When I started, I hadn't meant for there to be so much humor. But when you starting writing dialogue for a character with a speech problem, the humor is sort of unavoidable. And when you have someone like Ulquiorra in a situation like this, there's also going to be some comedy.

I'd also like to thank you guys for all the feedback and input you've given me since I started. In some cases, your advice has helped me to come up with future story ideas (you guys will know who of you I'm talking about as the story continues). I anticipate this story having a pretty decent life-span, so you can all look forward to some more twists and turns in future chapters.

And I'd like to say thanks to Anne the Fire, Morning Bleach, deadpoolhulk, Ice Prince Hitsugaya, Cifer10, and Moonlight's Shadow Warrior. Thank you all, so much!

Edit (11/13/11): I'm probably older than most Bleach fans (I'm 27). In the 90s, Japanese honorifics simply weren't used. In fact, I grew up in a time when it was a common practice to 'Americanize' the shows and change the names- shows like Sailor Moon, Ronin Warriors, and Yu-Gi-Oh. So I find it funny when I hear people complain about censoring nowadays. I grew up in an decade where entire episodes were cut, or the writers didn't even bother with translations, and shows where characters had their genders changed!


BLEACH
The Human Condition

Chapter 7: "Diplomacy"

Toshiro Hitsugaya had listened intently to the small group around him. In turns, each of them explained all the various threads that ultimately weaved together and comprised the strange story that had brought them all to where they now found themselves.

Once everyone was finished, the young-looking Captain rubbed the bridge of his nose while he attempted to process all of it. "Well, I have to say that I'm actually inclined to believe everything that you've all have told me..." Hitsugaya replied with some effort. "Largely because any sort of lie that you might have tried to pass off on me would have made much more sense."

Urahara was casually sipping on sake as the others drank tea. "Well, Captain Hitsugaya, as we've learned, fact can often be far stranger than fiction." He remarked with a smirk.

Hitsugaya then turned to Orihime. "Inoue-san, I'm not going to lie and tell you that things are going to go smoothly for the two of you." He began as he addressing her. "Still, if you feel that you can trust him with your safety, than I'm willing to accept your judgment on the matter and leave things as they are for the time being." The white-haired captain explained. "But right now, I need to report back to Soul Society... And I'll do my best to make sure that ALL the facts are made clear to them."

"Hitsugaya-san, tell me something." Rukia began "What do you thing is going to happen now?"

He became silent as he thought. "Well, to be perfectly honest, Soul Society is simply in no condition for another protected large-scale battle." Hitsugaya replied simply. "Right now, it's all we can do to just to maintain stability among our own ranks." He paused for a moment. "I'm going to tell you all something... Though it's strictly off the record."

Hitsugaya leaned in closer. "As it stands, the Shinigami simply don't want a full-on war... Especially not after everything we just went through." He explained. "With the current current strain on both manpower and resources, it's more than likely that any future actions taken in regards to the Arrancar will be diplomatic in nature."

"Wait, are you saying that they want a peace treaty?" Ichigo asked in amazement.

The captain shook his head. "No, not exactly... In truth, what we're aiming for could be considered to be more of a Non-Aggression Pact." He replied, crossing his arms. "We have no intention of allowing the Hollows to run rampant... However, in order to help facilitate negotiations, Soul Society is ready to recognize the Arrancar as sentient beings."

Ulquiorra set his tea down. "It's a bit more complicated then that... The Arrancar are just as varied and diverse a people as the Humans and Shinigami." He began, causing everyone to suddenly turn to him as he continued. "It's possible that there are Arrancar that would be willing to coexist with your kind, but it'll take some time to establish a genuine rapport with them."

Hitsugaya nodded. "We realize that... And because we now know that it was Aizen who was largely responsible for everything that happened, the tribunal decided that there would no reprisals carried out against the Arrancar." The young captain continued. "Still, we feel that you and Nelliel would be of great help to us. The support of two high-ranking Espada would be invaluable to our efforts to establish open relations with Hueco Mundo."

He then paused for a moment. "And your assistance would also go a long way towards proving your good intentions to Soul Society." Hitsugaya offered with a small smile. "I understand that you don't any particular reason to either like or trust us, Ulquiorra, but consider something... You might just find the Shinigami to be much better allies than enemies."

Leaving him to consider what he'd said, the Captain turned to Ichigo. "Now as for Nelliel, I think that it would be better if she were to come to Soul Society."

The orange-haired teen rubbed the back of his head nervously. "She's definitely not gonna like that..." Ichigo remarked in an uneasy tone. "As far as Nell sees things, it's us who're the badguys... In her eyes, the Shinigami are like boogiemen- a bunch of big scary people dressed in black, who go around hunting and killing her kind." He explained. "So she won't like the idea of being surrounded by them."

Hitsugaya nodded understandingly. "Perhaps, but in the long run, I think you realize that it would be better for her than to stay here." He explained. "The longer she remains, the more likely it is that she'll end up drawing unwanted attention." He paused for a moment. "When the time comes, I think you should accompany her... Besides, the trip will give you a chance to speak with the others."

Ichigo crossed his arms as he thought things over, before giving him a nod. "If you really think it's for the best, then I'll go along with it." He replied. "But I'm telling you this right now- I'm not letting 'Doctor Frankenstein' anywhere near her!"

Hitsugaya smirked slightly at the remark. "I'm sure that Captain Kurotsuchi will be heartbroken, but I think that condition can be arranged easily enough." He replied, sliding back from the table and rising to his feet. "And with that, I'd better get going... I'll be back soon. Hopefully by then, I should have some more definitive information for all of you."

Hitsugaya continued as he started for the door. "In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if all of you would try and maintain a low profile." He finished with a smile.

Urahara stood up and rushed over to him as he exited the shop. "If you have a moment, Captain, I'd like to speak with you about a few things..."

...o.o.o...

Ulquiorra watched as Orihime went about her business in the kitchen. The redhead glanced over her shoulder at him and smiled. "I never really thought about it before... I only really ever cooked for myself until recently." She remarked to him. "Your reaction yesterday kind of surprised me because Rangiku-san always liked what I made for her."

Ulquiorra was silent for a moment as he watched her put on a frilly apron. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with the KaraKura High School emblem on it. She also had a pair of pink house slippers on as well. He couldn't help but smile to himself, thinking about how consistently feminine Orihime always was... So unlike anything he'd known up till now. In spite of how she looked and what she'd been through, there was a lot about her that was surprisingly innocent...

He suddenly realized she was looking at him (most likely due to his silence). Ulquiorra straightened his posture and nodded. "It's nothing to worry about... I imagine my sense of taste may likely be different from that of a human or the Shinigami." He replied, earning a smile from her. Truthfully, he suspected that it was really her tastes that were strange... Though he wasn't about to say that!

Ulquiorra sat back down on the couch, reaching over to pick up his sword. He held up to the light, narrowing his eyes as he inspected the blade. He thought about what the white-haired Shinigami had said to him the day before yesterday... He didn't really trust them, but so far that they had kept their word and not interfered. As he considered what they'd discussed, it struck him as rather ironic that they would now find themselves in a situation where they would need him... And to play a role in their future plans, no less! He slid the Katana back into the sheath and set the sword down.

The two of them suddenly turned around when they heard a knock at the door. Orihime slipped off her apron and started to head for the door. She stopped in her tracks when Ulquiorra put a hand on her arm, his grim firm but gently. She turned to him and he shook his head. She watched as he picked up his sword and gestured towards the door. She nodded in understanding and approached the door while Ulquiorra waited just around the corner at the end of the entry way.

While holding the sheath in one hand, Ulquiorra reached up and gripped the handle with the other as, ready to draw it in an instant. He waited silently as Orihime knelt down slightly to look through the little peep-hole. She quickly let out a gasp- a mix of surprise and relief as she opened the door...

Ulquiorra set his sword down against the wall, only to jump ever so slightly as a woman appeared and threw her arms around Orihime in a tight embrace. He instantly recognized the busty blond woman as the same woman he'd seen with Orihime in some of the pictures.

"Oh Orihime! I was so worried about you, I'm so glad to see you're home and okay!" The woman exclaimed dramatically as she hugged her. "I missed you sooo much!" She declared as she hugged her against her considerable bust.

"I, I missed you too, Rangiku-san." Orihime replied.

Rangiku suddenly paused when she spotted Ulquiorra, still hugging her friend. She looked at him for a moment, as if to size him up, then back down at Orihime. The blond's eyes narrowed and a broad grin quickly spread across her face. "My goodness, haven't you've been busy..." She began in a devious tone as she looked at her. "My darling Orihime has finally become a woman!"

Ulquiorra watched as Orihime's face quickly turned a bright shade of red. "B-but Rangikuuu! It's not what you think!" She replied in a pleading tone, now squirming in the embrace. The blond only beamed happily as she continued to hug the other girl tightly in her arms.

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat and everyone turned to see Hitsugaya standing just outside. The white-haired Squad Captain stepped into the doorway. "Lieutenant Matsumoto," He began in a professional voice. "That man is the Arrancar that I told you about."

Rangiku looked at her captain for a moment. "Really, are you certain?" She asked, getting a nod in response. She turned back to Ulquiorra and looked at him again. "But he's so good looking!"

...o.o.o...

With the arrival of their guests, Orihime and Ulquiorra now found themselves seated at the dining table in the den- accompanied by the Tenth Division Captain and his Lieutenant. The two of them had to be the most mismatched pair that he'd ever seen. The pale Arrancar wasn't sure about what to make of the situation or how to react to the two of them...

Still, it was obvious to him that the three of them were close in their own way- Orihime obviously cared about both of them. He noted that she seemed particularly close with the curvy blond Lieutenant. And for her part, the boisterous woman (Rangiku, as he'd gathered) appeared to be extremely attached to Orihime- to point of regarding her like a little sister. She was also quite open and candid with her (to the point of making her blush.) However, the thing that most surprised Ulquiorra was the fact that the busty woman had the same decidedly unconventional tastes in food as Orihime did.

The white-haired captain was dressed in a pair of dark slacks and white short-sleeved dress shirt with a cream-colored school pullover. He had presented Orihime with a bouquet of brightly colored flowers (while grumbling about having to carry them when he had his subordinate with him). By comparison, his lieutenant sported a short black skirt and matching high heels. She also had on a white blouse with the upper half of the buttons undone- her trademark cleavage straining against the fabric. Ulquiorra wasn't sure if the woman was showing off or if her bust was really so uncontainable.

The two guests had sat and quietly listened while drinking their tea. "Well now, that does sound like quite an ordeal to have to go through." Rangiku nodded and remarked in a sympathetic tone as she finished listening to Orihime recount (most of) the series of events that had lead up to this moment. "Still, I am a little concerned by the fact that you won't be able to use your powers at all while you're recovering." She added as she took a sip from her tea.

"I have no intention of allowing any harm to come to her." Ulquiorra remarked suddenly, much to everyone surprise as he took a sip from his tea. "I still have Murcielago... And in spite of my apparent transformation, I haven't lost the ability to access my Reiatsu." He calmly explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Rangiku grinned at his statement. "My, I must say that that's very chivalrous of you." Rangiku replied before she turned to Orihime with a smile. "And aren't you the lucky one to have him protecting you?" She asked her. "I mean, it's the perfect excuse for the two of you to be able to spend your time together." She remarked, making the other woman blush.

Hitsugaya shook his head. "Try and keep in mind that he is- at least to some extent- still an Arrancar... We just finished fighting him and his comrades not too long ago." The young captain pointed out to her in a mildly annoyed tone.

"Well, so what?" Rangiku casually fired back at him. "I mean, if Orihime is willing to trust him, than I don't really see what the problem is."

Hitsugaya sighed. "Well, I'm glad that you feel that way..." He replied smartly. "I, on the other hand, have to consider the larger picture..." He paused, glaring slightly. "We can't just keep pushing back everything that's happened. For example, what's going to happen with him in the long run?" He remarked, gesturing towards Ulquiorra.

"I'm not leaving Orihime..." Ulquiorra inserted bluntly. "As I already explained to the Fool and the Shopkeeper, I have no intention of leaving her side." He added, before taking a sip from his tea. The others watched as he glanced down into the cup, then shrugged and took another sip.

Orihime blushed at his remark, moved by the frankness of his statement. At the same time, Rangiku leaned forward (nearly knocking over her cup of tea) and regarded the dark-haired Arrancar with a look of mild confusion. "...The Fool and the Shopkeeper?"

"He's talking about Kurosaki and Urahara-san." Hitsugaya explained, causing the busty woman to burst out laughing in response.

"Oh, but Toshiro-kun is right..." Orihime remarked, her eyes becoming wide. "What are we going to do when I go back to school?" She asked the others nervously.

Ulquiorra set his cup down and slowly looked back at the others, his eyes narrowing when he realized that the three of them were all now looking at him expectantly. "What?"

(- End of Chapter 7 -)


I hope that this chapter wasn't too out there, specifically when they were talking with Hitsugaya about the Arrancar. It's just that I figured that Soul Society would be ready to consider a different tactic in the wake of the destructive Winter War.

I was glad to have Rangiku make an appearance, she's fun to write for- she's a nice well rounded character. She's pretty laid back and open with what she says and does. But at the same time, she can also be very sensitive and compassionate as well. I especially enjoyed writing the dialogue between the four characters in the last two scenes. I've gone into Ulquiorra's thoughts a couple of time, so I'd like to explore Orihime's perspective on things in the next chapter.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all of you for reading this. As always, your feedback is really appreciated, as it helps me get better.

-Bojack727