Welcome to another installation of Beautiful Disasters! Good news, Green Maiden's next chapter is 25% done. Serpentine is...to be determined.Now watch as our favorite drama queen of a white puff battles one of the most difficult things when it comes to female body positivity: Bra Size! (also watch Blare and the PPG become #DONE with Bell's drama)
When You Got It
Ven you got it, flaunt it
Step right up and strut your stuff
People tell you modesty's a wirtue
But in the theatre modesty can hurt you
It was not an uncommon thing to think the Utoniums were a family that fortune seemed to shine on, from an outsider's perspective. The girls had power most couldn't even dream of, wills of solid iron, and beauty that was downright unfair.
But, like everyone, the girls had their fair share of insecurities. Bell was no exception to this fact.
Now, when most spoke to Bell, she came off like a starlet. Bright, charming, and confident in herself. Bell walked around like she was Aphrodite and, no offense to the ancient deity of love, she might as well of been.
Her long, silver hair was etheral in its beauty, almost rivaling Blossom's own copper locks.
Her face was like a porcelain doll, smooth and elegant with silver eyes encircled with dark grey lashes and pale pink lips set in a permanent pout.
She had long smooth legs and nice hips that were accustomed to strutting down streets, hallways, and stages.
And she dressed like she was modeling for foreign magazines every day.
So, what does such a girl, one who lived and breathed fabulous, have to be insecure about?
Bell stared morosely at her chest as she, for the umpteenth time today, lamented over her misfortune. Because she, the only one of her family and posse, was the only one who was a 32A Cup.
It was mortifying, being the sister with the smallest boobs.
Bubbles outgrew all of them, at an astonishing 34DD. "It's not that great," Bubbles would console her, "I mean, I get major boob sweat and my back sometimes hurts. Plus, I can never get guys to stop perving on me." But she looks great in bikinis, tank tops, crop tops, etc.
Coming to a close second was Blossom at 32D. "Bell, your boob's are perfect for your body type. Don't worry about it," says the girl who looks like a thick teen version of Jessica Rabbit, filling out her pencil skirts and blouses like everyone's wet dream.
Traitor.
And then Buttercup slides in at a 32B, though Bell can still borrow her bras for whatever reason. "You wanna trade? It's annoying not really being able to wear sports bras."
So, Bell was dead last with a chest akin to a washboard. Oh, woe is her life. She'll be doomed to a life of misery and regret if she doesn't grow more soon! She'll have to change her name and live as a lonely old maid in a small, distant cabin. She'll watch the world move on without her as-
"-Ella? BELL." Blare's sharp tone shook Bell out of her thoughts as she focused on where she was.
Right... school. Why was Blare staring at her again? He raised one of his cute, grey eyebrows as he nodded to the front where her math teacher, Mr. Issac, glared at her.
"Uhhh... yeah?"
"Thank you for rejoining us, Ms. Utonium. If you're done communicating with the spirits, maybe you'll answer problem thirteen." The class snickered as Princess smirked over at Bell. She glared at the pompous, pom-pom haired brat before turning to her teacher.
"The answer's-"
"Seventy-five, Mr. Isaac!" That little! Bell hissed.
"I was gonna say that, you walking example of a bad hair day."
"Yeah, well, you were taking way too long, Whitescreen. Ugh, I'd be, like, seventy-five by the time you answered."
"Well, at least you'd finally look your age!" Before the two divas could throw hands, Mr. Isaac threw his up in the air.
"Girls! I thought we agreed no more arguing in class!"
"She started it, though!" And thus, a Bell Rant ensued. Blare rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's antics as she disrupted class again. "I was just sitting in my chair, trying to fully absorb and meditate on the lesson so that I can further my education and the one time I was called on to participate-"
"I called on you three times. Blare answered each time."
"-Princess rudely and harshly snubbed me from my chance to provide insight into my understanding on this material! Oh, no! I'll never truly understand mathematics now! I won't graduate and I'll be forced to drop out and work tirelessly in a back breaking, bone withering menial job, struggling to make ends meet as I continuously try to support my family, who only have the one roof above their heads and barely any food. I'll wither away as I give my small, mediocre portions to my children-"
"What children!?" Blare and Mr. Isaac were now lost. But that's normal when dealing with Bell.
"Growing weaker and sicklier by the day, trudging through the snow, ice, and sleet to job after job, giving away my body, mind, and soul to provide before one day-ONE DAY- I collapse in sheer agony from starvation and fatigue in the frosty blizzards of Siberia-"
"Okay, what?"
"I think we lost her."
"-and as I lay dying a slow, frigid death, thinking of my poor sick babies who will have no one now, I'll whisper... why...God, why did Princess have to be such a slag and interrupt me in class! And so, my tragic and morose life ends with Princess's selfish actions as the last thoughts on my mind!"
The entire class stared at her for a good five minutes before cracking up. "Oh my God, Bell, you're such a diva," Julie cackled from behind her. Mr. Isaac sank in his chair, face buried in his hands as he contemplated quitting.
Blare sighed. Same old Bell.
Princess scoffed, "drama queen."
Bell huffed, "peon."
Finally, the final bell rang and, as per usual, the student populace gathered their things and hurried out to their extra curricular activities or cars with a cheer over being free of school. Bell swiped her bag and turned to speak to Blare before growling.
Now, Bell and Blare had only been dating for six months by now. Both, though, were quickly rising in popularity with Blare being an amazing singer and mysterious and Bell being the new "queen" of the theatre troupe.
Blare, like his brothers, had a lot of the female student body interested in him. Bell couldn't blame them, Blare really was cool. He almost never yelled, he was always calm, and he was smart. He could also be really charming, he just chose not to be.
And he looked good in the signature Rowdyruff Boy leather jacket. Real good.
Usually, Bell felt no threat to their relationship. After all, she was Bell Utonium. She's had guys chasing after her since she was five. She won beauty pageants, she was funny, she was cool, and she was smart too.
So what if she could come off as conceited? She knew her worth, is all.
Well, there were two girls Bell felt were trouble.
Missie Angelo and Princess Morebucks.
Both of which were latching onto her boyfriend like the bloodsucking, STD inducing leeches they were.
"Hey, Blaaaa-aare, I wanted to ask you something," Missie Angelo was a fake little tramp who wore tight, last season miniskirts and low cut tops. She shoved those equally fake DD boob's in anyone's face and couldn't keep her legs closed if they were stapled shut (per Bell).
Blare looked at her, eyebrow raised.
No, Blare Bear, don't listen to Lady Thunder McFakeTits! Bell was now seething as the tramp rubbed her cheap, silicon balloons all over his arm.
Gotcha, Missie thought. I bet he's so into me right now. Ha, you stupid piece of white out.
I wonder what's gonna be on TV later... Blare thought blankly. Butch better not start watching Game of Crowns without me.
"So, I was gonna go see a movie tonight, but I can't find anyone to go with me...I get lonely easy, will you come with me?" Blare blinked and remembered that he was now required by the Law of Bell to speak immediately.
"I don't do movies." Which was a lie. Blare liked movies, but he was not sitting through another romantic comedy. Bell was enough.
"Oh...dinner then?"
"Busy."
"Maybe we could-"
"Ugh, you skanky, get your claws away fr-"
"Can't you see he's not interested, Miss Silicone Valley? But, Blarikins, maybe we could hang out tonight? Hmm?" And there was skanky number two, Princess B*tchbucks. She was always after one of the Jojos. Last year, she was dead set on Butch being her soulmate.
That ended, though, when Butch asked Buttercup out and she decided that she liked her face the way it was.
Pity, a black eyes is just what she needs.
"Can't," Blare quipped, getting his bag. "I'm taking Bell to dinner."
"Ugh, still?"
"We have a date tonight?" Bell had planned all their dates so far. Blare just showed up. It usually wasn't a problem, but this was surprising.
Blare smiled at her, not a smirk, not a sneer. A real genuine smile that made Bell think of puppies frolicking in snow for the first time. "Surprise. See you at seven, Ella." With that, Blare left to head home.
Great, now to deal with these two hoes. Bell snarled as the three of them got in each other's faces. "Listen, you STD spreading monkeys, keep your paws off my man!"
"Ugh, he might be yours now," Missie huffed, "but he's totally into me. Blare'll be mine by the end of the week." Princess laughed.
"You? Uh, he's got super enhanced senses. He'll smell that cheap silicone and barf." Princess fluffed her hair, "Blare likes real women. So, I've got him in the bag."
"I thought you said he likes real women," Bell snorted, "you, Princess, are about as real as Kim Kardashian's butt."
"Well, at least I'm not as flat as an ironing board!"
"Yeah," Missie scoffed, "I had more boob when I was nine."
"Adding silicone doesn't count."
"You might wanna look into it, though, Flatland." Bell flipped her hair and looked down her nose at the two.
"Ugh, don't forget who beat you two and even Bubbles out of the Miss 16 California contest. I don't need your fat chests to look good or to keep my boyfriend. Last warning, mitts off." She stomped away, hair flipping in both their faces as her brain rang with their words.
Ironing board... flatland...Bell was a fabulous girl, but she needed fabulous boobs to match.
That night, Blare picked her up and took her to the new curry restaurant on the other side of town. Bell morosely stirred her super spicy curry as Blare watched.
She was quiet.
She was only quiet when she was really, really upset.
Bell was upset.
Blare hated it when his girlfriend was upset. "Ella, what happened?"
"...Nothing..."
"Бульбашка." (Bull crap)
"It's the truth, though."
"Bell."
"Really, it-"
"Bell."
"Blare, I prom-"
"Bell."
"Do you like Missie Angelo?" Her shout resognated through the restaurant and several heads turned in their direction. Bell felt her face heat up as she sat back down. Blare shook his head, a slight amused smile on his face.
She was way too easy to crack.
"Why would you think that?"
"Well... she was all... all rubbing her boobs all over you today and..."
"No, I do not like her. She is way too clingy."
"...People tell me that I'm clingy..."
"It... it is cute when it's you..." Blare looked out of the corner of his eye while Bell giggled.
"What about Princess? She was all over you too."
"Last year she was all over Butch. The year before, Boomer. And before that, it was Brick." Blare drank his soda, "I am no one's rebound."
"So, you think I'm prettier than them?"
"Definitely. You're out of their... what was the word for ліга?"
"League, babe."
"Right. You're out of their league." Bell smiled gratefully at him. Most didn't get to see Blare like this, shy and sweet as he stumbled through idiocies and the still ever present language barrier.
They only saw the cool and aloof gray Rowdyruff Boy who was rumored to have been an assasin before joining the Rowdyruff Boys and learning how to play rock and roll. They never saw the Blare who liked small dogs, hot cocoa, and spicy curry who still had horrific nightmares from his past...a past Bell didn't even know about.
A Blare who didn't talk much, not just because he didn't feel the need to, but also because he hates messing up his English.
Missie and Princess didn't know that. All those two bimbos saw was a hot super powered punk rocker.
But still, Bell thought, Blare's a boy...boys like boobs. Bell had to do something or she's gonna lose her Blare Bear.
The next weekend, Bell dragged her sisters into Bras and Beyond. Blossom groaned as Bell tried on push up bra after push up bra...padded after padded.
"Bell, that's too much, it makes you look top heavy."
"Geez, do you see the price on this? Professor will have an aneurysm if he sees it on your credit card."
"No, just no."
"That one's cute."
"Yeah, but it feels like I'm wearing barbed wire."
Blare stared at Bell. She had been acting weird all week...Actually, she and those other two were acting weird.
Those other two being Missie and Princess.
Those two kept commenting on things that would probably make Him blush and wearing tops that might as well have been invisible. Plus, they would not leave him alone.
"Yeah, well, it was only a matter of time before Princess tried to get you, bro." Boomer shrugged, "think of it as a rite of passage."
"Yeah, well, I have two versions of Princess after me." Bell had been acting weird and was constantly uncomfortable. Plus, she looked...different.
Blare couldn't put a finger on it. Every time he tried to bring it up, Bell changed the subject. And what was with her rubbing her chest against his arm all the time? Blare had no issue with Bell being in his space, but this was ridiculous.
He has limits.
And thus, history repeated itself as Blare began hiding and Bell had to search him out.
"HE HATES MEEEEEEE," Bell wailed one night after Blare finally snapped at her. Bubbles handed her another box of tissues as the white puff sobbed on her bed. Blossom sat beside her, patting her back as she read her latest novel.
"Dude, maybe you should try easing up a little," Buttercup suggested, not taking her eyes off Bubbles' TV. "You know Blare hates being crowded on."
"B...but I just wanted him to think I'm pretty!"
"Bell, you're gorgeous. Your boob soze doesn't matter." Blossom was kind of done with Bell's boob melodrama. Then again, she gave them all Hell with her weight loss craze and Bubbles drove everyone crazy with her braces meltdown.
And don't get them started on Buttercup's growth spurt.
So, her sisters figured Bell was allowed to whine over being a little lacking in the breast department.
"Easy for you guys to say! Bubbles is the Double D Queen, you're a thick redheaded version of Holly Wood, and Buttercup has the biggest B's I've ever seen! But me? Oh, I'm a freaking flatland! Sooner or later, he's gonna see some hot, big boobed bimbo and dump me." Bell sobbed into her pillow as her sisters rolled their eyes at her dramatics.
"...Is...Is anyone gonna tell her?"
"Nope, let her learn."
"She'll figure out Blare's tastes on her own."
The next morning, after sending Blare a text, Bell grudingly went to the school on her own. Since she was a part of the theater club, she had to be at Saturday morning practice. And Blare was going to fill in for their sound specialist since he had broken his arms in a freak ice cream cart accident.
Bell still didn't know the details for that.
The white puff floated into the theater, somber, when she came to see everyone staring as Princess and Missie fought over Blare.
"Back off, you silicon stuffed freak, he's mine!"
"As if, Bratty McB*tchBucks! He's going to dinner with me, right, Blare?"
"No, he's going out with me tonight! Isn't that right, Blarie Poo?"
Blare was royally done. This is the last time I work with the theater troupe.
Why...why that...those...Bell's enraged scream tore through the theater (which sucked because there were really good acoustics), and it could be heard across town. Suddenly she was in their faces, "I TOLD YOU SLUTS TO BACK OFF!"
"Oh look, its the Flatland, everyone!"
"Awww, did we make the baby upset?"
"I'M GONNA RIP YOUR STD RIDDLED FACES OFF!"
"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the lack of boob you have."
"You need to go back to elementary school. Come back when you actually mature."
"Blare Bear, were you really going to take one of those tramps out?" She was near tears, she couldn't lose Blare already. She just got him.
Blare hated that look, it meant Bell was gonna burst into tears at any second. He shook his head. "No."
Sniff. "Then why were you letting them rub those big, stupid boobs in your face?" Blare stared down at her and, suddenly, as he thought over the word "boobs", he noticed Bell's chest.
She was wearing a padded bra.
Blare resisted the strong, strong urge to smack his hand to his face. Bell thought he liked big boobs.
She really was clueless.
Before he could speak, Princess did. "Obviously, he wishes you had bigger boobs. I mean, no boy likes a flat chest brat like you. Blare, you should ditch this child," she hugged his arm, "and hang out with me. We'll have some real fun."
"Or you could skip the trashy idiot," Missie purred, "and come over to my place. My parents are out of town tonight." Blare stared at the three girls blankly before saying:
"I don't like big boobs."
Bell stared.
Princess stared.
Missie stared.
Blare...didn't like...big boobs?
The silver haired boy freed his trapped arm and walked over to his girlfriend. He wiped her tears and kissed her on the forehead, "even if I did, I wouldn't leave my girlfriend for a girl with bigger boobs. That's stupid."
"...That's..."
"Stupid?!" Blare nodded. He glared at the other two.
"Why would I leave Bell for you? You're both annoying." The group, who had been watching this drama go down, laughed as Princess sputtered and Missie gasped. "Stop bugging us."
"So...so...you don't think...I should be...be bigger?"
"No."
"So...you think I'm prettier than them?"
"Yes." Bell blinked before breaking out in a huge grin and hugging him.
"Oh, Blaaaare Beeeeeaaar, that's so sweet! I'm sorry for being so ridiculous! Ha, you're right, as if I need big boobs! Big boobs are so last century!" Happy that, that foolishness was over, the drama teacher called Bell over to try on a new costume for next month's play. Bell jumped and pulled Blare along, pushing past the two girls as they gaped at Blare, "come on, Blare. You have got to see this dress! I make such a cute Juliet, don't you think?"
Blare nodded. He wasn't listening, he was just glad his girlfriend wasn't worried about her chest anymore. He let her pull him so he could watch her glorious legs strut in front of him.
She didn't need to know that he was more of a leg man anyway.
