It had been a few days since we had gone to the studio to sing for Kaito and he was doing very well. He had regained the majority of his memories apart from the ones about me. We had been spending a lot of time together though as he seemed to enjoy my company,we would talk watch movies, go for walks around town and go for ice cream in his favourite ice cream parlour. It had been wonderful but I still missed the closeness we had as a couple, not in a sexual way although I did miss that part it was more the fact that I just wanted to hug him and kiss him but I couldn't.
He also relished in his love for singing, he sang at every given opportunity whether it was when we were walking, when he was in the shower or in the professional setting of the studio. His voice was just as wonderful as it was before his coma and I loved listening to him although I have noticed he hasn't once sang using the whisper voice bank. I asked him once why he didn't sing using Whisper and he said he was scared as that was were the virus had manifested and also he didn't feel right singing in that mode as he felt like he was missing something when he tried to sing in whisper but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.
Today I had enjoyed a peaceful morning of sitting in the living room reading my book as the others including Kaito had decided to go to the beach but as I hate sand I had decided to stay at home and chill out. I was laying on the sofa trying to have a nap when I heard the front door open and close again then someone walked into the living room so I opened one eye to find Kaito standing in the middle of the room trying to take his t-shirt off but was having trouble as he looked like he was in pain.
"What's up Kaito?" I asked as I sat up
"I got sunburnt at the beach and my t-shirt is rubbing on my back causing it to hurt" he replied after giving up trying to get the t-shirt off.
"Well I have some after sun lotion you can have for the sunburn I'll go get it" I said as he sat down on the sofa. I got up and went upstairs to my bathroom, found the cream and walked back downstairs.
"Can I be a pain and ask you to rub the lotion in please Gakupo I cant move my arms much" he said shyly.
"Of course" I replied placing the lotion on the coffee table and moving over to Kaito.
"Okey arms up" he lifted his arms up slowly obviously in pain "Are you ready" I asked
"Yep" he replied and I took his t-shirt off and sat back down.
I sat next to him and he shuffled round so his back was to me, I winced at the sight of his red back but I dripped some lotion onto his back and very gently rubbed it into the sunburn.
"That actually feels quite nice Gakupo, you have nice,soft skilful hands" He said causing me to blush.
"Thank you Kaito" I replied
"Do you mind if I keep my shirt off its scratchy" He asked oh dear lord no I don't mind you keeping your t-shirt off so I can see your toned abs and perfect skin I thought to myself but decided to say "of course not Kaito what ever makes you comfortable"
"Thanks Gakupo your a great friend" He said before getting the TV remote and turning the TV on.
We sat for a while watching the TV I wasn't really paying attention to what was on. Kaito suddenly turned to me and said "We were best friends before my coma weren't we Gakupo". I swallowed before saying "Yes we were Kaito why do you say that?" I asked
"Because I feel like I'm nice and safe when I'm with you, I feel like I can tell you anything and I just love being around you" He replied smiling.
"Well that's good Kaito I feel the same" I smiled back and we went back to watching the TV.
"Gakupo?" Kaito said whispered.
"Yes Kaito" I replied
"Can I ask for …... a hug please?" He asked
I swallowed again before I nodded and he moved closer to me, I wrapped my arms around him being careful of his sunburn and he relaxed in my arms. I had missed the feeling of wrapping my arms around the love of my life but I felt all the emotions I had been keeping secret for the past few days bubbling to the surface and I let Kaito go before quickly getting up off the sofa "I can't do this Kaito I'm so sorry" I said tears falling from my eyes and I ran upstairs to my room leaving a rather bewildered Kaito sitting on the sofa.
A while later I heard the others come home and the house was filled with the usual sounds and chatter. I decided to stay in my room I had been barely able to stop crying for the last few hours, I was finding it incredibly hard not to tell Kaito how I feel and what we were before the coma. I wanted to go down stairs, hold him in my arms and tell him yes we were best friend but we were also partners you were and still are the love of my life and I worship the ground you walk on, you are my whole world and the day you fell into the coma was the day my life crumbled but I can't and I have to settle for being his friend now. I just have to learn to live with the fact we cannot go back to the way we were and I will have to love him from afar but no matter what I will always be there for him if he ever needs me for anything.
I shuffled under my blanket and wrapped it around me tight before holding Kaito's scarf that I still had and started to cry again, suddenly I heard a knock at my door.
To be continued …...
