I Owe My Soul to the Company Store but my Heart to the CEO Part 7
So much dialogue. It really makes one realize how fast actually talking is compared to text. - Mr Wobbles.
Dinner with Kei was wonderful, everything tastes better when one is famished from hours of intense activity. Even if both of you looked fresh out of a warzone, it didn't matter. You had your love at your side, in all of her boyish glory and a grin painted on her face. Kei hadn't smiled like this in a while. It took awhile to nip the old broken leaves out of her short silver hair, but it just made her nestle closer to you until food arrived.
After a shower you were ready for bed. There wasn't a muscle in your body that didn't ache. Kei lay next to you, petting your head slowly until you dozed off.
You woke up to Kei sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling a shirt on.
"Something wrong?"
"Oh. I woke you. Sorry."
"Kei?"
"I can't sleep, that's all Dear."
"You're worrying, aren't you."
Her shoulders drop.
"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~" You say, putting a hand over one of hers. She looks over her shoulder.
"You should sleep, one of us needs to be 100% tomorrow."
"That doesn't mean I'm going to leave you to wander the night alone."
Kei sighs.
"Insistent as usual, it just must be a guy thing."
"To comfort the woman you love? Of course, I want the best."
"W-well put something on, the sky is clear tonight."
You're sitting on the small balcony with Kei, arm over her shoulders. A blanket helps keep the late night chill away. She gazes into the night, face lacking any expression. Frost covers the railing and twinkles from the lights of your home.
The stars seem to wax and wane in their station, almost making you forget about the woman under your arm for a moment, you turn and lock eyes with her. She looked your way the same time you did hers; it coaxes a smile out of both of you. Her smile disappears quickly.
"Am… Have-"
Normally, you would tease her hesitation, tonight is different. Kei has something on her mind.
"Have you ever thought about something, and the answer raises more questions than it answered? I'm starting to feel like I'm fighting something inevitable."
"Fighting what?"
"I don't know, forget about it."
"I'm listening."
Kei breathes deeply.
"Like I should never have gotten into the whole intelligence business and that it's putting everything I care about at risk. Now I'll be running from that forever."
"Is that all?"
Kei's shoulders slump.
"I mean, I don't know. It wouldn't be like me to spill my guts."
"The stress is eating you up. Say one thing and I'll stop pestering you."
Kei leans down into her knees, hugging them.
"I thought I was a woman with zero charm. As feminine as a bodybuilder- you turned all that on my head. Even though our first date, I was the same as ever, and often after that, you kept your eyes on me. Despite the fact that I behaved for all purposes, like a man, you hold onto me- held onto me as I questioned if I should pursue you. I cried in front of anyone other than my parents, for the first time ever that day. Why me? You treat me so well you could have just about anyone else. Firm when it's needed, playful and caring whenever you get the chance. Why?"
You have to pull her closer by instinct. You smile into her wavering eyes.
"When you're eating a pineapple, do you judge it by the tough, sharp, thick skin, or the sweet, juicy, sour insides? All I had to see was a little glint inside and I knew you were beautiful." You don't give yourself enough credit. For a woman who was thinking of marrying me, you sure underestimated me. Let's talk more Kei, in general. If it's as simple as a walk in the night, talk to me. Just hearing your voice makes my day better, so say everything that comes to your mind when we're out."
"I don't think you want to hear everything I think." Says Kei, nervously patting her hair down.
"Like?"
"It's a lot of junk; most of it at least. I'm sure you've already heard the news about the companies and statistics I'm usually mulling over, looking for any overlooked bit that anyone else would miss."
"Bouncing ideas off someone else never hurts."
"But it's like a track in my mind that repeats until I'm sick of it or I find something. As for the rest..." Kei bites her tongue. She sighs and continues, a sadness in her face.
"I was tested when I was younger, part of my schooling. I'm supposed to be pretty smart, I scored a 129 IQ… Excellent by all metrics. Those all seem so useless now that I'm older. What do perfect scores mean when you have such difficulty speaking even to the one you love?"
"You're a very sharp woman and it shows, I don't think that's true at all."
"Anyways. Sometimes I have to wonder: would you ever have accepted me if you didn't walk in on me that night?"
"It feels like we've had this conversation before, like that night you were thinking about leaving me."
"That night there was really no question in my mind, I just had to get it out."
"Then we're dealing with 'what-ifs'. I'm bet you wouldn't have been able to keep hiding your crush."
Kei smiles, blushing a little.
"Well… I never told you what started it. Your smile when you handed me coffee. I don't know what it was, but it captivated me the moment you did it. I just had to press onwards and accept the mug in my usual nonchalance when really I'd felt my heart skip away that moment." You can feel your face warm up as you naturally grin.
"I would've had to fire you if you didn't accept me." She says flatly
"What!?"
"A joke! Just a joke…" As Kei shudders into an excuse.
"Anyways, that's really cute- to think you doubted you were feminine in any way."
"Hey, I'm not going back to that."
"Oh, but I want to say something about it."
Kei shuffles around in her space against the wall, taking your hand in hers.
"Which is what Dear?"
"I mean we've both got habits that we've given to each other."
"Conditioning, like a dog with treats." She says bluntly.
"Sure. I mean hell, your typical white dress shirt is practically lingerie to me at this point."
Kei pinches her collar together immediately.
"It's that lewd!?"
"Well, without your coat on… you're just so small and curvy. It's so tempting to just put my hands on your little shoulders or well kept, fit waist."
Kei is turning red.
"I-I've never- never thought about it that way…"
"The binder you usually wear is even worse, I just imagine how I can have a girl who is both flat and decently busty at the same time; it's wonderful. Even if someone might criticize me for loving a 'little boy', I know the truth."
"So do you want me to wear it or not?" Kei seems confused.
"Which one is more comfortable? Which one do you like more?"
"That's a hard question. I'd choose on for work, off for casual."
"Sounds great."
She leans on your shoulder.
"As for me, I learned to relax with you; to not have to be constantly working to keep myself busy. You're quite stunning in a dress shirt too. I'll have to keep you moving so you stay that way~ We've already talked about the other good things you've done for me."
You lean your head against Kei's. She leans back, nuzzling a little.
"Feeling better yet?"
"A little. Uni will be joining us tomorrow at the range."
"Do your best, I'm sure you'll get along great when you're both busy tearing up targets together."
"If it doesn't turn into a serious competition, I'll believe you."
The night chill starts to cut through your clothing. You stand and offer your love a hand.
"I'm going in, want to come along?"
"Would… you carry me?"
Kei smiles, taking your hand and letting you scoop her up. She opens the door for you from your arms. She feels your chest as you heft her to the bed and stretches out as you set her down, a few headpats sooth her until you take your place next to her.
"Now sleep Kei, I love you."
"Love you too." She chuckles after saying that.
"I love you, what a silly line. No other three words can make someone's heart flutter like those. No other three words have caused more hurt either I'm sure."
"Don't overthink it." You say, pulling her into your chest again.
"I'm not ready to sleep. I like being here with you. Also. It's not possible for me to do anything but overthink things."
"Give me your best shot then."
"I don't want to be parted from you. I get lonely the moment you're not around. Does that make me a needy, selfish person? It seems so."
"I don't think so. We're still a pretty new couple. The really powerful feelings we have now will fade in time. What takes effort is turning those into a long lasting relationship."
"I…" Kei's fingers linger as she trails off.
"We?" You question.
"We. We should do stuff together while we feel this way. I know it's been said before, but the more the better. Talking more too, like I said earlier; even if it's just a midnight walk when I can't sleep, it would be great."
"Start with Uni's day and go from there?"
"Of course. I'd like to visit the hotsprings with you. We also need to have a consistent exercise schedule."
"Sounds like big plans for another day. Sleep already sweetie."
"I guess."
Kei begrudgingly accepts, tucking her head under your chin. The smell of Kei's hair is intoxicating and sets you to sleep better than any drug or potion. All your faculties seem to just slip away in her close presence.
A second time in a week, you're awake first. A soft touch to her head, still pressed to your chest wakes your darling from sleep.
"Kei~"
"Morning already." She says flatly. Only an expressive person could give Kei as much trouble as Uni seems to have. You've only got the bits you've heard to run off, but this could be an interesting day.
Kei is already tugging her shirt cuffs straight and reaching for her suit coat by the time you're getting up.
It's more of the same, and Kei's thinking side sort of haunts your mind. What else hides in her?
After five hours of work, the sun floats in the sky, hardly even warming your skin. Kei drags you to a sandwich shop for lunch before meeting Uni. You grin as your love emerges from the restroom in jeans and a grey t-shirt bearing a little Lastation "LS" logo on the breast. A heavyweight hoodie is folded over her arm.
"Ready?"
"As ever." Your hand finds her way to her shoulder. Your hands pull the thick hood over her head and you caress Kei's cheek for a moment.
"Being stiff is the opposite of what you should be doing."
"You're absolutely right, but I can't help it." She responds with a weak smile.
Kei offers you a hand across the table for two.
"Hold my hand?"
You accept without hesitation.
"It'll all be alright sweetie."
Kei blushes a little, her smile gaining energy.
"If this is how the goddesses felt when supercharged by share energy, I understand their reactions now." There's a kind light to her blue eyes and her fingers linger around yours, her palm slightly sweaty.
She releases her grip as food arrives and it feels like you leave as soon as you arrived.
There's a girl about the same height as Kei waiting in the parking lot. She looks at home, almost regardless of the chilling weather and is intently focused on you two.
"Uni~" Kei calls out.
Uni walks up and gives you a sort of visual pat down.
"Noire had told me you were seeing someone, but I'd never believed it."
Kei shrugs.
"Whether you believe it or not, it doesn't matter; here he is. At least I can attract someone other than giant mechs and robots." Kei's brutal tone and remark are a gutpunch.
"I-I thought you-"
"I am here to visit you and have a good time, just don't insult him. I love him very much." Kei says, holding her nose high as the obvious prideful victor.
"Anyways… to the range?" Uni says, tapping out of the current conversation.
Kei pops the trunk of her car open, hefting two rifle cases and a backpack while you lug two ammo cans.
"Why don't you use your virtual inventory Kei? It's so much easier than actually carrying things."
"Too flashy for my tastes, plus I like retaining my weapons despite outages of that system. Plus there's just something nice about physically possessing something."
"Fair enough. I'm pretty sure the VI system could outlive a nuclear carpet bombing though. As long as someone had a receiver and a tower stood somewhere. Given that literally every wireless router is effectively a short range tower for it, I think it's more durable than you give it credit."
"That's Uni." Kei proclaims while choosing a table to set her stuff down at.
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Oh, you said so many times that you wanted to surpass your sister. I think you're doing quite a splendid job on the information side of things." Kei grins deviously. "Information was my business after all."
"Was?"
"I'm quitting. Too dangerous, too cutthroat and I want to keep after my current course with my Dearest."
"Settling down already Kei?"
"Maybe I am… I don't mind though." Kei slips her earmuffs on and flicks the safety of her squared, black handgun.
"RANGE HOT!" She yells.
Kei is leaned against the table, elbow planted and hand against her cheek. She's been chatting with Uni in between berating you for slower-than-perfect times on the carbine course. The occasional crack of Uni's high power scoped rifle reverberates through the dusty plain of the shooting range while Kei gazes through a spotter's scope. Uni sets her rifle down, reaching into her backpack. She retrieves a thermos and a few steel camping mugs.
"Are you going to have some tea with us, Dear?" Kei asks after beckoning your earmuff off.
Uni seems like a responsible little woman, mature far beyond her years in some ways. The two small women drink from their cups quietly, it seems like their flow interrupted by your presence.
"So Uni, I've heard a bit about you, both ladies had nothing to say but positives about you-"
"What?"
Kei hides behind her mug.
"Mina and Kei both really sold me on meeting you, and Kei has a bit of a surprise for you unless her plans have failed."
"She won't shut up about you, specifically your training."
Kei sets her mug down.
"Uni, I'd like to take you-" Kei produces a pamphlet from the belly pocket of her hoodie.
"LNS Nagato? I've been-"
"Our company has been reworking the old wooden decks and removing asbestos from the ship. I think you'd like to see everything like she was being built. Maybe, there's a couple cases of ammunition left for the smaller guns we could use to properly send her off from the drydock."
"You'd do that for me?"
Kei hesitates.
"Well, I'll paraphrase what Mina said: I just hope that you grow into a fine woman, and that I could be part of that."
Uni looks aside, forcing a frown and crossing her arms. The touch of tsundere brings a smile to Kei's face.
"Y-You're trying too hard Kei."
"Thank you Uni, I'm glad you like my gift."
Uni accepts the paper and frowns.
"How will Noire deal without you? Who will fill the duties of Oracle?"
Your ears perk up and you approach them as Kei's eyes flit between you two and her hands which are cradling her mug.
"I'm not quitting, that's impossible for me. It's more like an advisor role. Noire is plenty capable on her own and you've grown to fill her shoes quite nicely. I believe my skills would be better used elsewhere."
"It's not just that though. Noire is difficult to work with, I know I said it before, but I really meant it when I said that 'the more you two fought, the better things went' and even at my best, I don't think I can match big sis."
You hesitate to even interrupt the focused ladies.
Kei shakes her head.
"It's a matter of maturity, you don't have to be Noire, you must be Uni, who excels at what Noire cannot."
"She-"
"No excuses, only strength."
"It's not like you would understand Kei." snarls Uni. Kei seems shook up and takes a moment to get her bearing.
"I. I suppose me and Noire are similar, but we're also very different. You're right, Noire is an honor student of sorts, refusing to be surpassed in anything. Consider where that mindset will lead you: only to ruin. One must specialize and excel in a few things or fall behind in everything. How long can she keep it up before she tires herself out? I believe that she wants to lead by example and show you the greatest a CPU could be with the hope that a seed of that effort is imparted into you."
"I don't want her to be a superhero. I want her to be my sister. Also; don't try to act like a know-it-all Kei, you're not that good at it."
"I'm not? The fact I've gotten such an answer makes me think the opposite."
Uni pouts. The strange red irises of her eyes gain some light as she refocuses.
"You know Kei, you're trying to be a parent in your own weird way, but it's pretty- I mean, anyways, you're alright.
"We're both busy people right? We'll meet again soon, probably both having learned a lot." Kei stands up and hefts her gear.
"Goodbye, Uni." She says in her more official tone with the weight of many emotions hiding under the surface.
Kei doesn't say a word until she gets the car on the road, leaving you anxiously waiting in the passenger seat of the car.
"After today, I just feel overwhelmed." She finally confesses.
"Anything in particular? Maybe it would help if you actually got a full night of sleep for once."
"Well… I just wondered- did you think I was a cute boy before you knew I was a girl?"
"Excuse me what?" Your tone becomes aggravated without any thought.
"Forgive me please, I-"
"The moment you got close I knew you were a girl. I only thought you were a boy when you were far away that day we met."
"Well, I'm asking because I've heard all sorts of things; like you were homosexual for accepting and loving me, a reverse trap as they said. That's what I am after all, right? I enjoy being boyish, it's always going to be part of me."
"Boyish. Not an actual boy. The softness of your face gives it away on its own."
"But if I were, I'd have no issues with it. If I were a boy, what would change about me?"
"You'd lose your fantastic assets, not to mention your cute face. You couldn't be my girlfriend. We could be friends though I bet."
Kei goes silent again, focusing on driving.
"Anyways, why is this on your mind?"
"Well, what happened today with Uni? How would you describe my gender?"
"Huh?"
Kei glares off and away from you.
"Uni wants to be someone else. What could you call that but irrational? Women, I think are irrational, and that's nothing like me. Should I be a woman? Crippled by every single emotion that just floods over like a hailstorm? I'm so happy that she called me 'like a parent' but I have no reason to, just like what I hate."
"Any kindness for them?"
"No." Kei insists, frowning heavily as her brow furrows angrily. The bridge of her nose is even wrinkled in pure rage. Kei's blue eyes are angled and tight, showing just a little bit of the power you've seen from her before.
"I get lumped in with them or designated an outcast either way. Is it too hard or rare to have yourself put together and composed?"
"Is it honestly common to be either of those?"
Kei's anger fades as she accepts the remark.
"Should I be glad then; glad that I'm not like them?"
"Be glad that you're Kei. The only Kei Jinguji that anyone will ever know."
Kei just shakes her head.
"Being human is irrational. That's all I can think of to say. I really don't think I properly conveyed how I felt when Uni called me a parent though."
Kei parks the car and takes your hand, a smile peeking through her distraught face on the way to the apartment.
"It made me feel like I actually could be a parent, someday. It made me feel like I'm better than I was, and that's priceless."
A lingering, almost slow dance-like hug keeps you and Kei close, both of your feet pacing around slightly in the middle of the living room.
"I do wish I was taller." Kei whispers.
"Why?"
"Then I could kiss you without standing on my toes~" She sings.
"We need to sleep. I can't let you stay up until midnight again."
Kei nuzzles your chest, taking her time. Her hands slink around the hem of your shirt. Icy fingers graze your skin, sending a chill through your body.
"Only if you'll hold me like you are now. I'm cold."
"You think I would say no?"
"Nope~" Kei says smugly, further chilling you as her hands wander; finally resting on your shoulder blades with her cheek against your breast as you two lie together, drifting off.
"Good night Dear." You say to the dozing woman in your grasp.
