Disclaimer: I own nothing even though Keira originated from my mind. SM does.
I wanted to give a huge thanks to AnnabelleLee13194, Patent Peekaboo Poses, WANTED- Hot Emphatic Vampire, and the anonymous Mary for your wonderful words and consistent reviews. You're giving me what every writer hopes to receive when posting their story to this site, and there aren't enough ways to express my gratitude for your reviews. So I dedicate this chapter to you guys, and I hope it satisfies some of your curiosities. FYI: this is the last time-jump in my story from here on out.
Chapter 7
KPOV
It has been 86 days and 13 hours since the last time I saw Jasper, and my heart still aches for him just as much as the day he left. I miss him more than any one person should be capable of, but I'm hanging in there.
In the time that's passed, everything has changed for me, yet things appear exactly the same in this small town. It's confusing for me to feel such a profound difference made to my life since Jasper vanished, while everyone else acts like they had never known him or the Cullens. Like they never existed, and their time here didn't affect anything, or anyone. Forks suddenly felt like the Twilight Zone, and it made me want to scream and shout in frustration that Jasper meant something to me, and that his absence affected me. That he was real and they were real and they were all really here. That I remembered and I knew and I felt. It also made me realize that I was probably not all there in the head right now if I was having thoughts and urges like that. I needed my man back, but I knew I'd be with him soon.
I was a complete wreck for the first few days, and if I wasn't moping around the house watching chick flicks and devouring junk food, I was on the phone sobbing to Jasper to just come home. It was hard on me to go from having him beside me every day and never having to question when the next time I'd see him would be, to never having him around me and always having to question when I'd see him next. But I worked it out and pulled myself together because I knew I was only hurting myself and everyone I loved with my behavior. No good could come from acting like a sullen child, and I could almost see Jasper's fists clenching tightly and his shoulders tensing every time he heard me cry on the phone. He hated what he had to do to me, but he needed to do it all the same. So no, I wasn't doing anybody, least of all Jasper, any good the way I was.
So I dropped the kicked puppy act and got my shit together. But a few weeks later, I soon learned that not everybody was as easily able to do that as me. Maybe it was because of the differences in our circumstances, of the situations we were both in, or maybe it's because of the vast diversities in our personalities. We might as well be night and day in our similarities, but whatever the reason, Bella Swan became and remained much like a long-time starving man.
When I saw her for the first time since everything happened, she was going in to work at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, and she was nothing but lifeless and cold. Her sunken eyes and sallow skin had lost its' luster, yet she still walked around, albeit in a defunct daze. She was so far gone you could see how unable she was to truly focus on anything around her, and when she did look around her, she wouldn't really see anyone. Because she only wanted to see one person and hear one thing. I knew because I was right there with her, but it was plain to see that where she ceased to exist in his absence, I fought to survive so I could be with Jasper again. But she had obviously lost all hope and will to live. Night and day man, night and day.
It had been six and a half weeks into the Cullen's absence when I saw Bella for the second time. I was working a shift at the diner when she and the Chief came in during the dinner rush. It was like I had practically borrowed Jasper's ability when they walked in, because I could feel the desperation seeping off Bella's father the moment I laid my eyes on him, even though he showed no outward signs of it. For as long as I've known him, he has always been a private man that would withdraw inward and hardly show his emotions. And I rarely saw him eating out, especially since Bella came to town.
So it became apparent to me that the Chief was probably trying to snap his daughter out of the state she was obviously in by bringing her out to dinner. Bless his soul, for if he only knew all the facts then he'd probably know just how far gone she really was, and why. And that nothing he did at this point would help her. Bella needed to help herself first. Or Edward needed to come back. Whichever really.
But when Bella saw me there, it was like she momentarily came back to life and her eyes snapped with glowing knowledge and curiosity. And my guess would be that for the first time since Edward left, she truly looked around her and recognized her surroundings. The Chief immediately noticed, and when I approached their table, Bella's eyes never left mine and they continued to burn with their inquisitiveness.
Her father was glancing back and forth between us, but I was standing in silence and watching Bella as she was with me.
"Do you two, um, know each other? Friends, maybe?" The Chief said in an uncomfortable, but almost hopeful, manner. He was still glancing between the two of us, and there was a few seconds of heavy silence before anyone responded.
"Um, yeah Char- Dad." Bella began in a thick, coarse voice. She cleared her throat, and I could tell it had been a long time since she last spoke. "This is Keira. She and I went to the same school."
Well duh, Bella. This is Forks, after all. There's only one high school. The Chief must have been thinking along the same line of thought as I was, because when he spoke next, there was a hint of condescension in his tone.
"I know that Bella. I'm well aware of who Keira is. She grew up here. But I also know that she was a grade ahead of you, and I've never heard you mention her before now. So, are you two friends?"
Again with the uncomfortable, but hopeful, tone in his voice when he asked the last question. He must be really desperate to get Bella out of the house and doing something with anybody.
But then Bella had to go and fuck it all up with her next statement. Her father could have had an almost normal conversation with her, and maybe felt a little more at peace with her situation, if she had just left them out of it. But no, she didn't.
"Dad, Keira use to date one of the…Cullens before they left. Hale actually. Jasper Hale." She said in a small voice as she flinched and wrapped her arms around her waist when she said the Cullen name.
And just like that, I was on the defensive. Maybe it was irrational of me, but I was still hurting too, and Jasper did not leave me. Not really. He did not do to me what her prick of a vampire did to her. Jasper was in no way, shape, or form, anything like Edward at all, and I didn't appreciate Bella using a past tense for him and I. It grated on my nerves for some reason that she automatically identified a likeness in our situations without knowing the facts. That she just assumed Jasper did the same thing to me that Edward did to her. No, Jasper did not leave me. He loved me. Truly loved me, not some twisted version of a forever frozen, seventeen-year-old boy's perception of it.
But I didn't immediately respond, instead I clenched my jaw and tried to retain a passive look. Bella threw me an apologetic glance that seemed more pained than anything else, and the Chief looked at me in bewilderment.
"You were dating Jasper Hale? He was the blond one, right?" He asked with an incredulous and slightly taken-aback gruffness. There was also a hint of anger that was barely noticeable underneath his tone.
I gritted my teeth together but just sharply nodded my head once. It would do Bella no good to know that I still communicated with the Cullens, and I was sure it would just cause a scene. That was the only thing keeping me from yelling at them and defending Jasper. Well, that and Jasper telling me to never say anything to Bella about my continuous involvement with them. Oh, who am I kidding? The latter's the only reason I wasn't lashing out in spite.
"Well, it seems you're hanging in there alright." Chief Swan said with an unconscious nod of his head as his gaze settled back on Bella.
She looked over at her father for a second before glancing down at the table. She scoffed and bitterly muttered under her breath, but we still heard her. "Yeah, I wish it was that easy for me to just forget and move on. To be distracted. But I happen to actually love him. He wasn't something to pass the time with."
I wasn't exactly sure if her words were directly related to me. It almost sounded like she was quoting someone, which probably meant Edward given the topic of conversation. But still, I felt like she was lashing out at me and condemning me because I wasn't behaving like she was. As if I wasn't as broken up over their departure as she was. And that made me angry with her on top of already feeling defensive. I could feel the licks of vibrating power forming in my heated blood, and I knew I needed to get a handle on my emotions, and thus my telekinesis, before I accidently threw Bella out the diner window in my wrath. Not that I had ever done something that magnanimous before, but I certainly felt like it was possible now. I needed to say my peace first, though, before I walked away like I promised Jasper I would.
"Enough Bella!" I demanded in a stern, hard voice. Both she and her father looked up at me, surprised at my outburst, and the Chief turned his body towards me and opened his mouth as if to say something in reply, but I quickly continued before he could cut in. I stared Bella down with a cold fury and spoke to her with the same hard edge as she continued to look at me in astonishment.
"Look at yourself! You dare to condescend me and how I'm reacting to Jasper leaving when you know nothing of our circumstances. And whether you realize you're doing it or not, you're judging me and comparing me and Jasper to what Edward did to you. Trust me when I say it's nowhere near the same thing. You have no right to say anything to me on the subject when you obviously aren't even functioning properly. Look around you Bella. The world is still living and breathing, and it's time for you to grow up and start doing the same. The world didn't stop just because you got your heart broken, and it never will. Stop hurting you and your father and wake up. It's been almost two months for God's sake. You aren't a little girl anymore, and if Edward doesn't want to be with you, then he doesn't deserve you."
I paused there, just in time to hear a few glasses behind me burst and shatter in a tinkling musical as my mind hummed with a new intensity. I was obviously a lot more pissed than I let myself believe. Shit! Jasper's gonna be sooo mad at me!
I briefly glanced behind me to make sure no one got hurt, and thanked my lucky stars that the table behind me was unoccupied. I didn't bother looking around at the other patrons as I took a deep, calming breath and turned back around to face Bella and her father. I looked at them both and shook my head as Bella shed heavy tears, once again oblivious to what was going on around her, and the Chief was focused on his daughter with a mixed expression of obvious anger and helplessness. Whether his anger was directed at me for the things I said, or Bella for the way she's been acting, or even at Edward for causing it all, I didn't know. But I frankly didn't care at the moment because I was too frustrated with myself for speaking to Bella the way I did. I shouldn't have said those things to her.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'll go get you another server."
And I was sorry. As I said before, mine and Bella's situation was entirely different. Jasper didn't leave me, but Edward left her, and only they know what he said to her in their last moments. He could have spoken callous and cruel words that shocked her and hardened her heart, and disillusioned her whole perspective on herself and their relationship. Or he could have said gentle and loving things that would have only made their goodbye that much harder to accept, and given her false hope that maybe one day he'd come back to her. I sure as hell didn't have a clue, but I knew I was a bitch for speaking to her the way I did.
I guess I wasn't as put together about this whole thing as I thought I was. Despite still being with Jasper and talking to him everyday, and knowing that we were going to be together again soon, I was still broken and disjointed inside. I wasn't entirely complete without him, and again, I recognized that I wasn't entirely sane either.
It showed in the way I reacted to Bella. My soul was lacking and destitute without my significant other. Jasper brought something intangible and indefinable to our little bubble, and I knew I could never freely be all that I was without his strong and nurturing love for me. I often find it amazing and humbling how much one person can drastically alter another. A single being can either open your eyes and teach you to fly, and give you options and knowledge you never knew you could have and can never go back from. Or they can rip away everything you thought you were and thought you knew, and beat you down with a sick reality that leaves you bereft, hopeless, and utterly unknown. Bella and I are both examples of such influences, but I was definitely the luckier one.
I didn't approach Bella and the Chief again while they were at the diner, and they didn't seem too interested in seeking me out either. They just quietly ate their meals and left with an air of despair surrounding them. But before Bella walked out the door, she turned around and her eyes searched the place 'till she found me staring back at her from across the room.
I wanted to say so many things to her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for the things I said, and that Edward really didn't deserve her if he could just leave her like that. I wanted to let her know that while I had never been where she is now and could never fully grasp her situation unless I experienced it myself, I could still understand her pain and sympathize with her. I wanted to give her hopeful and encouraging words that could maybe allow her some closure. All these things ran through my mind, but I just stood there staring back at her.
And I have no idea what was going through her mind as she looked at me. I haven't the faintest clue as to what she was searching for or why she sought me out in the first place. But she must have thought something and realized something and saw something while we were trapped in our short trance, because she smiled a small, soft smile at me and nodded her head before she turned around and walked away. And I'll be damned, but I never realized Bella had it in her to be so goddamn enigmatic. Just goes to show you that you almost never really know a person.
I never saw Bella again after that day. I heard through the grapevine that she was still a walking zombie, but I also heard from another source that she started spending some time at the reservation. Which was an improvement from nothing if you ask me. Anything but nothing. But that little bit of information also made me wonder about the werewolves that use to be such a large part of the Quileute's and their heritage. Jasper had said the wolves didn't exist anymore, but I just didn't understand how a genetic mutation, as Carlisle described it, could just disappear unless the bloodline was destroyed. If Bella was spending even a small amount of time over there, I just hoped the Cullens were right about the situation, or lack thereof. I've noticed she has a knack for getting herself in perilous situations, and I had no doubt that werewolves would fall under that category.
But later that very night when I talked to Jasper, I couldn't get Bella off my mind. I felt like I needed to let him know what was happening to her in Edward's absence. I didn't know what it would solve, but if Edward wasn't going to stop the ridiculous notion that she was better off having the Cullens just disappear and abandon her, then maybe Alice would decide to come visit her best friend or give her a call. Anything to put some life back in her, and anything to possibly atone for what I said to her.
"Jasper?" I had said tentatively over the phone after a few minutes of pointless, but adoring, chitchat.
"What is it, Keira? Is something wrong?" He asked in his smooth, deep voice that was so full of concern.
"No, nothings wrong. Well, not necessarily with me anyway. It's Bella. I saw her today at the diner and…she's not doing too good, Jasper. She's absolutely destroyed and broken over everything, and…I don't know. Isn't there anything you can do? Maybe talk to Edward, or even Alice. They haven't helped her return to a normal life; they've ruined her!"
"Keira…" He warns me as his tone lowers and becomes slightly strained. "You know there's nothing I can do that I haven't already done. Edward's made his decision, and none of us have seen him since Forks. I'm sorry you have to see her like that, and it pains me to know we did that to her, but we mustn't interfere. It's Edward's choice to make."
I almost started yelling into the phone as I gripped the receiver tightly and said, "You don't understand Jasper! When I say she's destroyed, I mean there's nothing left of the girl you once knew. It's like she's fucking dying from some fatal disease or some shit! Can't Alice at least give her a fucking call or something. She's supposedly her best friend after all. Throw her a lifeline for Christ's sake before she really does get herself killed!"
Jasper's voice softened as he answered me in barely a whisper, but I could still detect the painful frustration he was trying to hide. "I'm sorry Keira. I'll mention it to Alice, though I'm sure she's already seen what's been going on with her. How are you feeling after seeing that? It sounds like you took it pretty hard."
Tears prick my eyes, but I held them back as I gently responded. "No, it's not that. I just, well, I kinda lost it with her. I went off and yelled at her for some things she said to me, and I accused her of acting like a child in far too harsh of a manner. She pissed me off and I reacted when I should have just understood and tried to comfort her or sympathize with her. Not get angry with her and make her cry, ya know? And well, I guess I feel like shit for doing that and want to try to help her in some way, since I'm obviously incapable of doing that face to face."
Jasper chuckled lightly, and the sound resonated in my ears and gave me splendid tingles down my spine.
"Well, at least you didn't unintentionally throw flying objects at her or anything of that nature. It could have been worse." He said with mellowed laughter still lacing his words.
Now I chuckled, but mine came out forced and uneasy as I simply said, "Yeah."
Jasper picked up on my disquiet immediately, and he once again stated in a warning tone, "Keira, tell me you didn't react telekinetically. Please tell me you didn't have any objects magically flying around in your parents diner with customers around to see."
"No! No, nothing like that!" I hurried to explain. "A couple of glasses shattered behind me on another table, but Bella and her father didn't even notice, and there was no way any of the other patrons would have been able to put two and two together. That's all that happened, no big deal."
He sighed, but said in a much more relaxed voice, "Good, I would hate to have to come over there just to 'take care' of a few innocent bystanders. And I don't want anything getting in the way of our plans and easy disappearances."
"Hey now, what about me!" I began in a petulant tone. "Who says you would come all this way just to get rid of a few people...if that's what you meant. Which you wouldn't have to, you know. There are other ways to fixing problems other than making them just disappear, and I'll have you know that..."
Jasper's hearty, boisterous laughter cut me off from my rambling, and it was a good, long minute before he could speak again without erupting in more laughter.
"Keira," He finally responds in great amusement, and I could practically see the twinkle shining brightly in his molten gold orbs. "I don't need to kill people to take care of most problems. I'm an emotional manipulator, remember? A little bit of fear and persuasiveness can go a long way."
"Yeah, well…whatever." I replied sullenly. How was I to know how he 'took care' of humans? He's a vampire for Christ's sake!
"Anyway," He stated much more calmly and controlled. "You know that if there was ever a reason that made it absolutely necessary to return to Forks, you would be the first thing I ran to, and I'd never let go again. Soon Keira. This will all be over with soon. But how's your control over the telekinesis going? Are you having any other problems or struggling at all? You really haven't mentioned it that often."
"Oh Jasper." I sighed. "It's fine, I guess. Not really having any problems with it because it hasn't surfaced that much, but it's still so much harder without you here. I want to explode half the time, and I don't know if it's just me or if it's a different form of my 'mental condition', ya know? But such is life for the weird and supernatural you could say."
I sighed again, and Jasper tenderly and lovingly responded, "Hang in there, little one. You're strong and I love you more than I ever thought possible. We'll get through this together, and then we'll spend forever making up for lost time."
That was all it took for me to crack, and for the first time in a month and a half, I cried on the phone with him. I poured out everything I thought and felt over our situation, and I repeatedly told him how much I missed him and needed him. It might not have been fair for him to have him hear me break down, and once again feel guilty over something that wasn't his fault, but this separation wasn't fair to me either. Jasper understood that, and he listened to me and whispered loving words and promises that help to soothe my turmoil. He kept telling me that soon we'd be together. That come January, we'd never be apart again.
Our new plan allowed me to spend one last holiday season with my folks, but the day after New Year's, I was flying out to Vermont. To Jasper, and to the Cullens. My parents didn't realize that the acceptance letter they read was forged, and that the college they thought I was starting in the spring didn't really exist. They didn't know that the full academic grant I received just wasn't possible. I'm not sure if they'll ever find out either, because not six months later, I will have reportedly crashed and burned in a newly purchased car while driving on some backroad for a short visit to Forks.
It was a strange sensation plotting your own fake death. A death that will destroy two people you love beyond measure. I felt like a villain, an evil culprit who was bringing immeasurable pain to people who didn't deserve it. Instead of plotting my death, I was plotting their demise. I don't know how I'm going to live with myself after all is said and done, but I know Jasper will help me move forward.
I glanced down and looked at my watch.
It's been 86 days and 14 hours since the last time I saw Jasper, and I now found myself trekking through the woods to the spot where I had my first real conversation with my soul mate. I wanted to take a walk down memory lane and re-experience that moment. I needed to see that specific time and space flash before my eyes so I could briefly smile a true, genuine smile. So I could feel all that much closer to my soldier. Because what I really needed I couldn't have, at least not yet. I just needed Jasper, solid and before me, but for now I would have to settle for reminiscing.
And I did. When I walked around and through and under and over the dense trees and foliage of the snow-laced forest, I finally came upon the narrow, black-watered stream that was once again frozen over along the edges. And it still flowed with a barely detectable current. Given the direction the school was in, I knew the fallen tree was up ahead, and when I eventually came upon it, I jumped up and sat down on that same thick log. I could practically see Jasper casually leaning against the exact tree as before with his gaze intently on me, and his tawny locks escaping over his intense eyes. I could almost feel his strong presence beside me as he recounted all his days of death and immortal wars. And it was all gloriously calming and peaceful to have him so near to me when he was so far away. Soon Jasper, soon.
I continued to sit there for a while, relishing in the past and imagining the future. I had a sudden urge to call Jasper and tell him where I was and what I was doing. I knew it would put a smile on his face as he too recalled our time together, but when I grabbed my phone, I noticed I had no reception this far out from civilization. Just as well, I suppose. Jasper wouldn't be too thrilled with the idea of me being this deep in the woods all alone, no matter how many times I've done it before, and I knew I should get home anyway. I needed to soak in as much time with my parents as possible since I only had a few more weeks with them, and my dad was going to be home early today.
As I jumped down from my perch and began walking back, I looked at my watch again and sighed. It's been 86 days and now 15 hours since the last time I saw Jasper, and the first thing I was going to do when I got home was call him.
I was about a quarter of the way there when I started to get this creepy tingle crawling down my spine, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I paused in my steps and my eyes searched cautiously around me. I could just about feel something watching me, and in my stillness, I noticed the forest around me had also adapted a silence. There were no birds chirping above and no rustling of limbs and leaves from small wood creatures. The air surrounding me seemed to grow in a strange static charge, an energy that you could almost taste. A tension fell over the area and wrapped itself around the silence, practically covering it, and trepidation consumed me as a stinging anticipation coursed through my blood.
My eyes were still searching for something, anything, that could cause this feeling within me and affect the atmosphere of the forest so drastically. I knew that in the ways of the wild, I was the prey and would almost never stand a chance against whatever I faced, but what could make the wild cower as if they were the prey? And would I really be able to feel an animal's presence as it stalked me? I didn't think so, and I had never heard of such a thing before, and that made me extremely nervous.
So I made a rash, split-second decision and bolted. I ran as fast as my legs could take me, and it wasn't long before I felt that burning ache in my side from pushing myself too far too soon. But still I ran, and still I felt the eyes on me, and still I felt the charge in the air. And suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a white streak followed by a red blur that I knew did not belong to the natural surroundings, and I realized that this is what I felt watching me. And it became obvious to me as I continued running and continued to still catch fleeting glimpses of it, that yes, this thing was stalking me. This thing that could make the wild, instinctual world around me quail and scatter in either fright or respect, but either way, I knew I was screwed.
My fear and adrenaline increased with each passing second, and I could feel the stirrings of my power coming forth. I prayed and hoped as I ran that my telekinesis would prove, just this once, to truly be a power and not just an annoyance. That maybe it could somehow save me from whatever was hunting me. But just as I was thinking that, a crushing force trampled down on me from behind, and as I fell face-first to the ground, a searing pain ripped forth from my neck and momentary darkness consumed me. But not for long. No, I wasn't that lucky.
I could feel the life being pulled out of me. I could feel my bones grinding together and crumbling into tiny particles beneath the grip this thing had on me. I could feel sharp teeth unmercifully digging in and out of my flesh. I could feel every painfully broken bone over my entire body that was caused by this thing pouncing on me. And as I realized I was going to die, I could feel my heart breaking with such an incredible magnitude. There were so many things left I still wanted to do but would never be able to.
As my heart constricted in despair, I felt my mind tighten and pound with the panic and sorrow I was experiencing. Then astonishingly, unexpectedly, my attack ceased.
I no longer felt the teeth or the pressure from this thing, and I had to briefly wonder if it was because I had already died. But when I became aware once again of my aching, mutilated body and the slight burn that was growing around my neck, I knew I was still alive.
I continued to lie there as I contemplated my next move. I had no idea why the thing stopped, but I needed to leave desperately while I still could. That was the problem though. I didn't think I could move, much less walk away. Too many injuries and broken bones. So I just stayed down and remained still, but that burning sensation continued to spread across my chest and shoulders, making me think I was being deeply stabbed by a thousand thick needles at once while having peroxide poured over the fresh wounds. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, and it was growing in its' intensity.
Soon the burn engulfed all my senses, and all I could think or focus on was the scorching tide that was ripping it's way through my body and meticulously simmering my insides in a slow, decimating boil. Ragged flames were inching their way through my veins, and I had to wonder if this was the beginning of purgatory or the end of my road.
I eventually screamed out my agony as it increased, and as I twisted my body and tried to turn my limbs and chest inward to somehow escape the pain, I found myself lying partially on my back. It wasn't that I actually acknowledged what position I was in. No, I was too consumed in death's fingers pulling me through my persecution in a plagued and anguished pit of hell. But I realized I was suddenly staring up at an extremely beautiful, extremely pale, women with glowing red hair and eyes to match. And she was looking at me in mass wonder, and if I perceived correctly in my split second analysis, greed.
I immediately knew she was a vampire, and almost instantly comprehended that she was the thing that attacked me. But I automatically understood just how fucked I was, because I knew there was no way I was going to survive this. Not a vampire attack. So I closed my eyes and waited.
It's been 86 days and…however long since the last time I saw Jasper, and I'd never get to see him again. I never got to say goodbye.
Author's Note:
So, what do ya think? Review and let me know. Oh, and like I mentioned earlier, this will be the last time jump in my story. From here on out, it will be day-to-day writings.
