Jagged Little Pill
Jake scrolled down his inbox. Funny how some new-fangled system comes out with all the junk from the last one, times twenty, he thought. And I don't even have a paper shredder to watch it get slashed into oblivion! He straightened himself up, cracked his knuckles, and grabbed furiously at the mouse, carpal tunnel be damned.
Very important citizen needs money transferred to Azerbaijani bank account. CLICK.
I will decapitate you and cut up your body if you don't pass on this letter! CLICK.
Man interested in adult liaison. CLICK and REPORT.
New Swedish pill, guaranteed to improve love life! CLI-"Well..."
Jake ran around the house like a cokehead chugging Go-Go Juice, his heart pounding wildly. He did double takes in all directions, even ones that he never thought possible. The uncontrollable urge inside him was too strong to be satisfied, yet too restricting as to allow him to proceed to the second floor. Something, anything would do. Then he spied the living room couch.
Quinn felt the tremors beneath her on the staircase. "Is it me or is something wrong with this room?"
Daria looked back at her, then closed her eyes. "Not anymore." A few more steps later, she wished she had kept them that way.
"JAKE!" screamed Helen to the kneeling, bottomless figure besides the furniture, "what do you think you're doing?!"
He reciprocated the stare in pure embarrassment, then hurriedly pulled up his trousers, as his two daughters raced each other for the shower.
"Uh, that's why they call it the 'love seat', right?"
