Part 7: Christmas Music
"What do you think about some Christmas music?" Missy asked after they both had been quiet for a long time.
The Doctor groaned. He thought he had finally gotten her to shut up for good so he could enjoy a little peace and quiet.
"If you absolutely must," he said.
Missy jumped up from the armchair and clapped her hands excitedly. She ran towards the TARDIS console that gave off a gurgling sound. The Time Lady rolled her eyes.
"You silly machine still doesn't like me," she complained.
"You do remember the paradox machine, right? Well, the TARDIS does," the Doctor explained in a bored voice.
"It's alright. I have an idea that will change that. But I'm saving it for later," she winked into his direction and put a CD into the slot that was embedded in the console. Christmas music started playing immediately.
Ho, ho, &%$§! ho, what a croc of &%$§. . .
"What is that supposed to be?" Missy asked, making a disgusted face when instead of some words only gurgling came out.
"It's the TARDIS swearing filter. Prevents bad words from being used in here."
"Oh man," she sighed, "Your machine is just no fun at all. Stupid, &%$§" machine."
The Doctor chuckled. "See, I told you. Just skip to the next song."
"Okay, but it's not gonna get any better, you know?"
I saw Mommy &%$§& Santa Claus, &%$§$% on his candy cane all night. . .
"You know that wouldn't happen if you picked more innocent Christmas music, right?" the Doctor asked, an eyebrow raised. "Where did you find this anyway? Your taste in music is highly questionable."
A smile spread on Missy's face. She shrugged. "Nicked it from Clara's shelf when you stopped by her place yesterday. I thought it looked interesting. Never expected something like this coming from innocent little Clara. Don't worry. She never saw me."
The Doctor shook his head.
"One day I'll lock you into your room for good."
