Zero finished preparing lunch, then walked back into the living room with a plate filled with soup? I wasn't sure what that was, but it smelled okay.

"I wasn't prepared to have guests, so I hope this is enough."

"I'll be fine..." I muttered when she placed the plate on the table in front of me.

She smiled and turned to leave, but I managed to grab her arm. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I wasn't sure if I should really stick my nose into her business. I knew i would brood over it all night if i didn't ask though.

"...Don't get me wrong... I appreciate that you give me a place to stay for tonight, but..." While I was looking for words she gently pried my hand off her arm and sat next to me, mindful to keep enough distance.

"You're confused. I understand." She smiled.

I was more than just confused. I was terrified. Lime changing so badly was scary, Arme's change was even more scary, but Zero being like this now...

"But if you think about it for a bit, it's not as scary." She tried to explain.

For some reason she reminded me of a mother, one that had some screws lose.

"So what am I supposed to think about? You all turned into creepy people and I don't think i know any of you anymore... I don't even know myself anymore!" And there I went, blabbing about my own problems to a person that could be someone I met on the street.

She nodded with a smile. "Dio wasn't fond of this in the beginning either. He refused to talk to me at all." She giggled. "The reason why all of us act so strange to you, is that the sides of our personalities that were suppressed the most are now the most dominant ones."

For a moment i stared at her. Then I frowned. That actually made sense. We all knew Arme was a sadist, but she always held back. And we also all knew that Zero wasn't truly as emotionless as a rock. I also knew that Lass was scared of being who he really was. I had no idea about Lire because i never spent much time with her... But Lime?...

"What happened to Lime...?" I asked without realizing until it was too late.

"Lime's case is a little different..." Zero sighed. "I think it's because she didn't die by something she couldn't influence... maybe the emotions she carried inside her when she lost her life were transferred into this life."

"That's a theory, right?"

Zero nodded. "I can't say for sure. But who can anyway? Now eat, it's getting cold."

I slowly took the spoon and began eating, my mind still racing.

"I thought I'd get a heart attack when you barged into the room earlier..."

Zero laughed. "I was just too excited. Sorry about that. I've calmed down now..."

"I hope so... and don't ever shove your chest into my face again-"

Dio appeared at the doorframe just when i said that. But instead of charging at me and ripping my head off like I expected him to, he just stood there with a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk on his face.

He did seem a lot calmer than how I remembered him to be, but... was he really not jealous? I began to worry about their love life for a moment. It wasn't something I should be interested in, but somehow I got curious. How did they manage?

"I told you to stop doing that..." Dio muttered with a fake pout.

"He wouldn't have believed me if I had just told him." Zero laughed and stood, then wrapped her arms around Dio and I tried to tone out the kiss they shared. I didn't need to see that.

"You made her blush." I heard Dio whisper.

"She could have looked away." Zero giggled.

I wanted to die. She. Yeah i did look like a woman, but I didn't want o t be treated like one. Just what had I done to deserve this? And while I knew it was utterly pointless, I still wanted to return home. Having my perfect little lie back, not worrying about if anything was just a facade or not.

"How... did you manage?" I found myself asking. Maybe whatever they did would help me getting back to Lime... even though we were opposites now... It was pointless to beg for something I couldn't get, so I had to get used to it. I knew it was going to be hard, and at that moment I had no idea if I would even find the courage to try.

Dio shrugged. "We've been a pretty weird couple before this..."

Right. No one ever understood those two, of course they would have found a way.

"You see," Zero continued, "Since I have all my memories from back then there wasn't much different for me."

"You're female now..." I muttered. "And... got a pretty scary change in personality..."

"Hey it's not like I got used to that right away either." Dio complained. "But love has no rules." He shrugged.

"Do you think there's a chance that Lime... will ever forgive me?" I didn't mean to ask, I wanted to keep quiet and just forget about all this, but the words escaped me before I even realized that I had thought about them.

Both Dio and Zero seemed to be as surprised as I was. For a moment it was silent, then Zero smiled.

"No. I don't think it's possible."

She had a sadistic way of telling the truth. At least that hadn't changed. Zero always used to tell the truth no matter how painful it was. It felt like someone had stabbed me. And then the tears came again, without me being able to do anything about it. Why was I crying so much lately?

"Rufus..." Dio said as he sat on the armchair next to the table, "Lime was devastated... She was left alone with a child and the father Samsara knows where... She lived through all that without having anyone to share it with... she didn't realize that her friends supported her."

I thought my heart stopped. My chest was in pain all of sudden and the tears just got more. A child?

"Lime was pregnant when you disappeared." Zero explained.

Why had no one told me yet? Why did they keep that fact a secret?! My body began trembling again, sight blurred by all the tears that were flowing over my cheeks with no end in sight. Why?! Breathing through the sobs was hard and painful and I didn't understand why they told me this now. Were they blaming me for something I couldn't influence? ... I never wanted children... and now...

"She managed fine for a while. Laughed it off, saying that she could do without you." Dio continued. "But..."

Suddenly he leaned over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Was he trying to comfort me?

"The boy died at the age of nine-"

And at that moment I was definitely sure that my heart had stopped. At least I felt my sight shrinking and bees in my head. I was going to pass out once again.

"Rufus!"

This time someone was slapping my cheeks. I managed to open my eyes after a few attempts and found myself staring at the ceiling. I was lying on the carpet, the coffee-table moved away, Dio hovering over me, Zero not too far away either.

I remembered what they had told me and wanted to drift into unconsciousness again, but my body didn't do me that favor. Zero did look pretty frightened and I was sure that Dio was quite shocked as well.

"Why... has no one told me?"

"Lime... told us that he didn't remember his past life... and so we never mentioned it again..." Dio muttered.

He helped me getting back to the couch and moved the table back in place and I sat there, almost unable to move due to all the trembling. Nausea was washing over me as well. This couldn't be a woman thing. No woman I knew was this weak and none had ever passed out so often just because they were stressed... just what was wrong with me?

"Lime does remember though..." Dio continued. "He never told us... maybe it's better not to bring it up..."

I nodded slightly, hoping this weird feeling would pass again. Zero wouldn't actually try to poison me, right? But she was a different person now... Still she should remember that we were allies...

"Why... did the..." I swallowed hard, trying to get the lump in my throat away. It felt like something was trying to choke me. "Why did... the child..." I couldn't say it. My son... someone I have never seen, never known. I was pathetic, like my own father. No wonder Lime had lost hope...

Zero and Dio shared a glance, then Dio sighed deeply and looked away. "It was winter... Zero and I were in town with her and the boy... It was just a stupid stroll at the lake... Nothing big.."

I frowned when Zero flinched and slowly took Dio's hand. Seemed like both didn't want to remember what had happened.

"The boy slipped and fell into the lake... Lime wanted to save him but I held her back..." He now grasped Zero's hand tightly, chewing on his lip. He was trembling slightly.

"I dived in..." Zero muttered. "I... managed to grab him, but I passed out myself..." She took a deep breath, moving her free arm around Dio.

I wanted to say something, breaking the terribly gloomy mood, but I couldn't.

"By the time Dio and Lime were able to get us out, both of us had passed away."

Cold... Zero had an oddly cold way of saying that.

"We couldn't do anything." Dio finally ended. He seemed to have lost all will to continue this any further and I didn't want to hear more. I understood now why Lime had been desperate enough to take her own life.

"I understand..." I muttered, then gazed at Dio for a moment. How had he managed without going crazy? But maybe I didn't want to know that either...

"You should get some sleep..." Zero told me and stood. She took the plate away and stayed in the kitchen, Dio still sitting next to me.

"How am I supposed to sleep after this..."

"Well I'd knock you out, but that will only put your head in a worse condition."

"As if that even matters... All of you have new lives... not being there ruined the whole chase... being there is going to ruin them again... am I just bad luck to all of you?"

Dio rolled his eyes and grabbed my bruised shoulder. I was trying hard not to yelp, but it was impossible. He didn't seem to have any intention of letting go anytime soon though.

"Rufus, nobody can change the past and no one knows the future. Take what you have and do something with it for fucks sake!"

"How am I supposed to do something with nothing but shreds?!"

Dio stood, towering over me like Arme did not too long ago. At least I knew that Dio had no intention of killing me... but I wasn't so sure anymore when he took my other shoulder as well.

"You take them and fucking glue them back together!" His voice was ringing in my ears, they moved away from the sound, pressing against my head. A movement I couldn't control, but Dio understood. He let go and backed away.

"Sorry..." he apologized. "I'm... just tired of everyone giving up when others tried so hard to stay alive and do the best with what they have..."

I frowned. "Why would you of all people..."

Dio glared at me again. I was scared he'd grab me again, but he just slumped down on that armchair and sighed.

"You know, Sieghart, Ley and I saw everyone pass away. Some got killed, freaky accidents... some got sick... others got too old. With so many people you get to see pretty much everything..."

I nodded, trying to keep my mind from imagining anything like it.

"I've seen so much suffering... friends passing away... No one ever threw their life away. They all fought until they couldn't anymore. Even Lime... but... we all realized too late that she had fought till the end..."

Nodding once more I looked at the carpet again. Was I supposed to meet Lime again? After what he had said to me? I wasn't trying to make him fall for me... I was busy myself, trying to get used to being female. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of us ever being together again.

Zero came back to the room, smiling slightly. She had a phone in her hand. Some device Lime had been running around quite a lot.

"Lass just called. She sounded pretty worried. Didn't you tell her where you were?"

"How? I was running for my life!"

Dio and Zero frowned. Right, I hadn't really explained to anyone. "Arme ran into me... I'm pretty sure he would have killed me if I had stayed there any longer..."

Realization spread over their faces. "Arme still holds a grudge against you I guess."

"We should head over to them." Zero suggested.

"There's no way I'd ever go there again!" I protested, but it was no use.

Not much later I was inside the apartment complex yet again. This time Dio was carrying me, even though I tried to explain that I was fine on my own. He just didn't listen.

When Zero rang the doorbell I felt the urge to run away, knowing my injured foot wouldn't quite like the strain, but I would run anyway. I've managed to get away from enemies with worse injuries. Seconds passed that felt like years, then the door opened and Arme appeared. My heart was beating so loudly I thought they could hear it. Was he going to kill me for real, now that I was easy prey?

Arme glared at me for a long moment, then stepped aside and let us in. Dio placed me on the couch and it almost felt like a family meeting or something.

"Why do you dare to come here?" Arme hissed at me. "Do I need to show you again that you are not welcome here?"

"No. Thank you." I muttered, not daring to look into the purple eyes. "Last time hurt enough."

"You deserve to suffer far more than that." His voice was low and growling, sending shivers down my spine. "You are pathetic, Rufus."

He spat my name out as if it was poisonous, glared at me as if I was a disease. Just what had happened that made someone I thought of as a good friend, hate me so much? Right now I knew that Zero and Dio would protect me if Arme would try anything funny, but did that mean that I was never allowed to move without bodyguards now?

"Maybe I am pathetic..." I muttered, surprised at how defeated my voice sounded. "I don't know anything..."

"Don't try to play the pity card, you shitty excuse of a demon!"

I didn't want to argue, so I kept quiet. Maybe that angered Arme even more, but I just didn't know what to say. It was the truth after all. I was pathetic for being unable to understand what was going on.

"Arme... if you'd just let Rufus-"

"I don't care what happened! I don't care why he left and why he never came back!" Arme shouted. "I don't care that Lime took her freaking pathetic life like the shitty weak and pitiful knight she was. I don't care!"

Arme did care. Defending all this so loudly made it pretty obvious... but I wasn't going to say anything. Didn't want to risk losing my head. The strong and muscular man standing there, suddenly looked weak and hurt. What had I done?

"Arme..." Dio tried now. "Calm down."

"I am calm..." he almost whispered, sighing deeply when he leaned against the wall behind him. "There was just nothing left after you were gone, Rufus. You took away all the happiness we had found."

"I don't think-"

"Be quiet!" Arme yelled yet again. My ears were ringing again, trying to escape the loud voice. "When you left, our fragile castle of happiness just turned to ashes..."

"How?! I wasn't the only person!"

"But everything connected around you..."

"How is that even possible?!"

Arme shot me a glare that made me freeze. "You just don't want to understand, do you?!"

Suddenly Lass appeared next to Arme. She looked tired as if she had been sleeping. She placed a hand on Arme's arm and shook her head. "Stop yelling... We'll just explain it."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the explanation.

Arme and Lass sat on the couch, Arme still glaring at me while Lass just looked sad and tired.

"After you left... I started feeling like it was my fault." Lass muttered. "We had a fight that day..."

I couldn't remember. It was probably something meaningless. Lass and I had fought all the time.

"I got nightmares... and after a while I saw her everywhere... I... I even hurt my friends because my mind was playing tricks on me..."

Her? Kaze'aze?

"They had to restrain me... because I was too absorbed in my hallucinations..." Lass explained.

I finally began to understand why Arme was so angry at me. But blaming me for something that could have happened anytime? Lass never had the most stable mind and we all knew that. He was like that long before I had joined the chase. I refused to believe that it had been my fault.