Chapter 7: Celia Did WHAT?
Disclaimer: I'm already depressed today. Please don't make me do this.
A/N 2009: I'm leaving my original A/N on this one because…well, 'cause it contains three awesome guys. Back when I had first posted this story, I was still fairly new to this website. I posted an actor fic and my account got suspended. I'm planning.
A/N: Well, here I am again. It's March 31, 2004. Supposedly, I should have been able to post something today, but it turns out I can't post anything until 10:51 pm Pacific Standard Time, which translates to 8:51pm for me, which does me no good since I don't have access to a computer after 8:00 pm. Boy, is that a run-on sentence or what? Try diagramming that thing. Anyway, time to start the next chapter.
Rick O'Connell: Wait! What about the shout-outs?
Where did you come from? And is Ardeth with you?
Rick: Never mind that. What about the shout-outs?
There are no shout-outs this time. I couldn't post the last chapter because this stupid website doesn't give people who are first-time offenders any warnings. Author's face starts to go red
Rick: Oh, yeah. I forgot. You posted an actor fic when you weren't supposed to. Author goes even redder
I DIDN'T KNOW!!
Ardeth Bey: I would not tease her, O'Connell. I do not believe it would be wise.
Jonathan Carnahan: 'Fraid I have to go with Ardeth on this one, Rick.
Terreis is now very red, but for a completely different reason. She starts shoving the three men out of the room, ignoring their protests.
Sorry, but you'll have to go. The three of you in one room is just too much good-looking at one time. I can't concentrate on writing if I have to deal with Rick's blue eyes, Ardeth's dark good looks, and Jonathan's barely disguised Scottish accent. Out, Out, Out!!
A/N: Whew! Is it hot in here? Sorry about all that. Good thing Aragorn didn't show up, too, or I'd probably be unconscious right now. On with the story, then.
Eowyn watched with more than a little apprehension as the twins slowly closed in on Legolas. Celia was nowhere to be seen. Eowyn wasn't sure when she had left, but she was pretty sure that the young woman was lurking in the shadows somewhere.
Elladan and Elrohir were hoping that their plan would work. It was a little strange, to say the least, and it wouldn't work at all on the true Legolas. That is to say, if Legolas was behaving like his true self. But it might work with him at the moment. He was in his 'proud and vain' mode for this story, apparently, and they figured they could turn that against him. Legolas had only one weakness when he was like this.
It was Evelyn who first noticed a twitch developing in the oh-so-handsome facial features of the Prince of Mirkwood. She pointed it out to Anck, who pointed out to Eowyn, who bit back a smile as she eventually began to hear the cause of Legolas' spasms.
'Snip-snip'
The sound was very faint. Eowyn had to strain to hear it, but Legolas heard it loud and clear. As it grew louder, his twitching became more and more erratic.
'Snip-snip'
Everyone heard the sound now, including Aragorn. A slow grin spread across his face as he realized what the sound was. Anck had abandoned her guard of the King of Gondor, as Legolas' attempts to control himself were proving to be quite interesting.
'SNIP-SNIP'
Eowyn saw Celia now, moving up behind Legolas. In her hands, she held a bright, shiny pair of scissors. Legolas, now truly terrified, dropped his fighting knives and grabbed his golden hair in a protective grip. The twins took their chance and pounced. He didn't put up a very big fight, being much too concerned about keeping his hair intact.
In the meantime, Aragorn had dropped his guard to take the opportunity to laugh at the unfortunate Mirkwood Elf. Eowyn, realizing that this was indeed the opportune moment, jumped at him, knocking him to the ground. The force of the impact caused Aragorn to lose his grip on Anduril, which Anck, in spite of her laughter, had the presence of mind to pick up and hand to Evelyn.
All the while, Celia continued her somewhat bizarre but effective torture of Legolas. Elladan and Elrohir managed to drag him out of sight. They were followed by Celia who, Evelyn noticed, was looking almost maniacally gleeful as she 'snip-snipped' her way along.
Aragorn, as Eowyn had expected, began to struggle violently. She straddled his middle, leaving little room for him to move around too much, and regarded him calmly as he thrashed around. Looking up at Anck and Evelyn, who were both studying Aragorn intently, she began to grow embarrassed.
"He isn't usually like this," Eowyn apologized. "Neither of them are. Really, they are both wonderful friends. And Legolas and Arwen are most certainly not lovers."
"We understand, Eowyn," replied Evelyn. "We've been through similar situations. Sort of."
Anck nodded in agreement.
"I'm sure they're both good men," the concubine said reassuringly. "Or, at least Aragorn is. That is, Legolas is an Elf, so he must be a good Elf. Okay, that sounded odd."
"Don't worry about it," Eowyn said, waving one of her hands dismissively. "I'm just glad it's over with."
A shriek pierced the air and all three women looked in the direction of where the twins, Legolas, and Celia had been earlier.
"It sounds like Celia may have gotten a little too close with the scissors," Anck remarked.
"I hope she didn't hurt him," said Evelyn, frowning a little with real concern.
"I doubt that she did," Eowyn reassured her.
"Eowyn, would you mind terribly getting off me? I am embarrassed enough as it is and this could be construed as a somewhat…compromising position."
Eowyn looked down and saw with relief that her king seemed to be returning to normal. Just in case, though, she decided to ask him a couple of questions.
"Who saved Frodo from the Ringwraiths?" she asked. Aragorn stared at her for a moment, obviously wondering if she was in earnest before rolling his eyes.
"Glorfindel," he answered.
"Correct. And what is Rivendell also known as?"
"Imladris."
"How do you spell Rivendell?" she persisted, not getting a little enjoyment out of his obvious discomfort. But it proved to be the final straw.
"Eowyn! It's me! Please let me up."
Eowyn, satisfied with the answers, rose and helped Aragorn up off the ground. As he dusted himself off, she introduced Anck and Evelyn, who were both quite impressed with the real Aragorn. He apologized profusely for his earlier behavior.
"Where is Legolas?" he asked as he picked some leaves out of his hair. "I didn't harm him, did I? Things are still a little fuzzy."
"You did not harm me, Estel."
They all turned to see Legolas, now in his right mind, walking towards them. He was followed by Celia and the twins, who all looked very proud of themselves.
"Forgive me, mellon nin. I had no control of my actions," Legolas said, holding his hand out to Aragorn. The former Ranger grasped his friend's hand firmly.
"All is forgiven, Legolas. None of us had any control of the situation," Aragorn replied. Eowyn watched them suspiciously for a moment, wondering if angst was coming next, but things seemed alright. Legolas grinned as he gestured towards Celia.
"I believe this lady had perfect control of the situation," he said. Celia blushed.
"I really feel that I should apologize again, Legolas," she began, but the Elf cut her off, waving his hand in a gesure of dismissal.
"No, you should not. It was an accident. What is a few hairs, more or less?"
Eowyn's eyes widened.
"You actually cut his hair?"
"I didn't mean to. And it wasn't much," Celia said defensively, holding up just a few strands of what used to be Legolas' hair. The Elven prince laughed.
"It serves me right for trying to escape. Besides, I believe it is what finally shook us out of that particular story."
"You could be right, Legolas," Aragorn agreed. "Now that it is over with, I suggest we get Arwen and return to Gondor."
"Oh, no! Arwen!" shouted Eowyn as she remembered that Haldir would not know it was safe to let Arwen out of wherever he had put her. She took off running and the others followed closely behind.
'''''''''''''''''''''Meanwhile
"Legolas needs me! Estel will kill him! Haldir! Haldir, let me out!"
Haldir said nothing. He felt that no words could truly express how he was feeling at the moment. Arwen continued to beat on the door and the wall, yelling to be let out, and Haldir continued to ignore her. He sat in a chair propped up against the door, calmly sharpening his sword as the door shook behind him. It was this scene that Lord Celeborn walked in on.
"What is going on here, Haldir? Has all of Lorien gone mad?"
"I apologize for the inconvenience, my lord, but Lady Arwen is not quite herself at the moment and Lady Eowyn asked that I take care of her for a while."
"This is your idea of taking care of my granddaughter? You lock her in a room? Let her out at once, Haldir," Celeborn's temper was beginning to flare again. But Haldir stood his ground. Rising from his seat and laying his sword aside, he stepped towards Celeborn and attempted to explain the matter further.
"I do not think you fully understand the situation, my lord. Let me start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. When you read you begin with ABC, when you sing you begin with do, re, mi."
Celeborn blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"The first three notes just happen to be: do, re, mi. Repeat after me, please."
Celeborn simply stared at his now singing Marchwarden. On the other side of the door, Arwen had grown very quiet. Haldir, a huge grin plastered on his face, continued singing.
"Doe, a deer, a female deer. Re, a drop of golden sun. Mi, a name I call myself. Fa, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note to follow so. Ti, a drink with jam and bread! That will bring us back to do-oh-oh-oh."
"What's going on out there?" Arwen's voice could now be heard again. "Why am I in here?"
Celeborn edged by Haldir, who was now doing some sort of strange little jig, and opened the door. A very sane Arwen stood on the other side. The two of them held onto each other tightly as they went back past Haldir.
"So, do, la, fa, mi, do, re. So, do, la, ti, do, re, do," the blond Elf sang with gusto. Arwen looked at her grandfather.
"What is wrong with him?"
"I believe it is what is known as a 'songfic', Arwen. Have you ever experienced one?"
"Now that I think of it, yes. But not too often."
"When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything. Together!" Haldir cried, reaching for Arwen's hand. She pulled out of the way just in time and Celeborn was grabbed instead.
"Arwen, we have to do something!" Celeborn shouted as Haldir whirled him around the room in a most undignified manner.
"Look at the bright side," Arwen pointed out, thoroughly enjoying the scene in front of her. "At least he's changed to another song."
"I could've danced all night. I could've danced all night. And still have begged for more. I could've spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before."
"I think I liked the other one better," Celeborn retorted. Arwen could only laugh as she tried to think of a way to get her grandfather out of this predicament.
A/N: Okay, the songfic thing was not expected, but I am a musical fanatic and when I wrote that sentence, 'Let me start at the very beginning', it just kind of grew from there. Sorry if I offend any songfic fans. I'm a songfic fan myself. If you love Broadway and Lord of the Rings, check out the story 'Lullabies of Broadway' by The Phantom. I discovered it last weekend and it had me in stitches for two days. I swear, I will never hear 'Be Our Guest' again without laughing.
Second Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to the musicals 'Sound of Music' or 'My Fair Lady'. Well, except the DVDs. grins cheekily
