BPOV.
If I were normal right now I would have ran, ran faster than I had thought possible. I never would have stopped until I reached my undereground oasis. But at the time, I was the furthest thing from normal. It was weird having no feelings, I'd like to say it felt like a part of me was missing but I can't. I recognized a part of me was missing, I recognized I had just thing the one thing that would break me further from the sad pathetic thing I already was. I recognized it all, acknowledged every bit of the situation, but with a total and unbelievably dead mind frame. Nothing I recognized was inconviently attached with bothersome emotions. I even slowed to a walk when I heard dear Alice Cullen crying. It was bizarre, knowing she was dear to me and I was causing her pain but I felt absolutely nothing towards it. Sort of like a human scientist studying cells. They recognize the cells as living things, but other than an intrigued frame of mind, no feelings are attached with the objects of study. I was the scientist and the world was my study.
I fed in an alley when I reached town and made sure to pick a victim with sunglasses. I 'recognized' I'd need them to get anywhere in town. I then recognized that I would normally play my little game, where I turn off my perception of hunger and test myself with humans. But with this new Bella there were no games, I vaguely acknowledged that as a good thing and hailed a cab. The cab driver was in his mid 20's, a strikingly good looking human. Indifferently I realized most Italians were, and directed him to the nearest airport while he talked to me in Italian. I understood everything he said but didn't bother answering, it was pointless. Life was pointless in my current state. Humans only reason to live is to reproduce, but as a vampire we don't reproduce. I guess we control human reproduction. This young man obviously had a flirtatious way with women. He wasn't a jerk, I perceived that right away, he was the man every human girl would love, sensitive and loving. When he fell in love he would give his whole heart. He understood what it meant to be hurt and he would make any girl lucky enough to be with him happy. That, and he would also have as many kids as he could get with his mate. Consequently, when we reached the airport said man became my meal. I was only serving my purpose.
I continued, eating and traveling for the next few months, I lost track when I landed in France. My eyes remained a bright red under my sunglasses, it was exceedingly easy for me to make people perceive things. I never once was even asked for a ticket in recent trips. The trip I was on now was to Italy. I closed my eyes under my glasses and inhaled the wonderful smell of blood that was all around me. I wondered if I could get the pilot to land on a remote island so I can feed. I excersized the thought while I wondered about the extent of my power. I had been too busy either handling my emotions or dealing with them the past years to realize what my gift truly was. When I told Jasper and Alice about it, I merely said I have heightened perceptibility and I can change how others perceive things. I thought my power was so limitless, I've used my power many times since then . I can only change the perceptibility of Humans. Vampires don't use their ability of perception as much as our prey. We were predators, and our instincts used conclusive and belief-based frames of mind, rather than perception. Humans only perceive tables to be brown, or the sky to be blue. Our heightened awareness told us how things really were. It was only in non-conclusive matters that I could change perception. Vampire gifts for example are still not fully understood, by others that is. I knew a vampire gift depended not on who you were as a human, but by a percentage of occurrences of a certain genes in your DNA. I have high occurrence of it, as does Edward and Alice. Our abilities were seen in our human years because of that occurrence. As a vampire, everything is enhanced, including gene occurrences. We have 100,046 chromosomes in our body, as opposed to the human 46. Every vampire displays some significant occurrence of that gene, but if they had very small amounts of it in their human life, their gifts were so subtle even they can't detect it. The type of gene most represented reflects the power you have. Since vampires don't know this, a gift is considered a perception, meaning I can amplify or decrease anothers gift.
The night I realized that was quite 'recognizably' funny. Another vampire approached me in Holland, right after I had fed. He was extremely attracted in me and wanted me to be my mate from the minute he saw me. I attempted to lesson his perception of me so I could leave without much of a fuss, but when I couldn't change the amount of pure love radiating from him I figured it must be true. Having no feelings on the matter, helped when later that night I figured out that I couldn't affect him at all, not because of his destined love for me, but because of the nature of love. I left, instantly; he however had fallen even more in love with me when he realized how devoid I was of feeling. I only let a bit out that night to make mating more enjoyable. I'm aware he'll come back for me, but who cares at this point-
It hit me, my rambling thoughts were cornered against the most irresistible smell in the world, My singer, I realized. But she, my senses told me, was already dead; The faint smell was used almost. I jumped from my seat and turned off my sense of hunger so I would have some level of control. I followed the smell, truly a predator, and came upon a young girl, 14 maybe 15 years. I amplified my perceptive power and asked her whose clothes she was wearing. An over sized sweater, clearly the source of the delectable smell. I knew the answer before she spoke of course. Her mother. I had to have her, the mom that is. I used my perceptive powers and a few questions now and again to find an address. It was in Sicily. Damn, I'd have to go back. My feelingless state even acknowledged being anywhere near the Cullens was ridiculous but I had to have her mother. As soon as the plane landed I caught a cab and fed on the driver after my ride was done. I was beginning to feel like I had been cutting a lot of fares lately. I ran with all my strength to the womans home in the woods. Too close to Alice and Jasper for comfort, but at this point my sense of hunger was insane with its desperation. I found her alone, watering her garden, not even vaguely aware that her death would reach her before her daughter wood.
I let loose my sense of hunger full blast so I would fully enjoy this meal. I grabbed the woman and drank from her neck before she could utter a scream. The blood was so soothing so delectable, as if made just for me. Edward was a brave fool to resist mine, I acknowledged and drank from the womans arms and legs. I hadn't killed her, the blood loss killed her. I would in no way shape or form ruin such an amazing meal by letting it loose its heat.
I was almost finished my meal, the blood already beginning to pollute itself with rigor mortis when I heard a growl behind me. I ignored it. No silly territorial vampire was going to stop me from finishing this meal. My perception telling me the only thing this vampire was mad about was the meal he had lost out on. I soon realized I had jumped to a conclusion, he thought I was the meal, he smelled the blood and wanted to eat me! How juvenile. He was on instinct mode so his cognitive thinking must have given way to his instinctive 'must feed' mind set. I turned around, still not letting him see the womans body and watched as his face froze, instantly becoming sober the topaz colour of a vegetarian returning to his eyes. I tossed the womans corpse at him and smiled sweetly.
"Wanted her did you?" I realized he was shocked without even using my powers. It was evident on his face. I walked over to where I threw the womans body at his feet and drank from her, keeping the last cup of blood in my mouth. I spit it at Edwards feet before I walked passed him.
"Sorry, shes all gone now." And I sauntered off, fast walking at vampire speed for the span of 2 football yards until I was stopped again.
