A/N Thanks for sticking with me for this one guys. I'll be honest I'm having a conundrum about whether to get our girls together and whether Jane's conscience would let her. I think she's still having a bit of gay panic but there's something else as well. I'll see where she decides to go when I start writing. Jane is so flipping complicated sometimes!
Chapter 7
Jane realised that was it – that's what had been driving her crazy. She'd finally figured out her tipping point – this woman Violet. She could cope with Ian and the other guys but the thought that Maura could be with a woman and that woman wasn't her was what tipped her over the edge.
Maura was still looking at her with a total look of bewilderment on her face
"Violet? My spare bedroom is a kind of Violet hue but it's more a plum colour. But the pronoun 'who' indicates that you are talking about a person?"
Jane's speech was once again failing her. She was looking towards the door wondering how quickly she could get out. She berated herself for being weak and asking who this woman was. But she had to know. And yet she was terrified what the answer would be.
She felt a small tug on her hand. The tears had abated to a manageable level but her sight was still slightly blurry so she hesitated to move. But as she felt another gentle tug on her hand she began to move letting the smaller woman direct her.
Finally taking a seat on the sofa Maura retrieved the throw she had been wrapped in minutes earlier and put it around Jane's shoulders. The tall Detective was shivering and Maura wanted to warm her up before she began to interrogate her about what the hell was going on.
She rubbed Jane's shoulders through the chenille throw helping the detective to come back to the present moment and gently easing the worry from her body. Maura felt and saw Jane relax and she began to slow her movements. Moving back from where they sat perched on the edge of the sofa, where Jane had sat deliberately, ready to flee, Maura brought the lithe form back against her on the sofa. Settling Jane's head on her shoulder she opened the throw wider so it covered most of the Detective's body. The tears and shaking had stopped, replaced by a lethargy that was almost as disturbing. Maura reached down to check Jane's pulse at her wrist it was slow and steady as her friend was beginning to fall asleep against her shoulder.
The interrogation could wait. Right now, knowing that Jane hadn't been sleeping, she was content to give the Detective the few hours' rest she so obviously needed.
She closed her own eyes and laid her head softly against Jane's so as not to disturb her.
It didn't take long for Maura to join Jane in sleep. She figured she would require the energy to deal with whatever the woman sleeping on her was about to throw at her. She thought again briefly about the kiss. She'd thought about it many times through the evening. She had known she would see Jane at some stage tonight. She wasn't sure when but she knew that she would come. Jane was nothing if not conscientious about accounting for her actions. She often made half of it up to get her out of trouble with Cavanaugh, but she always did it nonetheless.
Maura smiled as she turned her head and placed a gentle kiss on the Detective's head before falling asleep.
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A few hours later, some time around 2 a.m., something in Jane's back objected strongly to the move she made to twist out of the arms around her when she woke. She had woken with a start. She didn't know where she was or who was holding her. When the smell of jasmine filled the air she immediately let out a sigh of relief.
'Maura', it was the first thought that came into her head when she smelled that smell.
The relief was quickly replaced by fright. What had happened? Why was she in Maura's house? Why was she in Maura's arms?
She tried to move but Maura wasn't asleep. She'd woken some minutes earlier and just closed her eyes to relax while Jane slept on her. Maura immediately felt the movement. Opening her eyes she looked at the squirming figure as tussled curls were roughly pushed to one side while Jane tried to garner her surroundings and devise an exit strategy.
"The door is locked, but you know where the key is. I'd prefer if you didn't leave Jane. I'd rather you stayed and we talked. But it's up to you" Maura wasn't going to scare Jane away again. Even though she wasn't sure exactly why the Detective had decided to flee from her morgue.
Jane turned to look up at the Doctor, trying but failing to formulate a sentence. What was wrong with her? A small voice in her head spoke up 'right this is it Rizzoli, its fight or flight time, and you know Rooney will kick your ass if you run'
Maura was watching waiting for a response. About to speak again she heard Jane say quietly
"I'm sorry"
She watched as Jane changed her position on the sofa so she was no longer within her reach. Maura wasn't so much scared of the physical distance as of the barrier that she was sure was going to go up. But she wasn't going to let it this time.
"Sorry for what?"
Jane shrugged.
"It's all well and good being sorry Jane, but if you don't know what you're apologising for I can't really accept it can I?"
Jane turned her head to glower at Maura.
"Do you have to be so literal about everything?"
"Yes"
Jane gave a hollow laugh "Figures".
"Jane we can go around in circles all night talking about my total lack of social skills or capabilities to understand sarcasm or you can stop being an idiot and tell me what's wrong?"
"Did you just call me an idiot?"
Maura wasn't capable of insulting someone unless it was in a mocking way so the fact she had just insulted her best friend shocked her.
"Yes I did. But Jane you are for want of a better phrase because I'm lost for one right now 'driving me insane'".
Jane smiled half-heartedly.
"I forgive you"
Maura almost forgot what they'd been talking about moments earlier so amazed was she that she got angry enough with Jane to call her names in a hurtful manner.
"I'm not sure I forgive myself. I'm sorry".
Jane stood up to leave.
"Right so lets say we're both sorry and leave it at that. Night Maur"
Jane felt fingers intertwine with hers as she tried to stand.
"Jane I can't take this anymore. Sit down"
Jane slouched down onto the sofa once again and laid her head back against the cushions.
"Why did you kiss me?" Maura asked quietly.
Jane groaned internally. She didn't have an answer for that. Or rather she did but she was only slowly working it out for herself right now. She turned to look sideways and the petite woman sitting with her head titled staring at her intently.
"Maura I don't have an answer for that right now. I can tell you it was because I wanted to but I can't tell you anymore than that. My brain hasn't got a 3.2-gigahertz processor in it like yours. It takes me time to work this stuff out".
Jane watched as a perfectly manicured set of fingers moved towards her. She wasn't sure what was coming but she was sure if it was a slap she deserved it. It wasn't. She felt soft fingers slide along the side of her head a thumb caressing her cheekbone as Maura moved closer to her. Jane was frozen, it was becoming a common sensation, and not one she liked very much. The feeling that followed was much nicer.
Jane's eyes were already closed in anticipation of the touch of Maura's lips to hers. Maura smiled at the Detective's eagerness as she closed the final few inches of space between them. Careful at first, thinking she might break the revere Jane had fallen into, their lips barely touched. Small gentle kisses. As Jane shifted to turn her whole body into Maura she felt the fingers cupping her jaw tighten. Almost immediately she felt Maura's tongue dart out and lick her lower lip quickly, so quick Jane thought she might have imagined it. But then she felt it again. She slid her right hand behind Maura to the nape of her neck and intertwined her fingers in golden curls.
She opened her mouth to accommodate the warm tongue that was now putting pressure on her lips, while trying to capture some air. She knew it was a necessity if she wanted to keep doing this. And she did.
Feeling Maura's tongue against her own she began to swirl it gently, feeling Maura do the same. It was a soft exploration, a dance. There was no pressure, no hurry.
Eventually air became a necessity for both of them. Leaning back only slightly Maura felt Jane rest her forehead against hers. She relaxed slightly at the gesture as it reassured her that Jane wasn't going to panic and run.
She saw a grin on the Detective's face as she pulled slightly away to take in her face fully.
"You seem happy with yourself?"
"No just happy. God Maur, I've wanted to do that for so long"
Maura leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Jane's cheek.
"You can do it for as long as you want my darling."
Jane's eyes widened.
"You mean…?"
"I mean…? You need to finish your sentences Detective. You know how it irks me!" Maura winked.
"You mean you want to keep doing this?"
"Of course Jane. Why would I not?"
Jane's thoughts quickly turned to the night she had stood inside the doorway to the house and watched Maura touch herself. She couldn't start something like this off on a lie.
"You might want to move back a bit, I'm finding it hard to concentrate with you so close. And you'll probably want to move further away anyway when I tell you what I'm about to"
Maura looked at Jane quizzically.
"What is it Jane? Is there something wrong?"
"It's more something I did wrong…"
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A/N 2: I'm not being a tease I promise. I want to give this next bit a whole chapter because to be honest I'm not sure what Maura's reaction is going to be yet. If you'd like to suggest one please feel free? I'm giving it a chapter because Maura – even with her speedy processing capabilities doesn't do emotions very well and I'm not sure yet whether she'll be betrayed/turned on/annoyed/out and out hurt by Jane's confession.
