"Damnit Ron stop breathin so fuckin loud!" Harry yelled to Ron who was hiding in the bush next to him. They were in front the gnome lady's house.
"I can't help it Harry! I'm nervous…and that lady isn't even home, she can't hear us" Ronyelled back to Harry.
"Ay dis was your idea in the first place and you ain't gonna back outta it now!" Harry called towards Ron's bush.
"Ight man I know" Ron exasperated "K I'm gonna go get the gnomes…you ready?"
Harry looked to his left and right "Yea man…I'll break into her backyard so that we can sort out the gnomes.. and I got the brooms for our getaway"
Ron called to Harry again "Ight on the count of three…ONE…TWO-"
Harry interrupted "Let's just go on two"
"Why two?' Ron asked.
"Cuz" said Harry "It's faster"
"Yea a second faster" Ron tried to reason.
"But still man we could already be stealing them now if we went on two!" Harry said frustrated.
"Shit Harry! I could've counted to three like 15 times with all this talk about two!" Ron snarled at Harry.
"Oh shut up man!" Harry called.
"Ight…ONE-TWO-"
"Wait so we're goin on three?" Harry interrupted once more.
"JUST GO!" Ron barked.
They jumped out of the bushes and Ron fell smack on his face as Harry ran towards the fence to break into the backyard. Ron scrambled to get up and grabbed two gnomes…they were surprisingly heavy!
Harry finally reached the fence…but there was no way into the backyard…so he had to run to the other side. He saw run struggling with the two gnomes.
Ron heaved the gnomes a few steps and stopped for a break…for things that were supposed to be hollow they sure were heavy. He still had about 50 more gnomes to carry and he was already worn out.
"Ron what the hell?" Harry yelled "You are a wizard use some fucking magic!"
"Oh right!" Ron realized. He charmed the gnomes and sent them flying nicely into the backyard. He did this until all of the gnomes were over the fence.
He ran to the open gate and went into the backyard where Harry was busy loading the gnomes into a huge trunk. They heard a car in the driveway.
"Ron you said she wouldn't be home for hours!" Harry sent a few more gnomes flying into the trunk.
"She must be early" said Ron helping Harry get the gnomes into the trunk…they were nearly finished.
They heard someone running through the house…the footsteps were getting louder and closer to them…
"We'll never have time to tie the trunk to the brooms" Ron told Harry as he shut the lid to the trunk.
"I know! I know" Harry was out of breath and his chest was heaving up and down frantically...he was not about to leave all the gnomes behind
"What are we gonna do?" Ron was bright Red in fear and exhaustion.
"Ok" Harry said…an idea came to him "I know it'll be hard, but it's the only thing that we can do…that might work!"
"What?" Ron asked.
"It's a heavy load…but together we can aparate it home"
"OK! OK!" Ron grabbed one side of the trunk and Harry grabbed the other. The lady was turning the doorknob to her backyard.
"NOW!" Harry shouted.
CRACK! They aparated and then CRACK BOOM! They landed.
Harry was still hanging onto the trunk…he was holding on so tight that his hand had turned pink He heard Ron moaning in pain on the other side of the trunk.
"Man you ight?" He called.
"Where the hell are we?" Ron asked.
Harry looked around and wondered the same thing. They were in a great big open field…it would have been beautiful if they had not been in such a ridiculous predicament. They both stood up and looked around…nothing to be seen.
"Where are the brooms?" Harry asked…They had forgotten them in the backyard. "SHIT!" Harry shouted.
"Dis is all your fault!" Ron pushed Harry down.
Harry was taken aback for a moment but stood up and pushed Ron…Ron stumbled a couple steps "How is dis my fault…you are the stupid fool who wanted to steal gnomes in da first place!"
"Well" Ron said still glaring " If we would have gone on THREE the firs time and not spent so much time talking about goin on two…we would have had enough time to go"
Harry angrily stepped towards Ron, but Ron did not back up "Yea well if you remembered that you were a wizard then you would been able t get those damn gnomes over the fence faster"
Ron got in Harry's face "You weren't even in the backyard yet…even if I had gotten them over there faster…you wouldn't be there to put them in the trunk!"
"Don talk to me like dat Ron!"
Ron poked Harry in the chest Then don talk to me like dat!"
"Don't poke me bitchass" Harry poked Ron again.
"Then don't poke me" Ron poked Harry.
Soon they were in that poking war again.
"OKAY OKAY ENOUGH" Ron shouted at Harry. "Damn dis solves nothing and we're both getting bruised" he said rubbing his arm.
"Yea…your right" Harry agreed " We shuld go look foe help"
"but I don wanna be haulin dat shit around" Ron said looking at the trunk.
"One of us can go…and the other will look after the trunk" Harry suggested.
"Yea…"
"I'll go look" Harry volunteered.
"Ight" Ron said sitting down next to the trunk.
Harry searched everywhere, but all he saw was grass and trees. He traveled as far as he could without getting lost, but there was nothing, just the meadow, so he decided to return to Ron. He turned and started to head back. After a while, Ron stated to come into view…and soon he saw that all of the gnomes were spread all over the grass. Ron appeared to be fine…he was simply walking around the gnomes and looking into the sky once in a while. Harry got closer and realized that the gnomes spelled out a word, but he was too far to read it. Finally he was back "Ay Ron!" He greeted "I culdn't find anything" he informed him.
"Iss alright" Ron said "Look what I did!" Ron said looking at the gnomes and admiring them.
Harry read what the gnomes spelled out. PLEH. What was PLEH?
"Ron what the fuck does PLEH mean?" Harry asked still looking at the gnome's formation.
Ron laughed…"Oh Harry…honestly sometimes I forget that you aren't as smart as I am"
Harry gave Ron a confused expression "PLEH?" he asked.
"Yes…P-L-E-H or PLEH is HELP spelled backwards" Ron said proudly.
"Why backwards?" Harry asked.
"Why? So that the helicopters can read it in the air" Ron told him.
Harry sighed and wondered how to explain Ron's mistake. "Ron…hand me that branch next to you"
Ron picked up the branch and gave it to Harry. Harry held it in his hands for a moment and smacked Ron in the head with it.
"What was that for?" Ron exclaimed.
"For being an idiot!" Harry told him.
