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Author's note: This is kind of the second half of Chapter 10. The Piano scene.

Piano notes filled the air as my fingers drifted effortlessly across the keys. I had spent hours perfecting this melody.

Hours trying to capture everything I felt for Holly into a form that I understood.

Music was a universal language and no matter how many foreign dialects I learnt, nothing could translate the meaning of something as well as music.

Whether the method be lyrics or notes. This was something me and Holly seemed to share a love of. Submerging ourselves into the world the artist had created even just for a minute of 2.

I hoped that when I played this for Holly, I could truly translate the things within me into something I could comprehend. A language that would register.

I heard her stir in her bed, she would wake up soon. Her eyes would be blurry as they always are and her hair would be that wonderful mess of curls and kinks.

Alice may disagree but to me Holly's beauty always seemed so effortless even when she woke in twisted nightwear, sleep still in her eyes.

I loved my best friend and so that is how I justified my aversion of the complete truth. That it wasn't truly love that held me to Bella Swan these past days but more a weakness of mind. The monster in me loved her scent too much to let me settle. It revelled in her company and so I let it. It was easier than battling with the raging thirst.

Only with Holly did I truly get rest bite, as soon as she disappeared my addiction rose with vengeance.

So even though I knew it was wrong to let Holly assume I had fallen for the Swan girl, I couldn't find it in me to correct her. She seemed so thrilled with the idea. I didn't want to disappoint her or let her down. I didn't want to wipe away that smile that I was fast starting to live for.

Her footsteps padded down the stairs; soon I heard the toaster pop and the sound of her sighing at the taste of the butter and bread in her mouth.

I softly played a simple tune that had been inspired by the meadow I had discovered. My place of solace and peace.

A knock at the door shortly followed and I smiled as I welcomed her into the room.

Her scent soon flooded the air around me and I revelled in the feeling.

Her arm wrapped around me and I tried not to tense at the hot contact against me, not focussing on the feel of her chest pressed to my back.

I cleared my depraved thoughts and patted the bench beside me.

I wanted to show her her melody, show her what she meant to me even if I couldn't quite put it into words.

I opened the floodgates and poured everything I felt into the keys. Letting the tune not just be played but be felt.

It was sweet, happy, light, and playful but beneath it there were seductive notes that I almost hoped she didn't notice. The building sway of the music into a crescendo that seemed so rich and all consuming I finally felt what my heart had kept from my head. As the song ended on a note of the unknown I turned to Holly the pure emotion shining in my eyes. I could feel it almost glow out of me.

The reason why I wanted her happiness.

The reason why her smiles lit up my world.

The reason why the idea of life without her seemed bleak and sedimentary.

I love my best friend and I was lucky enough to be in love with her as well.

Her eyes shone with that vibrant happy emotion that seemed to consume her. Understanding seeming the ring in her posture and body language.

It's beautiful, Edward, thank you for playing it to me.

In that moment I felt like my chest might explode with the strength of emotion pounding in my dead unbeating heart.

But what do I do now?

It knew how I felt but how did I tell her? How did I change this friendship into something so much more?

I needed to show her how much I wanted her, how she sent electricity flying through my veins just by standing close to me.

Removing my hands from the keys I made my way behind her.

I couldn't rush her into this. With the intensity of the feelings pounding in my chest I feared it could scare her.

I lightly grasped her hands and placed them on the ivory keys that had been the sheers to break the lock on my heart.

I gave into the desire to touch her, running my fingertips up along her slender arms watching fascinated as goose bumps rose on her skin. I felt that lustful fire burning in me, the heat of her skin permeating through me. Soaking into my bones.

"Play for me." It was a mere whisper. It was all I could manage without revealing the dark desire that hid in my voice.

I will as soon as you let me concentrate. Now quit with the vampire voodoo.

I chuckled but inside my nerve endings were crackling at the idea that I made her lose her concentration.

I ruffled her hair and smiled, placing myself next to her so I could study her face.

It seemed like I had never really seen her as she was now. As if all those moments spent with her now dimmed in comparison to the possibility of our future together. I was smitten and I could bring myself to care.

I watched her become at one with the song, it was simple but well composed. The cadence of the melody and the timing suggested it was a song from the era of the second world war. Like one of those piano songs played to ease the soldiers troubles. It was supposed to be happy but the emotion on Holly's face showed otherwise.

Her hair fell forward obstructing my view of those expressive eyes. I lightly brushed it back and shocked when images of an old jovial lady entered my mind.

I miss her so much. Holly's voice wasn't directed at me, instead I found myself within her mind for just a second. Sad emotions surrounding the smiling face of the old woman.

"How did she die?" I had never known about this woman, never met her or heard Holly talk about her.

"Heart failure, she missed my Granddad greatly. He died on Christmas Eve, one year later she passed away. Mum says she died from a broken heart." Her voice became choked, and I felt pain flow through me. The idea of someone such as Holly having to endure such a loss hurt, I didn't like the tears that stained her delicate face.

I wiped away the moisture and tried not to show my surprise as again I found Holly's mind no longer silent. Images of hospitals, ambulances, tears, and a coffin filled my head.

As the tears dried up I watched as the images faded and muffled leaving nothing but dark space. My hand still rested on her cheek, but I swiftly pulled it away. Now wasn't the time to reveal my feelings to Holly. It would seem insensitive.

"But I didn't deliberately think that to you? How did you know about it?"

I tried to think of a reason and a possible explanation came to mind.

"Well I have a theory of my own. I can't hear you usually, unless you think something at me. That is what we first understood. However I have noticed something. When I'm in contact with you. Skin to skin. I can hear you. Not just what you direct at me, but the thoughts that pass through your mind. Just like any other person. They're not as loud as other thoughts but they're there sometimes they become very muffled as if you block them off, like now. The only explanation I have for it, is that when I touch you, you become more real to this world. To my world. I can feel you and so I know you're real and not just an illusion. My brain reassures itself that your here and so my ability works as normal. As for when they become muffled I can only assume you pull your thoughts from the surface of your mind. Taking them further into you. Like how an object can be seen on the surface of a pool but gradually disappears as it sinks deeper "

I saw her rearranging this information in her head. She always liked to understand, to have reasons and facts rather than just the primary information. It was one of the many things I loved about her.

Loved. It seemed so strange to finally acknowledge it, to be so unaware for all this time and suddenly just accept that I did indeed love Holly.

I wanted to know everything about her, to feel her mind tumble into mine.

I picked up her dainty hands and held them softly in my own. The rush that hit me was exquisite. I saw my face in her mind. The shining delight of my presence in her life.

I felt the strong resounding joy it sent through me. If only I knew that the heights this thrill took me would only make the coming fall so much more painful.

Mine and Bella's face came into view. And this also showed the same delight. The idea of us filled Holly with jubilation.

I felt my once glowing heart dim.

The pain that her happiness relied on me staying her friend hurt more than I thought possible. To have the opportunity of real love ripped from me by my own stupidity and weakness angered me. If I hadn't felt into the abyss Bella's scent created, if I had fought better to control the monster in me and stayed away from Bella I could still have had a chance with Holly.

I dropped her hands unable to take the image of me and Bella anymore.

"The idea of me and Bella makes you happy doesn't it." I watched her face hoping for some kind of flicker to show that it was just a front. That she wanted me the way I wanted her.

I barely felt her hand on my cheek as the sadness consumed me, eating up the glow that the love of her had created.

Your story is one that in my world made millions of people happy and gave them that little bit of hope that love can overcome all difficulties. I can't explain to you the feeling that I get when I see you both together. I'm the luckiest girl alive to have you as a friend Edward and I'm beyond happy knowing that one of my closest friends is in love.

I had to take what I could. I made her happy, and although the word friend stung a little, at least it meant I was in her life.

These things I clung to as I hugged her close to me.

I loved her too much to lose her and if sacrificing my happiness was what was needed to keep her with me and keep that smile on her face I could do it. Perhaps someday I would be given a chance to decide my own destiny, but right now I was following the one Holly directed me onto.

My twisted destiny with Bella Swan.

Because for Holly Jules I would walk through fire.

Author's note:

So Edward has finally discovered his feelings shame Holly is still completely in the dark.

xxx