A week had passed in the blink of an eye. The temperature had taken a dive indicating that Los Angeles was well into Winter by now, and it was nearing Christmas- blinking lights, tinsel, and decorations bringing in the spirit of the season. Though, Sebastian wasn't really in the festive type of mood. Somehow he had managed to miss two weeks worth of work and was now paying the price by fitting in all the work he missed into a single week as many of the businesses he worked with were closing until next year and needed to get everything done before hand. So, really, he had two weeks to make up and two weeks to cram- all squeezed into one hectic schedule that was absolutely obliterating his sleep schedule. Not to mention he had been in a mood lately, not quite moody and not quite upset but horrendously unsettled. Constantly.

He hadn't seen Adrian since the man had left his apartment that afternoon and with his feelings being the way that they were, he had really wanted some kind of confirmation in his attraction. That it wasn't just him being horny from the extreme lack of sex life. Or momentary delusion brought on by his illness. Or an untimely heart disorder that he should probably go to the doctor about.

But although he had no visual confirmation from seeing the man face to face he couldn't deny the strange ache he felt every time he read the delicately flowing script left on a piece of paper he had found in his living room.

I've got to get going, as I have no valid excuse for missing work and William can only be so patient. My apologies for leaving so suddenly.

Your fever seems to have gone down. I'm sure you'll be feeling healthy enough to get back to work soon. Missing any more than this to a common illness is unprofessional and I'd like to think better of you. Although you slept most of the time I was there, being your caretaker was an experience I won't soon forget.

I look forward to seeing us in the Black Desire magazine in January.

Sincerely, AC

Sebastian was quick to realize that the message had been written right before Adrian had left his apartment. Right after the… tender moment that they had. And surely that was how it read; overly polite,just enough teasing to make it seem natural, but with the ramblings of someone skirting around what they actually wanted to say. He definitely wasn't reading too much into it. And he definitely hadn't spent hours analyzing every letter. Definitely.

To be completely honest, Sebastian had desperately wanted to see the type of face Adrian had made as he had touched him- was he smirking? Not making any expression at all? Smiling tenderly down at him? Was his expression wracked with longing?

It was eating him up inside and was all that filled his brain when he wasn't preoccupied. All he could think about at night… and he would be especially ashamed to admit that he had gotten off at night to each of those facial possibilities.

The almost unconscious action had intrigued him. Adrian- the man who seemed to always be so put together and purposeful. The man who seemed to be so hyperaware of every move his body made, he had to be anyways for him to have gotten so far in modelling, deciding what emotions to display to the camera through body movement- that was what he did best. But he had seemed to lose control of himself in that moment and Sebastian needed to know why.

So, it was pissing him off that the silver haired man hadn't been seen or spoken of even once in the past week. It was as if he had vanished off the face of the earth. All Sebastian wanted now was to see what kind of facial expression he would make when those green eyes gazed upon him again.

At the company holiday party he had discreetly mentioned Adrian and there was some mumbling that he had returned home for the holidays. Though, nobody knew when he was supposed to be back.

Sebastian had decided to take out his frustrations on Claude who, in his opinion, was largely to blame. If only he had been a good friend for once in his life and taken care of him- words to which Claude had responded with an eyeroll and a firm "get over it. I did my part." Sebastian realized with a scowl what exactly his friend had seen as "his part". The thought of Claude matchmaking was disturbing.

To make matters worse, the dancing training for Hannah and Claude's wedding had begun a few days prior and spending two and a half hours being in extremely close quarters with Nina was slowing driving him to insanity. The instructor gave them instruction, and Nina repeated the instruction- nitpicking Sebastian's every movement. "She said to the left not to the right you idiot!", "You're supposed to lead with your left foot not just step with it.", "How are you supposed to be my partner if you aren't moving at the same time as me! For god's sake a 5 year old could probably handle this!" Though he supposed it was payback for all the times he had made fun of her odd preference in… people. Karma. It was a bitch.

And on top of everything he had a meeting with Black Desire tomorrow and he really was in no mood to deal with Victoria yelling at him again. At the very least he was glad he had actually checked his email in the first place and was actually aware that there was a meeting. He shuddered to think of what would have happened had he not and actually missed the meeting. Victoria might have actually killed him. She had been threatening to fire him for a long time but he was confident in his position as one of the top models.

But Adrian was supposed to be there. A fact that kept running through his mind as he laid on his couch, staring at the ceiling.

He finally had a moment to rest as to best of his knowledge, nothing was scheduled today. And if there actually was… he was busy. Relaxing.

Earlier he had been flipping through channels reading the show descriptions and looking for something in particular. As to what that was he had convinced himself that he was simply looking for a new show to watch and not whatever show it was that Adrian had been watching. But in either case he had no luck, he was more of a movie than a TV show person and as there were no decent movies on he had shut it off and taken to watching the ceiling.

He felt restless, as though he wanted to do something. But he wasn't really sure what. He wanted to know, he wanted some answers and it wasn't like there was anyone he could ask. He really knew nothing about what being gay meant. Not that he had anything against it, he didn't feel like his life would be over if he actually was. But he wanted a convenient test or questionnaire that would tell him if he was or not so that way he didn't have to spend so much time wondering. Picking his brain for any little detail, any moment he could pinpoint and state that for a fact that meant he was gay. Claude's words had been ringing in his head ever since he heard him and although he had a point there was something wrong about what he had said.

Sure, Sebastian wasn't as interested in the opposite sex as his friends were- especially considering that they all either had girlfriends, fiancees, or wives- but he wasn't more interested in the same sex either. He had never even thought about another man in that way but he'd also never thought of anyone in a clearly romantic way. When he was with Beast, she had shown obvious interest and him and he had simply thought having sex with her might be worthwhile. Neither of them really thought anything of each other outside of the sex. Sebastian did it on a whim and Beast had apparently been trying to get over a one-sided love.

And all the other relationships he'd been in had been the same. Short, mostly sex and he thought little of its ending.

Sebastian was rattled out of his thoughts by the sound of a doorbell ringing. The doorbell he forgot he even had. Everyone who visited him knocked on the door.

With a huff and exaggerated sigh at having to get up, he drifted over to the door.

He had at least learned from his mistakes and checked the peephole before opening the door.

Well… that was new.

He opened the door, confusion painting his features.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Well, that's no way to greet your boss." Vincent greeted with a smirk.

Sebastian's confusion only increased.

"I've learned the best way to get you somewhere on time was to come and pick you up personally."

"Uh…"

"Been awhile since we last talked, hasn't it? Here I am thinking that we're friends." Sebastian frowned, and straightened. What Vincent was saying made sense but there was always something remotely threatening in the way he spoke and Sebastian had no idea why he had popped up on his doorstep out of the blue. That wasn't like him.

"...We are." Sebastian said, finally. Only after carefully searching Vincent's face for any clues. "Sorry, you don't usually do anything spontaneous like this so it's a little… confusing."

"Ah, my apologies." The older man stated, scratching the back of his neck almost awkwardly.

"I just really wanted to talk to you about something in particular that's been bothering me." He explained, looking up once again.

"What is it?" Sebastian questioned. Vincent smiled and gestured behind him.

"Not here. Let's go for coffee." Sebastian made a face, dreading actually having to leave his apartment.

Vincent, noting his discontent, grinned.

"So, I'm telling you, as your boss… get in my car."


The cafe they went to was down the street, which was strange because Sebastian didn't think he'd ever even seen it in the 6 years he's lived there. In any event it was a small building, with a warm feel and comforting vibe likely due to the elderly couple that managed it. Vincent had sat them down at a table by the window, it was cloudy outside and very cold and if Sebastian had bothered to think about it he might have wondered if Vincent prefered this type of weather due to his time in England.

"Remember when we were first getting to know each other and everyone thought we were brothers?" The older man said out of the blue. Sebastian glanced at him but he was still looking out of the window.

"Yeah. We really don't look that much alike, though."

Vincent chuckled. "We certainly do not. But I've never had a brother so it was a nice thought."

"Me neither. Although Claude is as much of a brother as I'm going to get."

"Sometimes we have to settle for things beyond our control." Vincent responded, seeming like he was talking more to himself than to Sebastian.

"Yeah."

They both sat in contemplative silence, each lost in thought. One of the staff members brings over their coffee after a while, breaking the atmosphere.

"So, what was bothering you?" Sebastian asks, realizing that they somehow got off that topic.

Vincent pauses from taking a sip of his coffee. "Oh right- well I couldn't help but notice your...lack of focus in the last month or so. Really the last two months. To be quite honest with you I wasn't sure if I wanted to address that as your boss or as your friend but I suppose given the nature of things I'll have to go with the latter."

Sebastian swallowed thickly, reading something heavy in those hazel eyes but not knowing what exactly it was.

"So, I assume that this lack of focus is due to our recent addition? Adrian that is?" Sebastian frowned and nibbled on his lip, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable and avoided eye contact.

"What, did Claude tell you that?" Vincent smiled and let out a small breathy note of amusement from his nose.

"No, Claude didn't say anything about it. But your behavior has been rather obvious, especially since we've all known you for so long. Your work ethic is awful but you're usually at least professional once you've begun your work but that hasn't been the case recently." Sebastian was quiet for a long moment, mulling over what exactly was being said to him. He felt itchy, like he wanted to crawl out of his skin from the unexpected and unfiltered scrutiny. Was his work ethic really that bad?

"So… what exactly is bothering you?" He asked, meeting Vincent's eyes once again. The older man gave him a knowing look paired with a slight smirk and that feeling of underlying hostility had suddenly returned.

"What do you feel towards Adrian exactly?" The question unnerved Sebastian and he was so shocked that he found himself unable to answer- not even to make up a convincing lie. Vincent's expression morphed again and Sebastian suddenly felt as though he were being interrogated by a particularly untraditional cop.

He somehow felt like there was a misunderstanding and though he wasn't sure exactly what it was he spoke up anyways. "Vincent I know that the two of you had a… thing or whatever it was." The older man looked visibly shocked.

"How on earth would you know that?"

"Uh... Diedrich told me."

Vincent's expression relaxed and he leaned back in his chair nodding his head absentmindedly. "I should have known…" He mumbled.

"Well in any event, that makes this a lot easier." Sebastian furrowed his brows in confusion once more.

"What easier?"

"I just wanted to tell you that if you're conflicted because of me you don't need to be. The two of us are friends. Always have been." Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed further as his confusion mounted.

"Friends? But Diedrich made it sound like-"

"Yes. We did things friends don't do but we weren't dating. It's an impossible task to be friends with someone like him and not have any less than decent thoughts." The two went quiet and Sebastian felt a flush creep up his ears as embarrassment overtook him.

"Ah…" Vincent sighed after a while. "Glad we finally got that out of the way, I was dreading having this conversation."

"What, why?"

"Well… I don't often talk about my time in college. Being married with a child and all. It's somehow… embarrassing to bring it up?" Sebastian froze, jaw dropping.

Vincent frowned.

"What? Is it that unbelievable that I can be embarrassed about something?" He chuckled lightly. "I am a human you know."

"No. You were just… do you know that your embarrassed facial expressions are vaguely threatening?"

Vincent smirked. "I have been told that before."

"I thought you were gonna fight me for him." Sebastian choked out.

"Would you fight me for him?" Vincent shot back, catching Sebastian completely off guard. He floundered for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to form a response.

"W-why would I?" He managed, it sounded weak even to him. Vincent regarded him carefully seemingly studying his face for the words he wouldn't say. After a moment he sighed, picking up his cup of coffee and swirling it around as it had likely begun to settle.

"Don't wait too long to come a conclusion, Sebastian. Sometimes we think too much about things and try to find meaning in everything when sometimes it's better to act first and think about it later." Sebastian sighed as well, staring deeply into his empty cup as though it would magically give him his answer.


For once, Sebastian was actually on time to a meeting. And he suspected that the scrutiny Vincent had given him yesterday had made him a bit more conscious of himself. Victoria had been surprised but merely gave him a raise of a finely arched eyebrow before she sat down. Everyone was chatting idly but Sebastian didn't feel much up for small talk. His leg was moving a mile a minute under the table as wave after wave of anxiety rolled over him. Adrian hadn't arrived yet and once again Sebastian was beginning to believe the talk he had with Vincent the day before had affected him more than he originally thought. He had spent all night testing his resolve, thinking of something, anything he could do to come to some conclusion about how Adrian felt about him. His feelings of course we're clear. Clear enough that all of his friends had noticed. But now he felt like the thirteen year old girl Claude had called him a few weeks ago, having a crush and wondering desperately if his feelings were reciprocated. It was disgusting. But there was really nothing he could do about it.

"Alright, all we all set? Everyone here?" The media manager asked. Everyone looked around, surveying faces.

"Uh… I don't think Mr. Crevan is here." One of the photographers spoke up.

Victoria frowned, analyzing the room a second time.

"Hmph." She breathed, not sounding pleased in the slightest. "Perhaps he got the schedule mixed up. No matter. I'll get in touch with his manager after and relay the important information."

"Alright so-" Sebastian tuned out what they were saying as disappointment sunk in. As the minutes dragged on, the faint hope that Adrian would just show up late faded away and soon enough the meeting was over without him ever meeting those emerald eyes.

He collected the papers that had been handed out and walked dazedly out of the office. A few people attempted to talk to him, they were a good team and he would usually go out to lunch with some of them after meetings. Though, today he just really wasn't in the mood and brushed off the invitations with barely coherent excuses.

But as he opened the door to leave he was met with the resistance of someone opening it from the other side and a high pitched shriek. Sebastian attempted opening the door again, hoping that the person had moved out of the way and that they wouldn't have to do some stupid back and forth dance to go through the door.

Luckily they had. Unfortunately it wasn't exactly someone wanted to see at the moment.

"Oh! Sebastian!" The high pitched voice cried out. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Sebastian groaned internally, as he was met with Grell Sutcliffe.

"It's just not fair to be suddenly assaulted with so much attractiveness! I need to prepare! And I'm not nearly dressed well enough!" Sebastian had already begun to tune them out, imagining he was literally anywhere else.

"Wait… has the meeting ended already? Ugh! I knew I shouldn't have taken the time to straighten my hair! Oh he's going to be so mad at me! This is why I told him Will should do this!"

"Wait, what?" Sebastian had picked up words like "he" and "Will" and suddenly began to wonder why Grell was here in the first place.

Grell's rambling paused, and a look of distress came to their face.

"I was supposed to sit in on the meeting for Adrian. But I guess I've missed it now." Sebastian's mind was working a mile a minute some faint feeling of hope taking over.

"Why?" He asked, with a sense of urgency. Grell gave him a funny look.

"Well... because he told me he wasn't feeling very well today." What?

"When's the last time you saw him?" Grell pursed their lips and thought for a moment.

"I think I last saw him when Will and I picked him up from the airport? Why?" Sebastian's heart was nearly pounding out of his chest.

"Um…" He struggled to think of an excuse that would get him what he wanted. "Don't you think someone should go and check on him? If he isn't feeling well?"

"Well, I was planning on heading over to his flat after the meeting…" Grell trailed off looking distraught again.

"That you missed." Sebastian finished. Grell's head cocked and their eyes narrowed.

Sebastian continued regardless. "Since I sat for the meeting," he didn't add in that he had been completely unfocused and tuned most of it out. "I could go in your place and check on him."

"Why would you want to do that? From what I've seen, you don't seem to like him all that much." Sebastian groaned internally, Grell wasn't as stupid as he thought.

He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Well, he did come and take care of me for a few days while I was sick, I can at least return the favor." Grell eyed him suspiciously before a mischievous smirk suddenly formed on their face.

"Fine. But what do I get out of this?"

"What do you get out of this?" Sebastian repeated, frowning.

"Yes. What do I," and at this Grell took a step forward, suddenly way too close for comfort. "get out of this?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes as it clicked in his head. He gently pushed Grell backwards and a comfortable distance away.

"Fine. I'll take you to lunch-"

"Dinner." Grell interjected.

Sebastian huffed.

"Alright, dinner. But on a day, time, and restaurant of my choice."

Grell pouted but acquiesced with a wide grin.

"Right then, I'm holding you to that. Give me something to write with I'll give you the address and room number."


Now that Sebastian was standing outside of what Grell had called Adrian's "flat" he was seriously beginning to wonder if this was a good idea. He should have known that Adrian would be staying here, one of the grandest penthouses in Los Angeles; widely known for their celebrity guests. And as he entered through the spindle glass doors, greeted by not one but two bellhops asking about his stay, and then encountered the burly security guards; he was beginning to understand why Grell had emphasized that he memorize the 5 digit password necessary to be allowed into the elevator that was specific for each of the 23 floors. He could practically feel the multitude of eyes questioning his intentions as he punched in the code into the keypad. It was understandable, surely they had a lot of crazed fans hoping to get a peak at their idol and putting in random codes in the hope that they would manage to stumble across the right one that would allow them up.

He let out a sigh of relief as the keypad showed a green light and the elevator doors opened.

He had tried to ignore the furious anxiety that had been causing his heart to palpitate and his palms to sweat but standing in an elevator going up to Adrian's Load Angeles residence with nothing but his thoughts and tacky elevator music didn't leave much room for distraction. To be quite honest he felt like a crazed fangirl; making up a story and bribing someone to give him Adrian's address. It was all a bit too ridiculous.

But here he was. Doing it anyways.

He was shocked out of his thoughts as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open revealing a bright hallway with a door at the end.

He was really doing this.

Sebastian stepped forward with a hint of hesitation. Taking deep breaths to calm the racing of his heart and thinking of something intelligent to say when those eyes met his again.

He raised his hand to knock but almost fell backwards with shock as the door suddenly opened and someone stumbled out with a laugh. They nearly ran into him before they turned and came to a stop with a sound of surprise.

"Oh! Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me! What the fuck…" Sebastian was in complete shock looking at the shorter man in front of him clutching his chest and doubling over. His hair was a mess, strawberry blonde and black hair sticking up in all sorts of directions, his glasses were crooked on his face, sweater falling off one shoulder, pants unzipped and sliding off slender hips, one shoe had the laces untied. He looked like he had just thrown on all his clothes in a hurry.

After a moment the man straightened, looking at Sebastian curiously.

"Uh… Sebastian… right?" Sebastian could do little but nod slowly.

The man smiled awkwardly.

"Ronald… in case you-um… don't remember." He shifted a bit, visibly uncomfortable. Though as he did, his sweater fell even further down his arm and a purplish mark became visible on his ivory skin. Sebastian averted his eyes from the mark as if he had been slapped.

"Um… well I was actually kind of in a hurry… if you don't… mind…" Ronald mumbled, making an awkward gesture towards the elevator. Sebastian numbly stepped to the side, allowing him past.

He waited a minute, listening to the elevator doors open and close before looking up.

The door was left open.

Nausea rolled in the pit of Sebastian's stomach as he stepped forward. He gently rapped his fist against the door. His mind was racing thinking of all the implications and possibilities that couldn't possibly be true.

"Ron?" A deeply accented voice called from inside. "Did you forget something?"

And before Sebastian could even debate his options and how quickly he thought he could get to the elevator; the man he had been wanting to see was before him.

The telltale scent of sex wafted out of the doorway as it opened and Adrian stepped out, pulling a white shirt over his head. He was wearing sweatpants, an incredibly odd sight if Sebastian had stopped to think about it.

The man's eyes widened as he saw Sebastian standing there and the smirk that he had walked out with disappeared.

That was definitely not kind of face he had been longing to see.

"Oh." His hair, a complete mess, was hastily gathered up into a ponytail that was hardly any less messy.

"Uh… Sebastian." A throat clear as his gravely morning voice added fuel to his accent sending a tingle down Sebastian's body.

"What are you… doing here?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe casually. Sebastian wasn't sure what kind of face he was making. He wasn't sure of a lot of things. And while his brain worked to find some kind of rational explanation for what he had just seen- for what he was seeing right in front of him. He just couldn't shake the anger that was rising up from the numbness and shock.

He felt like an idiot. A complete and total fool. How long had he been going around like a lovesick teenage girl? How long had his mind been overrun with delusions of what was happening? How bad had it gotten that he felt himself still trying to dent the oh so obvious truth spelled out right in front of him? Adrian wasn't interested in him. He was probably messing with him, as revenge for the rude things Sebastian had said when they first met. All of this had been some clever attempt to seduce him.

Anger bubbled over into a blinding rage and before Sebastian could even fully register what he was doing, his arm was suddenly moving and his hand connected with a hard surface before he could even ball it into a fist. The sound resounded and seemed to echo loudly in the small hallway.

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in surprise as his vision suddenly focused and he was looking at the quickly reddening mark on Adrian's cheek. Adrian, himself, seemed shocked; slowly bringing up a hand and cupping his jaw. Sebastian retracted the hand that was being held in the air and stared at it in disbelief.

That was the first time he'd ever hit someone.

Oh! So close to 5,000 words but just a little short. I've been excited for this chapter for so long. I'm really glad with how it turned out. Hope I took you on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster! Felt like I had something important to say but I can't remember so- see you guys next chapter. Which might be even more of a rollercoaster than this. ;)