Different As It Always Will Be
Phase I
Chapter Seven: The Aftermath of Thought
His heart beating a thousand miles an hour in his chest. No, it had to be closer to a million. Maybe even light speed. Would he blow up if his heart was beating that fast? How fast would his heart have to beat and it kill him? Would he just fall over dead right this second? Would he even know if he died? Would he feel it?
All of these thoughts were pouring through Michelangelo's head. He lifted his head from his knees to see his big brother standing over him. He was doing his best to reassure him, but Leo was doing a lousy job. Mikey was sure he didn't even believe his own words.
But Mikey's response almost surprised himself. "Donnie's not Superman, Leo. None of us are."
Leo looked shocked. It was always Mikey who kept them positive, kept them alive. But right now, the clown of the lot of them couldn't even create a smile. He wanted to be like April, to cry and be comforted, but he couldn't. He was a man, and men did not cry.
That was when he noticed the tear stains on Leo's face. Raph may be the toughest around them, but Mikey already knew he cried. But Leo? He didn't. He would simply meditate, like Splinter. Ever since Donnie had been taken, he had been so much more serious. He had become older.
Well, really they all had. Nobody would probably guess that they weren't even 18 yet. Heck, were they even 17? He didn't even know what the date was. Had their mutation day come and gone already?
Opening his bedroom door, he looked for his calendar. It wouldn't be on the wall, he already knew that much. He tore it down months ago, after crossing off day after day of not finding Donnie.
Underneath a pile of...something, he finally found it. Using a throwing star, he pinned back up, circling the day's date. In a small notation, he wrote the simple words, Donnie found alive.
Reading it over, Mikey choked. Donnie had been found alive. His brother was alive! He was breathing, and all Mikey had to do was walk over to another room to be able to see him. He may be hooked up to all kinds of wires and gizmos, but he was alive.
There was a soft knock at his door, and Leo walked in. He stared at where Mikey's view was, a small smile forming on his firm lips. "Donnie found alive," He whispered, looking back at his orange banded brother.
Mikey nodded. "It's a win, right Leo?"
"It is a win, Mikey. We found Donnie, and we found him alive."
"And he'll be okay, right Leo?"
Leo was silent, and Mikey could watch as thoughts raced across his big brother's brain. "I...I have to be honest. I don't know. I...I don't know..." Sitting on Mikey's bed, Leo stared at the wall. "I don't know...I hate not knowing..."
Taking his place beside his brother, Mikey pulled his legs in so he could sit Indian style. "So do I."
Leo sighed, but shoulders sinking slightly. He didn't say a word, and Mikey did not feel obligated to say anything either. He knew what Leo was going through, because he was going through it himself. They were more alike than either would probably imagine. They didn't want to be alone, but they needed to think. And Leo's thoughts were far too chaotic for him to meditate. Mikey was almost glad, because sitting with him this quietly felt good.
He didn't want to think. He had no urge to. But his mind wouldn't stop at all the possibilities. He didn't want to think what would happen if Donnie died. He had grieved already, that day he yanked the calendar down. He didn't think they would ever find him. But Raph...Raph was unstoppable. He defied Leo and Splinter's orders, and so often went out with Casey to find something new. And eventually, he did.
Mikey could remember it clearly. The rest of them were meditating with Splinter, and he bust in the dojo holding Donnie's tattered mask. He said it wasn't all there was. He had taken it from Shredder's lair, a gift from the Kraang. One of the Foot he had...interrogated had given him some of the information. That Donatello was alive. But more importantly, the man told Raph where their brother was.
Mikey never asked Raph what he did to that Foot soldier. He, alongside the rest of them, knew that Raph wasn't so stupid to let him go and alert everyone what he knew. Turning him into the police would be stupid, because the Shredder would probably bail him out. So they just opted not to speak about it.
He hadn't believed it. He thought it would be just like any one of their other missions, and he was tired of those. They had emotionally and mentally drained him, after finding so many bodies, failed experiments. He was weary of the mutilated things they would find, alive or not. He was done with opening his home to strangers.
Mikey did not want to be taken the wrong way, not even in his own mind. He believed in what they did. He truly did. But it was a hard life. He almost wished that he and his brothers had never gone up to the surface. But where would they be now? They had halted the Kraang's plans, merely put a pause on what they had in mind. They would have done so much by now, especially since they had saved April that first night. Eventually, they would have been found, and the Kraang would have had far more forces than they could handle. They would have all been captured, but maybe at that point they would have all been killed. Maybe not...tortured. He dared to think the word that he knew his brother had been through. Pure torture.
"We should get a pizza," Leo said almost as if it were a normal day. "Maybe Donnie will want some when he wakes up."
Mikey did not say that he doubted Dr. Rockwell would allow Donnie to have any, but instead agreed. They hadn't had pizza in so long. Pizza was good for any mood, but having one when they were happy was always the best. Maybe it would make them happy. Or at least help...
