We were reluctant to leave the restaraunt, not because we didn't want to get back to the hotel, but because the heavens had opened. Gary had gone to enquire about a taxi.
"Bad news, I'm afraid, it'll be at least an hour. I can go and pick the car up if you wait here."
"No, it's not that far and it does appear to be easing off anyway."
As is the way in life the second we stepped out of the door, it got heavier again, it was only 5 minutes back to the hotel, but we both managed to get soaked to the skin. Gary had given me his jacket, so his shirt had gone completely see through, naturally this made me even more determined to get back to the room.
"Is it raining then?" The girl behind the desk asked.
"No, we decided to go swimming fully clothed." I replied.

"Where are the coat hangers? We need to hang our things up to dry."
"In the wardrobe, you are being far too boring and practical, it's our wedding night."
The next morning there was little evidence of the boring and practical Gary. Clothes littered the room, one of her shoes was in the bin, his boxers were on the bathroom door handle and her bra hung limply from the ceiling fan.
"Morning Mrs Preston."
Opening my eyes to see the carnage I couldn't help but giggle.
"We made a bit of a mess didn't we Mr Preston."
"We did, so I'm sorry but Mr Boring and Practical is taking over this morning. We have less than 20 minutes before we need to check out, and as much as I would love to stay in bed with you for ever, we need to get back to real life."
"Tea bags."
"What?"
"I just remembered that Stevie text me to tell me we needed tea bags."

The drive home was long and stressful, we had to sit on the M6 for an hour because someone had crashed into their own caravan. We were then pursued by the same AA man when we stopped for a cup of tea. This meant that we arrived back just as the shop was closing, which at least meant I could break the news to Stevie in relative peace.
"I'm sorry sir, we're just about to close."
"I thought child labour was illegal."
"Miranda, I'm so sorry. Did you get the tea bags?"
"Yes, Gary's got them, he'll be just a minute.
It was then she noticed there was something a little different about my hand, but dismissed it as a trick of the light. It was only when Gary came in carrying our bags that she realised he had a matching trick of the light.

I invited her up for a drink and to explain what had happened, but she beat me to it."
"Are you guys married?"
"I was going to build up to this, but yes we are, how did you know?"
"The rings, I thought it was a trick of the light at first, and my I ask when?"
"Yesterday, the car hadn't broken down, we went to Gretna Green."
I went on to explain about sleeping off my hangover and that's how I didn't know we were taking a small detour, our painfully long 3 hour engagement and of course, the Toy Story wedding.
"So we'd be really grateful if you don't tell anyone until we've had the chance to tell our families." Gary ended.
"I'd better go, I know what newlyweds are like."
"Stevie!"

"Morning Stevie, is Miranda here?"
"No, she's upstairs."
Not only do I regret giving Stevie a key, as she steals my groceries, I really regret giving mum one at all.
(The front door opens)
"Arghhhhhhhh"
Let's just say Gary and I were in a compromising position, cue much screaming and reaching for throws.
"I'll be in the shop."

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Stevie asked?
"Have you got anything stronger? I've just had a terrifying experience."
"Oh?" Stevie said, slightly confused.
"I just walked in on Gary and Miranda."
"Oh dear." She said, stifling a laugh. "You can't blame them, they are newlyweds."
"What?"
It was at this point we came into the shop, looking suitably embarrassed.
"You're married?"
"Stevie. How does she know?"
"It just slipped out, sorry."
"Yes mother, we are, we eloped yesterday."
"That's wonderful darling, I must go and tell Belinda, you have stolen Tilly's, what I call thunder."
"How could you tell her?"
"It was an accident, honest, I'm really and truly sorry."