Hi! *waves cautiously* I know, I know. I'm just now updating again. And this is probably a shorter chapter. I just had to think about this one. This has been the hardest chapter to write so far, including the chapters from the first one. However, I would like to say that I am seriously contemplating a lemon of some sort within the next dew chapters. But it might not be a lovey-dovey mushy one. *cringes* I'm more for the primal things in life. If anybody has read the BDB series, you'd understand where I'm coming from. But of course the scene would be tasteful...I hope.
Now my disclaimer goes here.
And I hope you enjoy!
JPOV
It was around two in the morning when Seth came to me from upstairs. I knew that because I had just woken up from a nightmare of my own and looked at the clock on the cable box.
"Jacob, Nessie needs you. She's flailing around in there."
Immediately, I shook off the remnants of my own fears and vaulted up the stairs. But I slowed my roll when I got to her door. I didn't want her to wake up and throw me out.
I turned to Seth. "If you wake up early, get me up so that I'm not there when she wakes, ok?"
He nodded and went back for his and Shelby's room. As soon as his door closed, I opened the one in front of me. Nessie was tossing and turning, her legs scissoring on the bed, throwing off the covers. Tears were drying on her cheeks and her hair was a mess.
"No," she moaned in misery. "No, Jacob, please. Don't."
I recoiled at the thought of her pushing me away even in a dream.
"No, Jacob," her voice got stronger. I thought for a wild moment that she'd woken up, but her eyes stayed closed, brows tight together. "No, I won't let you. You can't leave me. You promised."
Dammit, my chest hurt. She wasn't dreaming of pushing me away. She was begging me not to leave her. Suddenly, she rolled onto her side, facing me, and curled into a shaking ball. Fresh tears flowed over her face as she sobbed in her sleep. Moving as fast and quietly as I could, I went around the bed and slid in behind her. She was so deep in sleep that she didn't even stir as I pulled her back against my chest. I wasn't quite sure if me being near her would actually help. Not until her body stilled and a sigh of relief left her as the tension drained out of her.
She was wearing one of my old shirts and a pair of short shorts. I smiled into her hair at the thought that she still wore my clothes and that I could still calm her in her sleep. When she shivered again, I pulled the comforter up and around her. Immediately, she melted back into me. The lines on her face smoothed out as she sank down into peacefulness.
For a while I just watched her and held her to me. But eventually sleep sucked at me again. Only this time, it was a little gentler.
RPOV
For the second morning after our fight, I woke up warm and well-rested. It looked like I'd been right about the dreams. My subconscious must have realized that there was only so much I could handle at one time.
When I rolled over, I made a small squeak. Jacob was standing silently next to the bed, a black bag in his hands.
"Sorry to scare you again. I was just putting our stuff up."
I nodded. The urge to stretch overtook me, making me arch off the bed. Jacob's eyes roamed my body. At first there was hunger there, but then it turned to anguish as if he'd thought that he'd never be able to touch me again. In that instant, I wanted to beg for forgiveness, to beg for him to forget what I'd said. And then I wanted to put his hand on my body, anywhere, everywhere. I loved him.
Yeah, said a voice in my head. But about him do you love? How do you know this isn't some façade and he's trying to hide something from you? Hiding behind the imprint.
Ah, crap. Seeing as how my head had just made a valid point, I averted my eyes and cleared my throat. I heard him clear his throat and then start moving around the room. Quickly, he put up all of our things, even the stuff in my bag. Once he was done, he took a pair of jeans and tank from the closet, and closed the door behind him. A minute later, the shower turned on.
Before I could even sigh again, there was a loud knock on the door.
"Go away," I said to the ceiling.
The knock came again, only louder.
"I said, go away!"
That knock became a pounding that made the wood rattle on its hinges.
Growling, I got up off the bed and jerked the damn door open. "What?!" I screamed into Caden's angry face.
His hand shoved up between us, Jacob's mother's ring in his fingers. "What the hell is this doing off your finger? And why the hell are there sheets and a pillow on the damn couch?"
I crossed my arms over my stomach, clenched my jaw, and looked away from him. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
He growled deep in his chest and pushed past me into the room. I watched as he went into my closet and came out with a pair of jeans and one of Jacob's old hoodies. When I refused to take them from him, he narrowed his eyes, gripped my arm, and dragged me out of the room.
"Fine," he growled. "Freeze."
"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded, struggling. "Get your hands off me."
When we got to the stairs, I had to quit struggling or I'd fall and break something. But when we got to the bottom, I dug my heels into the floor. He didn't even hesitate as my skin squeaked on the wood. The whole time, though, he didn't hurt me at all. His grip was gentle as silk covered steal. Soft yet unbreakable. As he dragged me through the living room, Leah jumped up off the couch in alarm.
"Stay here, love. We'll be back in a while."
She looked as if she wanted to argue, but decided not to when he gave her a reassuring look. I glared at her as we passed. She shrugged apologetically. When we got to the kitchen, Seth and Shelby were standing next to the table and wouldn't meet my eyes.
"Open that door for me, would you?"
My jaw dropped when Shelby leaned forward and opened the door. A blast of cold air shot into the room and nailed me in the ass. So that's why he handed me some clothes. We were heading outside one way or another. As soon as we were out of the house and into the woods a little, he slung me around to face him and threw the clothes at me.
Shivering so bad that it felt like my teeth were chipping off, I pulled on the warm clothes while he listened for the door to close before he started in on me.
Once that door clicked shut, that glare was back on me.
"Explain yourself," he demanded. "Explain to me why this ring was on the coffee table. Why there were sheets on the couch. And why Jacob looks like a bloke that's had his heart ripped out while he was wide awake."
In a state of self-defense, I crossed my arms over my stomach and repeated what I'd told him earlier. "Again, I fail to see how that's any of your business."
He surged forward and gripped me by my upper arms, bringing me face-to-face with his aggression.
"Jacob is a good man and doesn't deserve this. And you're a good woman who doesn't deserve it. But by the looks of it, you were the antagonist. Now, Shelby said that you wouldn't talk to her. And as I recall, I helped you and your male get together the first time you let your temper and head get in the damn way. So talk to me."
When he eased me back to the ground, I swallowed hard. And told him what I'd told Shelby. "I questioned, and still do, his love for me, ok?"
The man looked at me like I'd grown a very grotesque second head. "Why the hell would you do that?"
Hugging myself, I turned to look into the trees. "He said something that struck me as odd. Something that was actually just in passing. Something he didn't even think about when he said it."
When Caden's voice came, it was softer than it had been earlier. "What was it, love?"
"He'd made a stupid comment about how he didn't deserve me and that I should have hated him all this time. I should have made him work for us to be together. That I should have made him work to be the person he was before." I took a deep shaky breath that puffed out in a white cloud.
"And that last one is what's making you draw away from him, isn't it?"
Another deep breath. "Caden, I feel like I don' know him at all. I'm in love with the Jacob that I do know. But is this a front? Does he not want me to know who he was…is? And that leads me to think that he may not love me at all beyond the imprint."
"What do you mean?"
"He hated me. Before I was born and after I was born. I was killing Mom and in the end, I did kill her. And he was in love with her. My guess would be that he'd meant to run off after her heart stopped beating, but he didn't make it out the door before meeting my eyes and imprinting…against his will, Caden. He wanted nothing to do with me. And every time we're together, he-he runs away from me suddenly, like he's just realized what he's doing. He runs off into the bathroom to take care of himself so that I don't see how his body involuntarily reacts."
Gentle but firm hands gripped my shoulders. "Stop, Nessie. Just stop."
He turned me to him and held me against his chest. And that was my breaking point. I wept and it was messy. Nothing like in my bedroom. This time, I was loud, letting my heartbreak out on the wind. And the entire time, Caden held me to him and rocked me.
When the door opened, he didn't even turn. "We're fine. Go back inside." He stroked my back. "Nessie, I wish there was something I could say to make you realize that you're wrong. I see your point, I really do. But the past needs to stay in the past. Let me explain something to you, something you may not understand because you haven't gone through it."
He walked us over to a fallen tree. Sitting me down on it, he pressed my back into a still-standing tree that was perpendicular to it. A moment later, his thumbs came up to wipe my tears away.
"Listen to me, Ness." He dipped his head down so that he could meet my eyes. "Are you listening?" When I nodded, he continued. "Nessie, pay attention to what I'm about to say. If you do, it may help you to understand your mate better." Those heavy hands rested on my shoulders again. "People change." My eyes found his and he nodded. "People change. Their attitudes, demeanors, the way they think. If something traumatic happens to them, it can change a person. After you went through what you did back in November, you were stronger. We all could see it in the set of your shoulders. And your eyes held a strength that hadn't been there before. It told the world that you had been through something that could have taken your life, but instead, you survived it. That is a strength that nobody would fight. And Jacob is no different. From stories I've heard, his life was no walk in the park. But also from what I've heard, he's become a better man from being with you, because of you."
To that speech, there was nothing I could say. I was calm for the first time in a couple days. My heart and stomach stayed still, went back to their normal tasks instead of torturing me.
Caden nodded as if he knew that my scrambled brain and heart had finally chilled out and started to think. I'd just come out of the emotional haze. Just as he'd done to me before when he'd found me crying in the woods and told me to actually think about everything. When I'd told him I was, he'd said I wasn't, was just crying instead, being emotional. That's what he was doing now. And again, it worked.
Sighing, I followed him back into the house. Shelby was at the stove making breakfast while Seth wasn't too far away, leaning on the counter next to her. His eyes kept roaming her body, landing on her stomach. I listened hard, but all I could hear was the sizzle of the bacon in the pan she was bent over.
"I'm gonna go take a shower before breakfast, ok?" I said to them. They both nodded and smiled at me encouragingly.
Lost in my thoughts, I went to my room, grabbed some random clothes and went for the bathroom. What I hadn't anticipated was the steam that escaped from the room when I opened the door or the sound of a shocked shout.
The shout made me jump and I looked up to find Jacob standing there, frozen, with a white towel over his wet hair. Without my permission, my eyes left his and roamed his body.
Yup, he was naked. Gloriously naked. The overhead light gleamed on his still-wet skin, dancing on the water. My eyes traveled the tall length of him. His thick neck was tensed up. Heavy shoulders bunched around his ears. The bulk of his arms was flexed as they were lifted above his head to dry his hair. His broad chest with the mark that I'd left on it elegantly drew down to the V of his tight hips. For once I was able to see the finish of those sharp lines that started just above his hip bones and traveled down, down, down to the juncture of his heavy thighs. The skin was darker there, the color his cheeks turned when he blushed. Not a red, but a darker tan than his normal coloring. And my eyes bulged a little at the size of him. Without a doubt he was proportional to his body.
But I hadn't known I was smiling until the smile wiped off my face in a moment of realization. He was utterly limp. Him knowing that I was looking at him and wanting him didn't do it for him. He truly didn't want me.
Blushing, I averted my eyes to his feet and the floor.
"Uh, Nessie, you wanna close that door?" His tone was irritated.
My blood boiled with embarrassment. "Sorry," I snapped. "I forgot it's not me that you really want. I'm just what the imprint wants."
With that I closed the door with a solid click, ran into my room, slammed and locked the door, and, pressing my back to it, slid to the floor. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I started to tremble.
A moment later there was a firm knock on the door. When I didn't answer, the doorknob rattled.
Another knock came as Jacob's voice said, "Nessie, open up."
A fresh wave of tears filled and spilled over onto my cheeks, rushing for my chin and neck, falling onto my chest.
The knob rattled again. But this time, the knock wasn't as gentle. "Renesmee, open this door." His voice was all command expecting to be obeyed. I didn't. This time, when the pound on the door came, I felt the vibrations in my back and all the way to my feet. "Goddammit, Nessie, open this damn door, or so help me…" He took a deep breath and let it out on a growl. "You know what? Fine. We'll play this fucking game your way."
The fury in his voice surprised me so much that my tears dried up immediately and a curious sense of relief washed over me. This. This was what I had sensed he'd been talking about. Everybody had kept saying how much of a dominant Jacob was but I'd never really seen it. All I'd seen was a type of devotion and kindness. Dominant males in any species were aggressive, yet he rarely showed any of that fierce aggression. He'd never minded any other males around me. Sure, the pack was his family, but should he really have been ok with any unmated males hanging out with me? And he'd just shown me that he didn't really want to mate with me. Every time his erection had pressed against my body, his eyes had been elsewhere on my body, not my eyes. So he was attracted to me from the waist down, no doubt picturing that I was my mother.
Wiping away the remnants of my crying jag, I got up off the floor and grabbed my clothes. I'd heard Jacob stomp off and his scent had dissipated, telling me that he hadn't come back. Still, I hesitantly opened the door, sniffing the air that rushed in. When nothing hit me, I peeked out into the hall. Nothing.
Two huge leaps across the hall and I was in the bathroom. Shower. I so needed a shower.
ShelbyPOV
Seth and I shared a look as we heard doors slam, Jacob's fist on the wood, and him yelling. The next thing I knew, his anger boiled into the kitchen long before he did. Jacob was good and pissed off. His eyes were black, not looking right in his tanned skin, and he stalked into the room like a male that owned the world and the one thing he truly wanted was disobeying him.
Fear crawled around the bottom of my stomach and made its way into my brain. Now this was the Alpha that I had seen lurking under his skin. The Alpha that knew he had power of all of his pack, power that could destroy on a whim or build the tightest of relationships. This was the man that walked into a room full of other men who, as soon as they took one look at him, backed out of his way immediately and stared at the floor until he passed out of respect.
Seth stayed close to me as Jake went for the kitchen door.
"I'm going down to the rez for the rest of the day. I have to make my rounds. Call me if she needs anything." His words were short, clipped, and involved no ifs ands or buts. Jacob looked at no one as he strode out the door. It was a shock when the thing closed gently.
I sighed. Even when he was pissed off with her, he cared for Nessie. Why couldn't she see it?
I leaned into Seth as he pulled me into his arms. The Cullens were due back today. Edward and Jasper would certainly know something was up. And if Jacob was close, Edward would be able to see into both of their minds unless Nessie was shielding. But I didn't think that she would able to concentrate enough to put that block in place.
Shaking myself, I went back to making breakfast just as Caden, Leah, and Morgan came into the room. It was odd to see Morgan in the house. She usually preferred to be outside or on the rez.
Her sharp, pale eyes took in the breakfast and all the people in the kitchen. Her nostrils flared a little and her head cocked to the side. After a moment of studying her surroundings, those eyes narrowed.
"Where's Jacob?" she demanded in that soft scary tone.
I cleared my throat. "Uh, he went down to the rez to make his rounds."
"Without Nessie?" I saw an eyebrow cock out of the corner of my eye and then focused on the bacon again.
I nodded. "Yeah. She's, uh…I mean, they're-" I threw the fork on the counter. Why the hell was I stuttering? "For godsakes, they're having issues, ok?"
Both of her eyebrows rose in surprise. Whether it was at my tone or the news, I didn't know nor care. As I turned back to making breakfast and tried not to cry, silence enveloped the room.
"I think I'll go catch up with him," she murmured. A moment later the kitchen door opened and closed quietly.
SethPOV
Once Shelby and I put all the bowls and plates on the table, I pulled her into the living room. She was in no condition to play hostess. Her eyes were tearing up and her hands were shaking so bad that I was surprised the food hadn't ended up on the floor.
Sitting down on one of the sofas, I pulled her onto my lap. She pressed her face into my neck, releasing a breath that shuddered. As I stroked her back, her body shook even more.
"I know, sweetie. Them not being together is, like, the end of the world. So much is wrong with the universe if those two are apart. But…they'll fix whatever's broken. They have to."
Slowly, she leaned back and wiped at her face angrily. "This is such bullshit. She's such a pain in the ass."
My eyebrows did a handshake with my hairline. "What?"
"Nessie. This is all her fault."
"How do you figure?"
Her slender fingers came up to trace my lips. "What fool woman would question a man's love for her? She's never questioned him before. I don't understand why she's doing it now. Take us, for example. I know next to nothing how you were before you first phased. I don't know whether there were ever other girls, or how you were in your teenage years. Everybody goes through transitions, though, where they change perspectives and whatnot. And you'll tell me when you're good and damned ready. Trying to force you to tell me would only push you away. And I won't do that. I love the Seth I know. The Seth I know takes care of me, makes sure I'm ok, and would never intentionally hurt me. The same goes with Jacob. He's never given her reason to pull this crap. And it's stupid. Beyond stupid."
When she was done with her rant, she collapsed against my chest, breathing hard. My hands kept with their jobs of stroking up and down her back and sides. We just sat there for a while, listening to Caden and Leah eat and thinking about the giant cluster of crap that had gotten entangled in our happy-go-lucky strings of life.
And Shelby was right. This time around, it was Nessie. Sure, we all understood about her reaction to when she'd originally found out about imprinting, but this? This was over the top dramatic. It was times like this that I wish I was like Edward. To know exactly what she was thinking would be a helpful way to try to talk to her. But then again, this was their problem, not mine or Shelby's. Shelby was trying to be a good friend and help, but really Jacob and Nessie needed to clean up the gallon of milk that she'd dropkicked across the room. Yeah it was everywhere, and it would take more than just paper towels to clean up. It was going to take one big ass mop and a completely fresh jug of milk.
Suddenly, I was tired. Rubbing my eyes, I mentally kicked myself. I was comparing my best friend and his mate to jugs of milk.
Man, this bump in the road was turning out to be a giant sinkhole.
Yeah, it's short. I'm sorry. But hey, at least it's new. And as always, I love you guys lots. So please review. I love "hearing" what you have to say. xoxoxoxoxoxo
