AN: Well, it seems that you all hate Sierra. Good. The Disclaimer is with the first chapter of this story if you need one. Just a reminder that this story will eventually contain yaoi. It's getting there; don't worry. Also, as a friend of mine suggested, I've tried to put more of Gohan's thoughts in this chapter. Thanks for the dips Deani. You're an angel.
Chapter Six: Love?
It is a good enough day, you think to yourself as you glance up at the sky. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you have a meeting with your boss today that is almost sure to result in a raise. Yes, it is a good day.
Then why on earth are you feeling so miserable?
It's not because Videl is away on a business trip. That much you already know. She's been on business trips thousands of times before and you've never missed her.
A darker spot appears in front of the sun, and the misery only grows.
The spot slowly descends, growing in size and detail until it becomes a distinct figure, with arms, legs, and those pointy ears that you've grown to love so much.
And you realise without adoubt that this is the reason for your misery. It hurts to see him; hurts when you realise what you used to have. The child inside of you; the part that hates the rest of you for what you did, wants to reach out and touch him, but you know you can't. Instead you just smile; pretending that things have always been the way they are now.
"Hey Piccolo," you greet him, but the words aren't nearly as enthusiastic as they once were, and they almost get caught in your throat.
"Hey." His response is always emotionless and cold; at least it has been since you got married and lost nearly all contact with him.
"Dad, Dad, Dad!" your four year old daughter squeals, running down the pathway to your house to stop just beside your feet. "Is Uncle Piccolo here?"
"Yes he is," you answer, surprised to hear your own voice come out as emotionless as his. "He's going to be your babysitter today."
"Really?" Pan squeals. "Cool!"
You should be glad that the two of them get along so well. Admittedly he tries to hide it, but then again, wasn't he like that around you as well?
"Are you sure that you're fine with this?" you ask him as Pan runs happily around his feet. He isn't exactly the most willing babysitter in the world. In fact you're almost sure that if Pan was anyone else's child then he would have said no.
A small grunt echoes in his throat, and he gives the tiniest hint of a shrug. You know that's as close to a 'no worries' as you'll ever get from him, and for some reason, even this hurts.
You bend down and ruffle your daughter's hair affectionately.
"Now be good for Uncle Piccolo okay?" you tell her.
"I will!" Pan says happily, as though doing anything else is completely out of the question.
The only parting you can bear to give him is a subtle nod goodbye, which he returns.
You walk towards your car, briefcase in hand, debating whether you should say anything else, and then you hear his voice behind you.
"Come on kid," he says, ushering Pan towards the house, and that hurts more than anything else.
You're the only one he calls kid. For a moment jealousy takes complete control over you and you find you can't take another step. You wait until the two of them have moved inside the house before you collapse against the side of the car and cry.
It's just not right. He is supposed to be yours and yours alone. Now it seems that the stupidest mistake you ever made was willingly give him up. If you ever get another chance you know now that you're never going to give him up. You'd rather die.
What to do? If I was Kakumbus or Sierra then I would have given you over to her without a second thought, but I wasn't, and I couldn't. I'm Son Gohan, and so I did the only thing I could do.
The negotiations could go no further until I had made up my mind, so we retired to our room. I now sat, slumped, on the side of the bed. I didn't look up from the spot on the floor that I found I had been staring at for the past half-hour, but I could tell that you kept glancing at me, almost as though you were concerned.
The thought that you cared about me, even as a slave might worry about a master should have been a comforting one, but there was still the possibility that it wasn't really me you cared about, but the fact that at the moment I held your fate in my hands.
"What am I going to do?" I asked myself.
"It's simple enough," Kakumbus answered rather angrily. I had almost forgotten that he had joined us in my room. At the moment he leaned against the opposite wall to you, and like you, sat watching me, waiting for my answer. "If you had been thinking with your head instead of those damned emotions of yours then you would have realised that the only way we can complete this mission is to accept Sierra's condition. It's only for one night boy."
But it wouldn't be for only one night. Not really. I had no doubt that Sierra would treat you more as a plaything than a lover, and that was something I wouldn't be able to stand. If I did give you to Sierra, then who was to say that the trust I had worked so hard to build up in you wouldn't be completely shattered? Who knew how deep the emotional scarring would go, and how long it would last?
The only person that could really answer these questions, and therefore the only one that could make this decision, was you.
"Piccolo," I almost whispered as I turned to face you. "I…" I glanced at Kakumbus, knowing that the older Saiyan-jin was going to hate what I was about to do. "I need to know what you want me to do about this, and don't want to hear you say something just because you think that's what I would want to hear. What do you genuinely think I should do?"
I was dreading your answer. It seemed that I had found myself in a loose-loose situation. If you said that you didn't want to be Sierra's plaything then there was no way I could give you to her without feeling like a monster, and the negotiations would be ruined for the Saiyan-jins. If you said that you would accept Sierra's conditions then I didn't know how I would cope.
You stood silently against the wall; your eyes closed, showing no indication that you had heard what I had said. Eventually your eyes opened and met with mine.
"I need time to think," you announced.
"Okay," I nodded. "We'll leave you in peace for a while. I'll be back later."
Kakumbus gave me a stare that said in no uncertain terms that he wanted to stay where he was. I grabbed him by the arm, no longer caring whether or not my actions had the older Saiyan-jins approval, and pulled him out of the room with me.
"What do you think you're doing?" Kakumbus hissed as soon as I had closed the door behind us. I clamped a hand over Kakumbus's mouth and dragged him down the hallway in an attempt to take him far enough from the room for the two of us to talk without you overhearing us.
We only got as far as the end of the hallway however, when he struggled out of my grip and turned to face me with a murderous look in his eyes.
"Gohan!" Kakumbus roared. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
This was bad, I remember thinking. We weren't nearly far enough. With your sensitive hearing you would probably be able to hear every would Kakumbus said if he continued to shout.
"He can still hear you, you know," I hissed, trying to get the older Saiyan-jin to quieten down a little.
"I don't give a damn!" Kakumbus continued. "I know you care for Piccolo, but your little infatuation could cost us this mission. If Vegeta finds out that you handed the fate of the Saiyan-jins over to a slave he'll be furious!"
"As long as somebody keeps his mouth shut," I hissed back at Kakumbus before I could stop myself, "then Vegeta won't have to. We can sort this out ourselves."
"You should have just given the damn Namek over to her!" Kakumbus's voice rose again. "Then this whole thing would be over, Kakarot would be allowed to live and Sierra would have her damned union, but you had to make it difficult, didn't you?"
"Yes. I did," I answered calmly. "Because the only reason that 'damn Namek' as you put it, is my slave is because I love him too much to stand back and watch as you Saiyan-jins tear him apart! The only reason I'm working for King Vegeta at all is because I love him!"
Kakumbus looked like he was stuck halfway between shock and confusion. To be honest I was a little surprised myself. I didn't think I had it in me to burst into such a passionate speech, especially at a time like this, when I knew that you had probably heard every single word I had just said.
I turned away from Kakumbus. I no longer had the desire or wit to bicker with him any more as my mind was already made up.
"I won't forget where my allegiance truly lies," I told Kakumbus as I moved to leave. "It might be a good idea if you didn't forget either."
I didn't know where I would go; had no destination in mind, but I let my feet carry me where they would. I soon found myself facing the door to our room with no idea whether I should open it or flee in the other direction.
"Piccolo," I called softly, summoning enough courage to place my hand on the doorknob and turn it gently. Maybe you had heard our conversation. Maybe you hadn't. I prayed against all hope that you hadn't. I had a sudden fearful thought that maybe Kakumbus's words would prompt you to accept Sierra's condition if only to keep me out of trouble.
I opened the door as quietly as possible to find that you were still levitating just a little off the floor in the middle of the room; your eyes closed shut as you meditated. You slowly opened one eye as I entered, then the other, and moved down a little so that you were standing with both feet firmly on the ground.
You looked me straight in the eyes, and for a moment all my world consisted of was those two brilliantly dark globes.
"Love?" you asked, the softly spoken work immediately turning into a question because of the look on your face.
So that was it then. You had heard. A lifetime of hiding my feelings and lying to myself collapsed in one tiny moment.
"I…" the words would not come, no matter how hard I tried. There was so much I wanted to say; so much that needed explaining, but instead I silently hung my head; afraid to see any sort of indication on your face that I was going to be rejected.
So you can understand that I was surprised when I felt your hand softly grab my chin and push it up a little so that I was staring at your eyes once more.
There wasn't even a flicker of hatred there; only confusion, and a hint of something else that I didn't have the words to name. I suppose love was something you couldn't understand considering you had never even known friendship until you had met me only a couple of weeks previously.
Maybe we were very slowly drawing closer to one another. Maybe if we had been given one more second then our lips would have met.
But we weren't.
I hadn't closed the door behind me as I entered, and Kakumbus burst in on us right at that moment.
"I'm sorry," he said as he spotted us. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
I was a little annoyed to realise that there was more than a trace of sarcasm in Kakumbus's voice. Even still, you and I pulled away from each other quite quickly.
"You know something my boy," Kakumbus sighed, sitting down on my bed without asking me for permission. "I've done a bit of thinking and realised something."
"What's that?" I sighed, hoping that it was something good.
"Maybe it's for the best that you left the decision up to Piccolo, hmm?" Kakumbus raised a conspiratorial eyebrow in your direction. "Maybe he can see the whole situation in a different light to you. Hopefully he'll come to a more sensible conclusion then you would have."
The tiniest trace of a scowl appeared on your face. Apparently it was one of those facial expressions of yours that is subtle enough that only I can really pick it up, because Kakumbus's smirk didn't leave his face.
A growl so soft that I almost missed it started up in your throat.
"I've decided," you said.
The smile on Kakumbus's face grew larger, as though he already knew what your answer would be. He glanced over at me with an expression that managed to say 'I'm sorry,' and 'I told you so,' at the same time.
The look on Sierra's face the next day seemed almost an exact replica of the one Kakumbus had worn the afternoon before. She sat down at the negotiations table directly opposite from me and grinned as though she already knew what I was about to tell her.
I put on a brave face and tried to recall the exact words you had told me.
"I've decided," I told Sierra.
"Yes," the Queen prompted.
"I've decided," I glanced at you for a moment. You nodded ever so subtly, and one side of your mouth lifted upwards in a grin so small that only I could have spotted it. "That I'd rather die than hand Piccolo over to you." Was that how you had put it last night? Well, it was about as close as I was going to get to "I'd rather die than become that bitch's toy," while still remaining mildly diplomatic.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kakumbus shake his head. I didn't need to look at you to know that you would be smiling. I was almost afraid to look and see what Sierra thought of the situation. When I did it turned out that my expectations of the Queen's reaction were spot on.
Sierra's usually attractive face was marred by the largest frown imaginable.
"So that's it then is it?" Sierra hissed. "You think you can just tell me 'no' and get away with it?" She stood up; the action pushing the chair she had been sitting on several metres back. "I am through dealing with you fools. I think I'll take a little trip to Earth and see what King Vegeta has to say about all of this."
Fury I could have dealt with. Violence I knew how to counter. But this quiet, calculating rage of Sierra's was something else entirely.
She looked directly at me; the air around her sizzling with energy as she did so.
"You'll be lucky if I don't ask for your head along with Kakarot's," Queen Sierra said as she stormed out of the room.
