This is the chapter containing the obligatory "not bad" from Levi.

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"So are you taking Main or Sixth over to Washington?"

"Main is shorter." Levi's voice was terse.

"Yeah, but if you take Sixth then we can drop these two off at HQ before we bring Eren home. It's only a few blocks detour. We can call Mike and let him know we're bringing in some trash and we can just do a rolling drop-off. Eren can hop to the backseat and that's twenty minutes less of my face being shoved into a smelly shoulder."

"You want to bring some random kid to HQ? Erwin is going to lose his shit, Hanji."

"It's not like he's coming inside. Erwin doesn't have to know."

"He's still going to know where it is though."

Great, even more of them talking about me like I'm not here. I don't even care where their HQ is. I just want to get home so that I can shower, whack off to Levi in spandex and pass out.

"Eren won't tell anyone where we work out of, will you Eren?"

"What, huh? Yeah, no! Totally not going to tell anyone. I'm barely awake right now I won't remember a damn thing."

"See, Levi? He's not going to say a word. He wouldn't rat out his big hero."

"What the fuck? I never said – no, don't take it like that... I'm not. It's just that..." Eren was glad that his rather violent blush was covered by the fact that he was doubled over and his face was obscured.

Hanji started cracking up, their chest heaving from the violence of their laughter. Their face slammed into Eren's shoulder repeatedly as they continued to convulse from their laughter.

"The look on your face when you first saw Levi, no way was that not hero worship." No that was actually a weird combination of shock and lust, but I guess I'll take your interpretation. "And then when you saw me and you looked so excited! You're a Survey Corps fanboy, aren't you?"

"I'm not! It's just that my sister is a superhero and I've met a lot of the other guys in the area, but I've never met you so uh I guess I was just... surprised? Like, there's my sister but I'm also friends with The Hunter and Historia and Savage Dancer and just yeah..."

"Hanji, leave the kid alone. I'm going to call Mike and let him know we're dropping off some trash."

It didn't take long for them to get to the Survey Corps HQ. He understood now why Levi had been so pissed about driving him home; their headquarters were only ten minutes from the warehouse district, but they were still twenty to thirty minutes from his apartment. Oh wow, making this trip is a huge pain for them. He stood next to the car while Hanji and Levi dragged the (still unconscious) bodies into the building that he assumed was their headquarters. He saw the shadow of a third person who he assumed was "Mike" holding an alley door open for them. He continued to stand awkwardly by the car as Hanji and Levi moved the bodies inside as he tried to decide if he should sit back in the car or stay where he was.

It would be a lot more comfortable to stay in the car since it is kind of chilly out, but I'm still covered in bird shit and I know that Levi is going to get upset if I sit down in the car and get shit all over the seat while I wait for them and he would be so pissed if I got anything on the seats I just know it and I really want him to like me. But it's getting really fucking cold out here.

"Eren! Come inside with us for a moment." Hanji had come back out into the alley and was waving their arm vigorously trying to get his attention. He followed them into through the door that they were holding open. There wasn't much light inside and all he could really tell was that the walls were made of brick as he walked down a flight of stairs into what he assumed was the basement of the building. Hanji was standing behind him and when he got to the bottom they grabbed his shoulders and made him do a quick ninety degree turn to the left and pushed him through a door.

The room on the other side was much brighter than the stairs and looked some sort of a combination living room / kitchen. Another door a few feet ahead of him was closed and he could hear a shower running behind it. Continuing to guide him by his shoulders, Hanji steered him into the room and forced him to do an abrupt about face to face them.

"So Eren. You're going to take a shower before you leave. Levi is in there right now but," Did she really have to say that? "When he gets out you can hop in quickly." Hanji yawned widely and stretched "I'll find some spare clothing of mine that you can borrow since you're closer to my size than you are to Levi's and we can tie these clothes up in a plastic bag and you can wash them when you get home. Does that sound okay? You have to promise me that you'll return the clothes though."

"Sure, that's fine with me. I thought that I'm not supposed to be here though?"

"Levi was complaining about how filthy you are and since he's going to be driving you the rest of the way," wait, what? "you should take a shower first or you're going to have to deal with Captain Clean being pissy at you for the rest of the drive."

A voice called out loudly from behind Hanji, "You know the only reason that she's lending you clothes is so that you have to return them, right brat? It's an excuse for her to experiment on you. Knock it off shitty goggles, the kid's had a rough enough day as is."

Levi is standing right there. Right behind Hanji. He's only wearing a towel. His hair is wet. Oh fuck, he doesn't have his mask on. Oh shit oh shit. I'm not supposed to see him without his mask. Superhero etiquette rule number one: thou shalt not look upon the unmasked face of another unless you are given explicit permission. I bet he has gorgeous eyes. No, I shouldn't look... but fuck if I know the next chance I'll get to see him and especially not like this.

As much as Eren wanted to look up and check out his superhero crush's face (and half-naked body), the fact that he had grown up with his sister had drilled in that number one rule of masked crime-fighting: you never look at someone's face if they're unmasked unless they have given you permission to do so. Usually that meant that you were either related to said superhero or were in a very intimate relationship with said superhero. Rescuing a random college student, taking him back to your headquarters and accidentally walking out of the shower without a mask doesn't count as being given permission. Not by a long shot. Fuck, don't look, don't look, don't look.

Hanji pressed a pile of clothes into his hands as he kept his eyes glued to the floor and shuffled towards the shower trying not to bump into anything. He heard Hanji voice some sort of confusion from behind him as he nearly walked into a table that he hadn't seen while looking down, but he ignored it. It was a bit embarrassing, but he refused to violate the first rule, especially not now. His embarrassment evaporated when he passed by Levi, giving him as much space as he possibly could and heard him address him quietly.

"You know the rules, brat. Not bad."