This is a rather silly chapter to lighten the mood before we get on with more serious stuff. Students from the H.I.V.E and Red-X commit Christmas theme crimes and the Teen Titans are trying to stop them.

I know it's no where near Christmas, but it's a thing in my other DC story that Gothic the Immortal never gets to enjoy Christmas, so in this story Red-X will get to have fun every Xmas, but I don't want to wait months to write that part.

DC Gothic – Red-X

Part 7

Christmas Crimes, Troubled Times.

Department Store – Jump City

"Out of the way, crud-muncher!" shouted Gizo as he headed over to the electronics section of the store.

"Hey, you gonna eat that?" asked Mammoth as he spotted a pair of frightened customer carrying out a Christmas tree.

"Does this skirt make me look fat?" inquired Jinx as she modelled her latest 'purchase'.

Smartly neither of the two male super villains answered that question, and the Hive students went back to trashing the department store while doing their Christmas shopping.

The store manager, who was currently hiding in the ladies toilets, despite being a man, had thought it great to keep the store open late into the night as the Thanargain occupation had really cut down on the amount of Xmas shopping people had been able to do. However he hadn't intend for three super powered young adults to hold his staff hostage and also to destroy the place while they looked for good deals.

"Eh, what is all this snot? I've seen better stuff at the dump Gizmo said as he flew around on his jet pack.

The machine loving midget was not impressed by the electronics on offer, not he intended to pay for anything, but even if had he wouldn't have brought anything on offer here. Heck he could make better stuff at home.

Not caring about shopping Mammoth occupied himself by eating some holiday chocolates, and some of course meant all, including the boxes they came in.

"How much does this cost?", asked Jinx as she held up a pair of tight fitting jeans and waved them in front of the nearest member of staff.

Uh… It's free!", said the female store clerk, who was just trying to make it through the night "And they'd go great with that blouse you picked out".

Giving fashion advice was built in at this point so the woman hadn't been able to help herself.

"Free, huh?", Jinx smirked. "This place really does have the lowest seasonal prices".

Which was what the sign on the door claimed.

"Oh it's not free. In fact you're about to pay a very heavy price" Robin said "For your crimes!"

The Hive kids turned around and saw the Teen Titans, theatrically standing at the store front's entrance.

"Ya looking for a fight, snot-lickers?", Gizmo asked as he flew near Jinx.

He was already incredibility bored of shopping, and so was looking for a diversion.

"'Cause we can take ya on.", Mammoth said while stepping over to where Jinx and Gizmo were readying themselves for an epic battle.

The Teen Titans all stood ready. The Hive kids stood ready. They stared each other down. Any second now the hero on villain action would begin.

Robin was about to yell 'Titans Go' when another crook entered the scene.

Everybody turned and saw Red X running through the department, with red sack over his shoulders. He'd been robbing the upper floors and hadn't even noticed the antics on his fellow criminals. Mostly because he had heavy metal blasting his eardrums thanks to his new headphones, which were built into the mask he wore.

"I was buying presents" he lied.

He'd neither paid for them nor were gifts for anyone, he'd stolen them only for himself, and Slade. Deathstroke was getting a tie, and a nice tie pin to go with it.

"Awww honey, are all those for me" gushed Jinx upon seeing the young man she still thought of as her boyfriend "That's so sweet".

Raven did not find that so sweet.

"Honey!" she raged.

"He's my boyfriend" Jinx said with a smirk.

Thousands of years of human evolution had taught men to know when a cat fight was about to start, and it had also taught them how to tell when it was not going to be a mere hair pulling contest. Which was why everyone with Y chromosome was backing away from Raven and Jinx. Even Starfire, who was still rather naïve about life on Earth and was female, picked up on what was going on but unlike the males she decided to back her friend up rather than do the smart thing.

"Boyfriend!" snarled Raven, who was at this point looking a little demonic what with the red glowing eyes and all "He's your boyfriend!".

Jinx who simply couldn't resist annoying Raven further, gave an answer that would really upset the part demon.

"Yeah we've even had sex".

Now Robin, who was smart, knew that his only chance right now was to get himself and the other guys out of the line of fire. So the girls could fight it out.

"Cyborg, Beast Boy, get Mammoth and Jinx" the Boy Wonder ordered "I'm going after X!"

With that Robin bolted away from his team to chase Red-X. Just as the other male members of Team Titan went after the guys from H.I.V.E.

"YOU SLUT!" Robin heard Raven scream as he chased Red-X through the trashed store.

Red X ran down the isle and thankfully found an elevator There was a gathering of scared employees and customers huddling on the ground behind the women's shoe section. X ran right past the huddling people and into the lift.

When he reached it, he wasted no time and pounded on some button to call it, but Murphy struck and nothing happened. Red X had to wait for the elevator, and when he looked behind him he saw that Bird Boy was catching up.

Taking a page out of someone else's book. Red-X reached into his sack and pulled out some wads of money. He'd also emptied the safe and all the tills on the top floors so he had quite a bit of cash on him.

"Merry Christmas!" called out Red-X

He threw some money into the air and all the scared people jumped from their hiding places to gather up the money, because that was what people did when cash was flying about like that.

This was very bad for the Boy Wonder as he couldn't stop in time to avoid crashing into the frantic mob of cash hungry Christmas shoppers.

From beneath a pile of human beings Robin looked up and saw the elevator opening as Red-X entered the lift.

"Happy holidays, kid" he said to Robin as the door closed.

"Red-X!" Robin screamed "I will get you!".

Seconds later Red-X was on the top floor, which had a skylight. He teleported onto the roof and vanished into the cold winter night just as it started to snow.

(Line Break)

The Suburbs – Jump City

The super thief dropped the heavy sack on the roof of the house and decided that the house across, which didn't have decorations, must be abandoned. Which was good because he needed to pee, and while the suit had a lot of neat features but it was no help in that area.

So after picking up his sack he teleported into the unlit house and used the bathroom, he was on his way out when Red X whipped around instantly and came fact to face with a little boy who wore pajamas and puppy dog themed slippers, who stared up at X with blue eyes full of wonder.

"Santa…?" the boy asked before the truth dawned on him "Wait you're not Santa, but you have a sack full of presents. Who are you, mister?".

Not wanting to upset the child, or to alert his parents who would call the police the crook thought fast.

"Um… I'm Santa Claus's son" Red X said, thinking on his feet "I help my Dad out at Christmas".

The boy pondered this lie before finding fault with it.

"Why are you dressed in black?" the little lad asked "You look a bit evil and why aren't you fat like your Daddy"

It was the mask that ruined the lie, it was very cool but not exactly child friendly what with it looking a bit like skull.

"I deliver the coal to all the naughty boys and girls, that's why I wear black it matches the coal" Red-X informed the child "And I'm so thin because coal is so heavy, it's really hard work. Oh and Santa's elves have their own gym, they let me use it".

The little person found this to be very logical but he still had a few more questions.

"But why do you have a scary mask?"

Again Red-X came up with a lie.

"This mask is special" X said "It's the only thing the whole world that can scare away the Grinch. It's also my job to make sure he doesn't steal all the toys".

Again the kid brought the lie.

"So do you have your own sleigh?" the small human male inquired "is it pulled by reindeer?".

This time Red-X decided to mix the truth in with a lie.

"I did, but I traded it in for a motorcycle. A flying one. It's much cooler" Red-X said.

Red-X did in fact have a flying motorcycle. Slade had been teaching him a lot about technology and the stylish crook was using that knowledge to create a flying motorcycle using technology left over after the occupation. It wasn't finished yet, but soon it would fly.

"Wait how'd you get in here, we don't have a chimney?" was the little boy's next question.

Red-X didn't need to lie at this point.

"I have a teleporter" he said while tapping his belt "it's powered by Christmas magic so as long as you believe in Santa and his son I can use to deliver presents".

Okay so that last part was lie, but he didn't want to try and explain the complex science behind matter transmission to an eight year old boy.

"So what do you want for Christmas?", X asked, wanting to wrap this up.

The boy was confused and explained why.

"Wait you said you had coal for all the bad boys and girls, but I've been very good. My Mommy said so".

Red-X's brain was working overtime tonight.

"Yes, I do that, but there are so many good boys and girls and so few bad ones that this year I've already given out all my coal" he told the lad " so now I'm helping my Dad with the presents".

This explanation was perfectly acceptable to the child

"Daddy says we can't afford presents" said the boy with the saddest of faces "he lost his very important job and now can't have Christmas".

This pulled at X's heartstrings. He was a thief not a psychopath, and he'd been poor once too so he knew how hard it was. Plus it was Christmas, only a totally sadist jerk couldn't feel pity at this time of year.

Because of this X reached into his sack and then gave the kid what had to be a couple of thousand dollars.

"THANK YOU SANTA'S SON!" the boy called out.

"SHH!", Red X even held his finger up to his mouth. "You don't want to wake everyone else up. I'm supposed to only be here when even you're asleep".

Also since Christmas Eve was until tomorrow Red-X was here on the wrong day but the boy hadn't realised that yet and hopefully wouldn't until X was long gone.

Red X then stood up, threw the sack over his shoulder again, and walked towards the nearest window.

"Aww… You have to go now?" whined the kid "I was going to get some milk and I have a cookie we can share".

That was sweet, but Red-X had places to be.

"Sorry, kiddo. I got lots more presents to deliver" he told the lad "and you have to go put that money under the tree".

Red X let the kid see him teleport away and as he did the crook wondered if the little boy would have a happy Christmas or not. His parents wouldn't know where the money came from, but in a world of magic, aliens, robots, and men from other dimensions, anything was possible so maybe Santa was real here and people would believe in Xmas's miracles. Just maybe.

(Line Break)

The Suburbs – Jump City

Somehow the three H.I.V.E students had also managed to escape the Teen Titans, and now the three of them were wandering the streets wondering what to do next.

Jinx was rather worse for wear as she'd had a nasty encounter with Raven's tentacles of darkness. Starfire had saved Jinx from being eaten, or possibly from something worse, and while she was a tough cookie, there were things that no teenage girl should have to suffer through.

"So we lost all the stuff we grabbed and now we're stuck out in the snow" moaned Gizmo "Those barf-munchers ruined everything!"

The Teen Titans did have a habit of ruining the plans of hard working criminals, but they weren't always successful. Red-X had gotten away with a lot of swag, and now he was here to share his success with the three closest things he had to friends.

"Hey guys" greeted Red-X from the roof of a house "wanna come over to my place for Christmas"

Mostly he just wanted Jinx over as she would be very happy when she got her presents, but Red was in the holiday mood and he wasn't going to leave his fellow lawbreakers out in the cold. After all it twas the season.

"You have a place?" Jinx asked "is it warm?"

It was indeed warm, but it wasn't decorated for Christmas as it was a safe house Slade had set up so that he had a place to lay low should his bases be discovered. However Deathstroke was out of town at the moment so Red-X was free to use the house.

"Sure is" Red-X replied "but it's not decorated and I have no food in, so we're going to have to steal our Christmas".

"And how do we do that, mud-for-brains?" Gizmo asked "The Titans will have the stores covered".

Red-X smiled under his mask and then said.

"I have a cunning plan"

(Line Break)

The Suburbs – Jump City

As plans went it was in fact cunning. While Jinx, Gizmo and Mammoth distracted the people in the targeted houses, Red-X would teleport in and steal something. He didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas cheer so only took a little, and this resulted in them having to hit a lot of houses.

The three H.I.V.E students knocked on the door of a very well decorated house and when it opened they began to sing, which for the people answering the door was a very big distraction that got the whole family involved.

"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Batman Smells

Robin Laid an Egg

The Batmobile Lost a Wheel

And the Joker got away".

"I do not lay eggs!" shouted Robin as he landed on the roof in a very dramatic fashion "And Batman doesn't smell!".

Clearly he hated that song.

"Are you sure" asked Red-X as he teleported onto the roof "It would explain the constipated look you always have".

Robin's rage filled expression was meant to be scary but everyone who saw couldn't help but think he did look like he was about to lay an egg.

"Sweetie" said a now drunk Jinx as she waved some mistletoe in the air "Come give me a kiss".

"You slut!" screamed Raven as she used her powers to pelt Jinx with dozens of snow balls.

Later she would claim that this strange behaviour was due to there being too much brandy in the eggnog she'd been drinking before the crime alert had gone off. And to be fair Beast Boy had spiked the punch, so to speak.

What followed was an epic battle of heroes verses villains that the people of this street would never forgot. Half a dozen brave snowman lost their lives to energy blasts of one sort or another, and three separate displays of Christmas lights were destroyed as Robin attempted to restrain Red-X.

While the heroes were able to capture Mammoth and Gizmo, Jinx and her boyfriend were able to escape along with at least some of the loot. Which was great for them as they had a very Merry Christmas hidden away in the safe house were the mistletoe was put to good use.

As for the Titans, they too had a Merry Christmas even though Robin insisted that they return the stolen presents that Red-X had left for them at the tower's main entrance.

Although that may of had something do to with the fact that the gifts weren't really suitable for teenage super heroes. It took a good long while for Starfire to figure out why her present vibrated, and why the note that came with the gift said that it was to make up for Robin not being a man and giving her any satisfaction.

Raven ended up having to explain. She was not happy about having to do that.