Hey... when this comes up on your screen is there a HUGE space between this part and the words? There is for me! Anyways... I know there was some trouble for some people to open the last chapter but I hope you all got it afterwards... and I hope there's no problem with this chapter... because here it is, Chapter Seven.
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own One Tree Hill
I really hope you like this chapter (not what happens in it, but the chapter itself!) lol
Michelley P.
Chapter Seven: Hitting The Ground
Brooke hugged herself as she slowly walked around the quad outside of the school. Her whole body was shaking and she realized that she was being pathetic. She was watching. Just to see if he was as miserable as she was. Just to be lucky enough to see him smile or laugh. Maybe even talk to him. She felt the way she was sure they did in movies. When the one you want doesn't want you too. She felt like the girls in the movies who daydreamed over his smile and slowed her pace in the halls when she walked past his locker as he was talking to his friends, just as an opportunity to get to hear his voice, even if it wasn't talking to her.
She shuddered when the reality of the situation hit her again- he wasn't her's anymore. This wasn't like any break up she had experienced before. Of course, normally she was doing the breaking, but it was weird knowing that the reason for the break up was that they felt too much for each other rather than not enough. She felt her chin quiver as he finally emerged into the sunlight from the school doors. He placed his hands on his forehead as a way to block the sun, and then stretched as if he had once again slept through fifth-period algebra. She smiled, and tasted her salty tears in the crooks of her mouth. She didn't want to look at him, because it burned her, but she didn't want to not look at him either. She was terrified that if she even turned away from him for a second, when she turned back he'd be gone.
Another figure appeared at Chase's side, and they chatted as if they were long lost friends. She looked a little way over from her, at Peyton. She was standing in the same position that Brooke was standing in. Tears falling off of her chin. She felt bad for Peyton, but somehow wish that things were as easy for herself as they were for Peyton. Sure, Peyton had to let go of the one person she loved more than anything in the world, just as Brooke was trying to do, if only for a little while, but Peyton had a reason. Lucas was overwhelmingly jealous over Brooke and Chase's relationship that it drive Peyton mad. And Brooke felt bad for that. But at least that was a reason. Chase's reason made no sense to Brooke. They loved each other too much? But she had to wait until she sorted out her feelings for Lucas first. It was that the reason itself didn't make sense. She knew that she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone who still had feelings for someone else. But the timing and even the way Chase had looked at her, it was all off.
It was as though there was something else holding him back. Something he didn't want to admit or even face himself. Brooke walked over and stood next to Peyton. Peyton glanced at her in acknowledgment and then they both just stared at their boys standing on the stairs talking about the latest basketball game.
"Sorry about you and Luke..." Brooke whispered, as if both her and Peyton were too delicate to communicate anymore.
"It's not your fault..." Peyton snapped at first, and Brooke knew that somewhere inside of her she did blame Brooke for the break up, "Sorry about you and Chase..." She completed.
Brooke shrugged and swallowed hard as the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. Peyton stared at her in surprise, "This is unlike you." She said simply.
"What is?" Brooke sniffed.
"This is the part where you walk around with your head high and say you don't need him, that you're better off." Peyton wiped away her own tear and tried to smile at Brooke, but the look on Brooke's face was even more heartbreaking than any break up anyone could ever face. She looked so alone. So lost, so unBrooke. Or maybe it was Brooke, and Chase brought out who she really was. And now he wasn't a part of her anymore, and she looked like everything inside of her had been ripped to shreds and thrown on the ground to be trampled by every single student in this school that was passing by her and starring in disbelief at the tears falling to her toes.
"It was different this time. I love him." Brooke croaked through her heavy tears that she could not get to stop. But in a way though, she hardly tried. Normally she would never want the whole student body to see her so fragile and weak. But this was Chase, not Lucas, or any other boy for that matter. This was Chase, this was different.
"You loved Lucas... didn't you?" Brooke was still staring at Chase and Lucas. Chase and Lucas. Lucas and Chase. Two people that had managed to hurt her more than anyone else in the world. Two people she loved. One person she'd always love. Chase.
"Yeah. And I still do." Brook watched as Peyton flinched, "but Peyton, this just isn't the same. I loved Lucas, I love Lucas, I always will. There is no one that can change that anymore. But, I love Lucas in a way that will never let me stop caring about him. But not in a way that makes me want to be with him. Not in a way that makes it hurt just to look at him. Chase?" Brooke choked. She felt her whole body getting weaker and weaker as small parts of her fell to the ground with each tear, "Chase is everything. I love him in a way that breaks my heart. I love him in a way that makes me not able to spend a second away from him. It's like, I'm stupid. I'm acting stupid! I'm jealous of that weird red-haired-freckle-faced-girl who's locker is next to his because for at least a minute every day she gets to stand next to him. And I can't."
Peyton was awestruck. She wasn't even sure if sometimes she loved Lucas that much. But it was written all over Brooke's entire body that she loved Chase with every fibre of her being. "Brooke... talk to him! If you love him that much don't just let him leave you behind wit no reasonable explanation."
"What am I supposed to do?" Brooke sobbed. She didn't realize she was speaking so loudly. But everyone on the quad turned to stare at her, including Chase and Lucas on the steps. But finally, she didn't care. If this was how Chase would see how heartbroken she was, than fine. "It hurts to look at him! Can you imagine talking to him?" Brooke let out a deep sigh again and stared around the quad.
"Brooke..." She heard his voice fill her ears. She finally heard it. But her eyes were blurred and her pride had been stomped to the ground, "Brooke!" He was running towards her, and she ached all over.
She stared at Peyton, "This. This, is the part where I walk away and act like I don't need him, the part where I hold my head high." And she turned on her heels and walked away in a rush. Chase stopped where he was and placed his hands on his head in frustration. He watched as she walked away. Her head was held high but she was trembling. He did that to her. He told Lucas that he was like him. But he watched as she walked away heartbroken, in the same mess that he had found her in when Lucas did it. She broke up with Lucas, but Lucas hurt her. He broke up with her, and she looked like she'd barely survive without him.
"I'm sorry..." He whispered to the air.
"Who's Brooke?" A familiar voice came behind him. She heard her footsteps, heavy on the ground as approached him. He turned and stared at her. She was beautiful, as always. Her brown hair fell across her shoulders and almost hypnotized him. His heart raced like she always made it do. She was just like Brooke. She had the same dimples and the same incredible body. But her smirk was too mysterious, while Brooke was honest and sweet. He knew exactly what Brooke had gone through with having lingering feelings for Lucas. Because this girl, this was Amanda. And Amanda was the girl who managed to make him have the same lingering feelings. Amanda was the reason that Chase had to leave Brooke behind. Amanda was the girl who had once managed to make Chase feel the same way that Brooke was feeling right now. And Amanda? She was the girl who Brooke had almost wiped from Chase's memory. Until she moved to Tree Hill that was.
Brooke got to the parking lot and stopped. What was she doing? Walking away? She had stood in that same place for so long, wanting him back, and when he came after her she left? The least she could have done was stuck around, got some answers. Or put in her last word. That she loved him. She needed him to know that. She dangled her keys in her hands and debated turning around. Her feet itched the ground and she drew in a deep breath and turned around to go back. She was slow this time, nervous. She wasn't sure what she'd say to him, or how she'd say it. But all she knew was her feet were slowly but surely carrying her back to him, like she knew that always would.
She stood at the edge of the quad and closed her eyes. To try and relax. Opening them, she watched as crowds partnered. Chase's head became visible. Then his arms. His hands. His hands? They were extended outwards and being held loosely by a small, beautiful girl with a mischievous grin. Brooke was sure that she had just practically dissolved into the air. The girl stood on her tippy-toes and kissed Chase's neck. He flinched, but didn't pull away. Brooke stepped closer, close enough for Chase to notice her. He dropped Amanda's hand and stared at Brooke sadly.
"This is the real reason huh?" Brooke snapped.
"It's not like that. I didn't leave you for her." He tried to justify. Brooke's mouth fell open and Chase reached for her. She was crying again, she could feel her cold tears sting into her cheeks. Chase had always had the ability to make her happier than she believed she could be. But she was realizing now that he could make her equally as heartbroken. She looked down to where her hand was dangling and Chase's hand was holding it tight. It tingled and hurt, as if it were burned. She drew it away from him quickly and stared around in disbelief.
"I can't believe this. I came back!" She yelled at him, "You said that it was because we didn't have our feelings sorted out. But you wanted someone else! Dammit!" She clenched her fingers in her hair and squealed quietly through her sobs. "I came back!" She repeated, "I though that if I told you how I felt it'd be okay again." She knew she sounded like a little girl but she was half-way there and she was never the type of girl to back down, "I loved you and you didn't even want me all along?"
Chase shook his head and reached for her, trying to get his words in through her loud sobbing. The crowd that had gathered up was shocked. Brooke Davis had never clung to a guy, she had never let the world know that even if he didn't need her, she needed him. She never let anyone see that she was capable of being hurt just like all of them.
"Brooke! No!" He grabbed her arms and tried to pull her into him. "This is Amanda. She's my ex. Yes! She's the reason I broke up with you. But it was the same situation as you and Lucas. I didn't want to get too involved with you until I put her behind me!" He tried to explain.
"You're not putting her behind you though are you?" Brooke retorted. Then she got quiet and stared at him, "You didn't want to get too involved with me?" She murmured. Amanda was standing behind them with a huge smirk on her face. "I love you. It's a little late to say that you don't want to get too involved isn't it? You're as involved as it gets!"
He couldn't help but smile a little, he felt like asking her to repeat her words. She loved him, she finally said it... "Brooke..." He breathed, a wave of happiness washing through him, "I Lo-"
"Don't!" Brooke yelled. She put her hand up to him to shut him up. "Don't say it! I don't want to hear it anymore!... It's too late." She said quietly. Then once more she walked away from him, leaving him drowning in a puddle of guilt. This time though, she had no intentions of coming back.
Lucas stepped in next to Chase and gave him a glare, "I thought you said you weren't me?" And he too walked away from Chase. Peyton stood behind them all though, and watched as Lucas went after Brooke. She was standing there heartbroken and he went after the reason they broke up in the first place. Brooke didn't realize how good she had it. At least Chase tried. Lucas didn't even see Peyton anymore, it was like she didn't exist to him.
There you go! Review, Pretty Please? lol... I really hope you liked it... :)
Michelley P.
