AN: SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND KILL ME! ok so senior year is upon me and my computer is still crashed but I will try to keep this updated once a week. As for this chapter its short but I will put another one up today I hope! Enjoy!
"He stole it from me, Sokka!" I cried in horror.
"Stole what?"
"My first kiss, he stole it! He stole everything! I was so useless, Sokka! It's so unfair, I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself, my parents were right, I really am helpless!" I sobbed. "It's so unfair, why did it have to happen to me? Why, why why!?" I half cried half yelled. I jerked away from him and pressed my fists into my eyes. "What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand. I can't get away from him, no matter what I do! I wash and I still smell him, I can still hear him, feel him!" I cruled in on myself and bawled. Somehow, despite all the turmoil swirling in my head, I felt like this was a breaking point. Depending on what happened in the next few minutes, I would either break and spiral into insanity, or I would begin to heal. "None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be married and in love, Sokka! I was saving myself for my husband, not some random man! Who's going to want me now? I'm worthless, dirty, poisoned! No one will want me, I-I'm not pure anymore." I buried my faces in my arms and let the sobs tear through me. I felt him gather me into his arms and pull me into his lap. "It's not fair."
"No, it's not fair. It's so unfair, Toph," he whispered. He held me tight, managing to still my shaking body until I was only quivering. "This isnt your fault, you did nothing wrong. There was nothing you could do. And someday you'll find a man that understands and loves you and wont care what that coward did to you, because he'll love you for who you are."
Maybe Sokka was right...maybe there was someone out there who wouldn't mind being with someone who was assaulted so brutally. Maybe it really wasn't my fault and maybe there was nothing I could do. "Do you really think so?" I sniffled.
"Of course I do. I wouldn't lie to you. And as far as I'm concerned, that wasn't your first kiss, it doesn't count. At all. And you're not helpless. I've seen you handle whole platoons of men three times as big as you, and you were only twelve! Heck, I saw you cream a whole group of the best Earth Rumble fighters single-handedly. If that's helpless, I don't even want to know what I am." It was quiet except for my sniffles and hiccups. "You'll heal from this, it'll get easier with time and it won't hurt so bad. I'm going to be right here beside you the whole time. And so will Katara, Aang and Zuko. We all support you and love you. You're my best friend, Toph, and by Oma and Shu, I'm not going to abandon you."
I sniffled and rubbed my nose. "Thankyou, Sokka. You don't know how much that means to me."
"Come on, let's get you inside, you're freezing." He stood up and held a hand out to me. His rough, calloused hand wrapped around mine and he took me inside. "You, know," I said sniffing "there's a family over turtle-ducks over there," I said pointing to a far corner. "I think we should come out and feed them tomorrow."
"I think that's a fine idea," he smiled. Sokka and I crept through the huge halls and he made sure I was inside my room before he left to bed.
I slept well that night and awoke feeling refreshed despite being jerked awake by Iroh walking noisily into my room. At least I wasnt awoken by the hot sun on my face like I was the last time he decided to take care of my wake up call. "It is a beautiful morning, Toph! I brought us ginseng tea this morning, I thought you might like to try it," he said happily.
"Why not?" I mumbled as I sat up. I was immediately nauseated and I ran into the bathroom spouting apologies as I went.
"Don't worry, Toph. I went through the same thing with my wife when she was pregnant with Lu Ten. Ah, the beauty of pregnancy," I heard him sigh happily. I rolled my eyes.
After our tea Sokka came barging in and swept me off to the courtyard. We sat down at the edge of the pond and Sokka shoved a piece of bread in my hands. I picked off some little bits and tossed them in the water. I heard the little ducklings beaks splash in the water as they plucked up the soggy bread. After a while they all came ashore and I could feel their little webbed feet slapping against the ground.
A faraway screech reached my ears and I tilted my head to cup the sound. "Hey, it's a messenger hawk," Sokka said. I heard the wind rustling through the wings of the bird as he slowed to land on Sokka's arm. He took the letter from its back and sent the hawk back into the skies.
"Who's it from?" I asked.
"Katara and Aang," he said. "I don't know how those hawks do it."
"They probably followed your stench," I joked punching him in the arm. "What's it say?" I asked.
"Katara said they'd love to come and visit. She said she and Aang are bored out of their minds and that she misses the warm weather."
"Well, we should write back and tell them to head on up."
"Alright, let's do that tonight. I was kind of in the shopping mood, do you want to come?" He asked.
"Sure.
"Let's go!" He said happily practically yanking me up from the ground. I sent a pebble careening into the back of his head for being so rough and he apologized. We headed outside of the palace grounds and headed straight for the busy market. It was milling with people from all over, mostly from the Fire Nation, mind you, but I could also hear the accents of people from the Earth Kingdom too. I waited patiently as Sokka scanned over some items at a few stalls. I heard him gasp and his heart beat quicken before he let out a girly scream and grabbed my wrist. He dragged me along behind him, causing me to bump and bounce back and forth between people as I rammed into their shoulders.
"Slow down!" I scolded, but we were apparently already where he wanted to be. "What's so fantastic that you have to beat me to a pulp to get over here?"
"They're selling leather!" He sighed dreamily. "Half off!"
"Wow," I quipped. "Well we better buy it all because we will never see leather again as long as we live!" I cried sarcastically and then jabbed him in the arm.
He acted like he didn't even feel it. "But this means I can make a new boomerang sling!"
"Oh for badger-mole's sake," I grumbled. Sokka was sifting through stacks of "the best leather in the Fire Nation" according to the salesmen. After nearly fifteen minutes he finally picked a few sheets and happily packed them away in his green bag. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards another stall, but this time, he was a little more careful and kept me close to him.
I spent nearly an hour following him around as he oohed and ahhed over everything he saw. His bag began to bulge at the seams and he decided we had better leave before he bought anything else and ripped it.
We had just left the buzzing market when he stopped. "What are you doing, Snoozles?" I asked turning around to him.
"Here, I got you something." Before I could ask what it was or why he had gotten it he placed something cool in my hands.
"What is it?" I asked. I knew it had some stones on it, and upon further inspection I identified them as jade.
"It's an ankle bracelet. I thought since you always go barefoot, you might like some decoration around there."
"That's so nice, thank you," I said giving him a one-armed hug.
"I'll help you put it on when we get back to the palace."
"No, no, I've got this," I said hopping on one foot trying to tie it around my ankle.
He chuckled and I shot him a warning glare. "First of all, you don't even have it untied, and given you can't see the leather knot on it, I don't think you have this one," he smiled putting him arm around my shoulders and herding me back to a walk.
"Oh, alright," I grumbled.
We went to his room and I settled on a chair as I waited for him to lay out all his treasure he had bought. He was going on and on about the great bargains he got and telling me all about the new sling he was going to make for his boomerang. I held my new anklet in one hand and moved my fingers over it, getting a good look at it. I deduced that it was roughly hewn pieces of jade fastened to a leather band. I could feel the very thin pieces of hide that knotted around the pieces of rock and held them securely to the band. I decided I like it quite a lot.
"Here, gimme," he said touching my fingers. I put the anklet in his hand and he knelt down in front of me. "Right or left?" I pushed my right foot towards him and put my elbows on my thighs, waiting. I had to hold back a breath when he touched my leg gingerly. He pushed the bottom of my dress up and over my knee, letting the pad of his fingers drag along my smooth skin. He wrapped his fingers around my ankle tenderly and placed my foot his lap. While he was undoing the knot in the bracelet I had a second to take notice of both out hearts beating rapidly. I couldn't help but wonder why we were acting like this. He skimmed his fingertips over the top of my foot and went about tying the bracelet securely around my ankle.
I found myself feeling…strange when he didn't touch my leg as he pulled my dress back over my knee. I tried to place the feeling but, I was too busy trying to calm my heart back down. "Thanks," I said awkwardly.
"It looks good," he replied back just as nervously. I stood up and smoothed my dress out.
"Where are all these things you bought?" I asked changing the subject. I followed him over to a desk and ran my fingers over the various items he had snagged. He told me about them excitedly. It gave me a few minutes to place that strange feeling. I couldn't help but remember how gentle his touch was and how he left a trail of Goosebumps over my skin. Then I came to a startling conclusion. I regretted that he hadn't touched my leg again when he pulled the hem of my dress down.
"I don't feel so well, I think I'm going to take a nap," I said hurriedly as I practically bolted out of his room, across the hall and into my own. I flopped down on the bed and tried to calm my breathing. I don't know why I was so panicky. Oh wait, Toph! You just discovered that you liked you're best friend touch. And not just liked it but wanted him to do it again! I sighed and tried to deny it and blame it on being pregnant but it was no use when I kept getting the willies just thinking of him massaging my calves when they got sore or rubbing the knots out of my shoulders after a day of earth bending. The meteor bracelet on my arm shook angrily as I thought more and more about this.
I groaned and buried my face in a pillow and denied my feelings over and over again. I knew I didn't like him like him, but he was just so tender and gentle with me, like I was….breakable. I kind of enjoyed it…ok, I'm lying I LOVED it. He had never ever treated me like I was defenseless but just from that little contact we had just a few short minutes ago (or was it hours? I couldn't tell) I could tell he was being careful with me, not wanting to scare me after what happened with Jai Ling. And I appreciated it. A lot.
And so, I finally I decided I would talk him into rubbing out the kinks in my leg muscles. I just wanted to feel that gentleness again, that careful way he treated me.
So I took a nap and hoped that maybe I would just sleep all these new discoveries off but when I awoke, nothing had changed. I actually found myself…nervous about asking him. I knew he would gladly do just about anything for me, but would having him rub down my calves be too weird?
It was dusk when I finally got the courage up to walk over to his room. I raised my knuckles to the heavy wooden door and almost turned around and bolted back to my room but I shoved my nerves aside and knocked anyways. "Oh, hey Toph, you feeling better?" He smiled.
"Yeah," I said rubbing the back of my neck. "So how was your day?" I asked sheepishly.
"It was great, I started on that sling...but I havent really gotten very far...I thought I heard a mole-mouse." I couldn't help but chuckle when I imagined him tearing his room apart trying to find the little vermin.
"So um I was wondering if maybe...well since I'm pregnant...I mean it's mostly from walking- not that I minded! But I was kind of sort of hoping you could- well if you don't want to- what i meant to say is that my muscles are all knotted in my legs and I was hoping you might rub them for me?" I blabbered. He let out a loud laugh and pulled me inside.
"Of course, Toph. Don't even worry about it, I'll have you ship-shape in no time!"
I smiled awkwardly and he steered me to an overstuffed chair and planted me there and told me not to move a muscles. I heard some clattering come from the bathroom. He was back in a matter of minutes. He plopped down cross-legged in front of me. "Ok, so I found some lotions and stuff...you know I figured you would like them, they smell girly and your a girl so... well anyways this one say it's for relaxation, something about aroma therapy, whatever that means. And this one is lavender and this one is-"
"Aroma therapy sounds great, Sokka," I smiled stopping his prattling.
"Ok," he smiled. I heard a cork pop loose and a flowery smell reached my nose almost instantly. He took my left foot in his lap gingerly. With my other foot I could feel his heart fluttering. It started racing when he pushed the hem of my dress up over my knee and up to the middle of my thigh. I felt blood rush to my face and then his hands were on my ankle squeezing gently. I let my head tip forward, hoping my hair would hide my burning cheeks. His fingers were clumsy and awkward at first but I couldn't help but relax into the soft chair as he rubbed my sore feet. I hadn't realized how tender they were until now. He worked his way up my leg slowly until he reached the bottom of my lean calf muscle.
He rubbed circles with his thumbs and kneaded at the knots. He even made sure to rub out the thin muscles on top og my shin. I was red-faced as his calloused fingers glided over my hairless skin. The rough pads may have scratched me if it weren't for the lotion barrier. Twenty glorious minutes later and he put my left leg down and moved to my right. He worked slower and I could feel his cool breath over my skin. My heart thudded something anew at this. He worked tediously around the anklet and then moved up to my calf.
He left a trail over goosebumps as his fingers ghosted over my shins and then worked into the back of my legs. "I think there's a cut here..." he said softly. I could literally feel the heat of his face when he leaned in to take a closer look...except he was lying about there being a cut.
I felt all the muscles in my body freeze when the tip of his nose brush my knee. If I hadn't been so worried about my own adrenaline pulsing through my veins I might have noticed his pounding heart. And then... I panicked. I jumped up and practically tripped over my own feet in my flight for the door. "Thanks Sokka, I feel a lot better now," I breathed heavily and bolted.
"Toph I-" but I cut him off with the closing of his door. I felt so stupid! Why did I run out! Ugh! Wasnt this what I wanted? I dove into my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I don't know... I just wasnt ready yet...not for such loving touches...not yet.
