7—The Man in the Mirror

When Adora woke after ten hours, the Doctor said, "Well then, I'll be on my way."

Adora was astonished. "You're leaving me here?"

"Oh, I won't leave the city. I'm just going to . . . well . . . give you some space."

Adora studied his face carefully. "What do you mean, space?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I think you'll heal quicker if I'm not always on the scene. Not that you can't have me come visit if you want; I'd always be available . . ."

"Aren't you going to be my doctor?" Poking your nose into everything? she thought.

"Actually, no, not unless I'm needed to clarify your needs as a Gallifreyan."

Suddenly Adora felt nervous. She had resigned herself to the fact that the Doctor would be micro-managing her case so he could keep her under his thumb, but this . . . this was unexpected. "Where will you go?" she asked suspiciously, but with a bit of unease.

"Like I said, I won't leave the city. I'll probably see what parts I can find for my TARDIS, maybe do a complete overhaul, but I won't leave without you. That's a promise, Adora. I can visit; I'll set up something so you can get in touch with me." He patted her hand, then withdrew quietly.

After a few minutes, Doctor Brikk entered the room and said, "Adora, I'd like you to come with me so you can meet your treatment team and make some decisions on how you want your stay here to go. Unless you want to shower?"

Adora thought, then said, "I'd rather hear what you're going to do with me first."

"A lot of that is going to depend on you, what you think will help most. There's a few non-negotiables, but we want you to have control over your care. You know you best, after all."

They walked down to a conference room with a view of the city and the other treatment spheres of the hospital. She was surprised by the size of her treatment team; there was Doctor Brikk, her psychiatrist; another doctor for her physical ailments, two nurses, a social worker, a massage therapist, an activity aide, a nutritionist and a therapist. She was a little intimidated, but tried not to show it too much. After introductions were made, Doctor Brikk told her, "Now, we need you to decide what part of the hospital you want to live in while you're here. Some parts will be restricted, of course . . ."

Adora was taken aback. "I can choose?"

The therapist, a silicon-based creature that looked like a column of crystal, answered through an electronic translator. "We want you somewhere you'll be comfortable and able to focus on getting well. The obvious choice is the Psych Bubble . . ."

"No," Adora said firmly. "I'm not crazy."

"Just a regular private room in one of the other med Bubbles?" the octopus social worker suggested.

Adora shook her head. She wanted to be somewhere with people like her, people that didn't matter, ones who wouldn't want to chatter at her or stare . . . "I want to go to the Hospice Bubble. I want to go to a place where everyone knows it's over, just like it is for me."

Several of the team members looked at her with concern, but Doctor Brikk told her, "That's fine, Adora. We'll set up a room for you there. Now we have to talk to you about some things you won't be able to choose. You need to take in a certain, set amount of nutrition several times a day. For now this will be in liquid form, but after a bit we can start you on some solids. You and the nutritionist can talk about flavors you would prefer, but you must take in the sustenance as directed. You will also be weighed on a daily basis, but at first we don't want you knowing what that weight is. We don't want you focused on a number; we want you focused on how your body feels. One other thing—before you go to your room we have to perform a special test, one that can't be done by a scan or equipment. We'll do that right after this meeting, actually. It won't take long, but it's very important. You'll need to have a staff there when the test is administered, but you don't need to talk to them or interact with them if you don't want to. Do you understand?"

Adora nodded, but wondered about the "special" test. What could they possibly check for without scanners or equipment? Was it a special scale, a blood test, what?

"Who would you like to accompany you to the test, Adora?" Doctor Brikk asked.

"I think . . . I think one of the nurses."

The female humanoid nurse said, "I'll be happy to assist you, Adora. First, though, there are some preparations."

Adora was so very curious. "What preparations?"

"This test can't be properly done in a gown or regular clothes. You can be nude or wear well-fitting underclothes, your choice. You also have to put your hair up."

"Can . . . can I wear panties?"

The nurse nodded. "We'll find you some. Let's get you to the testing room . . . it's in the Psych Bubble, but we don't have to stay there long."

Adora followed the nurse to the Psych Bubble, then came to a black door near the middle of the Bubble. She and the nurse entered, and the nurse handed her some underwear. Once she was in the panties and her hair was braided up and piled on her head the nurse told Adora, "I want you to open the door to your right, and then step forward. Take as much time as you need."

Adora squared her shoulders and stepped into the next room.

What she saw there was a complete surprise. The room was small, but well-lit so she could see clearly. In front of her was a set of three full-length mirrors set in angles so Adora could see herself from both sides, the front, and the back. She shivered, then began to shake as she examined herself. Her arms were sticks, her ribs could easily be seen . . . in fact, her whole body was nothing more than a skeleton hiding in skin and thin, weak muscles. Her cheeks were hollow, her eyes sunken; she was little more than a shell of who she had been. She only lasted a moment or two before she crumpled into a heap in front of the mirrors, sobbing. Had she really come to this? Is that all that was left of her? She'd always been strong, prided herself on the fact. Now she was barely more than a corpse. No wonder they had all stared . . .

The nurse came and helped Adora to her feet, saying, "Do you understand why you're here now, Adora?"

Adora took one more glance in the mirrors, then said in a small voice, "I think . . . maybe I should stay in the Psych Bubble after all."

The nurse nodded and led Adora from the room.