Chapter 7: The Decision

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I turned over in the makeshift bed, sighing. The turtles had managed to scrounge up a mattress, a couple of blankets, and a pillow for me to sleep on. And as soft as the mattress was, and as tired as I felt, I just couldn't get to sleep.

So many things were running through my head, all the problems that had happened and wondered where we would go next.

To my surprise, I'd found out Donnie had put my communicator back together, getting in contact with Ithiell just before I was attacked outside. And lucky for us, Ithiell's fighter was close. If it hadn't been for him...

I let out another soft sigh, turning onto my back and looking up at the ceiling. I could just make out the patterns on the walls, taking a moment to take in the colours and shapes.

Ithiell had bought Jake back with him, as well as Rtaia and Rachel, as Rachel wouldn't take no to being left behind. Plus, she thought we needed some "firepower".

We'd managed to get back to the turtles home, and told the others of what happened in the hotel. Safe to say, Jake wasn't pleased. He wasn't looking forward to telling Marco about his mother. Also having to tell Ax about this new mini Yeerk spa bath thing they had happening. It would probably tip the tide of the war, Yeerks not needing to leave their home...

I felt sick to the stomach, sitting up and just leaning my head in my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. The floor under my feet was cool, and somehow eased the sick feeling just a little.

Jake and Ithiell had decided we needed to rest, and tomorrow we would all sort it out. Jake was exhausted, as was Ithiell, and the turtles needed to rest up after their intense adventure. Especially Leo, since he'd had the worst of it.

Rtaia used some sort of herbal remedy on his bump, bandaging his head. Mikey made a joke that me and his brother were now "matching". Safe to say the joke was lost on everyone.

Before Ithiell had left to go to his fighter to rest, he'd taken me aside and told me that until they could work out why I was shifting back like I was, I wasn't allowed to go on any more missions. Not even recon.

He couldn't risk me being in the middle of a heated battle and shifting back. I would be a liability, and either myself, or one of the team, could pay for it.

So I was grounded. I had to sit out possibly the biggest mission we'd ever had with the Animorphs. I'd have to watch my friends go into battle, and just sit on my ass twiddling my thumbs.

I know he meant well, but the ache of one of my friends dying because I wasn't there to protect them, was a massive burden. All because I couldn't control my shifts.

So many emotions were going through my mind. I was devastated, and then angry, and then feeling like I wanted to cry, because all I could imagine was one of my friends being hurt, and me not being able to help them...

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat, laying back down and trying to close my eyes.

Seconds later they were back open, now staring at the couch not far from me. I could see one of Rachel's feet sticking over the edge, a soft snoring coming from the other end. She obviously had no problem sleeping, knowing that she was here and could fight.

If only she could know how it felt to be this lost...

I shook my head, turning myself over. Jake had been given some kind of area that Mikey hung out, as there was a sort of "couch" there. I wondered if he was able to sleep...

"Hey" Came the soft voice above me, and I turned to see none other than Jake above me, his big eyes looking tired and baggy.

"Can't sleep?" He asked as I sat up, and he took the moment to sit beside me on the bed. I shook my head.

"Not a wink. You?"

"Nada" He sighed.

We sat there in silence for a moment, before Jake spoke up again.

"Did you want to talk about what happened? I mean-"

"Not really"

Silence again. Well, this was awkward.

"Look Jade, I know what Ithiell said was tough, but he just wants to protect you. After all, we don't want to loose you-" He stopped, twiddling his thumbs a little as he said this, then looked up at me.

I smiled a little "I know Jake. I just... I feel like I've been taken out of a fight I started"

"How did you start it?" He looked confused.

"I... its my fault these guys are involved. And it's my fault for not..." I stopped, tears welling in my throat. Part of me knew I shouldn't be blaming myself, that it was silly, but another part of me knew that if I had just flown to the hotel, and not walked like I orginally had, this whole situation would have been avoided. And I would have been able to-

A warm hand above mine made me look up. Jake was smiling at me, a sweet smile that I'd never seen on him before.

"Jade, it was never your fault. Things just happen. I could spend all day blaming myself over every decision I've made with the Animorphs-"

I snorted "Jake, I know you do. Don't even start-"

"Jade" He squeezed my hand "As much as you want to change the past, it's the past. Right now, we have work to do"

I frowned, and he sighed.

"Why are girls so hard to talk to?"

"Why are boys?" I retaliated. He sighed, letting go. I really wasn't making this easy on him.

"Jade..."

"I know... I know you're trying to help, just.. maybe it'll be easier to deal with in the morning or something. I've just never been sat out on a fight before"

"Neither have I. Well..." He scratched the back of my head "Not of my own free will"

I'd forgotten the struggle he'd been through. He'd fallen into the Yeerk Pool and had to fight the little pest in his own head. Fortunately, that was before I joined up. I blushed a little, noticing just how childish I was sounding.

I wasn't well, and I needed to do it for their safety and mine. And there would still be plenty for me to do, without shifting...

At least, I'd hoped.

I sighed, looking at Jake "I'm sorry, I sound like a spoilt brat"

He smiled, and I didn't know if it was just the late night, but his smile put butterflies in my stomach.

"I know you mean well"

"Thank you for talking to me" I put my arms around him, hugging him gently. I knew he was right.

He hugged me back "Anytime Jade, you know I'm here"

I started to pull back, but something stopped me. Our faces were so close... I started to lean in...

"Gorilla pancakes!"

We both jumped apart, Jake probably looking about as good as I felt, and we both turned to see Rachel's arm was straight up, like she was punching the air. Then it fell back down, and we could hear a gentle snoring again.

"Um... well..." He started to get up, but before he did I touched his arm, giving a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight Jake" I smiled at him. He suddenly had a loopy grin.

"Goodnight...Jade" He got up, leaving to go back to his spot on his couch, and I curled up under my blankets again, my mind racing even more now.

Nope... no sleep tonight.

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Let's just say, when Marco heard about his mother being in town, he was not happy.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me this sooner?!" He snapped from one of the screens on Donatello's computer area. Ithiell and Jake shared a look.

"We needed to analyze-"

"I don't give a shit what you needed to analyze! She's my mother and I am coming there to get her back!"

"Don't you even!" Rachel cut in from beside me, pointing a finger "I kept you alive for this long, don't go doing something stupid enough to get us both killed!"

"Watch me!" He snapped, going to leave, but thankfully Robert grabbed him by the collar, yanking him backwards and making him yelp, falling onto what I could only guess was the ground. I heard him cry out, and I sighed.

On the other side of me, Jake balled his hands into fists. Tension was high.

"Robert!" Ithiell growled, and Robert just looked at him, shrugging.

"I stopped the midget, didn't I?"

"Guys, I don't think it's right that we-"

"Amanda, can it!" Marco was now up on his feet, and Robert had stepped between him and Amanda.

"Okay, everyone calm down! This is getting us no where" Jake threw his hands up.

"Jake's right. We need a plan. Another recon mission. Outside the hotel this time"

"Why?" Rachel stared at Ithiell.

(It is very likely that the Yeerks would now have excess guards, or perhaps have moved Visser One, as well as these small-)

"So, who goes then?" Rachel glanced at me, then away. I felt a little insulted, but let it slide.

"All of us here. We need to know what kind of security they have now, and if Visser One is there. If shes not, we need to get the Chee to try and find out where she's gone"

"And what if she's left earth?" Marco snarled, and Robert sent him an icy glare.

"If I am correct, I believe this Visser would not leave this current area, not without securing her operation, or perhaps moving it to a safer location" Rtaia spoke up. She had been silent this whole time. It was nice to hear a calm voice amongst all the raised ones.

"Well we need to move now then. Marco... don't even think about it! Robert... keep him there" Jake answered, seeing the dirty looks Marco was now giving him, but choosing to ignore them.

"Ithiell?"

"All right, Robert you heard him" Robert nodded to him.

"Ithiell out" Ithiell cut the communication, and Rachel let out a sharp laugh.

"About time!"

"Okay, so..." Ithiell and Jake turned to the turtles and Splinter, who were watching quietly from the sidelines. Now they perked up, Raphael flipping a Sai around in one hand, before expertly slipping it back into his belt.

"What can we do?" Leo stepped forward, almost joining Ithiell and Jake into a half circle.

"For now, I need you all here. If something goes wrong, we'll need backup. Donatello-"

Donnie perked up, like a little kid who had just been chosen for a sports team. Ithiell threw a small device at him, and he caught it with ease.

"I made this for you. It'll be easier to communicate this way"

"What is it?" Donnie was ogling the little device.

"It's a-"

"Enough shop talk!" Rachel interrupted, punching a fist into her other palm "Let's go!"

"I do hope you will not cause... trouble" Rtaia said quietly, her ears flicking forward slightly. Rachel ignored her.

Ithiell and Donnie shared a look, both nodding. Then Ithiell turned to me.

"Jade, you know what to do"

I sighed "Stay here and be a good little girl"

Ithiell frowned, but decided to ignore my comment, turning to Jake, who both nodded at each other.

"Okay, move out!" Jake ordered, and the four of them took off, out the door and back to the surface.

I felt deflated, watching them go.

Suddenly a hand was on my shoulder, and I looked over to see Splinter, smiling at me as only giant rats can.

"It will be all right. If you like, we could try to med-"

"Oh! Oh!" Suddenly big hands were grabbing mine, and I looked to see Mikey start pulling me forward "Come play some super games with me!"

"Mikey!" Donnie was suddenly there, loosening his grip on me.

"Easy now, she's not a play thing" Leo piped up, and Raphael was suddenly on my other side.

"We can see how she fights like she is"

"Come on guys" Donnie spoke up again, slightly separating me from his brothers "Give her some room"

"We saw how she fights, she's good at it" Leo looked at me, and for a moment I wondered how, then I realised...

"You guys were watching me that night, weren't you?"

"Wha?"

"The night those thugs attacked me"

"To be fair, we thought you were gonna beat them" Donnie looked sheepishly at me. I sighed, rubbing my temple.

"My sons" Splinter stepped in again, giving me a little breathing room as they stepped away from me "It is up to Jade what she chooses to do with her time"

I suddenly did feel like a play thing. Or an object.

Then again... it was actually nice to be wanted. Plus... I wanted to get to know them.

"Oh hell, Mikey lets see one... and I mean one... of your games. Then I'll spend time with everyone else"

"YESS!" He grabbed my arm again, leading me off from the others.

Not like I had anything better to do.

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I know, kind of a boring chapter, but I wanted to do something a little slower.

Constructive Criticism appreciated :D