It was hard not to feel a sense of profound satisfaction making Dumbledore subtly pay for the crap he put him through the first time around.
He still couldn't figure out if the man was an asshole with a god complex, an overly complicated chessmaster, or just an idiot.
Either way, Dumbledore had to feel some of the pain he put him through with those stupid tests.
At least this time around he had more of the teachers on his side.
Snape tolerated him, Hooch and Filch loved him, Hagrid was singing his praises because this time he got to keep Norbert, and Pince subtly directed him to some of the more interesting books for upgrading her collection and giving her a bigger budget to repair the books they already had by professionals.
Pomphrey was one of many teachers over the moon with the extra help. She never had to deal with the awkward discussions with young wizards discovering their hormones. The new medi-wizard on staff dealt with it.
And only magic knew what sort of changes would be made when he returned next year. Thanks to the audit, Quirrel had been busted early and the Unspeakables discreetly dragged him off pretending to be aurors.
So he got to enjoy his 'first' year in peace, with an altered group around him.
Percy (in place of Ron), Hermione, Neville, Blaise and the twins.
Harry nodded to himself in satisfaction.
With Percy's presence, Ron had no desire to try and "buddy up" to him. Fred and George had made a reluctant sort of truce with their stuck up brother, with the agreement that he help them recreate the map.
Though they had to admit, it was hilarious to see McGonagall twitch as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, because they hadn't done anything outside small scale pranks since Harry had his talk with them.
Dumbledore was slightly distracted, but was still able to give the last announcements.
Gryffindor was able to win, but only by the skin of it's teeth. Five measly points was all that kept Slytherin from keeping the house cup.
Snape might have cared, but he was enjoying McGonagall's twitching far too much to give more than a snide comment.
Harry had told him to have fun tweaking McGonagall's tail.
Two weeks later...
Percy shivered. Dementors were horrible creatures, but they were thankfully contained to a point. He made a point to stick very close to "Prongs" that Harry had so helpfully casted. "Jack" was currently perched on Harry's shoulder.
"Prisoner number 107. Case number?" asked Harry.
Percy looked at his now ever-present clipboard. It was a trial one given to all junior auditors or rookies. You had to work up to the metal ones with the customizable backing.
Harry had a rather shiny metal clipboard with a changing backing. On the clip itself was the Potter and Black family crests.
Once he rattled off the case number, Harry hummed in his throat before confirming the conviction. He stamped the box next to the listing before moving on.
"Next the high security wing."
Percy shivered.
He was practically hugging Prongs.
They waited a few minutes for the stag to chase off the Dementors so they could get to work.
"We just need to finish this before we confirm that all the graves from the past twenty years are who they say they are."
"Why do we need to do that?"
"Because as long as there's someone in the cell, the dementors don't care. And polyjuice would keep anyone from realizing if someone was switched out. So we use the charm to confirm if the magical signature matches the one registered with the apparition license. Be glad we didn't have to hunt those down."
"And if the signature doesn't match?"
"Then we mark down whose grave it was and look at the visitor's log to see who visited the prisoner. After that it's the problem of the DMLE. It shouldn't take more than twenty minutes and then we're done."
Percy shivered, but was thrilled that it was almost over.
On the plus side, he would only receive minimal hazing for the rest of the summer. And he got to cast magic outside school, because he was interning.
His dad had been thrilled...right up until he found out which department it was for.
At least he didn't have to worry about paying for his school supplies, which meant they could get Ron and Ginny new wands.
"Bellatrix Lestrange. Death Eater and the one who sent the Longbottoms to the long term care ward. A pathetic example of a Black if there ever was one," said Harry in disgust.
"Go to hell, you filthy half-breed!" she shrieked.
Harry did something that really surprised Percy. He reached into the cell and bitch-slapped her. It certainly shut her up. Her look of surprise was rather amusing...had they been anywhere else.
"Look at you. A mad bitch who didn't have the decency to hide the weakness in the bloodline. A Black bows to no one, and yet you whored yourself out to a half blood who didn't even have the decency to come from two magical parents. And lets not forget the fact his mother was little more than a squib and his father a mere muggle," said Harry in disgust.
"LIES!"
Harry's smirk made her shiver in fear.
"An Auditor who does not do his homework before targeting a family is not a very good one at all. You chose the wrong side...cousin," said Harry.
Harry stamped her off and moved on.
"Sirius Black. You're in a sorry state," said Harry. Percy kept silent.
"Harry? What are you doing here?"
"That's Ministry Auditor Harry to you, Black," said Harry coolly. "Percival, the case number."
Percy blinked, before pulling out his clipboard. It took him a few moments before he said flustered "I don't have it."
"What?"
"There's no case number. And I can't seem to find a trial number either."
Harry made a show of looking at his own clipboard, as if searching for the appropriate forms. Seeing that there was no accompanying case or trial number, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
He took out his wand and tapped four times. Several new forms appeared once he removed his wand. He took out a ball point pen.
"What are you doing?" asked Percy.
"Filing a form to send the Revenue people in to find out if anyone filed the appropriate forms for a misuse of power to keep a man in Azkaban illegally for an undisclosed amount of time. They need the work."
With three taps of his wand, the forms were sent off to the appropriate department.
Sirius looked as confused as Percy.
Fifteen minutes later (Harry and Percy had finished their rounds in the high security cells) and Harry's clipboard glowed.
"Well Black, it seems you're in for a bit of luck. Whoever threw you in here didn't throw any of the forms to keep a prisoner in Azkaban without a trial in front the Wizangamot indefinitely. Which means that those lazy Aurors will have to get off their arses and bring you before the tribunal. You'll get your day in court. If you're lucky, you might get out of here permanently."
Hope sparked in his godfather's eyes. He was quick to hide the note Harry had slipped into his hand, unseen by Percy.
"Alright Percy, we're done inside the prison. We just have to deal with the outside and we can leave."
"Thank Merlin," said Percy in relief.
Outside Azkaban...
"Barty Crouch Jr., Death Eater and party to what happened to the Longbottoms. Care to try your luck again Percival?"
Percy used the now well practiced charm. It was rather easy to cast, and so far they confirmed the results three times as was procedure.
However this time, the charm came up negative. He frowned.
"I think I might have miscast it."
Harry frowned, before casting it himself and tapping the paper.
"No, I think you did it right. Hold on."
Harry took off his badge and pressed it against the grave, before pressing it against the copy of the license that they had on hand. The badge didn't light up.
"It seems we might have a case of mistaken identity. Barty Crouch Junior might not be dead after all."
Harry pulled out his clipboard and pen.
"Huh. Well good news is that whoever did this had the brain to file the forms. Which means it's out of our hands, unless they forgot to file other forms for another crime."
"There's a form to take prisoners out of Azkaban and leave another person here?"
"Percival, there's a form for damn near everything. How else are we supposed to keep the politicians and other morons in line?" said Harry chidingly. Percy ducked his head embarrassed.
"Don't worry Percy. You're still an intern. You'll catch on before you're officially hired," said Harry kindly. "Now let's finish up so we can get off this Magic-forsaken rock."
Percy nodded emphatically.
Sirius looked at the note, and a cold grin formed on his face.
"Padfoot, if you're reading this you're no doubt confused beyond belief and wondering what the hell is going on.
Well, wonder no more.
Thanks to the stupidity of Dumbledore and the fact that the politicians are idiots, I was hired into the Audit department roughly twelve years from now as the Department Prankster. If you aren't aware of what that is, the 'Department Prankster' is a position in which someone with a sense of humor, or someone with a legacy known for being pranksters is hired to keep the department from becoming too boring...and fill out the same paperwork as everyone else.
I find the expressions of pure bloods when I show up to deliver the notice they're being investigated funny. Watching them dance to my tune while squirming because they're afraid I'll levy Merlin-knows-what sort of until-now unused taxes up close and personal rather satisfying. Especially the darker families and those that annoy me.
So don't worry. You'll be getting your day in court and opening up Crouch to a rather unpleasant visit from the Aurors later. I happen to know one of his darker secrets and I fully intend to make him pay for throwing you in here, since no one filed the paperwork for it.
Magic bless the bureaucratic process,
Prongs Jr."
The cold laughter of Sirius Black could be heard all over the high security wing.
He never thought of using the system itself against those that kept him in this hell! And the idea of getting Crouch back was really making his day.
Marauders never forgot.
Merlin, she hated bureaucrats. Thanks to a long overdue census of Azkaban, a gross miscarriage of justice had been revealed.
Sirius Black had been locked up without even a mockery of a trial. Not even the paperwork to bypass the trial had been filed (which was the main thing the bureaucrats were up in arms about).
Which meant it was up to her to clean up the mess her predecessors left.
And it was a mess.
Fortunately the Auditor and his intern had confirmed the rest of the prisoners were there for a legitimate reason, leaving Black the only anomaly.
The problem was that everyone thought Black was guilty.
Fortunately the Revenue department was 'nice' enough to put those that might throw up a fuss on their own radar, meaning they would be too busy dealing with them to notice the long-overdue trial.
Personally she hoped Black was guilty, because if he was innocent it meant an entirely new headache to deal with.
At least the worst of the bureaucrats had hired a new 'department prankster', which made dealing with them much easier.
She didn't get why the Auditors had such a strange position, but at least it kept them from pushing forms that seemed ridiculous to the extreme. Like expense forms for toilet paper and soap.
In the depths of the Auditing department...
"What's the story you gave your relatives?" asked Blake, the head of the Auditing department.
"Officially I'm interning for the summer for one of the Ministries. They know to be vague about which one, just that it involves a lot of numbers."
"Is that why you've been sleeping in the employee rest areas for the past week?"
Harry smirked.
"I've been living out of there because I've been busy catching up on the filing for when the Minister does something to annoy me to the point I declare a Ministry-wide Audit. Besides, as the one in charge of the Crouch file, I'm going to need to get back into the swing of things once the DMLE gets off it's arse and files charged against him for forgetting to file the forms to keep Black in Azkaban indefinitely. Unfortunately for him, I happen to know something he would definitely prefer to keep quiet."
"And the fact our rest areas are comparable to five-star magical hotels..."
"Bonus. No way in hell am I living out of that ratty little bedroom, never mind that I've made my relatives more tolerable with an allowance every month. Besides, this gives me access to the floo network so my intern can get a leg up after graduation."
"The fact you already filed the forms to keep your animagus form and that you can apparate successfully without having to file your magical signature until you're sixteen..."
"Also bonus. Plus I get a front row seat when people find out Black is actually innocent."
"Just remember to get out and about."
"I still have to get my school supplies. Does that count?"
"Not really."
"Guess I could always 'happen' to visit the Lovegoods or something."
