Childhood Memories

I love you, You love me, Naruto I don't own Thee…

Did I say that right?

Chapter 7


This sucks, this sucks, and… this SUCKS!! Hidan yelled mentally, running across the rooftops of Konoha. I don't even know –or remember- where Hina-chan lives!! He tripped on a tree branch. He fell to the ground face first. "Ow… Ow… owww. Oh, did I mention that this hurts?" He asked himself, getting up. He looked at the building in front of him. His eyes widened.

Hyuga

The nameplate read. He jumped up in victory. "Awesome!" He cheered, walking up to the door. Suddenly a shadow appeared above him. He looked up to see Deidara and Itachi falling down. Heading straight for him. Why not use your cool ninjutsu? Hm?

"AAAHH!!" He screamed as Itachi and Deidara fell on top of him. "Hey! There it is!" Deidara said, getting up towards the door. A hand pulled him down. Itachi walked up to the door until Hidan tackled him. And poor Deidara was in the middle of it.

Finally finding his way out of the mess, he crawled to the door. He was about to knock when something hit him… hit him like… like…

Flashback

"Heads up!

Deidara looked up. A football and hit him flat on the face, knocking him out cold.

End Flashback

Deidara turned around quickly only to be punched by Hidan. Yeah, the football felt just like that… only it dropped to the ground. This similar action, however, came back again and again.

Yes… Hidan kept punching Deidara until Itachi tackled him as well.

It all stopped when they heard the door open.

There in the doorway stood…


"HINATA!! STOP DEIDARA FROM KILLING MEE!!!" Ino cried, running behind Hinata. "Don't use Hinata as your human meat shield!!" Deidara yelled. Somehow he had acquired a medieval mace…

"Now Deidara be reasonable. Revenge is pointless." Itachi reasoned. "I don't wanna be hearing that from you, Itachi…" Deidara said, walking closer to Ino. She stupidly abandoned her hiding spot and ran. I mean who runs from a perfect hiding spot? Come on!

Deidara was about to chase after her until Hinata grabbed his shirt. He tripped and fell. "Ow!" He cried. He looked up at Hinata. "Revenge is bad." She said sternly, giving him a small pout. Deidara blushed. Hidan was struggling to restrain himself from hugging her to death.

Now Itachi, However, did something way out of character. He went over and hugged her, giving her a proud smile. "That's good, Hinata-chan." He said. Hinata blushed at first, then smiled back. Deidara stood up. "Hey!!" He yelled. "Jealous?" Itachi asked, smirking. He hugged Hinata a little tighter. Hidan tackled him. "IF I CAN'T HUG HER, YOU CAN'T EITHER!!" He yelled. Itachi managed to push him off, brushing off the dust. "What are you doing!?" He asked. "I miss my Hina-chan…" he said, sniffling.

"Aw…I miss you too… I guess." Hinata said.

Something sparked in Deidara's head. "Hey… when are you guys leaving?" He asked. Hidan laughed. "Leaving? What're you talking about?" He laughed. "You know, leaving my house, never coming back, when does that happen?" Deidara asked. "Oh. You thought I was joking about moving in. I was DEAD SERIOUS." Hidan said. Deidara looked at everyone behind him. They had all their stuff packed and ready to go. But Hidan's stuff however…

His sleeping bag was open, unmade. His toothbrush had made its place in the bathroom, along with his towel, all his magazines were scattered on the floor, and his little pet hamster was sitting on the coffee table.

DEIDARA'S IMAGINATION

When The Yamanaka parents came home…

"Deidara? Ino? We're home!" They're mother called.

"Hi mom!" Deidara said.

"Hello mommy!" Ino said.

"H-hello Mrs. Yamanaka…" Hinata greeted.

Hidan came jumping out. "HELLO NEW MOTHER!!" he cried, while holding his pet hamster.

Silence…

END OF DEIDARA'S IMAGINATION

Deidara shuddered. "NO!!! GET OUT!! NOW, NOW, NOW!!! MY MOM'S MY MOM!!" He yelled, wrecking all of Hidan's things, leaving the hamster alone, of course. "NOOOOOO!!!! WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" Hidan yelled, picking up the stuff Deidara… destroyed. "I'm talking about you making my mom your mom when your mom isn't your mom no more!!" Deidara yelled, throwing the destroyed items in a garbage bag. "…What!?" Hidan asked. "I'm saying I don't want you moving in. You have a family at home, don't you!?" Deidara asked (rather heartlessly).

Kakuzu, who was behind Hidan signaled in their own language, "Bad spot! Bad spot!" Deidara looked at him then at Hidan, who was near crying. "No…" He said quietly. "Well… if you count Mr. Snuggles (the hamster) then… maybe…" He whispered. "You see that sleeping bag? The one you're stuffing in that garbage can over there? That's my actual bed. And that tooth brush? You don't wanna know where I got that. And my towel? I just glued a nice rug to a piece of bendy cardboard…"Hidan trailed off to wipe away the tears. REAL ONES. (What? You thought I was joking about his troubled past?)

"But what happened to your parents?" Hinata asked, really getting into the drama of the story.

"You see," Kakuzu filled in for Hidan, who burst into tears. "Me and Hidan are half brothers." Ino ran to the bathroom. "Well, you see… Hidan's father was an alcoholic, a gambling freak, a fatass, a jack ass…" Kakuzu trailed off. "You get it. So Hidan lived his whole younger childhood in debt." Hinata spoke up. "What about his mother?" Hidan cried louder. "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I'M ASHAMED TO CALL HER MOTHER!!!" he yelled. Kakuzu looked at her. "Do you really want to know?" He asked. Hinata silently shook her head. Itachi raised his hand. "I wanna know." He stated. Everyone else followed. "Oh fine! I'll tell you!" Kakuzu said. "You see, she went to jail to meet her lover, who wasn't a male. That's all I'm telling you." Kakuzu said flatly. By now, Ino had come out of the bathroom only to run back inside. "Does that mean… that her lover was an… animal…?" Hinata wondered. Deidara fell down.

"…yeah. Sure." Kakuzu said slowly. Hinata was just curious, that's all… At least we know she has an active imagination…! Oh my god…

"Anyway… After his father had finally killed himself in a car accident, he found Mr. Snuggles in the street. He took him to my house, where he threw fairly big pebbles… at the door, to get my attention to let him in. I mean it, those pebbles were BOULDERS. Anyway, when the door came crashing down, I cussed so much to send me to hell. But I let him in anyway. So up until now… which was about… I dunno… 5 years ago? Since that happened." Kakuzu finished. Hinata raised her hand. "But how does Hidan's mother love an ani-" Deidara covered her mouth. "N-nothing! Ok? Hidan, you can live here! Sure! Ok! No more past life stories! And no more questions." He said, unpacking Hidan's stuff.

"Hidan! Good news!" Kakuzu said after a while. "Huh…?" Hidan responded groggily. "The dare's off! You can hug Hinata-san again." Hidan's face lit up and immediately hugged Hinata. "But you have to give me $500. NOW." Kakuzu added, holding out a hand. "Damn…" Hidan cursed. "uh… come on! $500? I'm your half brother!" Hidan reasoned. "Yeah, the original price was $1000. $500 is half." Kakuzu said. "ugh… You know I don't have money!" Hidan yelled. "Fine, give me your heart. I'm gonna eat it." Kakuzu said. "No! Eat Kisame's heart!" Hidan said, hugging Hinata tighter in fear. "Ew, no! Fish hearts in general give me gas!" Kakuzu stated. "…Did not need to know that…" Deidara said.


...Hiashi! Haha, you thought it was Hinata at the door huh? Actually… that would've been nice…

"Who're you!? Get off our lawn!" he yelled, grabbing a random broom and swishing it every which way. The Akatsukis ran out of the way, to the back yard.

"Ok! Now that they're gone, I can enjoy the sun in my back yard!" Hiashi said happily.

AT THE BACK YARD

"YOU AGAIN!? GET OUT!!" Hiashi yelled, taking the same broom and actually hit someone. Poor Hidan…

Itachi and Deidara, however, made their way to Hinata's bedroom window… when she was changing…

………… well shit.

Deidara and Itachi fell out of the tree, right in front of Hiashi and his broom of death. "Oh god! He got Hidan!" Deidara exclaimed. "AND YOU'RE NEXT!!' Hiashi yelled, swinging the broom in his direction. "AAAHHH!! ABANDON MISSION!! LEAVE HIDAN!! RUN!!" Itachi ordered. They scrambled to their feet and ran out of Hiashi's sight… and into Hinata's room….

While she was still changing. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS AND A SHIRT!? Oh well…

Deidara and Itachi had huge nosebleeds, sending them through the roof… and back down into Hiashi's study. Where he happened to be.

"WHAT DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT GO AWAY!?" Hiashi yelled, taking his best friend broom and whacking Itachi with it. "AAAAAAHHHH!!" Deidara spotted Hidan's head hung over a fireplace as a trophy.

"Hey… get me down!" He whispered. Deidara forgot that Hidan was immortal. Deidara made a move to get Hidan off the wall. He thanked god that Hiashi was busy beating the crap out of Itachi with his broom. Deidara pulled at the head. It wouldn't budge. "Is your whole body behind this wall?" Deidara asked. Hidan nodded. "We'll have to break down the wall." Deidara said, taking a nearby ax. He took a swing at the wall and it instantly broke. "Cool!" Deidara laughed. Hidan stepped down from the stool and… well basically he ran like hell. Itachi finally had a little sense knocked into him and used some cool jutsu to escape with his competitors.

They ran back to Hinata's room, who finally had some clothes on. She was reading a book peacefully, when Hidan, Deidara, and Itachi came bursting through the door. She screamed. "Shhh! You're dad will kill us with his evil broom!" Deidara hushed, looking out into the hallway. She quieted down.

Hidan glomped her. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!" He gushed. "Uh… H-hidan-san!?" She squeaked. "YOU REMEMBER!! OH MY GOD!!" He yelled. "Hidan!! Shut up!! I hear him coming!" Deidara whispered. "QUICK HIDE IN THE CLOSET!!" Itachi instructed. Hidan had taken her with him. When they opened the door, they found themselves in a huge room with clothes hanging on the walls. There was a T.V in there too! What the hell!?

"Hinata…?" Itachi asked. "This is neji's room." Hinata said, answering his silent question. "But… it's…" Itachi started. "…pink." Hidan finished. He was carrying Hinata bridal style. "…I know." She said. "Ook… going back." Deidara turned around… to see Hiashi holding his broom, glaring at them. "Going back in!" They said, closing the door behind him.

Neji came in Hinata's room. "Uncle? What're you doing in me and Hinata's room?" He asked. "You share your room with your cousin?" Deidara asked. "Heck yes! No way am I letting him keep all that good stuff! The T.V, play station, everything is shared among Hanabi, Neji, and me." She explained. "That's… awesome." Deidara admitted.

"Neji, open that door." Hiashi ordered. Neji obeyed. He opened the door slowly to find that…

"Hey! No fair! You cheated!" Deidara yelled. They were playing video games on the PS2, ignoring Neji and Hiashi. Hinata noticed though. She tapped Deidara's shoulder. "Wha… oh… snap." He said. Hiashi was holding his broom like a sword.

"L-let me explain!" Hinata said. "10 seconds. Then I smash them to bits." Hiashi said.

"They're my childhood friends! Don't kill them!" She pleaded. "Move aside." He ordered. Hinata obeyed. "H-Hina-chan!?" Hidan asked. "Um… let's just say that I'll visit you every day in the hospital… or your grave! Whichever he chooses!" Hinata said, smiling worriedly.

SHE'S SAVING HERSELF!! We've taught her well… The three thought.

Hiashi was about to slash away at them when Hinata's defensive side for her friends kicked in. FINALLY!!

"S-stop! Please!" Hinata pleaded. Hiashi turned around. "Th-they're my childhood friends!" She said. In Hiashi's head, he imagined Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino. They looked NOTHING like them. "My other ones!" Hinata added. "Ooohhh…. I care why?" Hiashi asked. "BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FATHER!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE!!" She lashed out.

Neji inched closer to the confused Akatsukis. "Over the years she's acquired an inner self… who lashes out from time to time." Neji explained. Suddenly, they were afraid of Hinata. Very, very, afraid.


My sister requested some dramatic parts so… Hidan's past was it. Yes, Hidan and Kakuzu are half brothers, and yes, Hinata remembers the Akatsukis, and yes she'll end up with – like hell I'll tell you!

Ok, am I forgetting anything? Good.