Summary: AU. Dean and Castiel broke up five years ago and Dean left town because the pain between them had grown to be too much. Now he's back, Dean wants to try again with a relationship but can Castiel forgive him? PLEASE REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. *Eats comfort cookies*

Pairings: Dean/Castiel, mentions of Gabriel/Jo and Sam/Sarah.


This Time Around

Chapter Seven: Goodbye, Brother

The following week was Michael's funeral, and Castiel and Gabriel were the ones who'd be carrying him for his last journey. Dean promised Castiel he'd be there, as did everyone else for the Miltons.

That morning, Castiel stood in his bedroom and fastened his suit jacket, making sure he looked extra smart for the funeral. Michael would be leaving from the funeral home and then heading to the church, where he'd be buried. He grabbed his car keys and left home, praying Dean would be there when he arrived at the funeral home. He saw the Impala as he pulled into the parking lot and smiled with relief before climbing out and feeling the tears burning up in his eyes. Reaching the door, he entered to see Dean waiting for him, with Gabriel, Sam, Jo and Sarah.

"Hey, Cas." Gabriel whispered, hugging his brother before the younger man broke into sobs.

Anna emerged from the room where Michael was being kept and saw Castiel, breaking into fresh tears before holding him tight to her.

"Hey, Anna." Castiel said softly, kissing his sister's forehead and holding her close.

"If you want to say goodbye, it's got to be now." She said quietly, Castiel nodding and heading for the back room.

Once inside, Castiel saw the casket that Michael was in. It was closed because apparently the injuries he suffered from the bomb attack, (as few as there actually were) were too disturbing to look at. Castiel stood by the box and kissed the lid.

"Oh, Michael…" he breathed, breaking into a new round of tears, "If I could just…If I could just have one more day…"

Looking to the ground, Castiel covered his eyes with his hand.

"I love you so much," He whispered, running the same hand through his hair, "And I'm so, so proud of you for fighting for your country…"

He put a hand on the box and stroked it with his thumb.

"I'm so proud of everything you ever did…and if I could take every heated argument we had back, and every bad thing I ever said to you I would…"

Thirty-four was no age to die, and Michael had been a good, brave soldier. A soldier who most people wanted to be.

"They're gonna be putting you in the car soon, Michael…and Gabriel and I…we're carrying you." Castiel told him, "Like you always used to ask us to before you went back to Iraq. We're carrying you like you carried us for all these years…and I'm gonna miss you so, so much."

Unbeknownst to Castiel, Dean was listening from the doorway and he couldn't help but shed tears for his former lover.

"You were my biggest inspiration in life, Michael…no matter what I did I always turned to you and looked up to you…" Castiel cried, stroking the coffin, "I love you…Goodbye, brother."

Castiel kissed the coffin again, Dean wiping his eyes and leaving the room before he was seen.


The Miltons held the wake at Anna's house, the one which their adoptive parents gave the children before they moved to San Francisco for their retirement. Through the entire service, Dean had held Castiel's hand, because the poor guy was so distraught. At the burial, Castiel had turned and wrapped his arms around Dean, sobbing into the older man's neck while Dean held him tight and hushed him.

"Dean…" Castiel began as he took a sip of beer, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Dean nodded and Castiel pulled him out into the backyard.

"Thank you so much for being here today…" Castiel whispered, "I could not have gotten through it without you."

Castiel would never know what went through his mind at that precise moment, but he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Dean's before wrapping his arms around him.

"Hold on a second…" Dean whispered, pushing Castiel off of him, "What was that?"

"What?" Castiel asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"That kiss…"

Castiel realised there and then that he'd told Dean not ten or eleven days ago that to come back after five years and just kiss him was out of the question.

"Dean…I…I'm so sorry…"

Dean shook his head and hugged Castiel again.

"You're upset…I understand, Cas, it's okay."

"I'm sorry…" Cas sobbed gripping Dean tighter, "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh…" Dean whispered, "Come on, you're tired…"

"Where are we going?" Castiel asked as Dean led him inside.

"You're going to bed. You've not slept properly in a week and almost everyone's gone now…so head up to bed, okay?" Dean whispered, hugging Castiel one more time before watching his former lover trudge tiredly upstairs.

Dean hoped and prayed that there would be a time that they kissed when it was reciprocated, wanted and right…he just wanted it to be right…

-TBC-