Chapter Seven
Inquisitor Trevelyan
{-Cullen-}
Cullen had collapsed into his desk chair. He had returned to his quarters after his sparring match with Ellaina, completely exhausted. He had underestimated her strength in the beginning and he had lost because of it. He laughed at himself for being so foolish. He should have known by the definition in her muscles. It's not like I didn't just see her naked. She was incredibly sculpted. Not only that but she was able to pin me just using her abdominal and leg muscles. I should have known better. Cullen was sore to say the least. His shield arm ached from blocking her blows and his head was pulsing from the release of his Templar skills. He had never used them without lyrium. Frankly, he was surprised he still could. He wasn't exactly the strongest Templar in the ranks.
Cullen tried to stand from his desk chair, but his muscles burned in protest. He decided that he would sit and relax for a bit before trying to get up. He let his thoughts drift, and, as usual, the ended up on Ellaina. Seeing her in front of him in that armor of hers. She was damned intimidating, that was for sure. Cullen wasn't sure he'd ever seen someone wield a sword twice his or her size with the kind of grace she did. Let alone look fragile and terrifying at the same time. He didn't expect to see her in the practice yard so soon after calling the war council. I guess she needed a stress release after all the information we thrust at her. Maybe we should be more careful. Cullen thought about how to talk to Leliana and Josephine about doing just that, but he thought better of it. If Ellaina needed more time she would have taken it. No one made her go to the war council. She called it herself.
Cullen mentally chastised himself for not having more faith in Ellaina. He knew what she was capable of and, as she had said herself, she was stronger than she had been before Adamant. Her combat skills prove that much. Cullen rubbed his shoulder, trying to ease the tension that had taken hold there. It was difficult to get any kind of relaxing done with his armor still on. Just as he was thinking about removing it he heard a knock at his door.
"Enter." He said, sounding a little weaker than he intended.
The door opened to reveal Ellaina in her casual outfit. Cullen took a moment to appreciate how her leather trousers hugged her, perfectly accentuating the curve of her hips and her muscular thighs. The white muslin tunic she wore was loose fitting, the arms rested just over her shoulders revealing her neck and collarbones, and Cullen could see the definition of her muscles through the fabric.
"I thought I'd find you here." Ellaina said with a small smile that almost instantly turned into a worried frown. "Are you alright?"
"Just a little sore is all." Cullen said trying not to sound as exhausted as he felt.
"I'm sorry. I went to hard on you didn't I?" The worry in her expression had spread to her brows now as they wrinkled.
"No it's fine. It's just been a while since I've gone up against an opponent with any semblance of skill." Cullen chuckled and then winced.
"Come on. I'll help you get out of your armor."
"I'm alright, really."
"Don't try to argue with me. I've made up my mind."
Cullen sighed in defeat as he allowed her to remove his bulky armor piece by piece. He would have been aroused if it weren't for the overwhelming exhaustion, however, with his armor off, he didn't feel as sore as earlier.
"When was the last time you ate? You're pale."
"When we were at the pond."
"Cullen that was this morning! Come on. I'm taking you to the kitchens."
Before he could protest Ellaina had slung his arm around her and was pulling him up from his chair. Everything in him screamed in protest. He groaned much louder than he had intended as he felt for certain he would faint. Ellaina held up his entire weight as she brought him to his feet, giving him a moment to adjust to the new altitude. Cullen's vision blurred and the room spun, but after a moment it passed.
"Are you alright?" He wasn't doing a very good job at keeping her from worrying.
"I'll make it."
Without another word they headed out the door to his office across the arch overlooking the courtyard toward Solas's office. After making it into the great hall Ellaina helped him into a chair and ran toward the kitchens. Onlookers, who had been chatting wildly before the couple entered, were now silent or speaking in hushed tones. Varric, who had been pouring over a pile of paperwork, walked over. The dwarf's brow was furrowed as he took the seat across from Cullen. Great, this is the last thing I need.
"You doing ok Curly?" Varric asked.
"I'm fine thanks." Cullen replied.
Varric chuckled, "Yeah, I'll believe that when your face isn't twisted and pale. Not making our Inquisitor worry too much I hope."
Just as the dwarf was winding up for another ridiculing statement Cullen heard her footsteps. The boots she wore made a distinct sound as she walked across the tiles.
"Speak of the devil." Varric made a move to get up.
"Hello, Varric." Ellaina smiled at him and he plopped back into his seat. It was as if she had commanded him to stay with her smile. She had that effect on people.
"Hello Inquisitor."
"I've told you not to be so formal, Varric. You can call me Ellaina." She replied as she set two plates of food on the table.
Cullen felt the headache inching it's way into his temples and he clasped a hand over his eyes to rub his temples. He had hoped no one would notice, but Ellaina always noticed.
"Here, drink this. Before it gets worse. You'll thank me later."
Ellaina rested her hand on his shoulder as she handed him a glass of what looked like water, but it certainly didn't smell like water. Cullen knew better to ask questions in the presence of all these people. He trusted her and drank. To his surprise the drink was laced with honey elfroot extract, and some herb he couldn't quite make out. His headache faded and he breathed a sigh of relief. Maker, I love this woman. Cullen blushed at the thought. He hadn't told her that face to face. Maybe it was time he finally did.
"Better?"
"Much, thank you."
"Good. You still need to eat." She squeezed his shoulder and turned her attention to Varric. "I need a favor Varric, well two actually."
Varric almost spat his drink in surprise. It wasn't often that Ellaina asked favors. "What kind of favors are we talking about?"
"Well, I had hoped that you would accompany me to Halamshiral at the end of the week. I might be in need of your," Ellaina cleared her throat before continuing, "skills."
"Sure. Now you said you had two favors."
"You aren't going to like this one."
"Oh boy."
"I need you to get Bianca to share all the research information she has on red lyrium with Dagna."
"And why should I do that. You know that shit is evil."
Cullen was wondering the same thing. Ellaina already knew that red lyrium had the Blight. What else could she want to know about it?
"This is something I really need you to trust me on Varric."
"I'm gonna need a little bit more to go on here, Princess." Varric's reply was dripping with sarcasm.
Ellaina looked nervous now. Cullen had a feeling she had hoped not to be forced into an explanation in front of the two of them. "Dagna and I are trying to find a way to kill the blight that lives in it in hopes of freeing the Red Templars under its control."
It was Cullen's turned to be surprised. Had he not finished his food and drink he was certain it would have been all over Varric's face by now. He knew Ellaina was distressed about the Red Templars, but he never thought she would go as far as to try and cure them.
"Are you out of your mind?" Varric was furious now. "You know there's no cure for the Blight! Besides, those red bastards pledged themselves to Corypheus, or did you forget that?"
"No I haven't forgotten, but just like the Templars here there is dissent amongst their ranks. Some are beyond hope, but I've seen more than my share of those who are forced into that pledge. Samson's power got to his head and he forced it upon innocent Templars with addictions. It's not their-"
"There's no such thing as an innocent Templar, Ellaina!" Varric cut her off before she could finish. Realizing what he had said the dwarf's expression immediately changed from rage to sorrow. "Ellaina I'm so sorry…"
Ellaina stood with such a force that the chair that had been behind her practically flew across the room. She loomed over the dwarf, fists clenched at her sides.
"Oh you're sorry are you? Why don't you start proving how sorry you are by asking forgiveness of your Commander, or do I need to remind you that he was once a Templar? After you're done with that, why don't you go and meet Ser Barris in the barracks, a Templar, without whom the Inquisition's army would have been crippled after the most recent events of Adamant. Then you can travel to Starkhaven and speak to my father and he can take you to my elder brother's grave along with the graves of all the other Templars who died or were killed when the Starkhaven Circle exploded. After you've paid penance to all of them you can come back here and apologize to me, a Templar who has faith in those who see how the Order and the Chantry have used their faith as a weapon against them. Then maybe I'll accept your apology." Ellaina, who had been crying while she screamed, turned on her heel, walked to her chambers, and slammed the door behind her.
"Well, shit." Varric sighed.
"You have no idea what she's been through, Varric." It was taking everything Cullen had in him not to lose control. The thunderstorm had retreated, but the energy left behind tingled on his skin.
"We all know what happened at Adamant. I was with you!"
"That's not what I'm talking about so calm down."
"What are you on about, Curly?"
Cullen sighed and shook his head. "I can't, no I won't, tell you without her permission. If she wants it known she'll let it be known."
"You've completely lost me."
"Don't worry about it. You might want to distance yourself from her for a few days. At least until we all head to Halamshiral. I'll go try to calm her down."
"Do you think you even can?" Varric looked worried. "I mean, I know if anyone can it's you, but do you really think it's a good idea to go in there right now?"
"Despite what you might think she's more hurt than angry. Don't worry about me, I can handle her."
"Good luck, Curly. Let me know when she doesn't want to kill me anymore."
"I will. Until then, if I were you, I'd keep to myself."
"Can do. Years of hiding from the Seeker should come in handy."
Cullen nodded, stood up collecting the dishes still on the table, and headed toward the kitchens. His jaw clenched as he noticed all the people who were staring at him. Tongues will be wagging soon. Cullen deposited the dishes in their respective bins and made his way back out to the door to Ellaina's quarters. The guards he had posted to guard there gave him worried glances as he entered her antechamber. As soon as the door was open Cullen could hear her crying. He took a deep breath, climbed the stairs to her room, and knocked gently on her door.
"Go away!" her voice was strained from tears.
"It's me my love."
"I don't want you to see me like this. Not again. Not right now."
Cullen cracked open the door. "I'm going to come in anyway. I've made up my mind." When he wasn't met with any objection he opened the door wide and entered.
She was lying on her bed; face down into a mountain of pillows, her body shaking from sobs. She refused to look up at him even after he had sat next to her and started rubbing her back. Once she had calmed somewhat she lifted her head from the pillow. Her face was red, puffy, and tear stained. Hurt and anger burned in her eyes as new tears welled there, threatening to spill over. Cullen pulled her into his embrace and she sobbed again, soaking his shirt with her tears.
Cullen didn't know how much time had passed before she was too weak to cry any more. Emotion had stolen all the strength from her and she had fallen asleep against his chest. He decided to stay with her until she woke. He glanced over at her desk were the paperwork was neatly organized aside from the mountain of crumpled papers that littered the surrounding floor. Curious, he walked toward it to see what she was working on. He saw her report on the events of Starkhaven was beside her inkwell as if she had been staring at it for weeks. He turned his attention to the pile of parchment cluttering the center of her desk, and he picked up the parchment at the top of the pile. As he read a frown made its way across his lips.
Dear Inquisitor,
We have sent several missives to you Ambassador, but none of them seem to have reached you. So we are sending this courier to you directly. Your father wishes a meeting with you. He asks that you meet him at the cafe in Val Royeaux on the last day of the month. Please send a courier and your reply within the week.
Sincerely,
Camden Adair
Liaison to House Trevelyan
Cullen mulled over the letter curious as to why Ellaina hadn't told him about it. He knew that she and her father weren't exactly on the best of terms, but certainly she could go and meet the man. However, the letter itself was rather suspicious. The penmanship was sloppy, there was no embossing on the parchment, and why had a liaison written it? Why couldn't Bann Trevelyan write it himself? Come to think of it, Josephine hadn't mentioned anything about a letter for Ellaina the entire time she was recovering, or Cullen would have seen to it himself. Something isn't right. Deciding to investigate later, Cullen replaced the letter on Ellaina's desk.
Ellaina stirred. Cullen crossed the short distance from her desk to her bed. He could tell by her jerky movements and the sweat on her brow that she was having a nightmare.
"Let me go. Let me go! Bryanne! NO!" Ellaina woke with a start and immediately started crying again.
"It's alright my love. It was just a dream. You aren't back there." Cullen wrapped her up and spoke softly into her hair.
"Why? Why Bryanne? My little sister is dead and it's all my fault."
"It isn't your fault Ellaina."
"Then whose fault is it? I couldn't protect her! Not even with all my strength. I was too weak to protect the one thing in the world I cared about most."
"If it weren't for your strength you wouldn't have made it out alive. The Maker has his reasons."
"Don't give me that bullshit." Ellaina turned her angry eyes on him. Her expression softened when she met his worried gaze. "I'm so sorry. I never should have brought all this on you. My life is a wreck and it's no one's fault but my own."
Cullen reached down and tilted her chin until she met his gaze again. "Ellaina, my love, look at me. You are the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, let alone calling my own. You haven't built this Inquisition from the ground by being weak, or having a shambled life. This is your life now. All those people who flock to your banner? They believe in you. They believe in your cause. The fact that you aren't perfect is what makes you such a good leader. If you were perfect this Inquisition would not have become half the organization it has. By the Maker woman you were willing to sacrifice yourself to save a brigade of complete strangers. You fought an Archdemon alone and lived. Then after that epic battle you led us here to Skyhold. You freed the Grey Wardens from Corypheus's control and then gave them a second chance. Not many people could have done that, myself included. As if that wasn't enough you've taken me, a broken man, a shadow of what I once was and taught me that love still exists. You are fair, just, and fiercely loyal. Your life is not a mess and it's certainly not over. It is just beginning and I will be there every step of the way. No matter what comes. I love you, Ellaina."
Her tears had subsided and she gave him a weak smile. "I love you too, Cullen. If you still believe in me I must be doing something right."
"You have to stop letting guilt tear you apart, or it will consume you, and it will make you an angry person. Believe me, that's not the kind of person I want to see you become."
"I won't. I promise."
"Good. Do you think you can forgive Varric?"
"I…" Ellaina looked at her hands. "I'll try."
"If you can't forgive him, then maybe it's time you let him in on your secret. Might as well tell the others while you're at it."
"I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"They need to know Ellaina. You need to make them understand."
Ellaina leaned her head against his chest and pondered for a moment before sighing and nodding. "Alright. Have everyone meet me in the war room tomorrow morning."
{-Ellaina-}
The next morning the war room was quiet after Leliana had given her report. Ellaina was greeted by looks of shock and confusion. She'd asked Leliana to give the report in her place in order to keep emotions at bay. Still, sadness poured out of her eyes without permission. Everyone was staring at her so she quickly dried her tears. Silence had befallen the room, as no one seemed to have anything to say.
Varric was the first to speak. "Ellaina, I had no idea. There's nothing I can say that will explain how sorry I am."
"The illustrious Varric Tethras is rendered speechless? Even I'm surprised by that." Bull piped up. "I guess you were a badass long before we met huh Asaaranda?"
"I wouldn't call being unable to save my sister being a badass." Ellaina replied.
"Yeah I guess you're right, sorry boss."
"I'm still confused. Why was I unable to detect that you were a Templar?" Cassandra wore a puzzled expression.
"I think I have an explanation for that." Solas replied.
"Enlighten us then please. I'm still not certain myself." Ellaina said.
"When you the Conclave exploded you were in the Fade correct? In the Nightmare's lair?"
"Yes."
"Well it is possible that, along with your conscious memories, the Nightmare stole parts of your subconscious. Thus severing your connection to your Templar abilities."
"That coupled with the fact I hadn't taken lyrium in ten years…" Ellaina paused to ponder. "I suppose it makes sense."
"You are puzzling indeed Inquisitor. There are very few Templars who are able to use their abilities without the use of lyrium. However, most of them are not very powerful, but you, you destroyed an entire Circle. Where exactly do the Templar abilities come from if not lyrium?" Solas was studying her.
"If you ever figure that out Solas you let me know."
"So if you didn't need the lyrium before is it possible for you to use your abilities without it now?" Cullen seemed as though he too was deep in thought.
"Honestly, I'm not sure."
"Something to explore at a later time. I can't have two withdrawing Templars under my watch." Cassandra shot an apologetic look at Cullen.
"This has all been very educational, but we have other matters to attend as well." Leliana cut the conversation short. "The ball at the Winter Palace is tomorrow. Who are you planning to take with you Inquisitor?"
"Well, I had a party in mind. My skeletons are out of the closet now, and I don't know how your opinions about me have changed after learning all of this. However, Varric, Cassandra, Dorian, as well as my illustrious advisors I would be honored to have all of you at my side when we journey to Halamshiral. If you'll have me."
All of the people in the war room responded by giving her a heartfelt salute.
"I know I speak for all of us here when I say we will follow you to the ends of the earth and back if you ask us to."
"Thank you all." Ellaina's voice caught in her throat as her emotions spilled over yet again.
