Hold - 007

"Fucking BASTARD!" Jim screamed, lunging towards the man tied to the rusty operating table. 'I HATE YOU!" Tears were pooling in his eyes, and he stumbled towards his ex-lover, shaking. "I hate you!" He grabbed the first knife he could reach, repeatedly plunging it into Sebastian's body. It was a shock to the sniper - the thought that Jim would actually kill him had never crossed his mind.

Minutes later, Jim was shaking, huddled into a corner, blood all over his clothes. Sebastian, his Sebastian was lying dead in the same room. Jim had killed him. He was alone. He screamed and screamed for someone to help him, to pull him away, to make him stop hurting. Except he had killed the man who had always done that for him.

His screaming changed from cries for help to a repeated 'Sebastian'. Over and over. Again and again. He screamed until his voice ran hoarse, and still continued to scream.

And then it was warm and soft and loving. "Jim?" Sebastian. It was Sebastian. Sebastian's voice. Jim opened his eyes to find himself in his bed, Sebastian worriedly looking down at him. "Sebastian?" he croaked. It had been a dream. Just a dream.

"Shh, Jim, shh. I've got you. Bad dream?" Sebastian pulled the smaller man into him, wrapping his arms around him, burying his nose in Jim's hair. Jim hugged him tightly, trying his hardest to not cry. "Bastian." he gasped, shaking again.

Sebastian looked down at him startled. He'd never seen Jim this shaken up before. "Jim, Jim, it's okay, hush. Jimmy. Jim, listen to me. Jim!" he frowned, sitting up, pulling the younger man into his arms. "James. I'm right here. I'm right here."

Jim crumpled into his arms, gasping for breath. Seb cursed, gently stroking his cheek. "Did you take your meds this morning?"

He shook his head. Hadn't wanted to. Had thought they were pointless. Seb groaned, rocking him back and forth. Nightmares weren't an uncommon occurrence with Jim, but he was always able to deal with them by himself. If he needed Seb, it was always for a distraction. Seb could count on one hand the amount of times the man had been on his medicine and needed Seb to comfort him. He thought it had been one of those dreams tonight. He'd never seen Jim in a state even remotely this bad. "James, I've got you. I've got you, honey. What happened?"

And so the words spilled out, Jim telling him about how Sebastian had cheated on him, tried to get away, and how in result Jim had killed him. "Jesus." Seb murmured, kissing Jim's cheek. "I'm here, honey. I'm yours. You know that."

"I killed you." Jim murmured, dropping his head onto Seb's shoulder. "And I was so alone and I was hurting so bad."

Seb swallowed, closing his eyes. He knew what would happen to Jim if he ever died. That was why he'd stopped taking unnecessary risks. But whenever Jim had another episode, he always was faced with the harsh reality that someday, he wouldn't be here.

What Seb didn't know was that someday was coming soon, and he would find Jim's body, sprawled across the roof of Saint Barts.

What Seb didn't know was that he was going to be losing Jim and gaining Richard. A shadow of the man he had once been.

Richard still had nightmares, but he always woke Seb up, because in his mind Seb was safe, and Seb was comfort, and Seb was his Sebby.

Sebastian hated him for it. And yet he couldn't push him away, because he knew Jim was still in there. Terrified. Alone.

And most of all, furious.