Title: Falter

Rating: PG-13 (Teen)

Pairings: (for this chapter) KaoNeko, (one-sided) HikaKao

Notes: Anybody want to know anything about me? I mean how many people read this? Anyway if you want to ask me anything (including my opinion on world hunger) I'll be more and happy to answer.

Obviously I have too much free time…

Ah… and a special thinks to SSA Spork-Chan who guilt-tripped me into writing this and helped me come up with the idea.

Hikaru's thoughts

Kaoru's thoughts

The voice

Falter

Part VII

"Are you ready?"

I don't know why he asked, he could see that I was, but I answered anyway.

"This is going to be so much fun."

How is it going to be any different than any other time that we've been to an amusement park, the only difference is that this park is inside so we won't have bare the cold. But he looks so happy and excited that I can't bare to bring him down.

He grabs my hand and drags me out the door. "Come on Hikaru." He seems to be bursting at the seams with happiness and I can't tell what he's more happy about, the fact that we're going to the amusement park, or if it's the fact that I'm coming out of with drawling. Or at least he thinks.

I try to ignore it, but it's a lot harder to do with Kaoru sitting so close to me. The car ride is short but he's never not touching me in some way, it kept the voice at bay so I didn't mind, and soon he was pulling me out of the car after him, "You're moving slow today." He giggled.

"I'm sorry, I'm still kinda sleepy."

He looks me over, an odd softness in his eyes. "Then let's get some sugar in you." He smiles widely at me and I copy his smile as we give the lady at the entrance our passes and entered the building.

We were greeted by warm air, false sunlight, the mechanical whining of the rides, and the noises that people were making. The smells of food from all over the world filled the air, but it wasn't over whelming.

So Hikaru, what do you want.

"Slushy," I say automatically, "and funnel-cake."

He flashes me a shit eating grin and we were off. "This is nice," He says off handedly as we sit outside the funnel-cake booth sharing a large one covered in powder-sugar and strawberries each of us with our own slushes.

"Yeah you almost don't even realize you're not outside."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I meant being with you."

"You're almost always with me, even now that you're going out with Nekozawa."

He looked displeased. "We haven't been together like this in months…" He stared down at the empty plate and I'm glad he did because I was opening my mouth to argue when I realized that he was right.

"Yeah." I smiled widely when he looked up. "Let's have some fun!"

Your being too happy. You have no right to be happy. You're in love with your brother, you know.

How could I not, I think to myself bitterly, if I didn't know then this wouldn't be so bad, we wouldn't be on the edge of falling apart. He started this but I'm just as much to blame.

Ignoring me isn't going to help.

Its taunting me, but for now my fracturing sanity will have to wait because he's happy to be here and him being happy makes me happy. "What should we do next?"

"That roller coaster." He points to the tall ride that's behind the row of concessions, "Then maybe the arcade?"

I smile and nod, not having any better ideas.

We're too tired to talk at this point, too tired to even move, but we make the long trip to our room. I don't think that either of us ever hated being rich so much as we did at that moment, everything was so far apart.

Twelve hours at an amusement park can really take it out of you in a way that I didn't think was really possible. But the voice is silent so I'm thankful.

I began stripping of my clothes as we walked down the hall. What are you doing?

Getting ready for bed.

On the way to bed?

Saves time…

He pauses and considers this for a moment before awkwardly stepping out of his shoes and pulling off layers with each step he took. Stop staring. It's weird.

You never minded before.

It's different now.

You're right. I don't move my eyes from where they were though and I don't think he really cares.

By the time we make it to our room we've stripped down to our boxers, and he's trying to pull off his left sock with little success. We don't even turn on the lights and I crawl straight into bed, and with the success of his sock flying out into the hall he shuts the door and crawls into bed a few seconds behind me.

Good night Hikaru.

Night Kaoru.

I roll over and curl up, facing away from my brother. He's slightly disappointed but it passes as he falls asleep, but for some reason I just can't join him.

The voice laughs at me You have a text message. How does it know? I left my phone here, but knowing I won't be able to sleep until I check for myself, I reach out with slow sleepy movements. I flip the blue device open and sure enough I did.

This caused me to freak out. How did it know? Kaoru stirred in his sleep. "Nekoe…"

I wince, opening the text message.

Hikaru, I want to meet with you tomorrow. 4 at the café fine?

Nekozawa

I know what café he's talking about, the one he and Kaoru had their date at, the one I forced Tamaki to come with me so we could crash.

Okay.

I should tell him no because I don't want to have anything to do with him, but I know that it'll make Kaoru happy.

You could get rid of him…

No I can't!

You could…

They'd know.

No they wouldn't, you'd just have to be extra careful.

I won't do that to Kaoru. I think firmly, letting the voice know that there's no way in hell.

Suit yourself…

The voice leaves me in peace, but I don't have any peace, I don't derive any peace. And once again I'm drawn into another night with out sleep.

I sit across from him feeling confused. My eyes locked on the table from shame, he hasn't said more than hello to me, but the look in his eyes makes me feel guilty because of the thoughts the voice put in my head.

He's watching you.

"Hikaru."

I jump and look up, "Y-yes?" I feel out of my element here with him He looks normal enough right now, but I know that he's anything but.

"Are you listening to it?"

"It?"

"The voice?"

"You can hear it."

He nods, "Kaoru can't though."

He's lying!

"I'm not. Hikaru, you're not going insane, yet. But if you don't silence it, you will still yet."

"What do you know?"

"A lot more then you think…"

TBC

I kept switching tense… Sorry for that, but at least I got another chapter done. Way late… college is keeping me… okay that a lie. I've just been lazy and uninspired.

Next chapter~ What does Nekozawa mean? What's really going on with Hikaru? Find out next time~