A/N THIS IS SORT OF A REFLECTIVE CHAPTER. PACEY AND ANDIE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT. FIREWORKS NEXT CHAPTER

After a long restless night of pitching and rolling; the seas seemed to calm somewhat. Instead of the incessant slamming of the boat; the peaks and valleys of the waves became gentler. It felt like the boat was climbing a long hill and then the gentle rush downhill. Andie knew that the waves were spaced further apart and they were leaving the confused seas of the storm. What rocked the boat now was swells; walls of water pushed by the wind. Andie noticed the first hint of dawn before she fell into a deep sleep.

Andie awoke; the boat was totally silent except for the normal creaks and groans. Diana was still fast asleep. Quietly Andie Un-strapped her self and slipped into her khaki shorts and slid a sweatshirt over her head. ; Normal boat attire. The passageway was still dark with the muted red lights still shining. Andie made her way to the aft of the boat and climbed the ladder to the deck. She looked around and saw that Carlos was now the helmsman. Pacey was still on deck and he looked exhausted.

Andie made her way over to Pacey gingerly holding on to the boat to keep her balance. Pacey took one look at her and yelled "Damn it Andie. What did I tell you about a life jacket? You're no exception. Get over here."

Andie walked over to Pacey. Even though he had on slickers and boots she could tell he was soaking wet and miserable." I'm sorry Pacey. I forgot."

Pacey took his hand and cupped her chin forcing her to look into his eyes. "Andie I am sorry will get you killed. You're a doctor for God's sake. You should know better."

"But Pacey it is getting calmer. I did not think I would need a life jacket."

"Look Andie you see how the boat is still in heavy swells? We are riding alright for now, but if we bury our bow into one; water will wash down the deck and if you are not careful it will wash your dumb ass over the side."

Andie was shocked at Pacey's choice of words and the tone of his voice. She wordlessly turned away and went back below. Walking down the passageway again she stopped at the galley and took a bench in the dark. She thought about how guilty she felt when she awoke; guilty about fantasizing making love with Sean. And she had almost kissed Pacey a half hour before those thoughts. Andie just wanted to talk to Pacey and be near him. ; To figure something out.

Sean somehow knew she was in Love with someone else. Their parting had been somewhat of a goodbye. Even though she told Diana she wanted to see him again; Andie wondered if he would want to see her again. Her fantasies were erotic, but Andie wondered if she could go through with them if the opportunity presented its self.

Obviously Pacey was not thrilled with her from the way he spoke to her. Maybe she was the fool. Just because she had harbored feelings for so many years; it did not mean that Pacey did also.

Pacey watched the retreating back of Andie. The second the words escaped his lips he wished he could have snatched them back. He could not believe that she came back on deck with out a life jacket. Pacey then wondered if he would have spoken as harshly to another passenger as he did to Andie. Was he taking out his hurt feelings on her? What were his feelings for her? Pacey then asked himself the question he had been avoiding ever since he ran into Andie in Malaga. Did he still really have deep feelings for her? Or was it just a memory of feelings. If he had really loved her why didn't he go back for her? If he had truly loved her why did he get married to someone else? If he didn't have strong feeling for her why was he so upset when she was kissing that navy guy? During the storm last night when he was yelling in her ear; he came so close to kissing her?

The seas were calming. Pacey told Carlos he was on his own and if he needed him he would be in his cabin. Pacey let himself down the ladder and walked forward to his cabin. He spied Andie sitting at the mess table with her head in her arms. She seemed to be asleep and Pacey decided to let he be. The wet sailor entered his cabin and stripped out of his slickers, boots and wet clothes. He'd worry about them later and just tossed them in the corner. Pacey gratefully slipped beneath his sheets. And as in many other times he was too tired to sleep. He was exhausted but sleep evaded him. His thoughts turned to the terrible days when Andie descended into mental illness. As much as he loved her and tried he could not stop her slide into a land of unreality and ghosts. The strain of Tim's death, her mother's own mental illness and her father's abandonment finally cracked her. No matter what he and Jack tried she slipped further and further away. The moments of lucidity and love had become very sparing.

Then months later when she was better and ready to rejoin him; she stabbed him in the heart. Her tearful confession; took him by surprise. He was tore up inside. When she begged for forgiveness his self righteous speech hammered her. Maybe if he had shown pain or anger; but no he was calm and he surgically cut their relationship to shreds; with his coldly chosen words.

He told Andie over and over again that he forgave her, but in his heart he never did. When he devastated her at the prom and she told him to follow his heart; he started to realize something. Then when she answered his "Ask me to stay" message that was meant for Joey he started to realize what he had not figured out. When she appeared on his boat and kissed him and let her coat fall; he was shocked and speechless. Andie made love to him that night. It was tender and beautiful. She told him to go. And find him self.

Still in his heart he knew that he had not forgiven her. He thought the world of her probably loved her on some level, but it took the marriage to Sandy for him to finally figure out what really happened with Andie. What Andie did had nothing to do with love or sex. It was the act of a frightened lonely young girl trying to seek solace. Pacey wished he had figured that out years before. Her love for him never wavered. He was a fool. It was a miracle; he was being handed a second chance with her, and again he was blowing it. Since when did he care about rules? This was just a job he was doing as a favor. He didn't need it. So what if he romanced a passenger? Did he hesitate because he was afraid of what may happen? Was he afraid that she did not love him or care for him the same way she did twelve years ago? Twelve years had past. Andie was a beautiful woman. He was sure she had her romances and loves since they parted. He knew he thought of her often; even when he was married he thought of her. Pacey wondered if she was still sleeping on the table, what would happen if he walked out and took her back to his cabin.

Andie woke for the second time. This time she had dosed off on the mess table. She glanced at the clock and it was 0730. She heard Miguel stirring in the galley. When she entered the galley she watched Miguel boiling eggs in a pot that was sitting in some sort of cage over the stove. He was also slicing tomatoes and lying out lettuce and onions.

"Buenos días Miguel puede te ayudo?"

"Buenos días Andie, sí, sólo vamos a tener un desayuno simple de bocadillos de ensalada de huevo y

café"

Sleepily Diana asked "What are you two talking about?"

"Hey Diana good morning."

"Diana peered at Andie she picked up the false cheerfulness. That she would deal with later. "So what did you say?"

"Miguel was just telling me that we are going to have egg salad sandwiches with lettuce tomato and onion?"

"Onion on egg salad?"

"Hey Diana he is the cook. I am going to give him a hand in passing the food out."

"Alright Andie what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You did not come back to the room and you are way too cheerful."

Andie stared at Diana for a few moments. "I think you are getting to know me way to well."

"So something did happen?"

"Yeah, but let's talk about it later"

Breakfast was simple and with the motion of the boat abating; the passenger's appetites were returning. Especially James who spent most of the storm tethered to the Taffrail retching his guys out. Diana took pity on him and got him an extra sandwich. "So where did you two get sick. I was out there with the Moresby's I did not see you two."

Diana patted James on the head. "Sorry Andie and I did not get sick. In fact we drank some wine during the storm. I see your room mate did not get sick either."

"Yeah he was a pain in the ass. All he did was sing the lyrics of The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald."

The girls laughed. "Do you think he was trying to get to you James? You know if you did not act like suck an ass; Joe could be a good friend."

Diana then reached over and grabbed Andie's hand. "Come on let's go to the cabin. Bye James"

The girls entered the cabin and sat on their respective bunks. "Alright Andie what happened?"

"I went up on deck and Pacey yelled at me. He called me a dumb ass."

"Andie there has to be a reason why he yelled at you."

Andie hesitated. "I did not have my life jacket on."

"You know Andie I am not a nautical genius, but he did tell us to have them on when we went up on deck."

Andie sighed, "I know, I know, it was just the way he told me. He was nasty. He called me a dumb ass."

Diana rose and sat next to Andie. "Did you ever think that you wandering around the deck scared him? And maybe your loss was something he could not deal with? And he may have over reacted."

"I don't know Diana. He has done nothing but push me away. You know I signed onto this cruise to have fun and I was. Then I ran into Pacey. I threw my self at him and was rejected. I want to have fun; I want to be romanced. I want to be loved Diana. I know you have Jim and Sean's ships' schedule. I want to see Sean. I mean it. As I said before if I had not ran into Pacey; I would have loved to go out with him."

Diana ran her hands through her hair. Okay Andie I will see what I can do. I was going to sort of ignore our previous conversation, but if that is what you want I will do it."

"Thank you Diana; we will be in Valencia tomorrow."

They heard a sharp knock and they both chorused. "Come in."

Pacey entered the cabin. "Andie I need to talk to you."

TO BE CONTINUED….