A Day in the Life

October 24th

Everything on my laptop - and I mean everything - is now password protected. Courtesy of Amachi, I have installed Advanced Hide Folders software, which means that no one but myself will be able to access any files and folders I have made hidden. The boss maintained that he never read anything else, but Juugo e-mailed everyone (that is the usual suspects: Suigetsu, Karin, Gen'yumaru and Amachi) to inform us that Orochimaru had just donated a rather large sum of money to The Konoha Straight-Edge Club, and was asking if we knew what it was all about because it was rather out of character. Of course, I feigned ignorance. When I asked Orochimaru about it he told me a whopper, saying that he simply found Gai's cause a worthy one, and that I shouldn't be so suspicious all the time.

I wanted to counter with the observation that, perhaps, I was quite within my rights to be suspicious, seeing as he had clearly read my damn journal without my permission - but I didn't, not wishing to stoop to the boss's level. Instead, I took to shredding with a little more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary. It's therapeutic, I swear.

Gai, Kabuto and Lee are still working on the case. My trial is scheduled for November 23rd. I have a meeting with them later on tonight.

October 25th

The meeting went strangely well, though what happened after - not so much.

Kabuto had managed to get a hold of my medical records from Konoha and said that I had the perfect excuse for my rather spectacular actions on the flight back to Otogakure. He had also contacted the hotel and found the records of the Pay Per View movie purchase. Gai had been working on getting a hold of willing witnesses. So far I have Itachi, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Suigetsu, Karin, Gen'yumaru and Amachi. He's still working on Juugo.

Kabuto was being suspiciously civil. He actually wished me luck for the case before willingly leaving me alone with the boss after the meeting ended. In fact, come to think of it, he hasn't been actively participating in his one-man campaign of jealous hatred against me ever since the story got out a few days ago.

Either the boss has had words with him, or he's up to something. As I am a suspicious sort, I'm inclined to believe the latter. Besides, Orochimaru's raging libido would not allow him to irritate his back up. He's building up to something, I can feel it...

Anyway, after my legal monkeys left, Orochimaru pounced once again and he dragged me up to his bedroom. Everything was fine until I spotted a picture of the boss with another guy I didn't know in a frame next to his bed. I decided to interrogate him about this. He attempted to fob me off by giving me a thorough kissing, but I was adamant. I was not to be deterred by any kissing, no matter how technically proficient. He sighed irritatedly and said, "Does it matter, Sasuke-kun?" I said, "Yes."

Eventually, he caved under my constant pestering (I should be head of sales; my negotiating skills are second-to-none) and told me it was Kimimaro.

I had another look at the picture. Kimimaro looked a bit older than me, but not by much. He had long, silvery hair and big blue eyes, and he was smiling at the boss in a way that left me, in no doubt, about how he felt about him. Inside, I sneered. He had the mayu mark on his forehead, so he is obviously a coddled, upper-class twit. My mental sneer became even more pronounced. I also noticed that he was wearing a rather strange-looking obi, if you could call it an obi. It was a huge, lilac rope and it was tied in an upside down bow. It looked really quite odd, and I permitted myself a small snigger at it. Orochimaru heard me and asked what I was laughing at. I said that I thought Kimimaro wasn't a very good dresser and the boss went off on one - and kicked me out of bed!

How. Dare. He?! Him and his stupid Kimimaro. If he likes him so much, then why did the guy leave, huh? Answer me that! AND he read my journal, the place where I jot down my deepest, darkest, most intensely personal secrets.

Needless to say, my Uchiha pride refused to let me tolerate further insult. On the way back to my apartment, I took a detour to the office. Equipped with a trusty marker-pen, I found the Staff Photos on display in reception and unlocked the glass case. I wrote "SHAGGER" on Orochimaru's forehead, then closed the case and went home.

Ha! That'll teach him

I am so furious right now...

LATER: Oh my god. What the hell have I done? What the HELL have I DONE?

October 26th

I called in sick today. I am a coward and I am unable to face the consequences of my ill-thought-out actions. I've spent the whole day hiding in my bedroom watching TV. There's no way Orochimaru won't have found out about my spontaneous bout of malicious vandalism.

Even worse, it's the boss's birthday tomorrow...

Well, he's not going to want anything to do with me now, is he? I'll be packing and back in Konoha before the day is out. Though why would they want me? Clearly, trouble is attracted to me like tornadoes to trailer parks.

October 27th

I got a call from the office today. Apparently, Orochimaru wants to see me. This could be for one of two reasons:

1) The SHAGGER incident, and he's called me in to fire me

or;

2) The fact that I've handed in my notice, thus pre-empting any firing.

Yes, I am quitting. This means that at least I'll have more of a chance at getting a job elsewhere than if I were to be unceremoniously dismissed due to unprofessional conduct. I thought about it long and hard last night, and I decided that it would be for the best. Returning to Konoha-Suna Corp. seems likely - at least for now - but maybe the Akatsuki Group will take pity on me and hire me. Deidara and Kisame both like me, and Itachi is my brother (though I wouldn't count on him to cut me any slack). I have contacts.

But then, so does Orochimaru...

I e-mailed the boss this morning to inform him that I was resigning my position at Otogakure enterprises with immediate effect. I thanked him for everything he had done for me and I wished both him and the company well for the future. A cab has been booked to take me to Otogakure airport, as the company car no longer belongs to me. The cab is due in fifteen minutes. I booked the flight online last night. There's no way in hell I'm going to be able to part with the laptop, so I intend to send a cheque footing the bill when everything's died down. I e-mailed Naruto last night to ask if I could stay with him for a while (I haven't told him why yet) and he said that I could stay as long as I like.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Naruto? I think I have, perhaps once, but I really should say it more often.

What's making this whole mess so much worse though, is that I still have that court case to get through. If Konoha-Suna rehire me, then maybe I'll still be able to have Gai and Lee working for me. I don't think Kabuto will be an option any longer. When old Shitface finds out I'm gone, he'll be jumping for joy and back in the PR job. He won't give a toss about whether I get sued or not.

Oh...

Must cut this short. The cab has arrived. Will write when I get to Konoha.

LATER: I have arrived at Naruto's safe and sound, and I'm using the wireless hotspot in the communal computer suite downstairs from his apartment. Tsunade is sitting next to me playing a versus Tetris game with Jiraiya on her DS.

I feel like a fraud. I've been telling everyone that I've just taken some time off and that I've come to visit for a few weeks. When they find out what's really happened, though...

No. I don't want to think about that. I'll have to concentrate on mustering up the courage to ask for my old job back. Ugh. How incredibly embarrassing. I really feel like curling up into a ball and dying right now.

Oh god... What is Itachi going to say?

I feel sick.

LATER: Turns out that Naruto has wireless in his new apartment. Why he didn't tell me this is beyond me. There might have been a chance for me to be a little more secretive about being here, but now that I've been down in the computer suite, everyone and their goddamn gran knows! I told Naruto and Sakura about what happened at Otogakure when Sakura came round to the apartment with pizza, and they made me tea and gave me a hug. I almost cried.

This is possibly the worst week of my life. Ever.

October 28th

I accidentally checked my e-mails this morning. It's a bad habit that I really should try and get out of, especially now, when I have resolutely decided that I do not want to be found by anyone from Otogakure Enterprises.

I had one from Suigetsu asking me if I was okay (he still thinks I'm sick), one from Karin (along the same lines), one spam e-mail informing me that I could increase the girth of my penis up to 50, and five from Orochimaru. I opened the first one from the boss because I couldn't help myself, and then, out of curiosity, I had a look at the rest. I seem to have a knack for opening the door into my life and saying, "Why, hello, problems! Do come in and make yourself at home. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, and if you want to shower, the towels are in the airing cupboard under the stairs!"

I could shoot myself, sometimes, I really could...

The e-mails from the boss said:

----

From: "Orochimaru"

Subject: no subject

I will not accept your resignation, Sasuke-kun. If I have to go to court over this, then so be it. If I have to fight tooth-and-nail to keep you here, then I will. You will not leave my employment until I say so.

I expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning.

Orochimaru.

----

Note that it is no longer "Oro, x". He must be mad with me...

----

From: "Orochimaru"

Subject: You know very well...

Sasuke-kun,

Why aren't you here? You know I will not tolerate such insubordination. I am losing my patience with you.

Five minutes. No longer.

Orochimaru.

----

----

From: "Orochimaru"

Subject: This is your last chance...

I will not play games with you, Sasuke. You will do as I say, or I will take disciplinary action.

Orochimaru.

----

From: "Orochimaru"

Subject: Where are you?

Sasuke-kun, if you have left the compound without informing me and requesting my permission, I shall be less than pleased with you. You are still legally under my employment and such action would constitute a breach of contract.

Orochimaru.

----

----

From: "Orochimaru"

Subject: no subject

I have recovered the details of your flight. I also know when you phoned the cab. You are staying at the house of Uzumaki Naruto, and if you're thinking of trying to get your old job back, then you will be in for a rude awakening. I have still not accepted your resignation, and if Konoha-Suna Corp. have re-hired you, I will take legal action, you may be sure of that.

If I have to drag you back to Otogakure by the hair myself, Sasuke-kun, then so be it.

Orochimaru.

----

I was just about to allow myself a small freak-out over the ominous, concluding line of Orochimaru's last e-mail when someone started hammering on the door of Naruto's apartment.

Now, I knew that terrifying sound. It was the sound of an irate Orochimaru. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard him shouting, "Sasuke! Sasuke-kun, open this fucking door right now!"

Needless to say, a small freak-out was no longer an option and I succumbed to a much larger one in which I sank to my knees and rocked back and forth gently while making sad, worried noises. Naruto must have heard all the banging and shouting in the shower because he came out wearing only a towel and a perplexed expression. He peered through the peephole and then went pale as he realised what was going on.

He said to me, "Holy shit, dude, that's your boss! And— oh jeez, it's the fuzz! Climb out the fire-escape! Go on, now, before they break the damn door down!"

Up until then, I had been lying on Naruto's sofa feeling sorry for myself, so I only had on a pair of black boxers. Naruto, of course, was dripping wet and towel-clad. As Dame Fortune has so far seen it fit to turn my life into a tragedy, it seems she has decided that a little farce wouldn't go amiss. Thus it was that Naruto and I ended up thundering down the fire escape in desperation and streaking down the street. A cacophony of outraged cries and raucous wolf-whistles followed us as we elbowed our way through the market. Naruto was grinning like a man possessed and clearly thought the whole situation quite hilarious. I, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow me.

This is not only the worst week of my life. It is also my most embarrassing. Can things get any worse? I seriously, seriously doubt it...

We streaked towards Jiraiya's at Naruto's suggestion. That is where I am now. I'm writing an e-mail and sending it to myself so my journal will be up to date. I don't think I'll be able to stomach having to think about this ordeal again, so I might as well get it over with.

Jiraiya roared with laughter when we first arrived, naked, at the door, and he made all the prerequisite thanks-but-no-thanks jokes. Then when he asked why we had turned up at his door in the buff, he was perplexed, and then concerned as Naruto told him we were hiding from Orochimaru. Jiraiya told us to come in and fixed us a cup of tea. While I was sat down in front of his fire in a big, comfortable chair, he asked me what was going on, and within fifteen minutes had managed to get the whole thing out of me - every last sordid drop.

Apparently, he knew something was going on, because Orochimaru had phoned him this morning asking if Jiraiya had seen me because something had come up at work that he needed to talk to me about. Unaware of the situation (because I had told him about ten minutes before that everything was fine and that I had merely taken time off) Jiraiya told him that I was staying at Naruto's and that he'd deliver the message to me later. Naturally, Jiraiya didn't think that it was at all odd that Orochimaru couldn't ask me himself via phone or e-mail. If all the lights were on, he would've realised that and wouldn't have given everything away!

Stupid git...

As we were talking, Jiraiya reminded me that Orochimaru was still my boss and advised that I sort this out sooner rather than later, because if it the situation escalates any further... He sort of trailed off at that point, leaving the unspoken implication hanging in the air like a malevolent fog. It was very dramatic, but it worked because we both knew just how ugly Orochimaru can get when he's riled. I offered to give myself up, as it were, and Jiraiya picked up the phone and called the boss to let him know where I was.

He's coming over in ten minutes.

If he wasn't going to fire me before, I'm sure he's changed his mind by now.

I am doomed.

I wonder if Jiraiya's looking for any temps?


Oh, Sasuke! He's a poor, little soul, isn't he? Hee hee.

It seems that I have even more people to thank this time around for nice reviews. I seem to have regulars, which is just brilliant, you have no idea. It makes me smile. - Those on the reviewers' honour roll are: Riana1, Keimei, danni quinn, ArilianaFireQueen, Simple-Minded Idiot, krisis81 and Niver. Thanks so much, guys. They're all really appreciated.

Thanks also go out to fiore777, who has written some cracking essays over on the NarutoFan forums. I got the information on the mayu mark from her essay on Kimimaro. There's also a brilliant one on Orochimaru. Go check them out!

Hope you liked this chapter.

Take care:-)