The sun was high up in the sky and the clouds were floating peacefully. A certain unfortunate lazy ass lay on his back observing them patiently. Ever since the fiasco at the hot springs Shikamaru had tried to steer clear of Temari. He had had enough ass kicking to last him a lifetime. Plus, with the deadline for the wedding drawing ever so near he could not help but be worried.

'Why am I so worried?' thought Shikamaru as he gazed at the clouds. Could it be that he was worried for Temari's sake?

'But she's strong she can handle herself!' But, despite this logic his mind was still filled with worry. He hadn't realized how precious she had become to him, how much his love had grown. What had started as a mere tease had become full blown passion! Every waking moment had become filled with teal green eyes and sandy hair. Flowing kimonos, see through clothing, massive metal death fans screaming for blood...But I digress.

'Oh why is it always me? Damn my innocence and my overly dramatic acting!' Shikamaru suddenly didn't feel like watching the clouds. He decided he'd take a walk about town.

'Wow what a nice day it is.' He smiled 'I hope I don't run into Naruto or Sasuke. Those morons would spoil it!'

"Shikamaru! Wow you're up early. Believe it!"

'Motherfucker...'

"So Shikamaru whatcha doin'?" whined the pestering buffoon.

"Naruto, aren't you late for being an idiot somewhere?"

"Oh my gosh you're right! I have to do stupid things to try to impress Sakura and….hey wait a minute!"

They both laughed. "Wow Naruto you're still the same moron!"

"Hahaha…very funny lazy bum!" he leered, "So what's this I hear about you and Temari getting married?"

At that Shikamaru's face turned red. Naruto grinned like a fox.

"How the hell do you know about that?"

"Well baa-chan told me! So I guess it is true! Mwahaha! And here the rookie nine were placing bets on whether or not you were gay!"

"Keep it down Naruto somebody could-

"Shikamaru's getting married?" yelled Ino.

'Oh fuck! Not the biggest gossip girl in Konoha!'

"Who's gay?" asked Kiba.

"That's not fair Shika! How come you didn't tell me? I want to organize a bachelorette party for Temari an…"

"Huh?" she looked around "Where'd he go?"

Shikamaru had been lucky to escape! He didn't want to go into the details of how this marriage was fake! Or talk about his preferences with Kiba…he was fresh out of dog treats.

'Finally some peace and quiet!' thought the lazy genius, settling comfortably on the grass.

But no matter how hard he tried Shikamaru just couldn't go to sleep. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he wanted to spend time with Temari. He had grown more and more attached to her. In fact it was becoming an obsession.

'Am I perverted for wanting a woman in my life?' he wondered, all sorts of images popping into his mind. 'While they are troublesome yah can't live without em.'

Maybe what Ino said was right. Maybe they should celebrate their fake wedding. Shikamaru wasn't one for parties, but a nice dinner at a restaurant wasn't too troubelsome. In fact, their was a new restaurant that had just opened up. Shikamaru had always wanted to try it out and what better time than the present?

'Okay it's settled then. I'm gonna show Temari the time of her life! After all we may not survive the wedding!' he sighed.

'And maybe afterwards we can play tonsil hockey and…' He shook the thoughts out of hid head. 'Damn that woman!'

Shikamaru quickly teleported to his house.

"Temari! Are you here?" asked Shikamaru looking everywhere, "Huh that's strange, she's usually in this time of day."

Shikamaru looked in every room. He eventually found her sleeping on the couch in a rather compromising position. Her Kimono was undone at the top and bottom. The sash around her waist was untied and worst of all she was tilted so that she was facing Shikamaru. As you can imagine, Temari wasn't wearing much under her Kimono (yes I know, how perverted) and that greeted Shikamaru with a very interesting sight.

'Oh jeez, I think I just heard my pants rip!'

" Huh who's there?" asked Temari with a yawn as she opened her eyes.

But at that very moment Shikamaru's pants indeed ripped and fell down. In the haste to pull them back up Shikamaru ended up pulling his underwear down as well.

In order to save you the trouble and not to waste time, I think I'll just skip the chaos that ensued this awkward moment. Let's just say that Temari got more than she wanted to see, Shikamaru got a healthy dosage of pain, and the narrator happily pictured the fight in his head.

After the fight…

"So umm Temari." Shikamaru fidgeted.

"Yes Shika?" Temari avoided looking at him.

"I was wondering. Would you like to go to a restaurant?"

"What's the occasion?"

"You." Shikamaru blurted out.

"Me? Shika that's…"Temari blushed, "I mean sure let's go."

"Really? That's great!"

Shikamaru was elated, in spite of the incident earlier…Finally he had a date with the only woman he ever cared for! (Aside from his mother who, coincidentally, also made his life a living hell.)Together the couple made their way to the restaurant and they were soon seated.

"Good evening. Would you like to see the menu?" asked a waiter.

"Sure." said Shikamaru.

"Our special today is Lamb Ribs with rosemary and a side of tuscan potatoes and bell peppers."

"Sounds great! I'll have that." said Temari.

"Make that two" Shikamaru beamed.

"Okay. What would you like to drink?"

"Jim Beam with ice." said Shikamaru.

"Okay. And you miss?"

"Captain Morgan's spiced rum, straight up, please.'

"Okay, coming right up." said the waiter and he left them alone.

"Wow!" said Shikamaru, "It's nice to see a woman who can hold her liquor. Usually gals order wine or a martini."

"Hehehe. I don't know what women you've been around Shikamaru, but I'm not like the rest."

Shikamaru barely stopped himself from saying 'Your chest speaks for itself'. Biting his lip until he could think clearly, he said,

"That's why I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone before."

"Shika…"

Shikamaru leaned in for a kiss but was interrupted by…

"See Chouji, I told you it was true!" screamed an excited blond.

'Damn it's Ino!'

"See Chouji it's true, they are getting married!"

"Ino shut up!" yelled Shikamaru, "You don't know anything!"

"He has a point Ino. You should back off." said Chouji.

"Like hell I will! I'm the rumor queen of Konoha, I have to make stupid and retarded remarks about every relationship! Including my non-existant one with Sasuke! Jeez, don't you know anything?"

"Speaking of relationships, why are you and Chouji here?" asked Temari with an evil grin.

"Well that's because…umm…"

"Hahaha! Real smooth Ino. Talking about other peoples relationships on a date!" said Shikamaru.

"Common Chouji!" yelled Ino, "Let's go!"

"See yah Shikamaru." said Chouji as he was pulled away.

"Fwooh! Glad that's over. Thanks for the help Temari. I hope that didn't spoil the evening?"

"It's okay Shikamaru. As long as you're here this evening couldn't be any better." said Temari. She than gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Shikamaru was about to lean in for a second but the waiter arrived carrying their orders. The rest of the dinner went smoothly (in other words, no more "Inoterruptions")

"Thanks Shikamaru I had a really great time." Temari smiled lovingly after the dinner.

"Your welcome Temari, lets go home."

On the way home Shikamaru began to obsess about Temari. He wanted to hold her in his arms and well…do stuff. Perhaps it was the alcohol he consumed or maybe it was the way she was dressed. Perhaps the narrator wanted some action. Whatever it was, it was turning him on! By the time they reached his apartment he was passed desperate.

Getting hot, do not read if under 18 or over Sixty

"Thanks again Shikamaru it was uumph…" Temari's words were stopped by his lips. He pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss. Shikamaru was hungry for her and he could not be satiated. His hands roamed freely over her body. She yelped when he touched her thigh but he kept on going. He steered her towards the bedroom and lifted her up into his arms. He practically threw her on the bed and ripped his shirt off. Temari seemed to get the message and undid her Kimono.

"Boy, I hope this isn't a genjutsu!" said Shikamaru as he viewed her naked body. The skin flawless and the form voluptuous.

Shikamaru took off his pants followed by his underwear.

"I hope that isn't a genjutsu either!" said Temari as she directed her gaze southward.

Shikamaru leaned over her and they began to make out again. His hands began to fondle her breasts and he heard Temari moan in his mouth.

"Umm Shika!" gasped Temari, when she felt something poke against her thigh,

"Sorry Temari. I forgot to take the kunai out from under my mattress." said Shikamaru as he quickly disposed of the annoying knife. The kunai flew out the window, and straight at a certain someone.

"Ramen is the best! Believe it!" Naruto was instantly impaled by the knife in his arm.

"Ah fuck! Why me?"

Shikamaru then proceeded to kiss her stomach and abdomen, before finally reaching her womanhood.

"Don't tell me you're scared, crybaby."

"I'm feeling a lot of things but scared's not one of em."

"Then common lazy ass we don't have all day!"

"If you insist…."

'Man what a demanding woman!' thought Shikamaru, 'Tonight's gonna be fun!'

Shikamaru positioned himself between her legs and looked at her for permission.

To be continued…