Dear Matt:

Pilot error.

That's what the news said when they announced you crashed.

They told us you're dead.

How could you do this Matt? How could you do this to mom? Did you think about it? She's not sleeping. She's barely eating.

She cried Matt. Mom cried.

The strongest person I've ever known was crying in front of a TV, at night.

It's like a rule Matt. Parents don't cry unless it's really really bad.

And then Iverson's at the door and he's telling us he's sorry. As if.

Mom closed the door on his face.

What are we supposed to tell your friends at the Garrison? They had this party planned out for you when you landed. Guess that's not going to happen anymore, is it?

And Bae Bae? He's a dog Matt. He's never going to know why you're not home.

He waits for you and dad every day. He stays on the door mat. Eats there, plays there. And at night he keeps whining at the door until he gives up and goes to sleep in your room.

He doesn't...he can't understand why you're not coming home.

He's going to keep waiting for you because he doesn't get why you left him and are never coming back.

[Tears fall on the pages. Her pen shakes with her hand. It's all so, so wrong.]

What am I supposed to do? I need my older brother Matt. I need you. I can't do this on my own. I can't stand looking at Bae Bae sleeping on your pillow.

I can't look at mom when she's smiling at me and it's so fake. Like she's trying to be strong for me.

I'm supposed to be the one that's being strong for her.

I can't go without you Matt. I need my older brother.

I'm just thirteen. I can't deal with all of this on my own Matt.

Should I even be writing this? It's not like you're gonna read it anyways.

Dead people can't read.

Katie.