A few weeks later...

I've never felt so sad in my life. It just came all of a sudden, all at once. A few days after Delilah was born, I started feeling not as energetic as I was before and I never felt hungry. I just stayed in my room until Mom came home. And just started thinking about all the bad things that would happen. To me, to Mom, to Dad, to Delilah, and all of the bad stuff that happened in my life and I basically started sobbing out of the blue.

That's when Mom tried opening the door, but it was locked, and I couldn't open it and she had to pick it open. She just kind of held me as all of my sadness poured out in stammers and tears.

But the bucket kept refilling. I was even thinking about how Mom and Dad would react if I died.

I've started becoming depressed. That's what my doctor said when Mom became so worried she sent me to her. She gave Mom a bit of advice and she sent us our way.

Just after giving me a therapist. I was supposed to see her every Tuesday. I objected completely.

"Honey, you need the help." said Mom, when we came home after a silent car ride and we started fighting on the stairs.

"No, I don't!" I screamed back at her. When my mom and I fought, we fought hard. And I totally regretted the next sentence I would say. "Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed if you and Dad didn't get divorced! Or if you had a normal job!"

Mom looked stricken. But I kept going. I couldn't stop. "And I hate lying to my friends about your whereabouts. And I HATE the fact that YOU LIE TO ME!"

Mom fired back. "If I didn't have that job, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now!"

"So a depressed daughter and a small house, and no husband is happy!" I asked. I was crying now. Why was I so messed up?

"If I didn't get that job, I wouldn't have a son and daughter. I wouldn't have been so in love even if it did end. I had memories, I'd be alone and not happy! I love you even when you're sad." she said, her voice on the verge of cracking.

"Then why can't you tell me why you broke up with Dad!?" I screamed at her.

The phone interrupted us before anyone could say anything else. She answered the phone. I slammed my door, but opened it and listened on the stairs. She probably put the phone on speaker.

"Hey, Sam." she said.

"Kens, you okay? You seem a little stressed." said Sam. He was always like that after Mom and Dad divorced. He was basically like Mom's big brother. He and Callen were.

"Yeah. Andy's been diagnosed with some sort of depression." she said. "And I'm honestly even scared to even leave her alone." She paused a bit" Why did you call again?"

"Oh yeah, Kamran is back in town in case Andy wants to see her." said Sam. Kamran is Sam's daughter and she's been away at college for 2 years at Harvard. We can relate, being the daughters of federal agents. She's given me tons of advice, and she's so approachable. But I didn't want anyone talking to me about it.

"I'll ask her." she said, and I heard her coming up the stairs.

"No thanks." I said, softly.

"Do you at least want to see Sam or Callen? Hetty?" she asked. "Because I have to go to work soon. And I don't want you here alone."

I didn't do anything. "Sam, I'll call you back."

'Alright." he said and hung up. Mom pulled me into a hug. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

I was defiantly ready! Mom sat down on the beige rug that extended down the stairs. I scooched down next to her. She took my hand into hers.

"Well, it all started on a case. We had a suspect and she was very valuable but wouldn't budge until she 'saw someone she liked." I saw how painful it was for her, but she kept going. "And then your father went in and kissed her. I knew it was for the case, but it still stung that he would do that without even looking at me. And she kissed him back hard, and when he came out, I yelled at him and we just had a rough case."

"That's it?" I asked. I mean, my parents would've seemed like the loyal types.

"No. Then, a few weeks later, your father got contacted by the LAPD and was asked if he could participate in a joint investigation. He said yes. And I knew how hurt he was by it, but something about him was different after that kiss. He then left... for three months. Without contact, without anything. And left me alone with you two."

I totally forgot about that! I knew he had been gone for some time, but not for that long! "And?"

Her eyes were teary. "Then, when he came back, he was moody and just angry. I knew something happened that really hurt him but not even Hetty knew what happened. Next thing, we started fighting a lot and we just ended it. He just didn't want my help, even though I tried to be there for him."

"And you didn't talk about it?" I asked.

She laughed a sad laugh, then wiped some stray tears. "We never had the best communication skills. Not even since the day we met." I was just kind of silent.

"You have your first appointment at six, and I'll call Mark and see if he can come over." she smiled, standing up. "And we can go out to dinner or something like that after."

The sky was getting a little darker when Mom and I went to my new therapist. Her name was Autumn Summers and she wasn't the stereotypical therapist that had you lie down and ask you how you felt. She had me fill out a survey about myself, and when I said I liked lacrosse she said that she also played lacrosse and was on the 2025 national team.

"So, I know what it's like." she said, sagging back into her big leather chair.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Having your parents divorce, having them hate each other, and having to pretend like everything was okay." she said, pulling back a few wisps of her auburn hair.

"I don't pretend like everything's okay. I mean, look at me." I said, crossing my arms.

"You seem like that type, though. I'm guessing you're just stressed out a lot. Which isn't good." said Autumn. "My mom was a yoga teacher and she was pretty zen. I mean, my name Autumn Summers, for god's sake!" she laughed. "But she taught me to get all the anger out in a peaceful way over a longer time, or quickly over a short period of time."

I told her about all of my stressors. School, friends, Delilah, parents being divorced, Mom having a boyfriend, Dad being married, etc. She nodded and wrote that all down.

We then talked about our favorite TV shows, (and we both really loved Castle, an old show from when my parents were young.) She'd jot down the occasional note and we'd continue talking.

"Alright, Andy. I'll see you next week." she said, hugging me a bit as we stood up. We went back to the waiting room, where it was just Mom, since I was her last appointment of the day. "And you have my number if you need me."

Autumn went over to Mom while I waited at the door. They both though I couldn't hear them.

"She's depressed because of everything. Everything hard in her life is hitting her all at once and she'll shut down if it keeps going. I'd say, as less stress as possible. Relaxed home environment, no big arguments and I'd avoid bringing your boyfriend in when she's around." said Autumn.

"She doesn't like him?" asked Mom. "I thought they got along."

"That's probably the Andy she shows to everybody. Like a wall, so that no one who isn't close to her can see in her. She doesn't like him. She still ships you and your ex." said Autumn. Mom nodded. She thanked her and we left.

"Babe, I thought you were okay with him." said Mom as she stopped us at our car. "If you didn't like him, I didn't have to date him."

"But you looked happy with him." I said, looking at her. "And I don't want you to be dating anyone else. Except you know who..."

Mom hugged me. "Hon, even if I would, I couldn't. He loves someone else now, baby. And I can't break that apart. That's only if he wants me back, which he probably doesn't." She unlocked the car door. "And I'll break up with Mark tomorrow or next weekend."

"No, Mom. Just don't bring him home when I'm home." I said. Why would I make my mom sad and lonely because of something I wanted.

"But honey, if we get closer, what happens? We get married, he moves in for life? And you just play along with it? No thank you. No man is as important as my kids' happiness." she said, getting behind the wheel.

"Not even Dad?" I whispered.

"What?" she asked, turning her head.

"Nothing." I said. "Nothing, Mom."

We will look into Deeks' side of the divorce in a few chapters. Let's say that Deeks meets someone he hasn't seen in a while, and someone he hates most. ;) Delilah will be in the next few chapters a lot and there will be an unexpected visitor at the Blye residence! O.O