Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI and TDA. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home (except for the kissing, but with non-family members).
All songs and movies are the property of their companies and producers.
The Kobold Necromancer's Warning - Nothing really serious here, except for some violent descriptions of zombie killing and other icky things. Also, Ezekiel and Izzy are mushy in this chapter, as mushy as Izzy can be.
Chapter 7 - Wawanakwa Rising: Izzy 'til You're Dizzy
Ezekiel woke up from a small adrenaline surge. When his eyes opened, he was greeted by the peaceful, sleeping face of Izzy. She was lying on top of him, her breath coming out in happy hums.
His right hand was on her tousle of red hair, his left on the small of her back. She had one hand on his chest, her hand over his heart as if to measure the beats.
The prairie boy couldn't help but stroke her hair, and she actually began to purr in her sleep. Ezekiel smiled, looking at the tranquil expression on her face.
"I've never seen her like this befur," he thought, then had to suppress some laughter. "Then a'geen, I've never seen her sleep, eh. But she looks so beautiful like this..."
As he continued to pet her, he realized how tired he still felt, but a wonderful kind of tired. They had been up late kissing, so hot and fervent that he remembered both of them wriggling, almost dry humping each other, in their efforts to be closer to be each other as they kissed. Ezekiel's lips felt sore and a little bloated, hers looked the same.
He couldn't remember feeling this good before, so warm deep down. This was something that he had only dreamed of when he fantasized about having a girlfriend. He never was wrapped up in sex when growing up (mostly because the only people to talk about it were his parents, and that was awkward), so cuddling and kissing a girl were as far as his imagination went at times.
Izzy was not the first girl he thought he would be doing this with, mostly because it was difficult the redhead staying still at all, even in her sleep. If he had fantasized about snuggling a girl, it most likely would have been Bridgette, and sometimes he thought about Katie, Gwen, and Beth. Izzy had only come into play when he started to watch the girl at Playa des Losers at TDI.
The girl sleeping on his chest now was so different at first, so wild and unpredictable, that Ezekiel couldn't fathom her. He had started off avoiding her, but eventually his curiosity overcame his common sense. Ezekiel once felt like studying Izzy from afar was like staring into an abyss, one that had no end and seemed to swallow him up the longer he looked in.
He found himself sympathizing over her after a while. No one really paid attention to her, and when they did, they acted afraid or weirded out. Only Owen was willing to give her time of day, but his own habits (and shoving her towards a serial killer) actually made her distance herself. That was the big sign to Ezekiel she was human: she had standards, and feelings.
"I guess that's what brought us together, eh," he thought, smiling at her. "Two lost souls, with no one to comfort us or be there for us, trying to cope with the insanity and loneliness. She found me, and I kept close to her.
"I used to think she was crazy, eh. But now everything she does, even the strangest things, I know she does because it's either for the attention or because she just loves to do what comes to her mind. It's like she has no filter, and not only do I admire her for it, but I also kind of envy her."
The redhead stirred in her sleep, and her eyes batted open. Her bright green eyes scanned up at Ezekiel, and her blissful smile became wider. "Good morning, my Zeke," she chirped.
"Good morning, my Izzy," he replied, smiling right back.
"What a night, huh? I think that one of the greatest nights of my life."
"Really?"
"Ayup. It tops the time I got to pilot a zeppelin, when I got to set off my first explosive, and even the time I got to use a sniper rifle! That night was wild... but you topped all of them."
She wriggled up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for stroking my hair, it feels nice; I won't need a hair brush, 'cause I got you."
Ezekiel chuckled, then let out a happy sigh. "Izzy, I'm gonna ask a really stupid question, eh."
"Go ahead, I like them. Gives me a chance to give a really sarcastic answer."
"Well... does this mean we are going 'oot now, officially?"
"Oh, after that grinding dance and making out all night, my Zeke, I think it's time we take a break."
"You weren't kidding, eh."
"Sorry," she giggled, "but I did warn you."
Ezekiel stroked her cheek, and she nuzzled back happily. "Can we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend too?"
"So long as we call each other by the gender appropriate title."
He laughed. "You're so funny, Izzy."
"Mmm, thank you."
She kissed him. Ezekiel wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and continued to pet her hair. He couldn't help but moan when she darted her tongue into his mouth and out as quickly.
"Have we got time before breakfast to make out some more?" she asked, grinning playfully.
Ezekiel was hopeful that they would before he looked at his watch; the real time startled him. "6:12?" he read the time. "Whoa, we woke up early, eh!"
"Everyone usually is at breakfast by ten, right?"
"Yes. I think all the campers are there at that time, even the ones who like to sleep in."
"So we got about four hours of alone time together before we go have breakfast. Sounds good."
As they began to kiss again, something came to Ezekiel's mind. "Izzy?" he asked between kisses. "Are we... going to tell people a'boot us?"
"Mmmm, I think we should. It'd be best for clearing up their doubts and rumors."
Ezekiel cupped her face as he gave her a long, passionate kiss. "How will we be going a'boot telling them?"
"Don't worry your cute head and the toque upon it," she replied, rubbing her nose against his. "I'll make sure they all know."
"HEY EVERYONE, I'M EZEKIEL'S GIRLFRIEND NOW!!"
Everyone in the cafeteria jumped at Izzy's shout. Some glared at her, others stared in amazement. She bobbed on her feet happily as Ezekiel, blushing, scratched the back of his head. Tyler was the first to react.
"Yaaaaay," he cheered, leaping over and patting them on the shoulder. "Izzy and Zeke, officially dating!
"Oh, Izzy and Ezekiel," he mused. "Ezekiel and Izzy, Zeke and Izzy... sounds rather... Ezzy."
Izzy cackled. Ezekiel blushed even more. A lot of the others rolled their eyes.
Tyler thumped them on the shoulder again, and led them to the table where he was sitting alone. "So you two," he started, grinning mischievously, "what is couple Ezzy going to do?"
"Well first," Izzy said, "I have to remind you that only my Zeke can call me Izzy..."
"Oh, sorry."
"But since we cannot be called Ezzy when I'm E-Scope, I guess you can call me Izzy since you gave us that nickname."
"Groovy, dudes. Now tell me, you got any plans?"
Ezekiel and Izzy exchanged glances. "I suppose," Ezekiel spoke up, looking at Izzy, "I could always ask her 'oot a'geen, eh."
"I'd like that," she replied, beaming at him.
"Why not go see a movie?" Tyler suggested.
"You mean, like, a DVD or something, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "I was thinking a'boot going 'oot for the date-"
"No no no, I meant the movie theater," the jock explained. "Haven't you been to a movie theater before, Zeke?"
"Um, no, actually."
"Should have guessed that, since you haven't been to a restaurant before either. Izzy, I leave it up to you to educate your new boyfriend about the good things in the city!"
"Will do," Izzy said with a salute. "There is a movie theater within walking distance of here, we'll go this afternoon!"
"Oh, but the new episode of TDA is on today."
"Meh, I don't care," she said with a shrug. Izzy looked over at Ezekiel and said, "Unless you want to see it, my Zeke?"
"Nah, it's okay. I'd rather spend moo'r time with you, eh."
Izzy grabbed his jacket and yanked him over. Ezekiel barely had time to cry out before she mashed her lips into his, gave him a wet kiss, and released him. He stared at her, a very dazed and happy look on his face.
"You're so wonderful, my prairie boy."
Tyler smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Oh boy. Why do I have the feeling you two are going to the movie theater, but not remember what movie you'll be seeing?"
At the movie theater, Izzy and Ezekiel studied their choices. The ones that interested them most was one about genies, one about zombies, and one about a young girl who made her living as a street performer.
"I wanna see zombies," Izzy shouted, leaping up and down. "Zombies going after people who are so stupid, they cannot avoid... a zombie!"
Ezekiel smiled at her. "I do like to watch bad zombie movies on late-night TV. Is this one any good?"
"The Wrath of the Dead," Izzy mused, tapping her chin. "I heard it's really bad, but it's grossing well."
"Shall we see something else then?"
"Of course not! We can make fun of the movie by cracking jokes."
"Woo'nt the other people in the movie theater mind?" Izzy gave him a look that said, "C'mon, you know me better than that."
After buying their tickets, Ezekiel and Izzy looked at the concession stand to see if they wanted a drink.
"Six dollars fur a drink?" he exclaimed. "Is it limited edition or something, eh?!"
"I once tried to barter with them," Izzy said. "I offered a soda can, and asked them to fill it for a dollar and a quarter, because that's how much the machine charged me. The manager actually made me throw it away."
"What a jerk."
"Yeah, well, I did throw it away. At his head."
As they walked by the concession stand, a large man approached the stand. "What do you guys have?" he asked the employee behind the counter, the giant neon sign above his head.
Izzy smacked her forehead as she grabbed Ezekiel's wrist and hurried them along. "Let's go before I lose my temper and give that guy the same treatment I gave that creep couple at the restaurant."
"Oh, I doo'nt knoo', I think that's moo'r fun to watch than a movie."
She giggled. "You really do know how to flatter me, my Zeke."
When they were in their auditorium, Ezekiel grew worried when he saw that it was about half-full; if Izzy got bored during this movie, she would upset a good deal of people.
He desperately pondered over what to do. Though he would love to hear Izzy make jokes and shout at the movie, he knew that others wouldn't like it. Tyler had actually instructed him on what to do if Izzy got bored, but he wondered if that was a good idea...
"Now Zeke man, let me tell you something about going to the movies with a girl," Tyler said to him when Izzy had left to get ready to go out. "You want to watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy."
"Why those two, eh? They seem rather different."
"Horror movies make a girl practically climb on you," Tyler said, chuckling. "Lindsay and I watched Stay Alive together, and she was in my lap before the third scene."
Ezekiel wondered if that was good or bad, because that might obstruct his view of the movie. The fact that a girl would be sitting on his lap didn't seen to top not being able to see the movie until later.
"Now if she wants to watch a girlie chick flick, let her. Chicks really appreciate it when you watch it with them, even if it's boring as hell."
"My mother loves to watch Sleepless in Seattle, eh. That's not boring, but isn't that a chick flick?"
"Well yeah, but that movie's kind of an exception, dude. It's a classic, and they don't make romantic comedies like that anymore. If you're stuck in a boring chick flick, you have one of three missions:
"One, you hold her hand throughout the movie, and squeeze it during touching moments. Two, you slowly get your arm around her shoulders and pull her closer; don't try this unless you're sure, because your arm might go numb if you wait too long. Three, you make sure no one is seated nearby, and you two make out."
Ezekiel raised his eyebrows in surprise. Tyler chuckled, then he asked, "Oh, you two have made out, haven't you?"
"Errr, well," Ezekiel stammered, blushing bright red. He wanted to say, "I doo'nt want to kiss and tell," but Tyler was grinning as he translated his friend's nervous reply.
"Awesome, dude. Now when watching a chick flick, just try to think of something to distract yourself when it gets really girlie. Like... what the actress looks like naked."
"Dude..."
"No man, I'm serious. I watched The Other Boelyn Girl with Lindsay, and the whole time, I was thinking, 'This would be so much easier if these two hot actresses weren't wearing thick, unrevealing dresses'."
When Izzy came down, she asked Ezekiel what he wanted to see. When he gave her the two movie suggestions Tyler had given him, Izzy shrugged.
"Romantic comedies are boring," she remarked, "but horror movies are great! The music in them helps put me to sleep!"
Tyler slapped his forehead. "Maybe you two should watch an action movie."
Ezekiel tried to find a place where no one else was nearby. He managed to find a few empty rows on the left side, and they sat near the wall.
"Are you trying to get us an out of the way place so that you can make out with me?" she asked, looking at him slyly.
He panicked. "No no no! I was, eh, trying to get us alone so you could, um, make... jokes... during the movie?" Ezekiel's voice slowly faded as Izzy continued to stare at him, her smirk unwavering. He sighed and pulled his toque down in front of his eyes. "Well yes, but only if the movie is bad, eh."
He waited for her to lash out at him, but all she did was yank his toque up off his eyes. "Maybe, my Zeke."
When they sat down, however, another couple sat right behind them. Ezekiel sighed, his hopes of kissing Izzy was completely dashed. Maybe he could hold her hand or wrap his arm around her shoulders instead.
"Yeah right," Izzy was shouting at the screen. "I'm not gonna go out and buy a $600 cell phone because I saw an ad in the movie theater!"
Ezekiel chuckled, smiling at her. "That does kind of seem silly, eh."
"Yes! Why do they play these commercials? We go to the movie theater because we don't like what's on TV, we want to avoid commercials!"
Izzy let out a disgusted sigh as a musical ad for a sugar drink started to play. "This song sucks," she shouted. "It makes me not want to buy the drink, because I'm tasting copper in my mouth right now-"
She was cut off when her chair was kicked from behind, almost knocking her out of her chair. "Shut the hell up," the guy behind her snapped.
Both Ezekiel and Izzy turned around to glare at him. "Excuse me?" Izzy snarled. "I have a right talk here, you know."
"We're here to watch a movie, not listen to you talk," the guy said. He was a big guy with a Heather-like brunette hanging on his arm, a haughty look on her face and a steamed look on his.
"The movie's not playing right now, eh," Ezekiel exclaimed.
"Just turn around and shut up. And take off that stupid hat, I want to be able to watch the film."
Izzy's eye twitched. "No one," she growled, climbing up on her seat, "calls my boyfriend's toque... stupid!"
She grabbed the large drink that the couple had in-between them, and brought it down on the guy, drenching him with soda and ice.
The girl gasped as her date sputtered. He wiped his eyes as he shivered from cold and rage. "That's it, you bitch, I'm getting the manager. C'mon, Valerie!"
Ezekiel and Izzy watched them go. The prairie boy was torn between thanking Izzy for doing that, or chastising her for getting them kicked out this early. So he settled for both.
"Servers him right, but it's too bad we woo'nt get to see the movie now, eh."
"Not if I can help it. Follow me!"
Izzy grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the other side of the auditorium. Once there, they sat as close to the wall as possible. Izzy snatched Ezekiel's toque, turned it inside out so that the bobble was hidden, and began to stuff all of her red hair into the hat as she fit it on her head.
"Gimme your jacket too, my Zeke," she instructed. He did as told, and she quickly put it on herself.
"You want my pants too, Izzy?" he asked, mildly sarcastic.
"Later, dear, later."
About a minute later, the couple came back, a man in a suit and armed a flashlight with them. They first headed over to where Izzy and Ezekiel were originally seated, then they started to search all of the seats.
"It's like martial law when a customer is offended in a retail store," Izzy remarked as Ezekiel nervously watched the three search for them. "It's a sad evil that lurks in this world, and won't be stomped out until something else is."
"What's that, eh?"
"Jerks."
The manager and the couple were now searching the middle of the seats. Ezekiel began to nervously shake. How much trouble were they going to get into? Would they they be asked to leave? Would they call the police? Would they have to pay the six dollars for the drink?
"You think Courtney is the type of person who gets fussy at retail people?" Izzy mused, looking alarmingly calm. "I'll bet she is. Duncan too, only he's aggressive. I'll bet even Lindsay would get agitated at retail workers, she is a spoiled rich girl, despite how nice she is..."
"Izzy, they're going to be coming here soon, eh," Ezekiel whispered, really starting to shake now. His mind spun, and horrible images of possible outcomes came to mind: him being handcuffed, Izzy being tasered, him opening his wallet and giving six dollars to that creep...
"Lindsay's probably used to retail workers making mistakes," Izzy mused. "I mean, when she's got cleavage like that, any male cashier is going to be thinking, 'Okay, she wanted a cheese-boobie, large fries, and a diet Knockers-Cola."
"Izzy, they're coming, eh," he whispered frantically.
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"Here, like this!"
She grabbed his shirt and started to kiss him, running her fingers through his hair. Ezekiel very suddenly felt like he was in a protective shield, and nothing could get to him. He swooned and held her back.
"Hey you two."
A flashlight was shone in their faces, focusing on the inside-out toque on Izzy's head. "Is that them?" the manager asked the couple.
The guy glared at the two, also staring at the toque, which looked like an overstuffed beanie. The gal was tapping her chin, and she murmured, "I think it's them, but I'm not sure..."
Izzy looked Ezekiel, confused and desperate; her plan had obviously failed. The prairie boy sighed, and turned to the couple and the manager.
"Was bedeutet das?" he asked, then he frowned. "Ich war gerade mit meiner Freundin! Holen Sie sich, dass Licht aus meinem Gesicht!" [1]
"Oh my," the girl exclaimed, looking worried. "I'm pretty sure it's not them."
"Sorry to disturb you, sir," the manager said as the three hurried off.
"Lassen Sie uns in Frieden," Ezekiel shouted at them as they retreated. "Ihre Mutter war ein Hamster und Ihr Vater roch der Holunder!" [2]
After the manager and the couple left, he let out a long sigh of relief and looked at Izzy. She had the most impressed smile on her face.
"German," he explained. "Dad did always say it's the language that sounds toughest when angry-"
Izzy wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulled him close, and kissed him passionately. The two continued to make out throughout the rest of the commercials and the trailers.
"You're such a wonderfully brilliant genius," she cooed as she planted light smooches on his neck.
"Mein Gott, ich liebe dieses Mädchen," he thought, unable to stop from swooning. [3]
"Welcome back to Total Drama Action," Chris Maclean's cheerful voice was starting up the next episode of TDA, as the eleven ex-competitors watched anxiously (most of them anxious because they wanted him to get it over with).
"Last time, we were forced to even the teams, due to Trent's foul play during some of the previous challenges. Harold volunteered to join the Screaming Gaffers, and by 'volunteer,' I mean 'Duncan pushed him'! So they ventured into a jungle set, on an archeological search for a priceless idol!
"Harold proved to be a true Indiana Jones fan, almost as big as me! So dun-da-dun-dunnnn, dah dah daaaaah... he won! Leshawna was not happy, and she rallied the other campers to vote off Duncan for what he had done. Say hello to Courtney for us, punk boy!
"Now we are down to nine campers, and things are starting to liven up! Will our actors rise up in the night, or will they lay down with the dead? Is Gwen going to liven up too, or is Heather going to drag the team into the grave? And will Izzy and Ezekiel try to sneak onto the set again? They'd better not try, because they might be eaten alive!
"All these questions will be answered on this episode of Total... Drama... Action!"
Courtney huffed as the theme song played. "They'd better not try to sneak back on again," she snarled. "They don't deserve to be on TV if they're not part of the competition."
"They're on a date tonight, Courtney," Tyler grumbled. "They're at the movies, not the movie sets."
"Quiet," Eva shouted. "The episode is starting!"
On the screen, the campers were at lunch right in café tent. Gwen looked positively miserable; her eyes were heavy, and she had a kleenex to her nose. Leshawna was rubbing her back, trying to comfort the depressed goth girl.
"I am tho sthick of thith place," Gwen muttered, her voice slurred by her cold. She blew her nose hard and added, "I swear, I want to be voted off at this point."
"Don't say that, girlfriend," Leshawna chastised her. "A million dollars is worth a terrible cold."
Harold was watching from afar, gazing longfully at Leshawna. After he sighed, the camera cut to a Dressing Cam Confession.
(Dressing Cam - It stinks of nail polish remover, thanks to Lindsay.)
Harold - "Watching Leshawna watch over Gwen is like watching an angel of mercy. She's so nice and beautiful and kind and yet still so tough and strong..."
\He swoons, then pounds the counter.\ "Dang it! Why couldn't I have that head cold so she'd watch over me? ... Oh wait, we're not on the same team anymore."
Gwen - "I really have had enough of this place! I didn't even want to be here, and what have I got in return?"
\She slams her fist on the counter at every listing.\ "The crappiest and worst food ever made, a back stabbing bitch like Heather trying to undermine me every turn, knocked to the side at the end of the first season and dragged by contract into the next season, and then my heart ripped out and stomped because..."
\She sighs hard and rests her hands on her forehead.\ "... I really thought Trent and I could be something great. And then he completely lost it. I... I really wish the best for him after this show is over, I... I just..."
\Gwen screams out in frustration, and throws a jar of red make-up, splattering it all over the mirror where her head is. She sinks down on the counter and sobs.\
Chris Maclean entered the cafeteria. "Okay actors, we'll be starting the challenge tonight when the sun starts to go down. Because this type of movie should only be shown at night!"
"Is it a vampire movie?" Lindsay asked, looking pleased. "Like something from Twilight? Ooo, I love that series!"
Harold scoffed. "Those are emo, glittery-faced, non-transforming, pansy vampires. They'd get their ass handed to them by real vampires."
"Hey," Lindsay whined. "Darold, they're not emo!"
"All young people are emo," Chris remarked, smirking. "But no, not vampires. Another form of undead!"
"Mummies?" asked Owen.
"Weird goth people?" asked Heather, looking at Gwen.
"Zombies?" Harold exclaimed.
"Correct, Harold," the host declared. "Tonight, in honor of the awesome movie The Wrath of the Dead, now playing in theaters everywhere, we are going to be doing the Zombie Movie!"
"Most excellent awesome," Harold cheered, leaping up and pumping his fists.
(Dressing Cam - Night of the Living Confessions!
\The campers talking to the camera are trying to talk around the red paint stain in the center of the mirror.\
Harold - "Ooo, I see Chris already has fake blood set up! Awesome! I've seen all the zombie films, even the really crappy one, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies! No, I didn't make that title up. Hehe, what idiots, huh?" [4]
Beth - "I don't know if I really want to do this, zombies really freak me out! I wonder if Justin will hold my hand during this challenge..." \She blushes and swoons at the thought.\
DJ - "BLOOD ON THE MIRROR!? IT'S THE ZOMBIES!! AAAAAAH!" \He runs out screaming.\
Lindsay - "Ezekiel? Y-Scope? Are you hiding in here again? Did you two trash this place?"
Gwen looked completely unmotivated. Leshawna was still trying to comfort her, but Heather and DJ were too nervous.
"We really going to see zombies?" DJ whimpered, exchanging a glance with Heather.
"They're probably just interns dressed up as zombies who are instructed to bite us," Heather said.
"Bite us?!"
"LEGAL says we are not allowed to have our interns bite you," Chris said. "But we have a wild surprise for you. Most of the fake zombies are actually zombie buffs who offered their expert make-up and zombie acting skills into this?"
"You hired zombie buffs?" Leshawna asked, startled.
"There are zombie buffs?" Heather asked, just as incredulous. "What nerds."
"Careful, Heather," Chris said. "If they know you're making fun of their zombie pride, you might end up as a zombie's raw dinner!"
This actually unnerved Heather more than she thought it was. She grabbed the arm of the nearby person and whimpered. DJ looked rather confused by this.
"The rules are simple," the host continued. "Your two teams are mercenaries, as experienced with zombies as you may or may not be. You are being paid to go into the infected town, infiltrate the lab where the zombification immunity vaccine is. You are all armed with paint ball pistols that are filled with red paint, and you will find refills throughout the town.
"Just don't let any zombies grab you! They have fake blood on their hands, and if you get fake blood on you, you are dead!"
Harold looked annoyed by this. "Zombies can't infect you just by grabbing you, gosh!"
"Well Harold, our interns cannot bite or scratch you," Chris said, shrugging. "Sorry dude, but these are going to be the rules. Just think of it this way: most people who get grabbed by zombies in the movie get killed."
"Hmmm, that's true," Harold said. "But we're mercenaries, and well-armed people are always killed the zombies, or are the evil government agents there to kill survivors."
"This one's different, it's my zombie movie," the host declared, throwing his hands up. "Oh, and everyone, no trying to cheat! If you're grabbed, you're out! But of course, if you shoot any zombies or fellow mercenaries, your team or not, they are out!"
(Dressing Cam - Still with the red paint on the mirror.)
Heather - "I'd like to quickly point out that there is nothing between DJ and I. I know you nerds out there love to take anything out of context. So shove it."
Justin - "Zombies? UGH! They are, like, more anti-me than Noah is! Rotting skin, matted hair, hollow eyes..." \Justin begins to shiver and hugs himself.\
Owen - "Boy, Harold's really into this. I'm glad he's on our team, because those smelly zombies are bad!" \He farts.\
Gwen - \She doesn't say anything. She just sinks down on the counter and sighs, looking very downcast.\
"Just shoot him!!"
Izzy's loud order at the character on the screen was met with a lot of "shhhh's" and angry comments. This had been the second time she had shouted at the screen, and the protests were stronger this time.
"He's been staring at this zombie for half a minute," Izzy grumbled to Ezekiel. "Half a minute, I counted, and he didn't even really know the guy. Why doesn't he just shoot him!? He had no problem blowing away his own brother when he became a zombie."
Ezekiel had to agree. It also upset him that the crowd was shushing Izzy over a couple comments, when earlier, during a sex scene that was long and rather embarrassing (for him), the guys were whooping, cheering, and wolf-whistling. No one shushed them, but they'd shush Izzy.
The movie continued to draw out, and Izzy was getting really tired of human beings interacting. "I'm here to see zombies," she shouted when she reached her limit. "I wanna see ghouls eating people!"
Once again, people shushed her. The people sitting in front of them looked around to glare at her, but Izzy didn't notice.
"Zeke, is there any chance I could enter this movie and force them to input more zombies?"
"Soo'ry, I doo'nt think so."
Izzy got her wish soon, and it wasn't what she wanted. The feisty punk girl, who both Izzy and Ezekiel liked, was bitten by a zombie. This shocked both of them, but not as much as when the main character put a bullet in her skull without so much as warning her.
"Man, I didn't even get to nail her," he muttered to his friend, who shrugged indifferently.
"DICKWEED," Izzy hollered over the laughter. Once again, people shushed her and shouted for to be quiet, but the redhead had had enough.
"Let's go, Zeke," she said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him out of the theater. Though Ezekiel wanted to stay a little longer, he also was very irked by this development in the movie.
"It was like some stupid male fantasy written by a jerk," Izzy lamented as they left the theater. "He saved hot babes that were all the more happy to have sex with him, the only girl who wouldn't they kept trying to make her look like a bitch, and he was such a Gary Stu!"
"A what?"
"A Gary Stu is a male character who's far too perfect for his own good, the male version of a Mary Sue," she explained. "See, he had perfect aim with guns, he could punch zombies heads off, he could use a sledgehammer and over large weapons without looking tired, and all women except for Amanda wanted him.
"And since Amanda didn't want him, they tried to make her look like a witch and then killed her as a punch line."
Ezekiel nodded, fascinated. "How do you knoo' these things, Izzy?"
"You learn a lot when you surf the web," she explained, grinning. "Course, you can get scarred a lot too." She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "There's a lot of weirdos and psychos on the internet!"
"So I've heard. Sounds creepy."
"Not all of it. I like to change Wikipedia pages to something fun, like how I made a page for fluffernutter. Fluffernutter didn't exist until I put it up there, and suddenly, everyone knew what fluffernutter was and wanted one!" [5]
"What is a fluffernutter?"
"Peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich."
At first, this sounded revolting to Ezekiel, but then he actually thought about it, and it sounded good. The two continued to chat as they walked, talking about anything from fluffernutter to zombies.
"I wish I could watch a real zombie movie now, a good one," Izzy said. "I know the zombie fatalities in that movie were great, but it lacks appeal when your character is an asshole."
"Want to go rent a movie?"
"Nah, I have a better plan," Izzy said, her wild grin forming on her face. "Why watch a zombie movie when you can live one?"
Harold lowered his paint ball pistol as the zombie with a "fatal" head shot collapsed.
"Always go for the head," he said. "Zombies can only be destroyed by a bullet to the head."
His Screaming Gaffers nodded, and then the zombie moaned on the ground, "Actually dude, we're instructed to go down if you get us in the chest too."
"Oh okay thanks."
"No problem. Nice shot, by the way."
"Thanks, and awesome make-up job, by the way."
"Aww, thanks."
Harold looked around at his teammates. "Now normally you don't split up in horror movies, but it is best in a zombie movie. Beth and Justin, you be with me. Owen and Lindsay, work together, and Lindsay? Make sure to watch over Owen, he'll attract a lot of zombies, if you know what I mean?"
Lindsay cocked her head to the side in confusion, obviously not getting what Harold meant. Owen nodded and patted his stomach. "No zombie's making a meal out of me!"
Harold, Justin, and Beth headed off. Lindsay and Owen walked a different way, her looking still confused but alert. She didn't want to let Owen down, because not only did Harold instruct her to watch him, but she liked him a lot.
"So... Omar, no wait, Owen, right?"
"Yep."
"Do you...," she tapped her painted lips in deep thought, "um, do you like anyone here on the show?"
"Oh, I like everyone," he said. "I think everyone here is really cool and fun! Except for Heather, but maybe she just needs a hug."
Lindsay wondered if one of Owen's giant, warm hugs could change Heather; however, this was not what she meant.
"No, I mean, do you, like, like anyone here?"
Owen was confused. "Um, what's the difference between like and like like?"
"Like like is a crush, I guess."
Before Owen could reply, a trio of zombies came shambling towards them on Lindsay's side. Lindsay squealed in terror and fired wildly, but all of her shots missed. The three zombies pounced her, smearing fake blood on her.
Owen, recovering from the shock, let out a loud cry and shoved the zombies away. Pointing his gun dramatically, he blasted each of them with accurate paint ball shots. The zombie imitators collapsed.
The big guy propped up Lindsay's head; the blond was pretending to act dead, remember Chris's rules and following them (maybe just a little too closely). Owen, swept up in the drama, let out a pained howl.
"No, not Lindsay," he wailed. "Why her? Why couldn't it have been me? My Lindsay, why were taken from me?"
He held her by the shoulders and gave her a long, sad kiss. Lindsay's eyes shot open, but she closed them in fear Chris might see her not acting dead. When the kiss was over, she also had to avoid swooning; Owen was actually a pretty good kisser.
"I will avenge thee, my Lindsay, in the name of See's Candy!"
Owen picked up her gun, holding it and his own gun in the air, ran off roaring. The "dead" zombies looked up and exchanged glances.
"Wow, dude, that was totally dramatic," one of them said.
"Yeah man. Lucky duck, he got to smooch that girl."
"I thought that was a little icky, she was dead."
"Well, not really. See? She's alive."
"Yeah, but she was acting dead."
"We're acting like dead zombies, but we're talking."
"Ah, touché."
Lindsay simply lay there, still pretending to be dead. This was actually perfect for her, because not only was she lying down comfortably, but it gave her time to think about her predicament with Owen and Tyler.
Elsewhere on the set, DJ was huddling in a corner, whimpering in fear. Heather was nearby him, while Leshawna and Gwen were off as another group.
"DJ, suck it up," she said, blunt as ever. "We're not getting anywhere with you like this."
He looked up with big, sad eyes. She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Look, do you want me to hold your hand or something?"
The big guy nodded, and she, very regretfully took his hand. Leading him on, she tried not to think about what others would say about this, but she also realized there had been many more embarrassing things that had happened to her.
They traveled for some time without being attacked by zombies, which puzzled Heather. The answer to that came eventually, when they saw a bunch of the zombie imitators with paint shots on them lying on the ground.
"Someone's ahead of us," Heather remarked. "DJ, c'mon, we have to pick up the pace!"
"I don't mind, so long as the zombies are dead," DJ whimpered. "I don't want them to be eaten by them."
"Dude," one of the collapsed "zombies" said, "we're not allowed to bite you."
"Quiet, you fool," one of the other undead actors hissed, "we're supposed to be dead!"
"I don't know why," a third zombie said. "I mean, I don't think that redhead or the boy in the toque are in the contest."
This baffled Heather. Redhead? Toque? They rang bells, but no one in the contest was either of those... except Izzy and the sexist, home schooled boy.
Chris Maclean was monitoring the screens, only half-concentrating. He might have noticed Izzy and Ezekiel running around, shooting every fake zombie they could with paint ball pistols; however, the handsome host had an attractive lady on sitting next to him.
"Like what you see, babe?" he asked slyly.
The woman shrugged, moving her large (and fake) breasts. It was a motion Chris Maclean noticed and appreciated. He pulled her closer and said, "After the challenge, you want to go see Wrath of the Dead?"
"I hate zombies. This is boring to watch too."
This struck a sour note to Chris. Sure, he was only seeing her because of limited reasons (and very few of them about her personality); however, her not liking cool things like zombies or the show he was on irked him deep down. It was almost embarrassing.
But hey, she had a large rack and was more than eager to spend time draped on his shoulder and more for some TV time. That more than made up for it.
Chris watched as Justin was dragged down by zombies. Harold and Beth wildly shot at the zombies, then made a break for it, shouting apologies to Justin. The male model, smeared with fake blood all over, left in a furious huff.
"Chris Maclean," he shouted at a camera, "if this fake blood doesn't come out of my hair, you are going to hear from my lawyers and my agencies!"
This actually made Chris worried a little; if anyone had legal power, it would be Justin, To calm himself down, he pulled his bimbo onto his lap and made out with her, squeezing two of the reasons he was seeing her.
In the game, Harold and Beth were busy fighting more zombies. They were surrounded, and the farm girl's gun was clicking empty. "This is it, Harold," Beth wailed. "I'm sorry!"
Harold snarled as he shot another zombie. "I'll see peace on earth if I have to shoot every one of these bastards myself!"
The zombies closed in. Beth wrapped her arms around Harold and whimpered, awaiting the inevitable zombie feast. Harold was still shooting, but he would soon be overrun...
Paint balls shot from the shadows, nailing the zombies. Mowed down in a flurry of red paint, soon all of the ghoul impersonators were lying on the ground.
Harold and Beth were surprised, and even more when Ezekiel and Izzy stepped out of the shadows, holding paint ball pistols up in the air.
"What are you two doing here?" Harold asked.
"Killing zombies and chewing bubble gum," Izzy replied, blowing at the barrel end of the pistol, "and we're all out of bubble gum."
"You can thank Izzy, she found us our guns, eh," Ezekiel said. "Also, I'm pretty sure she hit more of those zombies."
"That's right, I'm bad!"
Harold and Beth managed to overcome their shock, then the lanky nerd cleared his throat. "Well, thanks for saving us," he said. "And I gotta say, awesome shooting and timing."
"Just like in the movies," Izzy exclaimed. "Oh, but not Wrath of the Dead. That movie sucked."
"Thanks for saving me eight and a half bucks."
"You're welcome. Now, do you know where more zombies are? My bloodlust is not sated yet."
"There's some back there that we escaped from," Beth said, pointing back the way they had come from.
"Thank you. Come, my Zeke," Izzy said as she sprinted off in the direction Beth pointed. "In Amanda's memory! For the punk girl!"
"For the punk girl, eh!"
The contest was over soon enough, after Harold and Beth found the zombification immunity vaccine and returned it to the trailer grounds. All the others were there, most of them smeared with fake blood.
"Well done, you two," Chris Maclean said, his arm around his well-downed companion. "The Screaming Gaffers have won the day again!"
Owen and Lindsay burst into cheering, the big guy hugging Harold and the blond beauty hugging Beth. Justin was too busy trying to scratch out the fake blood on his skin, looking into a mirror with a disgusted look.
The Screaming Gaffers hung their heads in shame. DJ and Heather was smeared all over with the fake blood, and though Leshawna and Gwen were clean, the goth girl looked the most crestfallen. Leshawna was eyeing the bimbo Chris had his arm around, disgusted by the host's obvious flaunting.
"I'll see you four at the Award Ceremony tonight, so pick your favorite loser," Chris said. "Shame none of you have a hot date like I do. Like you, Gwen!"
He laughed, cruel as usual. Most expected Gwen to glare or make a sarcastic remark back, but the goth girl let out a pained sob. She walked over to the ladies' trailer and slammed the door behind her.
This only made Chris laugh louder. Some of the others, especially Leshawna and Beth, were glaring hateful daggers at him; however, karma retribution came not from them, but a red paint ball hitting the host on the back of the head.
After Chris flinched, he felt back there and his hand came back with bright red paint. He screamed in panic, running away shouting, "Make up! Help help, I have a hair emergency! Yargh!"
The actors, though most laughing, looked for who fired that paint ball. They only saw a glimpse of fluttering red hair and a bouncing toque bobble.
Leshawna went inside the girl's trailer. Gwen was sitting on her bed, more upset than ever.
"Gwen girlfriend," she said, putting her arm around the goth's shoulders, "don't let that asshole's words get you down. You know he's just a mean jerk."
"I cannot help it," Gwen whispered. Her voice sounded distant. "I feel so terrible. I didn't want to do that to Trent but... but..."
She sighed and hung her head. "Leshawna, I want you to vote me off."
"Oh no no no, sister. You almost won last season, and you can win this time-"
"I don't want to," Gwen said firmly. "I never wanted to join this God damn contest. I'm sick of it all.
"I'm sick of the food that makes me want to puke, made specifically for that! I'm sick of dealing with back stabbers like Heather and schemers like Justin! And most of all, I'm sick to death of feeling this awful."
The goth girl shook her head. "I don't deserve to be here anymore. Just vote me off."
"Gwen, I'm not going to do that to you."
"Then I'll vote for myself, and I'll ask DJ and Heather to vote me off too. I'm not staying here any more, not one more torturous, self-deprecating moment."
Leshawna wanted to argue, but she had seen this kind of attitude. Gwen looked depressed and unwavering, and Leshawna knew, deep down, she'd never convince her friend otherwise, especially in the short amount of time she had.
"Gwen, I want you to promise me something."
"What?"
"You're going to keep in contact with Leshawna, and you'll cheer for her at the finals."
Gwen managed to smile, very briefly, and nodded. She hugged her friend, and when Leshawna hugged her back, the goth girl began to cry.
Ezekiel and Izzy made it back to Playa des Losers 2 around late evening. They were laughing, their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders.
"I got such a good head shot there," Izzy said, miming the way she aimed and shot the back of Chris's head. "Did you see that? I mean, if only it was a real sniper, that would have been even more awesome!"
When they were in the hotel, they were met with the very angry face of Courtney. "You two," she said, very slowly and brimming with fury, "snuck on the set... AGAIN!!"
"Yep," Izzy said happily, hugging Ezekiel from the side and kissed his cheek. "What a wonderful second date!"
"You cannot do this," Courtney roared, stomping over to them. "You two immature, lawbreaking, despicable, uncontrollable-"
Bridgette came running up to them, looking frantic. "Guys! Courtney! Please come, I need your help!"
Courtney still looked furious and grudgingly followed Bridgette, as did the young couple. Bridgette led them to a wet bar, which was set up for any adults at the resorts.
However, the only patrol was Tyler. He sat with his head in his shoulders, a drink in his hand. [6]
"Has he been drinking?!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Yes, I think he has," Bridgette remarked.
"How much?"
Tyler moaned when he heard the four coming towards them. "Ish... ish that Courtney? Tell her to shtop yelling, my earsh could bleed."
"I think quite a lot, eh," Ezekiel muttered.
"Everything ish ruined," Tyler continued to sob. "My girlfriend... she'sh kishing another man! She wantsh that fat bashtard and not me!"
The drunk jock pounded the counter again. "Why? Why?!"
Bridgette rubbed his back. "Tyler, it's not over. Owen kissed Lindsay, not the other way around-"
"But she didn't fight him," the jock shouted. "And I'm shure Chrish found it hilarioush! He'll mention it next epishode, I know it!"
Courtney nervously drummed her fingers on her other hand. "Maybe you've had enough, Tyler-"
"That bashtard, he'sh sho happy to break people up," he continued. "He broke up Gwen and Trent, he wash laughing when they shplit, grinning and smirking and sho proud of himself for caushing them such heartbreak!
"Now he'sh doing it to me too," Tyler wailed. "And it's not good enough that he'sh letting that fat jerk smooch Lindshay... but... but... he'sh making out with my mother!"
Courtney and Bridgette gasped and covered their mouths. Ezekiel and Izzy nervously looked around. "Um, that was your mom?" Izzy asked, uncertainly.
"Yesh! She... she musht have got implantsh shince I lasht shaw her," he muttered, gagging slightly. "She'sh... she'sh such a gold digger... I shtill cannot believe she blew ush off during the cushtody... all she wanted wash money."
"Probably why she's seeing Chris Maclean," Izzy remarked. The others looked at her, letting her know that was inappropriate. "Oh, sorry."
Tyler continued to sob into his arms, his drink falling down and spilling out the side. The four continued to watch, until someone approached them from behind.
"Guys?" It was Cody. "Is he all right?"
"I don't think so," Courtney remarked. "He needs to go up to his room and sleep this off; he's going to end up with one hell of a hangover. Cody, can you do it?"
"Sure." As the tech-geek started to prop the sloshed jock on his shoulder, Courtney was instructing Cody. "Make sure he's on his side. If he throws up and he is on his back or chest, he could drown in his own vomit."
"That's a terrible way to go," Ezekiel whimpered.
"Yeah, not the way I want to go," Izzy said. "I want my death to involve explosives, at the least."
Courtney ignored them as she continued to instruct Cody. "It'd be best if you watch over him for a little while. Call one of us if you need to be replaced, but don't leave his side."
"How do you know all this?" he asked her.
"Part of being a CIT, Cody. I have to know what to do when someone tries to drink themselves into oblivion."
"Who's trying to drink themselves into oblivion?" Gwen was standing there, staring at the group. She had her suitcases in both hands.
"Gwen! Um... uh...," Cody stammered, looking between the drunk Tyler dangled on his shoulder and the goth girl of his dreams. "Tyler's... really upset."
"He looks like someone went at him with a wet tenderizer," she remarked.
It was a difficult moment for Cody. More than anything, he wanted to comfort Gwen about her being voted off TDA, to be there for her and be her friend; however, Tyler was starting to moan, sounding ready to throw up.
"I've... got to watch over Tyler for a little while," Cody explained. "Courtney, could you take over for me in about an hour?"
"Sure thing, Cody."
"I'm going to bed then," Gwen said. "Bridgette, could you show me where my room is?"
"Of course, Gwen."
Cody watched in sorrow as Gwen left, all hopes he could talk to her dashed. He left with Tyler, Courtney following them. As Bridgette led Gwen away too, Ezekiel and Izzy were left alone.
"Wow," Izzy said. "Sounds like we missed a really interesting episode."
Ezekiel and Izzy sat in the cafeteria together, late at night. The kitchen was closed, but because the prairie boy had made friends with the staff, they let him make a late night treat for him and Izzy.
"What did you make for me?" she asked, twiddling her fingers anxiously.
He grinned and set a plate in front of him, as well as a glass of milk. She looked at the sandwich and opened it, giggling as she saw the peanut butter and marshmallow.
"Fluffernutter," she cried out, and wolfed it down. Ezekiel was only half done as Izzy licked her fingertips.
"Did you like it?" Ezekiel asked her.
"Best fluffernutter I've ever had."
Before he could react, Izzy was sitting on his lap and straddling him. She took his head in her hands and lifted it up, grinning. She began to kiss him, her breath smelling like bread, marshmallow, and mostly peanut butter.
"A good fluffernutter puts Izzy in the mood," she said. "I'll have to add that on the Wikipedia page, that it is also a mild aphrodisiac."
"I'll have to make them moo'r often, eh."
"Ezekiel and fluffernutter," Izzy purred, smiling flirtatiously at him, "that's all Izzy needs."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and they kissed happily. It had, overall, been a great day for them.
End of Part 7.
Ezekiel and Izzy may be getting better, but looks like Cody, Gwen, and Tyler have some hard times ahead of them. Now that Gwen has joined PdL2, it's time for her healing process to begin, amends to be made, and Cody to comfort our favorite goth. For those of you who think she wouldn't be that upset, her official profile defines her as someone who is pessimistic and keeps herself unhappy.
I'd also like to point out, to prove I'm not making her a villain, that Courtney will not be holding Tyler's drunken period against him. She's not a slanderer like Heather is, and though she doesn't like Tyler that much, it's her job as a CIT to help set people straight.
Also, I'd like to point out that there is no movie called Wrath of the Dead.
[1] - "What is the meaning of this?" "I was with my girlfriend! Get that light out of my face!"
[2] - "Let us make out in peace!" "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
[3] - "My God, I love this girl."
[4] - Yes, I am seriously not making up that movie title. There is a movie called The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. It was on MST3K. It's a "zombie" movie with over ten really bad musical numbers, and you only really see zombies for the last ten minutes of the film.
[5] - Fluffernutter has existed for some time, but my brother refused to believe me when I told him this; he thinks I made up the word and created the Wikipedia page.
[6] - The drinking age in Canada is 19, so Wikipedia LIED to me (they're only right about fluffernutter). Tyler's only able to drink because they left the wet bar unattended. Please people, drink responsibly and at the right age.
