Chapter Seven

There were times -, not many, but a few – when Elena was glad her parents ignored her. As she stealthily filled her flask with liquor, it struck her that this might be one of them. Their disregard made it easy to sneak off and do things like this.

She settled back in her place on the lawn chair among her friends and drank. The bitter, pungent taste of the vodka filled her mouth and brought a smile to her lips. The alcohol made her feel comfortable, more comfortable than she had felt all day. Loving the autonomy of the drink, she tentatively let go of herself a bit at a time, her eyes surveying the scenery before her.

Her backyard was hazy with smoke and heavy with the smell of grilled meat. The grey stone walls that sectioned her backyard from the neighbors were draped in congratulatory banners. Banal classical music blared from the speakers, but could scarcely be heard above the roar of animated conversation, and the clangor of china plates and cups.

It was only two hours into the congratulation barbecue that was being thrown for her brother and Damon, and already guests were starting to show wear and tear. Esther, the host, was spouting boring drivel to anyone who would listen, while simultaneously guarding the liquor table with hawk eyes. Down here on the lawn chairs, there was no one to stop Elena from drinking herself into a stupor and she loved it.

It was pure freedom. Freedom of the basest kind, and she reveled in it. Emptying the flask full of rum with a huge unladylike swallow, she lifted her head to stare longingly into the direction of Damon, her heart heavy with the crushing weight of her expectations.

She'd known it was foolish to anticipate anything, but still she had. And while she hadn't been expecting much, she certainly hadn't expected this. They were like known strangers, and what was worst was that he was close enough to reach but far enough to miss.

They hadn't spoke. They had simply smiled with insincerity at one another in acknowledgement at the graduation. And now hours later, still nothing, and it was killing her. And try as she might, she couldn't seem to temper the sting of rejection.

"You're doing it again," Caroline hissed warningly, stirring her from her reverie.

"Doing what?" She wasn't completely playing dumb. Her brain was sluggish from the liquor and actively trying to play catch up to the conversation unfurling around her.

"Staring!" Caroline said in a loud, slightly petulant voice, her eyes rife with accusation.

"Am not" She denied, a flush rising in her cheeks.

"What is the deal with you and Damon?"

"There is no deal" Elena responded weakly, her gaze flitting to Bonnie instinctively. Bonnie was the only one who knew all the gory details when it came to her and Damon; she hadn't told Caroline for fear of how she might judge her.

"Then why do you keep staring at him, especially when you're with his brother!"

"I wasn't staring Caroline I-"

"Yes you were Elena I saw you! What are you thinking? Stefan is your boyfriend and my best friend" Caroline railed; making sure Elena understood the gravity of her words.

"Seriously Care its nothing, I was just looking, chill" Elena attempted to laugh it off, hoping Caroline would take the bait.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I think I'm just PMSING or something," Caroline said after a few moments of silence, her anger fading into annoyance.

But that wasn't completely the truth, Caroline knew exactly where her ire stemmed from. It had nothing to do with Elena and everything to do with the fact that she was in love with Stefan, always had been, and always would be. She was invisible to him though, especially compared to Elena. Guys never went for her. No matter what she did or how she tried to stand out, they always picked Elena, even though Elena never even tried. She on the other hand, she tried so hard but she was never the one.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Bonnie quipped belligerently, her green eyes flashing with contempt.

At her words Elena stared wide-eyed into the direction of her stepsister Rebekah. Immediately, she bit back the urge to cry, a familiar sense of dread washing over her. She knew the feeling all too well, resented it too, but she also knew it was inevitable. Rebekah always made her feel like this, small, impossibly, microscopically, small.

She was everything she wasn't, blonde, beautiful, and privileged. Rebekah was exceptional at everything, manners, decorum, and her grades, synchronized swimming, synchronized skating. She had graduated school valedictorian, won prom queen, graduated college magna cum laude; she was disgustingly perfect and the apple of her parent's eyes. Rebekah Mikaelson could do no wrong, and Elena had spent a large part of her life being compared to her.

"Why can't you be more like your sister?"

"Rebekah graduated top of her class"

"Rebekah volunteered to work at the homeless shelter"

"Rebekah is such a nice girl"

Blah blah fucking BLAH! Elena had heard it all over the years, and now that her sister was back she was sure she'd have more to add to the list of reasons why Rebekah was perfect.

"Great, the prodigal daughter returns" Elena mumbled bitingly, her jealousy evident.

"Yeah what's she doing here? I thought she was out somewhere finding a cure for cancer," Caroline agreed sardonically.

"I don't know. But its only one way to find out" Elena stood up. Swallowing against the lump that had welled in her throat, she dreadfully trekked the distance from where she stood to Rebekah.

"Hey Rebekah" Elena stated conversationally, a faux smile creasing her lips, as she resisted the urge to give into the bitterness that gripped her.

"Elenaaaa! Oh my god is that you? Come here" Rebekah enveloped her with a crushing hug, a familiar tension coursing through her.

"Nice to see you too, how have you been?" Elena managed a stilted response.

"Great! I've just been so busy lately, with moving back and all"

"You're moving back here?" Elena almost shouted her query, a hint of a sneer ghosting over her lips.

"Yup, and making the transition has been so hectic" Rebekah didn't notice the look of pure agony on her stepsisters face; instead she prattled on, heedlessly.

"Rebekah Darling, where have you been? I've looked everywhere for you. Come, I have someone I want you to meet"

Elena felt her face harden at the sudden intrusion of her stepmother. "Nice to see you too Esther" she said through stiff lips, rankled that her stepmother hadn't even bothered to acknowledge her presence.

"Oh hi Elena', I just need to borrow her for a second"

"Whatever" Elena muttered scathingly. Coldness passed through her as she silently watched her stepmother and sister walk off laughing. She would never fit in with them, never laugh with them, and never be good enough for them. It was a harsh realization that she learned to accept a long time ago. Still, it didn't' stop her from missing her own mother, from wishing that she was still alive to reassure her that everything was going to be Ok.

Elena hugged herself consolingly, her curious gaze still on Rebekah. Her stepsister was talking to the Salvatore's. Why the hell was Rebekah talking to Damon's parents? And more importantly why had Esther wanted them to meet? It made no sense. Esther wasn't even friends with the Salvatore's to her knowledge.

Enraptured, she watched as her sister unerringly charmed the Salvatore's. She smiled and talked with an ease borne of years practice, nodding at all the right times, saying all the right things, undoubtedly winning them over.

A tightness gripped Elena's chest at the thought, this wasn't supposed to be happening. Rebekah wasn't supposed to be the one that the Salvatore's liked, it was supposed to be her. She was the one who might hopefully be a part of their family one-day, not her sister.

And just when Elena thought it couldn't get any worst, it did. Damon joined the group, and his parents quickly introduced him to Rebekah. They shook hands lingeringly, their eyes fastened to one another, coy smiles shadowing their lips. They were obviously interested in one another. Elena resisted the urge to cry, her mind silent. Her heart felt like it would beat right out of her chest, and she couldn't seem to ignore the sharp ache in her chest, or the way her stomach had dropped.

This couldn't be happening. This was just a really fucked up dream that she would wake up from right? Because there was no way that fate could be this cruel.

Rebekah was everything she wasn't and she didn't stand a chance against her. She was Damon's age, smart, beautiful, and his type. He had even said as much a couple of years ago.

" What can I say I like my women blonde, of age and preferably sober? All of which you are not."

The cutting words echoed through her mind repeatedly, growing harsher with each repeat. They stung so fucking bad, and cut so deep that she wasn't sure the invisible wound they had caused would ever heal.

This wasn't fair. It just wasn't fucking fair. Why did Rebekah get him? She was the one who had lost everything, the one who had loved him for all those years, not little miss fucking perfect. Why did she always have to come up short? Why did life hate her so much?

Strangling back a sob, she felt her chest rise and fall rapidly. She wasn't going to cry. Not like this, not in front of all these people. Sniffling, she turned and ran into the house, not bothering to stop until she reached her bed.

Flinging herself onto her mattress, she buried her face into a mountain of pillows and released the sob she'd been holding back, a torrent of tears following in its wake.

Her tears turned into a combination of tears, and before she knew it she was no longer just crying about Damon but also crying about everything in general. She cried for her mother, for her struggle with sobriety, for the hollowing ache she felt every time she realized her stepmother and father didn't give a damn about her. She cried until her head hurt and it seemed like there was nothing left in her to give.

Acceptance slowly seeped into her, her tears gradually subsiding. Crying wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't bring her mom back, wouldn't magically cure her from her addiction -it wouldn't do anything. She also couldn't mourn the loss of something she had never had. Damon wasn't hers; he didn't belong to her no matter how much she wanted him to. He was just an obsession, an infatuation, a question she needed answered, but he wasn't hers.

Sitting up slowly, she wiped the hot tears from her face, and rubbed her eyes, trying to wash away all evidence of her crying.

A soft knock sounded at her door, jarring her from her ministrations. Stiffening, she couldn't help but to resent the intrusion.

"Who is it?" She called out quietly.

"Its me Elena" Bonnie responded.

"Come in" Elena straightened on the bed, and flipped the wet pillows over so that the stains weren't visible.

"Oh my god are you ok? I just saw Damon and Rebekah" Bonnie rushed over to her, blanketing her with a tight hug.

"I'm fine" –" Elena's voice trembled as she blinked back tears.

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine-"

"Liar" Bonnie negated, her eyes full of the concern she was feeling.

Elena laughed wryly, shaking her head in disbelief " I feel so stupid. I just- I really thought things would be different. That I had a shot."

"You're not stupid"

"Yes. I am. I'm just a stupid addict, with a stupid school girl crush"

"Elena stop" Bonnie reprimanded firmly, she reached out to smooth away some of the skeins of wet hair sticking to Elena's face " Don't do this to yourself. I don't ever wanna hear you talk about yourself like that again you hear me?"

When Elena didn't bother with a response, she reached out to squeeze her hand softly " You're not stupid. You're the smartest person I know. And wanting to believe in something or someone doesn't make you stupid either it makes you strong. You're not afraid to put yourself out there, not afraid of getting hurt. I wish—I wish that I had half the courage you do"

Elena couldn't help but to softly cry at her friend's words. Bonnie always knew what to say, she always knew how to be there for her in away that was comforting but not overbearing. She never passed judgment never made her feel bad; she was just there for her. Her quiet comfort was exactly the reason that Elena felt closer to her, and more comfortable with telling her things than Caroline.

"Thanks Bon, I love you" She hugged her tightly.

"Eww heifer you're getting snot all over my new shirt" Bonnie laughed.

Giggling, Elena buried her face into her shirt even more and acted like she was wiping snot into her shirt. Shrieking, Bonnie twisted and pulled away trying to escape.

"I thought you looooooved me," Elena crooned in a high-pitched voice.

"About as much as I love chlamydia"

"That's right you did get that didn't you?" Elena joked, causing Bonnie to playfully punch her in the arm.

"Smart ass"

"Tramp"

"Slut"

"Trollop"

"Floozy"

"Ass licker"

"Poster child for gonorrhea"

"Ass face"

"Trollop"

"HA! You already said that one, I win" Bonnie grinned triumphantly.

Elena laughed and stood to her feet, walking over to the full-length mirror in her room, appraising her appearance.

"Oh god. I look awful. Why didn't you tell me?" She was petrified at the little black rivers of mascara that splotched down her cheeks, and her unruly hair.

"You don't look that bad, you just need to redo your make up" Bonnie advised, idly playing with Elena's teddy bear.

"What for? Damon's got Rebekah now"

"Please! They just met all of five seconds ago. If you wanted, you could still take him from her"

"Are we conveniently forgetting about my boyfriend Stefan? Even if I wanted to take him from her, which I doubt I could, I'm still technically with his brother"

"I know I know. And trust me I feel bad for Stefan but honestly what you're doing to him now isn't any better either. You're leading him on, holding him back from someone that might care about him just as much as he cares about them" Bonnie counseled.

Guilt washed over her, Bonnie was right. What she was doing to Stefan was incredibly selfish and hurtful. But selfishness was apart of who she was, it was one of her greatest flaws. She didn't like it and she certainly didn't absolve herself from it, she just couldn't help it sometimes. It was instinctive. Sometimes she just did stupid shit without thinking, selfish stuff, and then later on reality would set in and by then it would already be too late. Just like Stefan. She hadn't intentionally set after him; she had just wanted to be close to him, so that by extension she could be close to Damon as well. But life had a way of doing things on its own.

Stefan had fell for her, hard. And for a year straight she had avoided his advances, remained friends. But eventually she had caved under the pressure of everyone else's expectations. Everyone constantly told her how good her and Stefan would be together, constantly advised her to just give him a chance, and soon it got to be to the point where she felt like she was just prolonging the inevitable and she gave in.

She loved Stefan though, really she did. She just wasn't in love with him. That part of herself had been long reserved for someone else. Her heart had extended an invitation to Damon a long time ago and hadn't rescinded it since. Every part of her that she was capable of giving belonged to him. He inhabited her in a way that Stefan never could. And the truth was, you just couldn't force something that didn't fit. She couldn't make herself love Stefan.

It was wrong, but she was so deeply in that she didn't know how to begin to get her out. Now, there was no way to get out of this without someone getting hurt. And she just couldn't bring herself to hurt someone who had never done anything to her but loved her.

"This whole situation is just a mess. "Elena finally responded after a few long moments of silence.

"I know but I still think you should follow your heart"

"Well my heart just met someone else, so there goes that" Elena grumbled sullenly.

"Wait. I have an idea!" Bonnie exclaimed jumping up and rushing over to the dresser. Jerking open the drawers, she wildly sifted through clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"If we want you to stand out you have to stand out" Bonnie issued cryptically.

"Ok." Elena trailed " Vague much?"

" What I'm saying is that you need to change out of that boring outfit and put on something a little more eye-catching"

"I seriously doubt an outfit is going to change anything"

"Well we don't know that yet, try this" Bonnie flung a dress at her.

Holding the sheer flimsy material against her frame, Elena visibly cringed. " Are you kidding me? Esther would burn me at the stake"

"Exactly! Its like killing two birds with one stone, Not only are you gonna get Damon's attention but you also get a chance to piss off your step monster too"

"I don't know, Esther-"

"Fuck Esther ok? All she does is try and make you feel bad. No matter what you do, she'll always find an excuse to make you feel bad"

"I know, I know, it's just that things have been going so smooth lately and I don't wanna rock the boat"

"You heard your father today. Even though you didn't do anything wrong he still found a reason to talk shit. It's what they do Elena. So you might as well give them something to talk about".

Elena felt the fight in her drain completely. Her friend was right. No more playing possum, it was time to stop self-deprecating and fight back.

With a renewed sense of courage she stripped out of her clothes and slid into the nude colored raiment, marveling at how good it looked against her olive skin. It was shocking, and scandalous, just the right ingredient to stir things up.

"My parents are gonna freak" She laughed with wicked delight, loving how bad her friend could be at times.

"I know right. Esther's probably gonna start foaming at the mouth"

"I know"

"Come on, I can't wait to see this" Bonnie japed mischievously.

The two girls giggled and laughed their way downstairs and out into the backyard, both anxious to see what reactions the dress would garner.

Dusk had emerged, and night was quickly approaching. The gentle breeze that passed through the air felt good and cool against their skins. Basking in the fresh country air, Elena laughed at the thinly veiled looks of shock she was receiving from people.

She barely made it into the backyard before Esther was walking up to her, her face mottled with fury.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She wasted no time with her accusation.

"What do you mean?"

"What" Esther snarled while pointing a stiff finger at Elena's dress " Is this? Are you trying to embarrass me"?

"What do you mean?" Elena played dumb.

"You go in that house right this instant and change into something more suitable. "

"You can't tell me what to do. You're not my mother"

"Thank god for that, at least you're not my embarrassment" Esther groused coldly, walking off angrily.

"What a bitch" Bonnie scoffed incredulously.

Elena didn't respond. She was still struggling to process her stepmother's venomous words. She had definitely hit below the belt with her comment. And even though Elena should be used to it by now, it still stung just a little bit.

"I'm going for a beer," She announced, needing something else to cushion the blows.

She didn't bother to wait for Bonnie's response before walking off; she needed to be alone for a few minutes. Angrily, she stomped into the air-conditioned kitchen, swinging open the fridge in search of a beer.

Procuring a miller lite, she used something to open the beer, before taking a long swig. The cold tangy liquid rushed through her, feeling good against her throat.

"A little underage for that aren't we jailbait?" Damon's familiar voice called out behind her. At the sound of his voice, her heart stuttered and butterflies swam through her stomach. She could feel the hackles on the back of her neck rise, and the goose bumps sheeting her skin.

Taking a much-needed breath, she turned slowly to offer some equally witty reply but the sight of standing there, larger than life, stole her voice.

He wore a light blue shirt that seemed to make the lightness in his eyes icier than she remembered. His messy black hair slightly curled around his forehead and a dark shadow dusted along his jaw. He looked older but nonetheless still sexy.

His lips quirked into a smile as he noticed her staring and she found herself licking her lips in response.

It was so easy to think of what she would say to him when he wasn't around. Looking at him now though, she could scarcely remember anything but the way his fingers had felt inside of her, the harshness of his breath in her ear when he had-

"See something you like," He said pointedly, when she just stared.

The dry amusement she heard in his voice snapped her out of her gaze and made her face heat up. Crossing her arms, she frowned at her unwelcome guest, and remembered that he hadn't spoke to her all day.

"What are you doing in here"?

"Well hello to you too"

She flushed at the lack of her manners "I'm sorry" she muttered "Now what are you doing in here".

"Getting a beer. That alright with you?" He said simply, annoyance coating his voice.

Suddenly she felt stupid at her lack of finesse. She was being ridiculous, and acting every bit the woman scorned. Damon didn't owe her anything and she had no right to be upset.

"Fine with me" She responded bitterly, unable to control herself.

"Good"

"Great"

"Well now that we've established that, back to my question what are you doing with that," He gestured towards her bottle, swallowing a mouthful of beer.

"Whatever I want. Gonna tell your girlfriend on me?"

"My girlfriend" He laughed "And who would that be exactly?"

"Rebekah" She nearly snarled the word.

"Rebekah isn't my girlfriend I just met her"

"Whatever, it's none of my business" She responded in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone, leaning against the counter.

He didn't respond, instead he just drank in silence, his eyes watching her intently, making her uncomfortable. She felt exposed in her nude dress, like he could see clear into her soul, and right past her barriers.

"See something you like " She mimicked, determined to break his gaze.

"You just look different that's all."

"Different how?"

"I don't know. Just… Different"

"Different in a bad way or different in a good way?" She asked, and as soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to get them back. God. She hated how desperate she sounded, like she was eager for his approval or something.

"Good different" He responded with a smirk.

"Thanks".

Elena fell into silence again, not really sure what to say now. The attention she had once craved from him was now an anchor around her neck. She didn't know what to say to him, or how to be around him. Things were awkward.

"Soo." He trailed awkwardly, " How you been jailbait?"

"Great" She squeaked in a small voice, clearing her throat before speaking again " Things have been great. School's great. Life is great. You?"

Fuck. Had she seriously just used the word great three times in a sentence? He probably thought she was an idiot. Real smooth Elena.

"I'm good. Just glad to finally be done with this school shit."

"I hear ya. School sucks"

"Tell me about it." He laughed causing her heart to skip a beat. He was so beautiful, so effortlessly beautiful.

"Elena. There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Did you get my texts?" Stefan's worried tone interrupted.

Elena turned to see him entering the kitchen from the backyard, his face smiling warmly at her.

"Sorry. My phones dead" She mumbled, shifting to see Damon's reaction.

Damon was mystified, like he was wondering how they knew one another.

"What's up" Stefan greeted his brother with a hug" Congratulations again man," He murmured sincerely before walking over to Elena and giving her a long searing kiss.

At the contact of his lips Elena's eyes flew wide open as she weirdly participated in the kiss, her gaze flying to Damon.

Shit.

Icy cold blue eyes stared unbelievingly at her, a hint of a sneer creasing his lips.

Damn, she was in serious trouble.


Fucking finally! Lol. I have been trying to write an update to this story for a MONTH! a freaking MONTH! but finally it flowed. So thank you all for your patience. It's been so hectic with everything. I'm on break though and currently unemployed so I've got more time to focus on writing. Once again thanks for your patience and I hope you all enjoy the update. I tried to weed out all the errors but I'm tired so I may have missed a few, forgive me!