初めての恋が終わる時

Hajimete no Koi ga Owari Toki

*6*

調和 — Harmony

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過去

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I stood at the end of the room as the young kit played the piano piece while his music instructor watched and listened intently, his sharp eyes watching the way his little fingers danced above the black and white keys. Yesterday he had been practicing his violin, and now he is starting on his advanced piano lessons. Clearly, his heart was not in his playing; his ruby eyes were dull and lifeless as he went through the motions, his teacher just as uncaring as long as he did not miss a single key. As he finished playing today's assigned piece, the name of which I never bothered to know, his teacher merely praised him for playing the piece perfectly "as expected of the Akashi heir" and "just as usual" before presenting him with a new piece for the next lesson for the day after tomorrow. The little kit nodded and bid goodbye to his teacher and thanked him for teaching him, even though all he did was to stand and listen to the redhead's performance. As the man passed by me on his way to the door, he paused to bow down to me respectfully before scurrying out like a rat with a cat on its tail.

"Come on, kit, time for your lunch," I said as I walked towards him, still seated on his piano bench.

"Hai," he replied, finally standing up and meeting me halfway. I took his small hand in mine and guided him outside. I led him first to the kitchens where I picked up the lunch basket that I had ordered the cook to prepare for us. Akashi took one look at the basket and with joy in his eyes, he said, "We're going to have a picnic!"

I can only laugh softly at his excitement and nodded at him. "That we are."

We made our way to the gardens and picked a spot under the rose-covered tunnel. I let him assist me spread the blanket on the pavement. As I took out the food from the basket, the little kit was practically bouncing in happiness.

"What's the occasion?" the kit asked me as we started eating.

"Hm?" I cocked my head to the side and smiled at him. "Nothing. I just thought that it is a good day to eat outside."

The heir was silent for a moment, then he nodded slowly as he processed my reasoning. "I see..."

No, you don't, I thought sadly, not quite. I didn't say anything anymore, just gestured for him to eat some more, to which he thankfully agreed, taking a few more slices of the fried tofu and dipping it into the tasteful sauce.

"Tofu is very delicious, ne, Gitsune-san?" the kit asked as he chewed happily on his food. I couldn't help but laugh as he ate enthusiastically, erasing all traces of that weary boredom he had on his face just moments ago.

The kit has patience and endurance, and he understands duty well. He knows that as the heir, it is his duty to be accomplished in all these things. He does what is expected of him and more. But looking at him now, I cannot help but wonder...

How long can you hold out until you snap?

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現在

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It was the night of the full moon, and Akashi was sitting on the floor of his living room, sipping tea while he watched Gitsune on her perch on his balcony, her gaze to the night sky as she waited for the moon to reach its zenith. A few moments later, she turned to him with a slight frown.

"Don't you have to go to school tomorrow? You should be asleep by now."

Akashi was not in the slightest moved by her words. "I am a grown person now, Gitsune. A few hours of sleep will not kill me tomorrow."

The kitsune glanced at the skies for a moment then snorted as she regarded the smug human a few paces away from her. Lifting the bamboo flute to her lips, she blew softly into it, creating a high, wailing sound that seemed to rise high into the heavens and dissipate like stardust around them.

As she played under the glow of moonlight, Akashi had stopped whatever he was doing at the moment and focused only on her and on the music that she was creating. The notes had a haunting melody, coming from hundreds of years ago. It was the same tune that the kitsune plays every night of the full moon ever since he first noticed her little tradition. It was a ritual of sorts, and even though he didn't know the full reason behind it – he did not ask – he cannot help but want to listen to it every time Gitsune does. With his eyes closed as he listened to it, he felt the emotions conveyed by the music even more deeply.

It was a song of yearning, wanting to have that something that is and will never be yours to have, reaching for one that is and always will be out of reach… Every time he wonders if Gitsune feels that way every time she plays that mournful song, and every time, he keeps himself in check.

Something tells him that the fox will never answer him truthfully.

"Gitsune," Akashi said when they retired to their shared room later that night. His fingers played with the furry tip of one of her tails that was curled around her body.

Hm? she answered in his mind, not raising her head from her paws to look at him.

"...Do you...get lonely?" he murmured softly, like he didn't want her to hear him.

Gitsune was quiet for a moment before she answered.

Sometimes. Then again, with eternal life comes loneliness… But you know, the longer you live, the less you feel. It's like becoming numb. Everything becomes gray and dull. Soon, you begin taking everything for granted. However, there comes a time when something or someone arrives and makes you feel again. You just have to be patient to wait for it to happen.

"Has that person or thing already arrived for you?"

Hm.

But before Akashi can ask who or what it was, Gitsune yawned and opened one golden eye to look at him.

Go to sleep, kit. Or you'll be tired tomorrow.

He sighed. "Good night, Gitsune."

There was no answer except for the slight movement of her tail to rest along the length of his arm.