A/N: Thanks to everyone that still supports this story. A few people are worried about Rye and his presence will continued to be felt in the rest of the story. You'll just have to wait and see if he turns up to spoil things for this little family.
Chapter 7
I knock on Peeta's door the next day and nervously tap my foot as I wait. I couldn't get Haymitch's words out of my head last night and have run through various different scenarios, each one getting worse than the last.
I hear some thumping and loud shushing behind the door and eventually a high-pitched giggle that could only come from my daughter. I smile, glad she had a good time, and not long after Peeta yanks the door back with an innocent looking grin.
"I'm so sorry, Katniss. But I seem to have lost Ava," he says.
I raise my eyebrow at as I step inside. Peeta can't stop grinning and realise that I am now involved in some game they have made.
"Oh. That's a shame. Where could she be?" I say, playing along.
Peeta leads me through to the living room and I quickly survey the room for any sign of Ava. Eventually my eye lands on a pile of blankets spread out carelessly on the couch. I see the tops of the blankets moving up and down as my daughter struggles to stay still.
"I don't know where she could be. I searched everywhere for her! Maybe she's invisible," Peeta exclaims.
The two of us share a grin and a giggle escapes from underneath the blankets. I make a big show of trying to look for her by ducking to look under tables and flinging back the drapes.
"She's disappeared, Peeta. Maybe she ran off to join the circus," I say.
There is another giggle from the blankets and I smile as I make my way round to the couch.
"I guess we'll just have to sit on the couch and hope she comes back," I say.
I then slowly lower myself down on to the couch, as if I am about to sit on Ava, and she suddenly pops her head up from underneath the blankets.
"I'm here, Mommy! You were about to sit on me," she exclaims.
I fake relief by putting my hand on my chest and sitting down beside her.
"Thank goodness! I was scared I wouldn't get another Ava cuddle," I say.
Ava grins broadly at me and throws her arms around me.
"Lots of cuddles, Mommy," she says. "Did you really not know I was under the blankets?"
Peeta and I share a grin before I turn back to Ava. I gently stroke a piece of hair off her face.
"Not a clue. You are the best at hide and seek," I reply.
Ava grins proudly and then I ask her what she got up to with Peeta last night. She speaks at a hundred miles a minute, and although it is hard to keep up, there is no doubt that she had one of her best times.
Eventually her words run out and Peeta encourages her to go and pack her things. Ava pouts a little and begins to whine but one pointed look from Peeta is enough for her to duck her head and run to the guest bedroom.
The room is silent for a moment after she is gone. Peeta leans against the door frame while I smile slightly awkwardly up at him from the couch.
"It sounds like you had a really good time last night," I say.
Peeta grins and nods his head.
"We had a lot of fun but she has a lot of energy. I'm exhausted!" he exclaims.
I laugh.
"Now you are a true parent," I reply.
We smile at each other and then the room goes silent again. We can just make out Ava chattering in the other room. It sounds like she has got distracted from packing and is playing with her ponies. I should probably go and tell her to hurry up but this gives me time to talk to Peeta. Haymitch's words float into my head again.
"If I asked what you did after you left, would you tell me?" I ask.
Peeta looks a bit taken aback by my question but picks himself off the doorframe to come and sit down beside me.
"I would tell you anything," he says.
"Even if it was bad?" I ask.
"Not much of it was good," Peeta replies.
I nod my head and bite my lip as I contemplate where to start.
"What makes you want to know now?" Peeta asks.
"I spoke to Haymitch last night. He told me about your nightmares. And that you did some crazy stuff to distract yourself from what happened to Ava," I say.
Peeta doesn't look at me as he nods his head and his demeanour grows solemn.
"I'm not proud of it but we've already talked about how I was addicted to the adrenaline rush that came with a job. I quickly learnt that was the easiest way to forget the danger I put Ava in. I threw myself into planning every job and put myself in some dangerous situations," he says.
I nod my head as I brace myself for his revelations.
"Start with the worst thing that you did. Work your way back," I say.
Peeta turns to look at me and the shame shines out of his eyes.
"I once dumped a body in a lake," he states.
I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head.
"But I thought you never kill anyone," I say.
"I didn't. I got into a bit of trouble with a big-time poker player and he needed a favour. I can still feel the weight of the dead man in my hands. The unnerving feeling of a body that doesn't bend. It had been left a few days and it had a strange smell, almost like rotting meat but mixed with a few drops of cheap perfume," he says.
He turns away from me and ducks his head again.
"I didn't ask any questions about who he was. I didn't want to know and just went out to drink myself into oblivion. A couple days later there was a missing person report on the news about a cop who took care of his elderly mother. I always wondered if he was the guy I so carelessly dumped,"
I surprise myself by reaching out to take his hand. Peeta startles at my touch and looks up at me confused. I squeeze his hand and give him a sad smile.
"You're showing remorse now. That shows you're not that person anymore," I say.
Peeta squeezes my hand back and gives me a grateful smile. We sit in peaceful silence for a long time before Peeta takes a deep breath and tells me the rest of the story.
He tells me a story of smuggling cash up his asshole and impersonating members of the police. There are stories of him hiding in sewers to escape crazy casino owners and taking younger siblings hostage to get what they wanted. If it had been written in a book I wouldn't have believed it.
The story weighs heavy on Peeta at the start. His shoulders hunch forward and he can barely look at me but something changes as he goes on. The remorse and regret is clear on his face but admitting it out loud seems to unburden him. His shoulders begin to straighten and he looks at me with more hope.
"So now you know everything about me. Every sordid detail," he finishes.
We sit closer together and my hand still tightly grasps his. I suddenly realise that I have been running my thumb back and forth the top of his hand for the last several minutes. I know that everything he has told me should scare me but for some reason it has the opposite effect. It endears me more to him because I realise just how far he's come since he's come back.
"Thank you for telling me," I say.
Peeta gives me a small smile and my thumb continues to stroke his hand. We're both stuck staring at each other and our heads have gravitated closer together. Peeta sighs as he leans his forehead against mine and I reach out to stroke some of his hair back. When our eyes meet again I see something in Peeta's eyes that I haven't seen in a long time. I can't help but gasp at the sight of it.
"Finished!" Ava declares as she jumps into the room.
Peeta and I spring back and I scramble to get away from him. I rush over to Ava and run my hands over her to check everything is in place.
"Your buttons are done up wrong," I say.
My hands move down to quickly undo and redo her buttons. My cheeks are red and my hands fumble a bit on the tiny buttons but I manage to do them and stand up straight again.
"Say goodbye to your daddy. You'll see him in a couple of days," I say.
I avoid Peeta's stare as he comes over and gives Ava a big hug.
"I had the best time, Daddy," she says.
Peeta smiles but I am already turned to face the door. Ava gives him another hug before slipping her hand in mine and I drag her out of the door.
I do a pretty good job over the next twenty-four hours to keep my thoughts of Peeta to a minimum. I don't even acknowledge the strange moment we had after he told me everything. I stopped loving him a long time ago and it will do no good to bring up old feelings.
However, the following day Peeta becomes the centre of the town's gossip.
"Did you see the news? There has been another bank robbery in Hob," Delly says while in the diner.
"They are lucky no one got killed this time. Though they said the security guard will be lucky if he walks again," Rooba replies.
Delly shakes her head as she stirs the sugar into her coffee. I eye them carefully as I wipe down the counter top.
"Hob is only forty minutes away. It would be easy for Peeta to sneak out and help his brother," Delly adds.
"Don't you ladies have anything better to do than gossip about innocent young men?" Haymitch pipes up.
Delly snaps her attention to him and crosses her arms over her chest.
"Peeta is far from innocent," Delly scoffs. "Just because he dressed up as Santa doesn't mean he's any less a criminal."
I throw down my rag on the counter and march over to Delly. Her eyes widen as I approach and she cowers back slightly.
"Yes, Peeta has broken the law. Many times. But you didn't seem to mind when it kept crime away from this town. It's only now, now that he's trying to start over, meaning he can't protect us in the same way that you bad mouth him," I say angrily.
"A leopard can't change his spots overnight. How can you really know he wasn't there yesterday? It says there were two men. Rye didn't work alone," Delly says.
"Because he was with me and Ava yesterday when the bank robbery happened. So, unless he can be in two places at once, I'm pretty sure he wasn't involved. Why don't you start spreading that bit of gossip around? And better still, why don't you start a rumour that Peeta and I are fucking again. You never care if you get your facts right any way and that's a much juicier story," I spit.
Delly stares at me with wide eyes. I hold her stare for a long moment but spy Haymitch grinning at the side. He raises his mug of Irish coffee and tips it towards me.
"Good to see that fire again, sweetheart," he says. He then pushes the swear jar towards me. "But that's a dollar for the swear jar."
We share a smile as I drop the note into the jar.
I don't see Peeta until the next day. Ava has been desperate to try out her new bike but the roads have been too icy so far. However, the frost is clearing and I can't deny her any longer. Peeta pulls up in front of my parents' house on his motorbike to help with our very enthusiastic daughter.
Ava runs up to him to give a hug. The straps of her ladybird helmet dangle down by the sides of her face and it almost topples off her head as she squeezes him tight.
"Nobody in my class can ride without training wheels. I need to beat Toby!" she declares.
Peeta chuckles as he gently clips the straps of her helmet under her chin.
"I'm not going to leave until you can ride all by yourself," he replies.
Ava grins broadly at him and rushes over to her bike that leans against the wall. Peeta looks up at me with a grin.
"She definitely gets her competitiveness from you. I still remember the time you smashed a vase after losing to Gale at monoloply" he says.
"Gale cheated that day. I'm positive he was sneaking extra money when he thought none of us were looking ," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
Peeta grins at me again and shakes his head. He then walks over to me and bends to whisper in my ear.
"Don't get defensive about it. It used to really turn me on," he says.
I jerk my head round to look at him but he just gives me a cheeky smile and wink before stepping away. I frown as he goes over to Ava. His behaviour these last few days has been verging on flirty. I'm not sure if I'm annoyed by it or eager for more.
The bike wobbles a bit as Ava straddles it and Peeta sticks out his hand to steady her.
"Are you sitting properly on the seat?" he asks.
"Yes, Daddy. Can we hurry up?" Ava replies.
"Okay. I'll keep holding the bike while you put your feet in the pedals. Don't let go of the handlebars," Peeta instructs.
Ava nods and her tongue pokes out as she concentrates on Peeta's instructions. Peeta keeps a tight grip on the saddle and waits patiently for her to get into position. Eventually Ava settles and turns around to look at him impatiently.
"I'm ready, Daddy. Can we go?" she asks.
Peeta nods his head.
"I'm going to keep hold of the saddle for now. But start peddling," he says.
Ava nods her head eagerly and bends forward to start rotating the pedals. It doesn't take long for the bike to start moving and Peeta diligently follows behind her, keeping a tight grip on the saddle. I shout out words of encouragement as the two of them ride up and down the street. Each time Ava gets a bit steadier and her confidence grows.
"Mommy, can you tell Daddy to let me go?" she says after another run.
Peeta lets go of the bike and folds his arms across his chest as he looks at me.
"What do you think, Katniss? Do you think Ava is ready to ride by herself?" he asks with a smile.
I pretend to think long and hard about it.
"I think Ava's getting pretty good. I would let her try," I say.
Ava bounces up and down on the saddle and then turns around to face Peeta.
"I'm ready, Daddy! I can do it myself!" she says confidently.
Peeta grins at her and nods his head.
"Okay. I'll hold onto you to start with. But then I'll let go. I promise," he says.
Ava nods her head eagerly and Peeta bends down to grip the bike again. Ava carefully puts her feet on the pedals and turns back to Peeta.
"Ready!" she declares.
Peeta grins at her with encouragement and soon sets off. I hold my breath as the bike begins to move and Peeta follows behind. When he's sure Ava has her balance, he lets go and stands back to marvel at our daughter. I suck in a breath as she pushes the bike forward for the first time by herself. There is a slight wobble and I get into position to run to her if she falls. But she doesn't. She straightens up and rides forward.
"Yes, Ava! You're doing it all yourself! You're doing amazing!" Peeta shouts.
"You're doing great, bug! Keep going!" I encourage.
Ava shrieks with delight.
"I'm doing it! I'm riding by myself!" she exclaims.
Peeta and I turn to each other with a brief but big grin and then turn back to continue to shout her on. As she approaches the end of the street, Peeta tells her to slow down and she is able to stop herself. Both Peeta and I rush over to her and squeeze her in a massive three person hug.
"I did it! I rode all by myself!" she squeals.
"You were awesome, bug. I'm so proud of you," I reply.
"I think we need to make bike shaped cookies to celebrate," Peeta adds.
Ava grins up at us and wriggles out of our grip.
"I want to do it again," she says, already turning to look back at the road.
Peeta and I chuckle and I stand back as Peeta helps her get started again. Moments later she is off cycling by herself. Peeta and I continue to shout our praises and marvel at how well she is doing.
She doesn't seem to tire riding up and down the street and Peeta and I lean against the wall as we watch her in delight.
"Seeing her achieve things may be the best feeling in the world," Peeta says with a proud smile.
"Better than the adrenaline rush of robbing a bank?" I ask with a grin.
Peeta laughs and blows on his cold hands.
"Maybe," he says. "I heard you defended me yesterday in the diner. You didn't have to do that."
I shrug my shoulder.
"This town has always been bad for gossip. It's not fair of them to blame you for something you are no longer involved in. Plus, I don't want things like that getting back to Ava," I reply.
"Thanks. But we can't keep my past from her forever. We will have to tell her one day," he says.
I nod my head solemnly. Ava will only have more questions about Peeta as she grows up and it won't be easy for her to hear some of things he did. Particularly because she is already beginning to idolise him. But I always knew having him back wouldn't be easy.
"Yes," I say. "But not today."
"Not today," Peeta agrees.
He stuffs his hands in his pockets while I rub my gloved hands together. We're silent as we contemplate the future but then Peeta turns to me with a grin.
"Oh and I hear we're sleeping together again? That was a nice surprise," he says.
I roll my eyes and thump him on the arm.
"I said that to prove a point. This town doesn't care if the gossip is true. They just love a good story," I reply.
"Cecilia Cotton looked devastated at the thought. I think she may have a crush on me," Peeta says, stroking his chin.
"She's fifteen. Might be just breaking the law a little bit," I say.
Peeta laughs.
"Thankfully I'm not into that shit. Though I have to commend her for her excellent choice in first crush," he replies.
"How do you know you were her first?" I say with a grin.
Peeta smiles back at me but we're are interrupted by a short scream and crash. Both of us snap our heads towards Ava and my heart starts racing. Ava lies on the ground, with the bike on top of her and she whimpers underneath it.
We both rush over to her and Peeta quickly picks the bike off her while I bend down and help her to sit up.
"What hurts, sweetie?" I ask urgently.
I run my hands over her but there seems to be no obvious cuts and bruises.
"My hand," Ava sniffles.
Peeta crouches down beside us and reaches out to stroke away some of her tears. Ava sticks out her hand and I gently cradle it in my own.
"It's okay, honey. We're here for you now," Peeta says.
Ava sniffles loudly as I examine her hand.
"Can you move it, sweetie?" I ask.
Ava tries but screams as she tries to bend her wrist back.
"It really hurts, Mommy," she whimpers.
She rests her head against my shoulder and Peeta and I share a concerned look.
"We'll take you to the hospital. They'll make it better," Peeta says.
Ava nods her head and sniffs loudly as I let Peeta scoop her up in his arms. She snuggles into his chest and I quickly dash inside to get the keys to my car.
I zoom along the streets of Seam until I get to the emergency department just outside of town. Peeta rushes inside with Ava while I park the car and then we have to wait for a while to be seen. Peeta distracts Ava with silly stories about trolls and unicorns and I keep Ava on my lap, stroking her hair and making sure nothing happens to injure the wrist further. Eventually we are seen and the doctor suggests she has an x-ray. Peeta paces up and down the waiting room while they take her away.
"I shouldn't have taken my eye off her. This is my fault," he says.
I shake my head as I get up and rub soothing circles on his back.
"Kids fall over all the time. We couldn't have stopped it. It's part of growing up," I say.
"But what if she's broken her wrist? I'm a terrible parent," he replies.
He ducks his head and then looks pained towards the x-ray room.
"Then Ava will have a bright pink cast that she can show off at school on Monday. That thought is probably exciting her right now. She will be fine," I say.
Peeta looks back at me and nods his head. I give him a reassuring smile before pulling him in for a hug. He grips me tightly and I don't know if he will ever let go.
He does when the doctor comes back and takes us back to Ava. I rush to her side and place a kiss on top of her head. She looks a lot happier and the tears have long since stopped. Peeta stands right in front of the doctor, his arms crossed and wanting answers.
"The good news is that it isn't broken. Just a sprain," the doctor says with a smile.
Peeta lets out an obvious sigh of relief and lets his arms hang by his side.
"What can you do to help it?" Peeta asks.
"Rest the wrist for the next couple of days. We'll give Ava a bandage to compress it but the wrist should be fine within a week," he replies.
Peeta thanks the doctor but Ava frowns.
"So I don't get a cast?" she asks.
"Not today," the doctor replies kindly.
Ava huffs and leans furthers back into the pillows.
"I wanted one for all my friends to write on," she says.
I catch Peeta's eye and we grin. Sometimes our daughter is very predictable.
We leave the hospital and Ava uses all our guilt to convince us to get a MacDonald's and milkshake. Even back at home she makes us run around for her and forces us to read countless stories. Eventually she lets out a big yawn and snuggles back into her pillows, with Peeta and I either side of her. The way Peeta's arm is wrapped around her means that his thumb skims the area of my skin where my shirt has ridden up.
"I think it's time you went to sleep, bug," I say, stroking her hair.
She yawns again and her eyes struggle to stay open.
"Can you sing to me, Mommy. It helps me get to sleep," she says.
"Of course," I say, bending down to place a kiss on top of her head.
Peeta grins across at me and then I fix my eyes on our daughter. I open my mouth to sing softly.
Deep in the meadow
Under the willow
Ava's eyes begin to flutter almost immediately and she is asleep before the end of the second verse. But I still sing the whole song and smile fondly at her after I've finished. I bend down to give her one last kiss and Peeta does the same, making sure that her toy goat is secure in her arms. We both get up and tiptoe out the room.
Once out in the hallway, Peeta turns to me with a look of awe.
"You're still an amazing singer," he says to me with a soft smile.
I smile back at him as I shrug my shoulders.
"I don't really get much opportunity now. Just singing lullabies to Ava," I say.
"That seems a shame. You used to rock the karaoke at the bar," he says with a grin.
"You weren't that bad either. I still remember how you got the whole bar singing Sex on Fire with you," I reply.
Peeta laughs and then scratches the back of his neck.
"Oh God. I had forgotten about that night. Though if I remember correctly, you got very drunk and gave me a strip tease in the back of my car. One of the best nights of my life," he says with a grin.
I thump him on the arm but he catches my hand as I pull it away and cradles it in his own. Suddenly all the air seems to be sucked out of me and I'm stuck staring into his piercing blue eyes. They hold me there and become soft yet serious. His thumb begins to run across my knuckles.
"I didn't think I was still in love with you until I came back," he states.
