, he had been so happy. She figured that it must have been the first time since before the fire that her father had truly felt that he had her, and after everything she's done she figured she owes him that much. But after coming back from the brink of death her mind began to work properly again, she was back in the real world and not asleep talking to the products of dreams and nightmares. She was starting to wonder if she made the right decision, she never thought that she could truly be Miwa and thought that no matter what she did she would always be Karai. But at the same time she now realized that in the end it's just a name and she was born to Splinter, Shredder's daughter Karai never truly existed; it was like she had just been Miwa playing a part. She groaned trying to explain this relatively simple concept to herself; she was so confused that it wasn't funny.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of someone landing behind her on the other end of the billboard's support beam. She turned her head and had to admit that she was surprised by who she saw.

"I thought Leo would come looking for me before you did" she said trying to be sarcastic but it seemed to fall flat. However Raph still smirked as he walked a little closer and stood over her

"He tried but Splinter wouldn't let him, he wanted to give you some time" he responded taking a seat next to her.

"So where do they think you are?" She asked amused wondering why Raph would come looking for her in the first place never mind against Splinter's orders.

The turtle in the red bandana chuckled "they know I'm here. Leo tried coming after you five minutes after you left, I don't know if you realized it or not but you've been gone for almost an hour. I waited until Leo got in the shower then told Splinter I was just going out to make sure you hadn't dropped dead" he said causing his sister to laugh just a little bit.

"Why did you wait until Leo was in the shower?" She asked but Raph only shrugged

"Didn't want him fallowing me" he answered. It became silent for a moment, both teenagers doing nothing but looking down at their feet and then just when Raph was about to say something Karai, or Miwa as she had asked them to call her, spoke up.

"Have you ever been to the edge of death Raph?" She asked looking him in the eye, she was serious. Raph blinked for a second trying to think

"Not as close as you were" he said with just a hint of a laughter in his voice trying to bring the conversation back to jokes. Jokes were fun, jokes were safe. He didn't know how to apologize for the way he used to treat her but if they were laughing and having fun he could try and she would take it seriously but not seriously enough to think too much about it. However if the conversation was already serious, she would know that it was why he came up here and why he could only apologize if it were just the two of them, if he could even do it then.

But she didn't laugh; she just turned back to the skyline in front of them as if she were thinking on how to say something.

"It's a lot like sleeping. You're dreaming but at some point the time comes for you to choose if you're going to give up or hold on and if you hold on, your dream tries to break you." She explained, her voice becoming darker as she went on. But Raph sat there listening intently.

"It forces you to relieve every mistake you've ever made, you literally come face to face with the absolute darkest part of you and you start to think that you will never be forgiven for your mistakes." She continued to explain as Raph began to get nervous about where this was going but he pushed the thought away, he knew he was just being paranoid.

"It's like you have to prove that your heart is stronger than your mind" She said but then stopped, trying to think of how to say what she wanted to.

"I know you and I don't have the best relationship and you're going to laugh but no matter how bad the nightmare was I held on because even though I knew that father and the rest of the guys would miss me if I died, and believe me I probably could've held on with just that thought. But when I thought of you I wasn't sure if you'd care-" she started to admit but Raph cut her off.

"Alright I'm going stop you right there. Look like you said we don't have the best relationship, I'm aware of that. But we're still family and well I'm sorry for being so hard on you at first, I can't even imagine how hard it must be to go through what you have" he apologized causing Miwa to smile.

"Thanks" she said grateful to hear that from him. Sure she had believed he cared, she had realized that if it had been him who were poisoned she would've been distraught had he died, she hoped that maybe he felt the same way about her. And he did.

After another long silence Raph stood up "I'm going home, you coming?" He asked as Miwa got to her feet

"Yup" she answered fallowing him; right now there was no place she'd rather be.