Sherlock woke with a jolt as his hand slapped down onto the mattress he was resting his head on. He sat up immediately. John is awake, he thought eagerly. However as his eyes focused he saw that John was currently trying to pull the cannula out of his right hand, scratching lethargically at the edge of the medical tape holding it in place. Sherlock moved into action quickly, grabbing Johns hands and forcing them to his sides. The heart rate monitor beside the bed began to pick up its pace.
"John, you need to leave that alone it's supplying you with important medication." Sherlock said with a slow authoritative voice. Looking to John's face he discovered that his eyes were still shut. Rather than calming down John began to thrash about on the bed kicking his legs and moaning loudly. An alarm went off on the heart rate monitor as John's heart rate shot up.
"JOHN! You have to calm down." Sherlock shouted to no avail. He thought he heard John mumbling under the mask, it reminded him of John's PTSD induced nightmares. Relaxing the amount of restraint he was applying to John's wrists he tried again. "John, it's Sherlock, you're safe, you're in the hospital. I need you to calm down. Just take deep breathes and focus on the sound of my voice." Sherlock said in a loud but calm tone of voice.
A nurse burst through the door behind Sherlock but he was busy watching John his movements had decreased somewhat and his heart rate was beginning to stabilize.
"That's it John just calm down everything is going to be alright" Sherlock said slowly and calmly. John finally began to still, relaxing into the mattress with his head turned to face the direction of Sherlock's voice.
"Looks like you've got it under control," The nurse behind him said with an adrenaline filled chuckle, placing the protective cap back on the syringe of sedative he had brought with him. He moved to update the chart at the foot of John's bed.
"John are you awake can you hear me?" Sherlock said ignoring the nurse. "Go ahead and open your eyes John." The nurse moved to the other side of John checking over his vitals and ensuring that he hadn't pulled loose of any of the monitors or IV lines. John did not seem to react to either party; he appeared to have returned to a deep sleep again. Sherlock stopped restraining him and watched John's face for a moment longer, willing him to open his eyes. When he looked up Sherlock noticed that the nurse was giving him a fond smile. He followed the man's gaze to where his right hand was still gently resting on John's pulse point. He let his hand fall back to his side ignoring the man's slight frown at the action.
"I know this is frustrating, but he really is showing a considerable amount of improvement," He reassured him as he returned to his duties.
Sherlock continued to stand watching John's eyes for any flicker of movement. However, when he caught himself reaching out for John's wrist again he moved to sit on the couch this time. I need to break this habit I have formed. John will surely think of it as 'not good' since he does not like 'to give people reason to talk' as he says, regarding our friendship. Sherlock thought to him self, struggling to ignore how cold his right hand now felt without the reassurance of John's pulse underneath it. Sherlock exhaled forcefully as he ran his hands over his face and checked his watch. It was only 4:23am he had only slept for twenty minutes but now his heart was racing again and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He placed his hands together under his nose and assumed his thinking position, contemplating what recent events meant with regards to John's health. The room stilled with the only sounds coming from the machinery, which was monitoring John's health.
Sherlock continued to order and process data for the next half an hour. I need more information. He internally growled in frustration as he pulled his cell phone out in his typical melodramatic flourish. He proceeded to spend the next two hours researching; head injuries, traumatic brain injuries, coma, and likely recovery rates of patients, until his phone beeped warning him that his battery was critically low.
Mycroft need cell charger –SH
He angrily typed into his phone before it turned off on him. Then considering how frustrating it had been conducting his research on a cell phone he added.
Bring my laptop as well –SH
After a few moments he watched with a frustrated sigh as his cell phone powered itself off.
With nothing to distract him he began to fidget again. He had constantly been checking on John throughout his research and the other man had barely moved since the episode earlier. The research itself hadn't really helped his level of stress either. Every website itemized a laundry list of possible symptoms with the constant addition that it was highly difficult to predict a patients level of impairment. The research also allowed Sherlock to discover just how bad John's condition could have been had he not received treatment as quickly as he did. One journal had listed that for patients with a GCS of 5-7 patients had a 53% chance of dying or ending up in a vegetative state. Without the surgery to remove the subdural hematoma and the medication that was reducing his intracranial pressure John's chances would have decreased even lower.
Sherlock buried his face in his hands desperately trying to tamp down the swelling sense of guilt and self-loathing. Everyone assumed that Sherlock was completely devoid of the ability to feel emotions but this wasn't true. What he possessed was a skill, gained at a very young age, to take his emotions and force them into the basement of his mind palace where he kept all the memories he had chosen to 'delete'. Yes, John was right when he stated that the human mind didn't work like a hard drive with the ability to delete memory. However, you could build barriers and as far as Sherlock was concerned everything in that basement had never existed.
Sherlock let out a frustrated huff of air as he tugged at his hair going through his mental routine that allowed him to compress the emotions and chuck them into the basement of his mind palace. Even with the difficulty he was currently having the entire process only took a matter of seconds.
A few moments after Sherlock had settled back into his position of restless waiting he heard a light rap at the door followed by a woman entering the room clipboard in hand. She looked over John laying in the bed, a micro expression of genuine sadness flittering across her face, before she turned towards the couch. Sherlock watched her taking in the details of her appearance before she had even turned towards him. She had dark brown hair pulled tightly back into a bun and was wearing a professional grey suit with a skirt of modest length and comfortable dress shoes. Over top of that she wore her white Doctor's coat with a neat row of pens aligned by height sticking out of her pocket. She was wearing a wedding ring on her hand; not a huge diamond, but not a small one either.
"Dr. Barlow" Sherlock greeted as he stood to shake her hand. He noted a small dusting of white powder located around her wrists. As his mind automatically put the details he had observed together he stored the information as intriguing but decided that at the moment John was the priority.
"You must be Mr. Holmes," She said with a practiced smile. "Would you like to take a seat and we will discuss Johns current condition and what events may arise in the future." She said gesturing towards the couch.
Once they were seated she took a brief pause to collect her thoughts and then began. "Mr. Holmes your friend has suffered what is known as a traumatic brain injury or TBI. Based off of the fact that his coma has lasted over eight hours and he had a GCS or Glasgow coma score of 7 when he arrived his TBI is going to be categorized as either a moderate or severe case." She paused to let that sink in. "Now, Dr. Watson is doing remarkably well, based off of what occurred earlier tonight he almost scored a 10 on the GCS. A patient is considered no longer in a coma once we can consistently observe a GCS of 9 or higher." Sherlock nodded his head in understanding, having already found most of this information online. "Mr. Holmes it is important to understand that the next several days to weeks are going to be very challenging not only for Dr. Watson but for you as well. I know that the general public tends to believe that coming out of a coma is similar to the movies but there isn't a magical moment were the patient opens their eyes and is completely back to their old self. Putting aside for the moment the possibility of long term symptoms all patients will experience a period of post-traumatic amnesia after they first wake up. This means not only will he be missing some memories from before the accident but he will also be unable to properly store memories for a time. He may repeat questions or not recall things that have just been explained. He will have attention problems as well and based on the location of his injury possibly some vision problems. In addition, the injury and healing process can cause a 'chemical storm' as it were within the brain causing emotional difficulties as well." She paused preparing to breach a more uncomfortable topic. "With all this in mind it is necessary that I ask Mr. Holmes what is the nature of your relationship with Dr. Watson." Dr. Barlow quickly uttered clearly not as comfortable with the emotional as she was with the medical.
"Contrary to what the media likes to surmise Dr. Watson and I are simply roommates and colleagues." Sherlock replied with his usual lack of emotion. Internally he was partially amused as he could picture Watson frustrated and grumbling 'Not a Couple!'. For a brief millisecond he recalled another emotion accompanying those memories but he quickly returned the information to the basement of his mind palace to be forgotten. Returning to the conversation at hand he replied. "I fail to see what relevance that fact has to Dr. Watson's condition."
"I'm sorry, I do not wish to offend, what I mean is that the family and friends of an individual who has suffered a traumatic brain injury are an integral part of the recovery plan and can help improve the patients rate of recovery and chances for a full recovery. Essentially what I mean is you need to figure out soon if you are going to be willing to commit fully to Dr. Watson's recovery. If not it might be better for Dr. Watson to be assigned a full time caregiver by the hospital so that he does not suffer any unnecessary emotional stress during his recovery." She finished gaining confidence toward the end reassured in the knowledge that she was acting in her patient's best interest.
She didn't think we were in a relationship. She believes I am a machine and will be incapable of providing John with the care and support his condition will require. With that realization a rage built up in Sherlock with such speed and force as to over take his mental safety measures against the display of emotions.
"I assure you Dr. Barlow I'm not so cruel as to abandon my friend when he needs me most." Sherlock snarled unable to keep the venom from his voice. Then with an angry sneer he added. "Did the desire to leave ever cross your mind when your family member was recovering from their injury." As his logical mind finally began to reign in his emotions he knew that John would deem his comment 'not good'.
Dr. Barlow who had lowered her gaze in shame at Sherlock's first statement jerked her head to look at Sherlock more directly after the second. The shock, pain, and anger were written all over her face.
"NO! of course not," She spat with the same amount of intensity Sherlock had. Then realizing the point he had been trying to make her anger deflated. "of course not…but how…how did you know?" She said quietly.
Sherlock having completely suppressed his emotions again, proceeded to rapidly list his deductions. "Your clothing and appearance informed me that you are a very professional individual who believes in looking the part as well. Based on the pens in your pocket I determined that you are highly organized bordering on the compulsive. The combination of these two means that you have your morning schedule down to a science and do not simply sleep in. So then why are you here almost an hour later than the nurse said you would arrive? The logical assumption would be that you saw another patient first but then your clipboard disproved that. John's file is the top page and yet there is no crease along the top edge of the paper from having been folded back in order to view the papers underneath. Then we come to your wrists. They have traces of cornstarch powder arranged in a fashion that one finds after an individual has removed powdered medical gloves. Now since I had concluded already that you haven't seen any other patients yet then why would you have already worn and disposed of a pair of medical gloves. The only conclusion is that you were wearing them while treating someone at your own home. Finally the look you gave John as you entered the room was similar to that of an individual being forced to relive a painful memory. Putting all this information together I concluded that you currently have a family member living at home who has recently suffered a significant injury." Sherlock quickly and succinctly listed.
"…I'm…I'm not sure what to say. I guess the newspapers didn't exaggerate your skills." Dr. Barlow chuckled mirthlessly then after a pause she added in a quieter voice. "Its my husband, James. He is…he was a cop. He was attacked while patrolling by a man with a hunting knife. He stabbed James multiple times before his partner was able to knock the man unconscious. When James' partner tried to help him back to the panda car, he…he couldn't move his legs. The blade had caused damage to his spin paralyzing him from the waist down." She struggled to explain. "James still requires a moderate amount of at home care." She finished choosing not to go into detail regarding what health complications delayed her this morning.
Sherlock wished he had managed to reign in his anger at being accused of not being a good friend to John. He hadn't really intended to make the woman relive what was probably the worst night of her life. This is exactly why people consider you cruel. He berated himself.
"I…I admit that deduction was probably in the category of things I should have kept to myself." Sherlock stated giving the closest thing to an apology he could offer. "John generally stops me before I share those kind of deductions" He added quietly realizing that fact should probably also be added to the ever growing 'analyze later' room.
Dr. Barlow gave him an understanding smile in response. The two of them shared a quiet moment as they both thought about James and John.
"Well, Mr. Holmes I think it is clear that you are committed to the task of helping John in his recovery. In a day or two you will need to talk with the rehabilitation physician to discuss what John was like before the accident so that we can come up with a plan of action that will best suit him." She said standing up and moving over to John's bed to preform her exam of the patient. Sherlock looked up hopefully when he heard John moan in complaint at a sternum rub. His eyes opened briefly in response to the pain. However he did not open them again when the doctor asked him to or move his hand when she asked him. She gently lifted his head off of the pillows checking the bandages around his head. When Dr. Barlow completed her exam she made some notes on her clipboard and the one at the foot of the bed.
"Alright well he is still at a 9 on the GCS so we can consider him officially out of his coma and in a minimally conscious state. We will check his progress every couple of hours to monitor his improvement. Like I stated earlier Mr. Holmes he is going to be very disoriented when he first starts waking up so allow him to process things at his own pace. Do you have any remaining questions for me?" She said looking towards him expectantly.
"No nothing else." Sherlock replied still feeling rather disappointed after watching John again shut his eyes.
With a nod Dr. Barlow left the room briskly moving on towards her next patient.
Sherlock paced the room with nervous energy for a little while after she left. Could he honestly be the support network that John would need while he was recovering? After all the only reason the man was injured in the first place was because of him. The negative thoughts began to swarm around his mind. He had the overwhelming urge to run away from the hospital. Perhaps it would be better if I left John to the nursing staff and go distract my mind with a case. He thought desperately eyeing the door like a caged animal. Then he looked back at John and the desire to run completely left him as he collapsed in the chair by his bed. "How did I ever manage to make a friend such as you John?" He whispered quietly to the sleeping man. "At every turn you have been willing to risk your life for me, to even kill for me and I can't even wait by your bedside without contemplating running away." He added with self-loathing. He sat like that for a while attempting to will John awake with the intensity of his gaze. However, with the adrenaline gone and nothing to stimulate his mind his eyelids began to grow heavy and soon he began to nod off. Resting his head on the edge of John's bed.
A/N: Hey I finally figured out how to do that line thing lol. Hope you all are enjoying the story. As always feel free to give me some constructive criticism so that I can improve my writing.
