Chapter 7:
My first move was to call the brothers. It was probably nothing and I was freaking out for no reason. But no one answered. I started to panic: the demons knew where I was, they knew I was vulnerable thanks to that witch, and I couldn't defend myself. What if it wasn't nothing and they left me because I was too weak? I called Tom. And I was not proud of it. I was supposed to stand strong on my own two feet, be a powerful witch, and instead at the first defeat I ran back to the first man I could find. But it was either that or die, so principles didn't really matter…
"Tom, hi, it's me"
"What's wrong?" That's when I started to feel really bad. Obviously, if I were calling him it meant that I was in trouble and not that I cared about him enough to pick up the phone for no reason.
"I'm in a hospital…."
"How bad is it? What happened?"
"I was stabbed by a witch, but I'm fine now. Anyway, the Winchesters are gone, and I don't know what to do… Should I leave or do you think I'm safe?"
"Wait there, send me the address, I'm coming"
"Thanks, Tom"
It was as easy as that. A few days later I was released from the hospital and Tom took me home with him. For once, I did not protest, still too hurt by the Winchesters' betrayal. We did not talk about it. We did not talk much actually. His house was very different from the previous one, in the suburbs of a small countryside town of Arizona. I never thought Tom was the commuter, white-picket-fence type of guy. He went on with his life and I stayed in the shadows. He was very distant, probably convinced I would run away when the opportunity came. But I had no intention to do so. All the strength I had gained living with the Winchesters had gone with them. I was not a fighter, but a liability and that was why they had gone without saying goodbye. I had been left on the road like an old dog before holidays. My ideas of being a strong witch were just fantasies. At least, my anger made me stronger as far as my powers were concerned. But anger soon turned to guilt: the guilt of having been a burden, and of being one for Tom. Weeks after I left the hospital, we still barely spoke, which was understandable: not only did I leave him, but I came back when least expected it, and only because I had no one else to turn to. And it was time to apologize for that.
"I'm sorry for what I'm putting you through"
He looked stunned, probably because I had not said a word in a few days… or weeks, I don't remember.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're not putting me through anything"
We were at the dinner table, we had just finished eating.
"You have a life here. I came back and didn't even think of the consequences."
"There are no consequences. I'm fine. And you're safe, so everything's ok"
"I just wanted to say I know what I did and I'm sorry"
"It's alright."
Tom was such a teddy bear that everything went back to normal, as in before the Winchesters "normal". Except that I could not forget what happened. Except that demons left me alone, probably thinking I was still with them. So I finally had what I wanted, a normal life. I could study, hang out with Tom, with whom things nearly went back to the way they were before, apart from the fact that he sometimes looked at me like I was going to disappear any minute. I felt safe with Tom by my side, I was home. But I could not stop thinking about them, about the life I had with them. I wanted to prove them they were wrong.
"I need to hunt, Tom"
"Too dangerous."
"Training is not enough, I need to kill demons to take their strength, you know that"
"You have a normal life now, don't screw it up"
"I don't want to… But Fate is not going away because you want it to"
"You don't know that, they may leave you alone if they know you've stopped using magic"
"I haven't stopped, I'm training. I'm a witch, it won't go away"
"You know what I mean, I just want you to be safe"
"It's always the same issue, isn't it?"
"We tried your way, it didn't work, so trust me now, please"
"The hunters leaving me has nothing to do with this"
"I'm sorry"
"No, you're not"
I ran upstairs before my eyes filled with tears. I was acting like a child, which annoyed me all the more. They all thought I was weak, and crying was not going to help. Maybe they were all right though. Maybe I was only a weak child and it was too hard. Tom knocked at the door.
"Can I come in?"
"No."
He opened the door.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"What? Make me sad? I'm fine. Leave me alone"
He took me in his arms and stroke my hair.
"I didn't mean to patronize you. You have no idea how much I trust you. I'm just scared."
"I know. I'm scared too. That's why I want to grow stronger"
"Then we will, but don't leave me behind."
"Fine"
I did not get much sleep that night. I kept replaying the time I spent with the Winchesters in my head. What did I do wrong? You think you can trust someone, but it's just empty promises really. Why did I care that much? I could start all over, have the normal life I wanted… But I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove everyone I could do it. So the next day, I started training even harder – not only my powers, but my strength and stamina. And it worked: a month later, I started hunting again. Tom did not like it, but he was to scared to have me run away again to argue.
Months passed, I grew stronger, but I could not forget the Winchesters. They were like a scar that I could hide but would not disappear. I secretly wished that I would meet them again, only to show the brothers what they had lost.
