Summary:
Liara burns a bridge while Miranda does the same
Reference:
Callbacks to Obligations, as well as earlier chapters of Asunder
During Liara's "breakfast" on Illium…
The service was prompt, and friendly. The best money could buy. Then again, everything on Illium was the best money could buy. So long as you had the money, you could buy almost anything. Cash was power and banks were the closest thing to a government that the planet had.
Barely fifteen minutes after arriving in the hotel restaurant, she was halfway through her meal, and her tea had already been refilled twice.
She'd already resolved to leave an extravagant tip.
"You have not met the terms of our agreement," said the salarian at the next table. "The conditions were explicit. It is unreasonable for you to expect payment." He dropped a datapad in front of his dining companion.
Liara couldn't help but overhear a conversation so close at hand. The dining room was fairly quiet, and most of the other patrons were some distance from her. Paying close attention to her surroundings was a habit that had saved her life more than once. Contrary to what others might believe, she only allowed herself to truly become distracted when she felt safe in her surroundings.
Business class hotel or not, this was Illium. She'd recovered Sarah's remains, but with the ramifications of that event still unknown, she was on edge.
She wasn't trying to eavesdrop, at least not intentionally.
Perhaps it was intentionally.
Shepard had intruded upon many a private conversation in her experience, almost always to positive results. If ever there was a positive example she would want to live up to, it was Shepard.
She could tell herself that.
After all, any diversion was welcome, even the private conversations of others, no matter what rationalization she had to use. Any distraction could be helpful to help her get her mind off of Shepard. The memory of Sarah's broken remains, the sight of which returned every time Liara closed her eyes. The disloyalty she felt, that somehow she'd betrayed the memory of her bondmate by leaving her with Cerberus.
What would Shepard say when she returned? If she returned? What would she think of Liara then? Would she forgive her? Could she forgive her? After what she'd been through, would she even be Shepard?
Did any of these concerns really matter, wrapped as they were in the memory of a dead woman? If she were honest with herself, now that she was beyond the emotion of that moment, what chance was there, really, that Shepard would come back to her at all?
And was it even possible that she could be honest with herself when it came to Shepard?
All she had was the word of a terrorist. One that had almost gotten her killed.
"Your terms were based on a false assumption. That's not my fault. You wanted information that didn't exist. I got you what was actually there," the human pointed forcefully at at the pad. The human was being too explanatory in his response, decided Liara. It was almost like he was trying as hard to convince himself as he was his customer.
"You should be grateful I kept you from going further down a rabbit hole," he continued. Liara wondered what the salarian's translator would make of the human idiom. "I'm saving you time and money. Regardless of what you think, it was my neck that was on the line, and I expect to be paid."
She didn't look up as there man's rant continued, keeping her eyes on her plate as she took another bite of eggs. So much for distracting herself from thoughts of Shepard. Eggs had been a breakfast staple during her time with the commander. On the Normandy, on Mindoir, even at the estate, eggs had become a regular part of her breakfast fare. They were practically guaranteed if Shepard had been the one cooking.
And she had cooked often. Sarah had always been convinced that Liara didn't eat enough. It had been the starting point of their relationship. Liara had disagreed, but she was always willing to eat more to make Shepard happy, for a chance to see a even a glimpse of that impish smile.
Whether it had been the opportunity to watch her cook, the fact that Sarah's cooking was better than the usual fare aboard the Normandy, or just because she would have used any excuse to spend more time to the human's company didn't really matter now.
Liara knew that Omega had exhausted her already meager reserves. It was the memory of Sarah's voice that had prompted her to order so much food.
"You're a combat biotic now Liara," a gently teasing Shepard said in Liara's memory. "Do I need to order you to eat more?" Green eyes sparkled. "Maybe even feed you? Open the hangar door…"
Liara had been horrified, but also hadn't wanted the attention to stop.
The thought of how happy Shepard would have been at Liara eating enough without being asked filled her with the momentary gratification of remembered praise. For someone who had spent so much of her life uncaring of the opinions of others, it was surprising how quickly Shepard's approval had become important to her.
It had become more important than anything else, really.
They'd each created roles for themselves in each other's lives. Shepard offering acceptance, care, and comfort. Liara offering… herself, and a welcoming family the likes of which Sarah might never have been part of again.
Liara sighed as she looked down at the remains of her breakfast with a judgmental eye. Fortunately she'd barely tasted it. The eggs were bland, at best. Nothing like the lightly seasoned buttery goodness that Sarah coaxed from the Normandy's mess. Goddess, the woman's talents had been wasted on the battlefield.
She resolved to finish it anyway. It's what Sarah would have wanted.
"There is no question that the information I seek was in their data cores. All you had to do was locate it." The salarian's tone was unchanged, but Liara could sense his increasing annoyance.
"If you're so sure, then why did you need me? Why didn't you get the data yourself?" The human had the arrogant tone of one who believed they'd won an argument.
Liara shook her head at the exchange. One thing about her time on the Normandy was that it had provided her needed experience in reading the multiple facets of communication with humans.
Fortunate, since negotiation and diplomacy were skills that Benezia had insisted she learn early on. Humans had not been on the galactic scene before she left home, leaving her education in identifying duplicity in other races limited to salarians and turians. It wasn't until she was older that it even occurred to her that asari dissemble as well.
She resumed picking at her oatmeal as the salarian responded.
"As I stated originally, your placement in the Citadel recovery project team, as well as your level of clearance was why you had value to me. Value I now question. Just because you have access to places I do not, does not mean that I am not aware of what can be found there." Still the same tone, Liara noted, but the increased speed of his speech indicated an increased level of impatience.
Salarians rarely spoke of value as it related to individuals. They were a culture of overachievers. She wondered how direct the insult had been in the salarian's native language, even as she worked to suppress a frown at the implications of his statement.
The human must be with the Alliance to have access to Sovereign's remains. Liara had no specific loyalty to the Alliance despite her relationship with Hackett, but she was offended on Sarah's behalf. Shepard would never have let such treachery pass.
She started to pay closer attention. She couldn't activate her omni-tool without alerting the men, but she could attempt to identify clues to the human's identity.
And if she could identify him, well, she was on reasonably good terms with an Alliance admiral.
The human lowered his tone as he motioned the salarian to do the same. "They don't have a weapon. I'm sure of it. Whatever you think is going on is the result of Council fear mongering. The Alliance blew up the big damn ship, and it makes everyone feel better to think that the humans and the turians were able to get something out of the wreckage to keep something like this from happening again. These rumors you're hearing are political, meant to keep people calm. They're not military."
Liara choked in surprise as she shook her head at that. She'd been bombarded with data over the last few weeks before the distraction of the Normandy, but some of Stallura's commodity pricing data suddenly snapped into relevance.
The salarian reacted to the movement, and turned to her. "You have something to add, Miss…?"
"No. Sorry," Liara murmured, her mouth dry. She was horrified at being caught eavesdropping, horror which helped her slip naturally back into the familiar mannerisms of a shy maiden.
The salarian wasn't going to let it go.
"Obviously this man's statement had meaning to you," he waved at the human dismissively. "You've been listening without comment until now." He looked her over, taking in her obvious youth and nondescript clothing. "I don't believe him. Appears you don't either. Tell me why."
The human stepped in at this point. "Look, she's just a kid. Why don't you leave her alone."
The salarian kept his eyes on Liara. "'Kid' over three times your age, and if were to guess, a similar multiple of your intelligence."
The human didn't reply.
"I'll start," began the salarian, making eye contact with Liara. "Name Gorlan, salarian STG. Turians developing weapon based on technology used at Battle of Citadel. Is fact, not supposition. Have seen rudimentary schematics, as well as results of what appears to be live fire test. Turians have been sharing technology with humans," he glanced at his dining companion, "hence interest in friend here." He turned back to Liara. "Our discussion caught your interest. Not surprising. Dining alone, obviously not local, and appear to have something on mind. However, discussion not specific enough to disclose topic unless you have information beyond what discussed."
"I apologize Agent Gorlan," began Liara.
"Pupils constricting, crest tips cooling, insincere pleasantry," commented Gorlan. "Your next statement false." He met Liara's gaze with practiced ease. "Unskilled liar."
She began again. "I am sorry…"
"Lie."
"There is no way that I…"
"Lie."
"I do not…"
"Lie."
The pair stared at each other. Gorlan looked at her with calm composure, but Liara couldn't shake the impression that he was laughing at her nonetheless.
"I appreciate desire to not disclose sensitive information. You do your species proud for someone who is not part of a branch of the asari government." He waited.
Liara remained silent under the salarian's scrutiny.
"No reaction," he nodded. "Truly aren't then. Still, only seek confirmation for information already have. You would not be disclosing state secrets."
The human spoke up again. "She obviously doesn't know anything. All maidens are good for is dancing and sex anyway."
Liara didn't respond to the slight, but the salarian smiled anyway.
"Anger? Unusual. Maiden stereotype not universal, but seldom protested." The salarian kept his attention on Liara. "Not typical maiden."
Liara almost laughed at that, even as she evaluated her options. Finally an appropriate solution came to her.
"I want his name."
"Who? My contact?" The salarian displayed confusion for the first time.
"No," Liara's eyes flicked to the human. "His."
"Ahh. Obvious miss. Not asari government then. Alliance." He nodded. "Acceptable. If I deem your information…"
"No," she interrupted. "You'll know if I'm lying and you already said my information has value. Give me his name, now, or I pay my check and go back to my suite."
"Wait just a…" began the human.
"Eldon. Sherm Eldon."
The human continued to protest as Liara nodded. "The hierarchy has recently been purchasing unusually high quantities of uranium and tungsten, driving up prices in both of those commodities. That in and of itself might not be worthy of note, but the weaponry used at the Battle of the Citadel used a liquid alloy based on those elements, as well as iron, which is far more readily available. Based on their increased commodity purchases, as well as of eezo, which is likely the power source, the turians would appear to have moved beyond preliminary testing of this technology, and into production."
Gorlan nodded. "You specifically say turians. Not humans then?"
Liara shrugged.
"No reaction," he repeated as he nodded. "Humans possibly unaware of turian deception. Interesting. Wonder what distracting them noticing their allies' weapons research."
"AI," Eldon, face in his hands, appeared to have given up on keeping his secrets. "The turians wanted the weapon, we wanted the targeting and guidance. Both sides knew. Both sides kept quiet." His ashen face turned to Gorlan. "You have what you want. Give me my money."
Gorlan stood, ignoring the human as he waved his omni-tool over Liara's wrist. "Payment, for services rendered. Share with Mister Eldon, or not." He leaned down, his next words for Liara alone. "Believe he will need it less, Lady T'Soni, even if you do not share identity with Admiral Hackett."
Her eyes widened. "You know who I am."
"Obviously." He stood up. "Otherwise would not have bribed waiter to have placed next to us." They were alone in their conversation, Eldon having fled the restaurant during their exchange. "Do not worry. Your role here secret." He indicated the security cameras around the room. "Taken care of. Earlier mistakes of Mr. Eldon likely catch up with him before end of day."
"Not my doing!" He said in response to Liara's accusational look. "Too many promises. Less tolerant customer."
"How…?"
"Shepard friend of STG," he bowed slightly. "Sympathies for loss. Brought House T'Soni to STG attention. House T'Soni now in business of keeping secrets. Implications fascinating."
"We're helping prepare for the Reapers."
"Largest secret of all," he agreed as he turned to leave.
.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.
The signal from her cabin door pulled Liara from the memory of her unusual encounter on Illium.
"Come in."
She looked up from her terminal. Liara had been expecting this visit. There were few aboard the Petite'aile who would elect to meet with her in the informality of her own quarters.
And only one who would do so uninvited.
The hatch slid aside, and as expected, it was Denai who stepped into her cabin. The matron took a few steps towards Liara, then stopped, performing lidifemea with a degree of ceremony that Liara hadn't seen from the acolyte in some time.
"Peeress." Denai straightened, formality maintained as she waited for Liara to respond before continuing.
"Denai." A shallow nod of acknowledgement. Interesting. So that was how this was going to be. Liara could play this game as well, even if she hadn't been playing it for nearly as long.
"We've completed the first transit, Peeress. Piraya estimates we will arrive on schedule, if not slightly before." Denai never once looked at Liara, instead focusing her gaze on a point over her head.
"You could have confirmed our ETA over comm, Denai." The acolyte had been obvious in her displeasure since Shepard's release ceremony. Liara may have been avoiding this conversation, but at this point she was out of excuses to continue to postpone it. "That isn't the reason you're here, is it?" Liara pushed Denai to continue.
"No Peeress," replied Denai. "It is not."
Liara sighed as she stood. For as annoyed as Denai seemed to have been with her, this was going more slowly than she'd expected. "And?"
"Peeress?"
"Are you going to tell me what you came here to say?"
"That depends Peeress, on if you are interested in hearing it." Denai shrugged noncommittally, but her tone was firm. "It is entirely up to you."
Liara took a deep breath. Attendant or not, princeps or not, taking such liberty was not acceptable. Benezia would never have allowed for such insolence from one of her acolytes. She would have had Denai removed at the next system, her ties to the House severed.
Shepard, on the other hand, would have strongly approved. It was something to consider.
More than that, this was Denai. Denai who had coaxed her from the depths of her grief when no one else could. If it wasn't for her, Liara might still be in an Alliance hospital.
Denai who deserved better than the treatment she's been receiving from Liara.
So Liara held her tongue, suppressing her initial angry response. When she spoke, her tone was calm and reasonable.
"This has been a great change for us all Denai, for you more than most." She waited for an acknowledging nod before continuing. "You embraced Shepard to a greater degree than anyone else in the family. You helped her feel at home at the estate. Your responsibilities were bound by her wishes and needs. More than that, your role differed in many ways from House tradition, even our societal norms. For all that you have done, I am grateful." She waited again for the words to sink in, trying to be clear that what was to come was meant has a gift, not an insult.
"This means the estate is different for you now. I recognize that, and accept it. With Shepard gone, no one would would think less of you if you chose not to remain with the family. Denai, do you wish to be released from your oath?"
It took Denai a moment to respond, the shock evident in her eyes. "Is this your desire?" She whispered.
Liara attempted to feign nonchalance at the idea of losing another tie to Shepard, even as it troubled her deeply. "The choice is yours. I would release you this day if that is your preference." There. She'd said it.
This conversation was obviously not going in the direction that Denai had expected. "What have I done Peeress, that you think so little of me? That you do not bring me into your confidence? That you believe that I would seek to leave the House during her time of greatest need? Your greatest need? That you believe I care so little for you, for Sarah, for Benezia's memory?"
Liara shook her head. "That is not what I believe."
"Do you not?" Denai left her supplicant stance behind as she began pacing back and forth across the cabin. "You ask if I seek to be freed of any obligation to House T'Soni, when nothing could be further from the truth."
Liara's kept her voice from forming an edge. "Truly the House, Denai, or just Shepard? You served Benezia well, with deference and loyalty, but it is obvious at the last that it was Shepard who held your esteem."
Denai shook her head in response. "I was offered the opportunity to leave when Benezia departed with Saren. My duty to the House was discharged with her death. I stayed. I served. It was not my oath that kept me at the estate."
"And your service was valued and appreciated. Yet I cannot help but wonder, if I had not brought Shepard home, if I had not Named her cari'ssi'mi, is it to me you would have reaffirmed your oath? Would I have your fealty even now?"
The question hung in silence.
"I do not know, Peeress," answered Denai eventually.
"We are speaking candidly, are we not Denai? Is it my youth that makes you hesitate?" Liara had started walking now, circling Denai where she had slowed to a stop. "Is it that you believe I am unfit to lead the family? That I lack the skill to protect my House?" Her voice lowered. "Even worse? Do you see House T'Soni as not mine at all?"
"No, Peeress!" A shout at that, emotion torn from Denai as she refuted Liara's claim. "None of that. I do not question you, your ability, or your legitimacy." She paused to collect herself. "If swearing fealty to you is what you require to be certain of my loyalty, then I will do so."
Liara shook her head. "This is about what you want Denai, but I must hear it from you."
"I would remain with House T'Soni, Peeress." No delay this time.
"Yet you do not ask to swear an oath."
"As I indicated, I am willing to do so."
"I do not question your loyalty Denai. I question your motivation. You once asked Alaya to be allowed to entreat Shepard to become her acolyte, her princeps. You wished to swear an oath of fealty to a person who did not know what it was or what it meant. I would never ask fealty of another, least of all one who has proven themselves as you have. I do not understand why you yourself don't offer, but I do not demand it."
"The circumstances are different, Peeress, and we both know that Sarah was every bit as T'Soni as you."
Liara cocked her head in consideration, as she noticed Denai's change in bearing, the certainty that had settled over Denai. Perhaps they were closer now to what Denai had come to say. "How so?"
"While I served the House when Shepard was Named, I was not bound. With Benezia's death, I had no superseding allegiance."
Liara closed her eyes for a moment. So that was it. For the first time since Alchera, Liara felt pity for someone other than herself.
"She's gone, Denai," she softly.
"Is she, Peeress? Is she really?"
"You know so. You know as well as I. You retrieved me when I was mad with grief. You shared my memory of her loss, of losing her. There can be no greater certainty of her death."
"Yes, Peeress" agreed Denai. "I am aware that she died."
Liara pursed her lips at the odd specificity of the statement. Denai had come to be as frustrating as Sarah in a remarkably short time. "But…?"
"But I question that she is 'gone'."
"Denai, this conversation is difficult enough without clinging to vain hope."
Denai waived her to silence, another flagrant disregard for Liara's position. "This is not hope Peeress, but observation. I saw you after Shepard's death. I saw you on Arcturus. You were wounded, you were in pain. You were mourning someone who you cared for more than any other." Denai made eye contact for the first time. "You could barely function. It is amazing that Admiral Hackett agreed to meet with you at all."
"Your point?" Liara's anger was starting to grow.
Denai looked back at her quizzically. "You're no longer in mourning. You're still suffering from the effects of what happened, but your grief no longer defines you."
"If this is about the dress…"
"It is Peeress, and it isn't. Yes, your choice of dress was worthy of comment, but not inexplicable given your expected emotional duress."
"Thank you Denai," Liara decided to bring this conversation to a close. Denai was obviously too agitated to get to the point. "As you said, we have two more days of travel. We can discuss this further tomor…"
"Where is she, Liara?" Denai blurted out.
"What?"
Denai's eyes burned. "Where is Sarah? Where is the member of the family that I'm sworn to?"
"I think you should go."
"I think I should stay. I need to know. She was still on Omega when you arrived. When she was taken, you pursued. Then you arrived on Illium less than five days later on a different ship, wearing human clothing."
"How did you…?" Liara began. "Nevermind. I know how. What point are you trying to make?"
"Five days wasn't enough time."
"I tire of this Denai. Not enough time for what?"
"You never would have given up that quickly, Peeress."
Liara froze. There it was. This was exactly what she'd feared.
"You would have brought her home, or you would have searched until there was absolutely no hope. Especially not after being on the same station. You would never have left her behind if there was so much as a chance that she could be brought back to us. Even if for no other purpose than for her to be properly mourned." Denai shrugged. "You came back too quickly, you came back without her, and you came back angry. You did notcome back grieving."
Liara didn't respond.
"And now there are these reports from the Terminus," Denai continued. "'Shepard sightings' are becoming so commonplace that they're no longer considered newsworthy."
"They aren't her," said Liara quickly.
Denai rolled her eyes. "But you know this because you know where she is. All I'm asking is that you tell me. I believe I deserve that."
"I can't."
Denai rocked back on her heels, obviously surprised that her outburst had borne fruit. "Wait… She's alive?"
Liara's face was a mask. "I know where she is. That is all I can say. I can't tell you more without putting her at risk. Even this was too much, but as you say, you deserve to know."
"You couldn't 'put her at risk' if she were dead, Peeress. If she is alive, it is my duty to assist her in any way that I can."
"I need you to trust me Denai, when I say that you have no idea what you're saying. I hope that one day you do. That will likely be a very happy day for us both."
Liara watched as Denai processed the information that she'd been given, and knew that the matron would reach an incorrect conclusion. That was fine. Anything that kept people off of Shepard's trail. Even loved ones were a danger while Sarah was unable to defend herself, and Liara's denial had been firm.
When Denai demonstrated no inclination to respond, Liara put two fingers to the bridge of her nose.
"Is that all, Denai?" Perhaps this conversation had been enough to provide her some respite from Denai and her desire to 'help' her.
"No Peeress, thank you," shock was still in her tone. "I came to see you for a different reason entirely."
'Another hope dashed,' thought Liara selfishly. "Yes Denai? I believe that I have been very giving with my time this evening."
"I am sorry that you were distressed that I did not offer my fealty to you."
"You came to apologize?"
Denai nodded. "Partially. It is what Sarah would have wanted. She would have desired that I assist you in any way that I could." The matron looked away. "She once asked what she could possibly have to teach, that an acolyte would choose to follow her."
"I remember," said Liara. It had been the day that Denai had sworn fealty to Shepard, not an event quickly forgotten.
"At the time, I thought I knew. Her achievements, the esteem in which you held her. Both of those were indications of a remarkable individual." She shook her head. "I expected greatness. Different from Benezia's, yes, but a nobility and prominence that comes from someone as accomplished as she." One side of her mouth curled in the hint of a sardonic smile. "I wanted to be near that greatness, that purpose. Like I had with Benezia."
She turned back to Liara. "But it was not her abilities that were her strength, but her moral compass. There were times, in my service to the house, that I questioned even your mother's agendas. Times when I accepted Benezia's wisdom without understanding it." She shook her head. "Not so with Sarah. What I learned from her, what I am learning, is how to do what is right." Now she looked directly at Liara. "Sometimes sacrifices need to be made, but not at the cost of compromising who we are."
Liara's stomach clenched at the memory of delivering Shepard to Cerberus. There was quite possibly no more definitive way that she could have compromised who Shepard was, or what she stood for.
"And you feel that I have compromised myself, Denai?"
"I would never suggest such, Peeress."
'Of course you would' thought Liara. 'You just did.' "Then what are you saying?"
"That Sarah would have wanted you to have the support of the family, of your friends from the Normandy. She would say that we are stronger together."
Liara could practically hear Sarah's voice saying those words.
"Perhaps most importantly, she would have wanted you to continue forward with purpose, not allow yourself to become adrift," finished Denai.
'Purpose,' thought Liara. An unexpected priority, but one that fit well with the mindset of one who would choose to be an acolyte. She would have expected Denai to tell her to rest and recover, perhaps try to plan an escape from the coming Reaper invasion.
A plan other than the one already in motion, at any rate.
And yet Denai's point was valid. Liara had never been so fulfilled as the times when she had been working towards a goal. Her university studies, her doctoral thesis, her research on the Protheans. Each of those had placed her at odds with the expectations of others, yet had provided her with the most personal satisfaction.
But what purpose could matter when compared with the extinction of all intelligent life?
Shepard would have said it didn't make a difference. That was what Denai was trying to get across to her, Liara realized. She'd always struggled against the expectations of others. Helping Shepard against a disbelieving Council had just been more of the same, and she'd thrived on it. Now, with no one saying what she could or could not do, she'd had nowhere to focus her energies. Without Shepard, she'd allowed herself to become directionless.
"Thank you Denai." Liara felt like herself for the first time in weeks. Perhaps resisting authority was her natural state. Her mother certainly would have agreed. "You are correct. It is time that I remember what is important, and that I act on that knowledge."
"How may I serve, Peeress? We still have two days before we arrive on Thessia."
"You may inform Piraya that there has been a change in plan. We are not going to the estate."
"Peeress?"
"Have her set a course for Tuchanka."
A/N:
Assumptions here include:
FemShep/Liara
Post ME2 beginning / Post Redemption comic / Pre Liara as information broker
Sarah Shepard is:
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero
As always, thank you for reading. Feedback is welcome and desired
joking611
