Dear Diary

Chapter 7: Worry

Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.

Winston Churchill

Dear Diary,

John and I have been together for three months now. We're settling in well, or adjusting to each other. We've both forgiven Scotty and things are easier between us. Scotty will always be my best friend. I just needed time to remember that. He was having a hard time adjusting as well. Vera and Jeffries have taken John and I being together really well. Miller just gives me goofy grins when she catches me watching John for long periods of time. There are days when I can't believe that we're together and that we're making a good go of it.

Things between Christina and I aren't as easy to put back together. We're both making an effort to over come the past. It's difficult to forget some days, but we're both trying. Our mom isn't doing so well and that, sadly, seems to be helping us. We're coming together for her sake. She's living with me right now. The doctors say that she's killing herself with her drinking. She doesn't have much time left as it is and the way she keeps on is stealing what little she does have. John accepting her as she is was a great relief for me. He comes over some evenings and we sit together, the three of us. Mom always stays away from the bottle if she knows he going to visit. Knowing that he's there when I need him is so wonderful.

Lilly laid her new notebook on the nightstand. She had bought a new one a few weeks after the first one died a horrible death by fire. She was alone with her thought for the night. John was having dinner with his daughter and Christina and Scotty had taken their mother out to dinner with them. Lilly had a feeling that Scotty was going to pop the question soon, and wanted to ask permission. It was his way; especially considering how long he and Christina had been living together. She was happy for them. Both deserved what happiness they had found with each other.

"Knock, knock." John said from the doorway. Lilly looked up in surprise. She hadn't expected him to come by since he was spending time with his daughter.

"Hey, how was your evening?" She asked.

"Good. I'm afraid we don't have much to talk about anymore. I ask about her husband and her mother. She asks about you and that's about it. It's hard. I think she still blames me for the divorce. I don't see any reason to correct her. It would only ruin her relationship with her mother and with me. So what did you do tonight?"

"I made an entry in my new journal and paid some much needed attention to the cats."

"Where's Ellen?"

"Out with Christina and Scotty. I think he wants to ask Christina to marry him. I hope she says yes is he does."

"Me too." John stood from where he had been sitting on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes, and shed his jacket and tie. Then he propped himself up next to Lilly on the bed. The cats adjusted to another body with only mild grumbles. It didn't take long before both were sleeping soundly.

An hour later when Christina dropped Ellen off, she found them. She smiled to herself and tucked her mom into her own bed.

The next morning Lilly woke to find John had already gone. He had to rise even earlier that usual when he spent the night with her, in order to get home and change and still be on time to work. She kept telling him to leave a few things at her place for those nights but he always shook his head and smiled sheepishly at her. He just wasn't quite ready for that. They hadn't slept together either, in a sexual sense. She didn't mind; she was a patient person.

Lilly walked into the precinct, bright and cheery, holding two cups of coffee. She knew the boss would need the caffeine. She knocked on his door and waited until he waved her in, as he was on the phone. She set the coffee on his desk as he ended the call.

"You are an angel." John said with a sweet smile, one he reserved especially for her.

"We've had this discussion before so I'm going to let it go this time." She answered.

"Yes, well I'm starting to agree with you especially after this morning. It was really hard to leave you. I like to watch you sleep. You're so relaxed." He paused for a moment. "I love you Lilly." Her smile which had been soft before turned brilliant."

"I love you too, John." They shared another couple of quiet minutes before the rest of the gang joined them. John waited until everyone was settled before he began.

"Do you remember the case last year, murder-suicide, mother, father, son, daughter? This girl was the only one who survived and she's in a coma?"

"Yeah, the Jacobi case. I remember." Lilly answered as the other detectives nodded in agreement.

"Well the girl woke up a few weeks ago and she's starting to remember. Scotty, you and Lilly go talk to the girl. The rest of us are going to pull the evidence and go over it." They all nodded and headed off for their assignments.

As she and Scotty walked out of the building, Lilly had distinct feeling that their case was going to test all of them

Experience: The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

Ambrose Bierce