"Moth: 'I gave you my life.'

Flame: 'I allowed you to kiss me.'" –Hazrat Inayat Khan


Chapter 7 – Falling to Pieces


Without even trying to stay hidden, Karai walked right through the front doors of the skyscraper that served as home and base for some of the more legitimate operations of the Foot Clan. Boots squeaking on the marble tiles, Karai marched past the curved reception desk with a glare at the blonde behind it, who quickly looked away and made to shuffle a stack of paper. The ornate clock above the desk told her it was twenty after three in the morning. She punched the elevator button and once inside held her shaking arms hard against her sides. Her head spun and the elevator motion made her feel dizzy and nauseous. Really not wanting to puke in the confined space of the elevator, Karai focused on breathing slowing in through her nose and out through her mouth.

Staring at the buttons lighting up on the panel, her mind mulled over what she saw. So, her father knew she snuck out. That he was suspicious of her was no surprise. That he was so interested in what she'd been up to was unsettling. What would he do to her if he found out about her near-obsession with Leonardo? The image of the elite guard's body swam in her mind. The black pool of blood; the look in the red one's eyes. He thought she set a trap for Leonardo. Now that's something her father would be overjoyed to learn. It would be so easy. She shivered and pushed the thought away. Her head throbbed. She rested it against the wall; closed her eyes. No more thinking.

The elevator dinged and Karai stepped out into the hallway where her quarters lay. She glanced down the carpeted hallway that formed an 'L' shape. The leg ended with her father's personal suite. Her room was at the other end of the long part of the hallway. Stillness; no sign of anyone. She walked unsteadily to her door, one hand trailed along the wall for support; pressed the code into the lock box and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

She needed a shower; needed to get out of the wet clothes. She kicked off her boots. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and started. She could still taste him on her lips. Beneath the metal flavor of the city rain, there it was. That soft, strangely spring-like taste. It made her think of budding flowers and the baby-tender blades of grass emerging out of the damp soil. The tips of her fingers brushed her bottom lip and she moved to her bed. She pulled off her wet clothes and burrowed beneath the blankets for warmth, feeling the ghost of his mouth lingering on her lips.

A smirk danced across her mouth as she recalled the soft whimper he made and how his arms started to trembled while she explored him. His body was strange and unlike anything she'd ever known. Soft and hard in places. A thrill went through her and though a warmth spread through her middle, she shivered; wrapped the blankets tighter around her body in a cocoon. She thought of his eyes and how intense they were tonight. He wanted her. She frowned. Why'd he have to be so damn . . . good?

Her mind wandered and she thought about his body and curiosity sparked as she wondered how it worked when it came to that; then considered if he hadn't made her stop, would she have really gone any further with him? A confused mix of conflicting emotions swept through her. She closed her eyes; feeling her body grow heavy, sinking into the soft embrace of her mattress. Unbidden, the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, gentle and protective yet trembling with desire, came over her. She smiled as she drifted between a dream and a memory from another time.


When Raphael came to, he found himself propped up against a blackened wall inside the ruined church. He gazed around and felt a sharp pain in his side which radiated upwards to his collarbone and chest. He grabbed at the source of the pain and found a thick bandage under his right arm. He sucked in his breath as the movement sent a separate bolt of pain through his left shoulder. Damn, I'm torn up. Then he remembered the fight with the soldier and his face snapped up.

Leonardo silently emerged from the shadows with a water bottle. With his right hand, Raphael snatched it away from him; glared at him as he drank it until nearly empty. He dropped his hand with the bottle into his lap as Leonardo crouched next to him; a wary and nervous expression on his face, elbows resting on his knees, he dropped his head down and stared forward at the floor in front of him. At least he looks a little guilty, Raphael thought. Which isn't exactly new for his older brother.

"What the fuck, bro," Raph said softly.

He wanted an explanation. He wanted an apology. Most of all he wanted to beat some sense back into his brother's skull.

Leonardo ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. He looked sideways at his brother. This night was one the worst nights of his life. His heart pounded; his stomach churned and his head felt like someone was trying to squeeze it like a toothpaste tube. The last words Karai spat at him ran in an endless loop in his mind. Each repetition cutting him a bit more, a bit deeper. He just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and forget that he'd ever gone out in the first place. But now that Raphael had gotten himself involved…he huffed out a frustrated breath…that complicated matters. Just what he needed: more complications. He couldn't help but feel his hurt and anger from Karai's cruel words funnel out towards his brother.

"Raph, why didn't you just go home, like I told you to? What were you doing following me?"

Raphael shook his head at the accusing tone Leonardo's voice took on. Is he kiddin' me? I take a beatin' for him and he's gonna yell at me? A grim smile spread across his face which didn't meet his dark eyes.

"Let's see, what was I doin'." Raphael stared at Leonardo who shifted uncomfortably under the glare, but held his eyes firmly locked on his, "Well, I know I wasn't screwin' around with one of Shredder's bitches."

"Don't," Leonardo's voice held a warning, his eyes darkening. He was not in the mood for one of Raphael's hissy fits.

Raphael turned his face away and huffed out a short, bitter chuckle.

"What was I doin'? How about, I dunno, maybe savin' your ass!"

He sat forward and lobbed the water bottle at Leonardo's head. He grimaced as a streak of pain shot through his chest, but it was worth it. The empty bottle struck Leonardo's arm as he brought it up to shield his head and it bounced to the floor. Raphael climbed to his feet, Leonardo watched him and slowly came to stand.

"While you were in here…" he gestured sloppily at the walls, then held his aching shoulder, "…doin', I don't even want to know, with Karai, I was outside fightin' off an ambush meant for your sorry ass!"

Leonardo ran a hand over the back of his neck. He knew. Too late, but he knew. He saw the body. After Raphael had passed out, he'd run to do a perimeter check and with a sinking stomach saw what remained of the soldier. He'd dragged the body to the back of the church where a scruff of overgrown grass and bushes intermingled with piles of garbage, empty crates and rusting cars. Beyond that were mostly abandoned apartment buildings. He dumped the body there and sprinted back inside to tend to his brother's wounds.

Leonardo stared at his brother, he didn't know what to say. He wanted to thank him; should have said it right away, but between his shame at being caught with Karai and the humiliation that he was clueless to the fact that not only his brother but an elite Foot soldier was stalking him, the words caught in his throat. Raphael shook his head in disgust at his silence. He should have known he was being followed. Should have been much more careful. How could he have been so careless? He clenched his jaw. Frustration tore at his stomach making his pounding head only hurt more.

If he hadn't been so distracted…Karai being drunk and acting so weird; the rain and then when she put her head on his chest, asked him to take her somewhere safe . . . he let out a trembling breath. He couldn't believe that this was some kind of planned ambush. His mind raced back over the events of the night. No, he was convinced that Karai had nothing to do with the soldier being there. Doubt nagged at his confidence.

Then who sent him? Maybe he was just a scout, a voice reasoned in his head. He was an elite. Leonardo held his face in his hand; pushed his fingers and thumb hard into his brow. The headache was quickly turning into a migraine. The muscles behind his eyes throbbed without mercy.

Raphael had enough of this silent treatment.

"What were you thinkin' bringin' her here?" Raphael's voice was low and growling. The anger and fatigue were mixing together forming a dangerous cocktail within him.

Leonardo dropped his hand to his side and stared at him, then eyed the floor and muttered, "It doesn't matter."

Raphael blinked hard and frowned.

"It doesn't matter?" he echoed. "Uh, yes, Leo, it does fuckin' matter." He stepped closer to Leonardo, getting into his face. "This is supposed to be for us, remember? You pounded it into our skulls enough times. To keep it secret." His voice hissed out the last word.

He took half a step back, considered his brother and said, "Huh, I guess I didn't realize you wanted this place secret so bad so you could bring your little-"

"Enough," Leonardo said with a growl, cutting him off. Leonardo narrowed his eyes; his body rigid. He felt his heart hammering; the blood rushing to his face.

Raphael ignored him and continued, "ninja slut here to fu-"

Before Raphael could finish Leonardo shoved him hard. He stumbled backwards. His heels painfully banging against the wall as his shell slammed into it. The force sent a wave of sharp pain across his chest; his left shoulder burned like it was on fire. He bit back a yelp of pain, grinding his teeth together to keep still. His head spun for a moment. He blinked; stunned for a heartbeat, two; his fury rose as did his disbelief.

"You gonna shove me?"

Raphael's voice rose with indignation and hurt. Some thanks he got for getting skewered. Leonardo heard the hurt in his brother's voice and instantly felt guilty for losing his temper. He didn't think, he just reacted when Raphael called Karai such an ugly name. He reached out to Raphael in a placating gesture.

"Look, It . . . it's been a long night," he started.

"Yeah, I'm sure it has been," Raphael replied, a hollow laugh in his throat.

Leonardo ignored him, determined to make it right, but feeling his anger rising again in his chest.

"I didn't mean to . . . overreact," he said feebly. He looked up, blue eyes met green. The words fell from his mouth before he could think, before he could adjust the tone, "Just don't talk that way about her again."

"What?!"

With a growl Raphael lunged at Leonardo. Raphael's right forearm slammed into the side of his face. His left fist came around fast and struck Leonardo in the jaw, knocking him back over a pile of broken and charred pews. His shell smashing the boards into splinters as he crashed. Leonardo blinked away the stars exploding in front of his vision and looked up at his brother looming over him, swaying and holding his side awkwardly. He wiped his lip; tasted blood; the cut from Karai split deeper and wider now. He felt his lip swelling and throbbing.

"What is wrong with you, Leo?" Raphael swayed on his feet, but righted himself. His voice came out thick with emotion. "She worth all this?"

He indicated his wounds with hands that trembled with fury and emotion, the red seeping through the thick bandage; shaking his head in disgust, his mouth in a thin line. How could this be happening? Leonardo was choosing some chick over his own family; something Raphael would've never dreamt of even being possible. He seemed to want to say more; his jaw clenched, unclenched; but instead waved a hand at Leonardo in a dismissive gesture.

Leonardo could only stare miserably up at Raphael. Shame crept over his heart. He closed his eyes with a breath. He rolled to one side and climbed to stand. His arms hung limply at his sides.

"Tell ya what," Raphael's voice sounded strained, "next time you need to get a piece of ass, you can watch your own back."

Raphael turned his shell on Leonardo without a backwards glance and stumbled out of the church. Leonardo followed slowly behind; head held low; mouth throbbing; each step heavier than the last.

Yeah, this was the worst night of his life, he decided.


The dream came vividly and without mercy. Every detail in graphic color, bright and unrelenting.

She watched him in the dojo. Taller than most of the boys at the academy, his blond hair stood out in a sea of dark. He was graceful and quick with long arms and legs, thin and wiry, but in a good way. A master at sixteen of four different weapons. The ninja-ken and katanas being his favorite. Though most girls fawned over him, Karai kept her distance. Yearning for him more truly and desperately than all the others combined; her secret passion and devotion burnt a hole through her.

Then one day, it happened. He sat across from her at dinner. She could only stare stupidly at him. Didn't he know who she was? Who her father was? Of course he did. Everyone did. That's why they cleared a wide path around her in the halls, no one ever volunteered to be her sparring partner in the dojo, no one said more than two words to her, and no one ever, ever sat with her in the dining hall.

Karai moaned and turned in her bed. The dream continued.

He fanned her obsession and longing with his intensely blue eyes seeming to only be for her. His jokes and easy smiles disarming her at every turn; breaking down her precious walls of protection. They talked, they laughed, and Karai dared to hope that she had finally, finally, found someone who wasn't afraid of her father and would actually be her friend. And maybe more.

Marcus Brokker, exchange student from Germany was all Karai could think about. Day after day, night after night, she penciled his name inside a heart only to crush the paper and throw it away in guilty embarrassment for being such a girl about her feelings. But she couldn't help it.

Then they started meeting secretly after lights out. And finally, on the night of her sixteenth birthday, she gave herself a present and consented everything she had to him. And he took it. Greedily he took all she gave.

Karai frowned in her sleep as the memory of his rough groping flooded her dream.

When he was finished he left her shaken and tearful on the dusty floor. Her fury and humiliation grew as he snubbed her the next day. And the next. And on it went. Her fingers twitched as she dreamt of the rectangular shape of the box cutter; the way the door to the boy's dormitory creaked when she slid inside. How soft his blond hair felt between her fingers as she gathered the locks in her fist. The box cutter bit into his flesh and his scream in her dream made her sleeping form tremble. She was tackled to the floor; sent to her father for further humiliation and punishment. Marcus disappeared from the academy. Rumors spread about Karai's father and her peers kept their distance even more than before.

In her sleep, tears trickled down her face, wetting the pillow beneath her head. Karai's fingers twisted the blankets until her fists held them tight. Her dream went back to the night she'd given up everything she had to Marcus, but the setting changed and instead of the red light of the boiler room, she was surrounded by the soft glow of candles.

The air shifted like a sigh and someone was there. Her heart tripped over itself as he leaned down and brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. Blue eyes gazed down at her and they were filled with such tender affection it made her heart stop. Angels watched her from the ceiling, but she felt no judgment nor fear; she felt safe; she felt protected; she felt his devotion and adoration. She reached up to him, pulled him towards her by his strong shoulders. He wrapped his arms gently around her, his mouth kissing her jaw and side of her neck. Strange and wonderful; gentle, ever gentle; as though she were the most precious and delicate of all things in this world and he would never let her break; he would die to keep her whole.

In her bed, in the heart of the New York Foot Clan headquarters, Karai's lips formed a forbidden word; his name flowed out with her trembling breath.

"Leo."


A/N: Sorry this took so long! I had my daughter's birthday and school got in the way as well. Dammit, real life, why you get in the way of my fanfiction so much? Anyho, hope you liked it and everyone is pretty much in character. Reviews are so welcomed and appreciated! xo