Here, have some feels.
She's lying in bed but her thoughts run around in her head, chasing each other, and so she can't sleep. She gets up and walks over to the window, opening it to let some cool air through. She's about to go back to bed, but then she notices a light on in the villa next door, and realizes that there's music playing softly through the window. She frowns, looking at the clock on her bedside table. It reads 2:00 AM. Why is he still up? She shakes her head, still intending to go back to bed and try to get some sleep.
But then an impulse strikes her, and without thinking it through, she grabs a sweater from her closet and walks out of the villa. It takes her only 10 seconds to reach her destination.
She raises her hand to knock on the door, and suddenly she realizes that maybe it wasn't such a brilliant idea to not have thought this through. What would she say to him anyway?
She's about to turn around and go back, but then she shakes her head, screws up her courage, and knocks on the door.
He answers after only a few seconds wait. He's wearing pyjamas and a white t-shirt. After spending many nights with him, she's used to him looking like this.
"Reyna! Hey."
"Hey. Can't sleep either?"
He shakes his head. "I was actually just going through some old stuff. It's weird being back here."
She says nothing.
"Wanna come in?" He stands back so she can enter.
"Actually I've a better idea for us insomnias."
He frowns for a moment, but then realizing what she means, he grins. "Come in for a sec, let me just get changed."
He disappears into his bedroom, and she bounces on her feet in the entrance hall while she waits.
He returns in a minute, his pyjamas traded in for gym shorts, and a sweater over his t-shirt.
"Ready?"
She smiles. "Are you?"
He grins, and pulls the door open. They race out, trusting their feet to know where to take them. A wind whips at their faces and clothes, but they keep going.
The run is exhilarating. Reyna feels her troubles falling away as she focuses on her breathing, the burning in her lungs, and her legs. She hasn't felt this free in months. As she runs, she pulls her braid loose and lets her hair fly out behind her. The run is instilling a euphoria in her and she lets a whoop.
Jason, who keeps pace with her, looks over and grins widely, then matches her wild cry with his own. They reach the base of a hill, but don't stop. They continue their race to the top, the incline increasing the burn in her legs. But she manages to reach the top a second ahead of Jason.
"Still first Grace," she tells him, grinning.
He bends over panting. "I suppose you'll always be."
Her heart squeezes, though whether from the lack of oxygen or the fact that he remembered the witty reply he always used, she can't tell.
After she catches her breath, she sits down, her legs outstretched in front of her. From where she sits, the valley of San Francisco Bay stretches out before her – a billion lights glow crawling out to the Bay. When night comes, it's like the valley becomes a whole other world.
Jason sits beside her and she smiles at him. "I haven't done that in months."
"Me either."
She rolls her eyes. "You reply with your usual Grace."
He playfully shoves her. Smirking, he says, "Nice sweater Avila."
She frowns and glances down. Noticing what she's wearing, she blushes.
"I thought you were through with me when you handed me back my t-shirt."
"This one belongs to me."
"Oh yea?"
"Yep."
He'd actually loaned her this sweater during one of their earliest quests. It was a cold night, and a monster had slashed through hers. She'd always meant to give it back, but over time, it started to feel like hers.
"I see. Guess I'm not getting that back."
"Don't expect it."
Silence falls between them.
But after a moment, she says what she's been meaning to say, "I'm sorry about the movie. I can't imagine how uncomfortable and embarrassing it must have been for Piper to sit through that."
He stares at her not saying anything.
"What?"
"You call her Piper, not my girlfriend."
"She's a person with a name. None of this is her fault."
He shakes his head. "Fifteen year old me was right. You never cease to amaze me!"
She smiles sadly at him. "What are we going to do Jason? I don't want to hate you."
He takes her hand tightly, interlacing his fingers with her. "Then don't. Let me in."
She doesn't let go. "I-" Her voice breaks. "I can't. It hurts."
"We can get past that. We'll work through it, like we've worked through everything else."
She shakes her head. "No. It hurts to be so close to you, and still so far away. To be near you, but not be able to touch, to hold you. Maybe we can be friends again one day, but I don't know if I can do that right now. And I know I should just let you go – it's the right thing to do. But the thought of losing you – all over again – terrifies me. You don't know what it was like all those months. The worry, the restlessness, the fear. I felt so small Jason, so powerless. It's how I feel right now. It's like I'm watching a horror story play out, and I'm screaming don't go in there, but I can't hear my own advice!"
Jason stares silently ahead, sadness etched onto his face. "I know what I feel right now for Piper, but that movie… the camera doesn't lie. When I first got my memories back, I remembered. I remembered Bobby, Dakota, Gwen. You. I remembered you. And I remember feeling guilty because I liked Piper, but there was something there that I felt for you. After a few months, though, that feeling, it…"
"Faded," she finishes quietly.
He nods, and she sighs.
Gently she pulls her hand away. He clutches it for a moment, but she says, "No."
He looks at her, the sadness deepening in his eyes. "Reyna…"
She tries for a smile. "Maybe it's a sign. It's time to move on. Let go."
"But the movie…"
"Those memories happened before you met Piper. Happened before you found your… true love." She forces the last words out.
"Reyna." He's reaching for her.
She can feel him holding on, and she wants him to, but she doesn't know how much more of this she'll be able to take. Tears sting her eyes, and she blinks them back. Stroking his cheek, she says. "I love you. I should have said that to you a long time ago. I love you Jason Grace, and maybe I will never stop loving you. But you have to let go. If you don't, I won't. And we can't live like this forever. We can't keep hurting each other." She presses her forehead to his head. "I will cherish the moments I had your love. You've done more for me than I can ever repay, and when you need me I shall be here. But your heart has moved on. It's time for the rest of you to. You can't spend the rest of your life feeling guilty."
She feels his warm breath on her face – and there's that attraction again, pulling her closer. But she fights it, and pulls away.
She gets up and starts to walk away, her insides aching – hollow and empty.
Jason watches her walk away, completely at a lost. He should be happy that she's let him go. He doesn't have to worry about jealousy, he can just enjoy being with Piper. But as she walks away, he feels like he's losing something important. Like with every step she takes, a little bit more of his lungs turns to dust. And he's finding it harder to breathe. He gets up to go after her, but he can't. He can't keep holding her back. She was right of course – he hadn't realized how much he was holding onto her until she walked away.
He lies down wishing he could yell and scream, but his voice doesn't work.
He thinks about the video they watched earlier. He watched himself tease, kiss, and hold hands with this girl, and he can't remember why he did any of that. He can't remember feeling that way about her. His problem was that mentally he didn't love her, but instinctively, he did. His heart knew something his mind didn't. Suddenly, he lets out a fierce growl. Ever since, Juno returned his memories, he's felt torn and out of place. And he doesn't know what to do. He's lost and confused, and he doesn't know who to ask for help.
Actually, maybe he does.
So he gets up and walks back to Camp. A few minutes later, he opens the door of the Fifth Cohort barrack. He can see Percy in the light streaming through the door. He walks over to him, and shakes him trying to wake him. But Percy grunts sleepily.
"Percy! Hey man, think we can talk?"
Percy opens his eyes a bit. "Wha- Can't it wait till morning Grace?"
Jason thinks about that. Maybe it could, but he doesn't think he can wait. "No."
His voice must have sounded extra serious, because Percy opens his eyes fully, regarding him seriously. "Ok."
They walk out of the barracks – heading to the quiet, empty Via Preatoria.
"What's up man?" Percy asks.
"Reyna," Jason says simply.
"Oh."
"She just told me she was letting me go."
"Did she?"
He nods.
"And?"
"I don't know Percy. It doesn't feel right."
"You'd think that it would though. Your ex-girlfriend tells you she's okay with you falling in love with another girl."
Jason stops and looks at Percy, surprised at the bitterness in the son of Poseidon's voice.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing. You just fell in love with another girl, while one waited here for you."
"Percy I'm trying to figure this thing out. Reyna and I technically weren't dating before I disappeared."
"But you did love her?"
Jason says nothing. His heart answers 'yes' but his brain scoffs at the question.
"And she loves you very much." Percy's voice is hard.
"How do you know?"
Percy laughs. "Dude, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I could tell. You didn't see the way her eyes turned sad the first day I arrived at Camp when we talked about you. The way she grimaced when Hazel said that you might still be alive – like she couldn't bear to hope. You didn't hear the despair in her voice when she said that I might have been sent to make up for your loss. She wanted me to help her save Camp Jason, but she needed you, and you didn't see any of that. You disappeared without any explanation, and showed up a completely new person."
Jason is stunned by Percy's fierce defense of Reyna, but he supposes he shouldn't be surprised. He'd glimpsed the friendship that had developed between the two over the past few days.
"You don't think I know that this is on me. That she's hurting because of me?"
"I don't think you fully understand it. You were at Camp Half Blood. How was Annabeth these past few months?"
"She was losing her mind."
"Do you think Reyna was any different?"
Jason says nothing, knowing deep down that everything Percy says is true.
"How come you remember everything so clearly?" Jason asks Percy. "You remember Annabeth, the way you felt about her."
"Annabeth cleared up all our doubts about our relationship right after the Titan War. We knew exactly where we stood with each other."
"It seems like I knew I loved Reyna. From the movie we watched tonight."
"Was it clear?"
Jason tries to think, pushing deep within his mind trying to pull out memories to help him make sense of this situation. "I- I think things might have changed when she became Preator. She was so busy, so distant. I had hoped things would get better when I became Praetor, but then the war happened, and after we were so busy cleaning up."
"So…no?"
Jason growls. "Why did Juno have to fuck everything up?"
Percy claps him on the shoulder. "Love like that doesn't go away Jason. It's instinct."
"It's like my mind says you're in love with Piper, but when I see Reyna, it's amazing. It feels right being next to her."
"I think in this case, you need to take my mom's advice: follow your heart man. It remembers something your brain doesn't. Trust it."
Jason nods. "This is so fucked up. What about Piper?"
"She's a daughter of love. I think she'll understand what true love means."
Jason says nothing, not sure what he's going to do. He knows that what he's feeling right now is real – that emptiness since Reyna walked away. He wants – no needs – her back. "Thanks man. Sorry I woke you up."
"It's cool. You just owe me now." And Percy walks away, back to the barracks, leaving Jason alone with his thoughts. Sure that he's not going to sleep, he heads back to the hill where he sat with Reyna, hoping for some sort of spiritual enlightenment.
