A/N: Love reading all your comments it really makes my day and encourages me to keep up this fanfic, I'm getting a lot more ideas for it and can't wait to share them with y'all! R&R Please!
"I never want to leave." I whispered into the crook of Remus' neck, as I sit on his lap, fully dressed now.
He squeezes me tighter. "We'll be together again soon."
There are so many thoughts racing through my mind; I want to find his word comforting, I really do, and I don't want to bring up anything that would ruin the mood, but there are inevitable questions that have to be asked. "Remus." I begin.
"Hmm?" he responds, placing comforting kisses on my forehead.
I take a deep breath and just release what I need to say before I change my mind. "There's going to be a war soon. We both know it. We're on two separate sides. What are we going to do?"
He paused the strokes he was previously running along my leg. "You're siding with the dark lord?" he asked patiently.
"Well naturally that's the side my family is on. I don't care for any particular side. But I have a son to think about now." I answer a bit defensively.
"And you think it's in his best interest to grow up in a superior pureblood society?" he presses.
I lift my head to be able to look at him face to face. I'm pretty offended now. "I think it's in his best interest not to have enemies such as the dark lord against him." I remark stiffly.
"I don't think he should have to grow up with those ideals. He'll start to think them true." Remus replied attempting to keep an argument-type tone out of his voice. But I sure as hell wasn't. I was mad by now.
"I think his safety is a little more important than what politics he's going to belive in at the moment Remus."
"I'm in no way implying that it isn't Roxanna!" he was offended this time. "I'm merely expressing that their is no guarantee that choosing that side assures his safety. You know what they are capable of, even to their own kind."
"My family-" I began about to start the argument that Demetrius wasn't just anybody, that we were high in the ranks but he interrupted me.
"Even your family has been out of the dark lord's favor, Roxanna." he said simply.
I roll my eyes, why'd Lucius have to be such a klutz damn it. "Well we don't even have to choose a side." I say as the idea hits me, I take Remus' face in my hands. "We can leave." I smile.
"Leave?" he repeats questioningly.
"Yes. We can go. Leave it, leave this all behind. We can go to France, just you and me and our son. It be so perfect." I explain.
For the fraction of a second I see a sort of smile flicker on his lips but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. He shakes his head. "I can't do that."
My hands drop from his face. I feel my heart sink and a frown etch my features. "Why not? Don't you want to be with us?"
"Of course I do." he begins caressing the side of my face, "I just can't leave right now. There's too much to do. Harry needs me. I can't abandon everyone."
I push his hand off of my face and get up from his lap. "And what about abandoning me? That was okay, was it? And what about your son? Don't you think he needs you too? Is it really crazy to think that your son needs his father?" I feel tears sliding down my face, I don't bother wiping them.
He stares at me dumbfounded for a few seconds before he gets up too. He takes a deep breath. "Roxanna you have to understand-"
"Understand what? That you're choosing a war over me, never mind me- you've left me before- but over your own child Remus, honestly, and you want me to understand!"
"I want to fight this war for him! So he doesn't have to end up living in a world of corruption!" he retorts, his voice raising, though, only a bit.
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare say its for him. It's not him you're worried about. You know as well as I do that he wouldn't suffer in either world. He's my son, he'd be part of the elite, should the dark lord win. You haven't even met him and you expect me to belive that this is all for his well being. His real well being would be with you around, with you with him, with us." I yell, tears still active.
"And what if they find out he's my son Roxanna. He won't be so elite then, the son of a half breed."
"You're making excuses." I reply looking at the ground. Maybe what he's saying makes a little bit of sense but that just an underline thing we'd have to figure out. Anything should be worth figuring out if it meant being together.
"When this is over-" he began after a few moments but I cut him off.
"That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that when this is over, you might be too. What if something happens to you Remus. You're already pushing yourself far more than you should be." I try to explain my worries to him.
"I'm just tired. I'm old Roxanna, I just need rest, I'm fine."
I ignore him. "Remus I love you." I tell him starring him in the eyes with my tearstained face. "Please, come with me and Demetrius. We can leave here tonight. We wouldn't have to tell anyone. Please be with me."
He approaches me, he lifts my chin so that I meet his gaze. He told the gaze for awhile. I try to read his eyes to get a hint to what he's going to tell me. Will he agree to come with me? "I wish I could." he answers.
My heart instantly breaks. My breathing becomes rigid as anger starts to fill me. I push his hand away from my face harshly and break our gaze. "I think it be better if Demetrius doesn't meet you. It be easier for all of us." I say starring at the ground then automatically head for the door.
"Roxanna-"
I ignore him and I leave.
