Thanks to everyone who is still reading my amazingly slow paced story.

I know I've said this about some of the others, but this is my favourite chapter. I kind of make Jace look like a jerk, but it is coming from a good place.

Also, a recommendation. Anyone into anime? *raises hand* Anyone into Japanese dramas? *looks baffled*

I never thought I would say it, but watched a Japanese drama, and fell in love.

If anyone is interested, it is called "Tumbling" and actually made me cry. If you think this is touching, watch this show. It's like Glee, but better. All guys. In gymnastics outfits. Sometimes taking baths together while maintaining (for the most part) that they are straight. Look it up. I think there is actually a site where you can watch it for free online.

Also, some interesting (totally not interesting) trivia. While this fic is labelled "Changing the Equation", it is actually labelled "Tonight" on my laptop. Why? If you can recall, 'tonight' is the first word of the story, and when someone was looking at my laptop, I just quickly saved it as "Tonight".

After much wait…

Magnus rifled through the pages of the spell book, cursing himself for not having read the book through its entirely before this ordeal. It would have made this situation a great amount less agonising.

Occasionally, the warlock would swear in the language of the Lilith when pages stuck together. Why couldn't the world just swallow him up and save Alec from death.

And save Alec from Magnus himself.

Magnus was crying, his vision becoming increasingly blurred. The pages became more and more difficult to read, which made Magnus cry even more, hating himself for the felony he had committed.

He knew that he had not killed Alec, but he couldn't help feel like he had presented the boy with a knife. What had he thought would happen? Alec would scamper off into the wide world, find a suitable partner and forget about him while he wallowed in his apartment, only taking happiness from the knowledge that he had helped his true love find a second best?

No, and Magnus knew the truth now.

He had wanted to say that he had tried, more than anything else. To say that he had made the effort, and that it hadn't worked out. That their love was too strong to be forever apart, and that they were bound in a way that couldn't be undone. He had hoped that they would get back together again.

It wasn't a test, Magnus knew himself well enough to know that he wasn't that snide, but it had been almost as horrible. It had been him attempting to present himself as 'mature' and 'sophisticated'. That he knew what was best for Alec, and that he wasn't afraid to put his love's needs before his own desires.

It had been extremely unintelligent.

Magnus remembered hearing Alec's parents talking about him when they had believed that he was out of hearing range. He had not been able to decipher all of their conversation, but he probably wouldn't have wanted to. He had heard the words 'immature', 'obnoxious', 'inconsiderate' and worst of all; 'it will never work out'.

It wasn't so much that Alec's own father had said it. Robert was renowned for having issues with his son's choice in men; men being the key word. He had his issues, but he would have come around, although Magnus had the feeling that he would never be able to respect the shadowhunter. Magnus had lost count of the times he would find Alec with tears in his eyes after heated phone calls with his father on the nights he stayed with him at his apartment. The warlock hadn't even realised what was happening until he walked in on Alec while he was showering, hoping to surprise him. He had found the boy sitting at the bottom of the shower, sobbing shamelessly as the sound of the water falling muffled his gasps. Magnus hadn't even bothered to unclothe himself before he had slipped into the shower next to his upset Nephilim, feeling frantic for what must have been the thousandth time since having met Alec.

No, it wasn't that Robert had said it. It was that he had been thinking it, and he had come to realise that everyone else saw his relationship in the light of something temporary. He yearned to prove them wrong, every last one of them, but everything had crumbled before him.

Magnus felt like throwing the White book into the water for all of the help it was providing him, each second wasted stomping on the warlock's stomach, making him feel extremely ill.

No one could possibly have hated themselves as Magnus did at that moment without being in a condition much like Alec's. Magnus agreed with Robert, for once, in that he was immature, obnoxious and inconsiderate. Alec wasn't a possession to be messed with. He was…

There weren't words.

Nothing could possibly describe exactly what Alec meant to Magnus, nor how it felt to have him ripped away from him by his own hand.

The others were all crowded around Alec now, drenched by water and tears. Isabelle was holding her brother, occasionally whispering to him, as though he could still hear her through the dark haze of unconsciousness.

Jace kept a little extra distance from his brother, but if you looked hard enough you could see that he was holding Alec's hand in his own, like a life line. It was bordering on being sweet. The blond shadowhunter no longer looked furious, but rather pleading and impatient as his jaw clenched and unclenched to an unknown rhythm.

Clary merely appeared out of place. She loved Alec, she did, but she couldn't help but wish to leave. No one could help Magnus, that much was certain, but even the dying shadowhunter's siblings would shy away from her help. Isabelle would probably slap her if she tried to come near her, and Jace looked so thoroughly out of his usual element that it seemed almost too dangerous to approach him. Magnus would have pitied the poor thing, had it not been for the fact that she ranked one millionth on his list of priorities, right after 'Save Alec, Save Alec, Save Alec…'

Suddenly, Magnus's heart stopped. His whole body shuddered in anticipation as he held the Book of White in his quivering hands. There in front of him was a spell. A spell which could save Alec, if the circumstances stood correctly. Time seemed to stand still.

Magnus turned to Jace and showed him the page with the wonder spell. It wasn't definite, but it remained a possibility. Jace shot him a scowl.

"Not everyone is so unfortunate as to speak the language of the Lillith," he hissed, coldly. His eyes were holding back tears as he watched his older brother lay dying in the pools of water. Magnus would have been taken aback, but he was too… hopeful.

"It's a spell… to save Ale-"

"Stop it!" screamed Jace, surprising Magnus significantly. "Stop pretending you know the answer. Stop pretending you have any clue what to do, or even what this is."

Jace was breathing in heavily, exhausted emotionally and somewhat drained. Magnus knew his words were true, but even if there was the smallest, faintest hope that this could work, he had to try. He would never forgive himself if he didn't.

He would never forgive himself if he did.

"I-I have to try. I have to do something." Jace looked unconvinced. Magnus sighed, before speaking again, "What if this was Clary? What would you do?"

"Why would it be any different, Downworlder?" Jace's voice was ice cold, and Magnus actually flinched, but didn't dignify this with a response. Jace proceeded to speak. "Is it because you think I don't love him? Well I do, and I-"

Magnus had had enough. This was wasting time.

"You love him, but you aren't in love with him. When someone you love is dying, you pray to God that someone can help them, that they will get better." Magnus shoved Jace to the side. "When someone you are in love with is dying, you damn well verbally abuse God until they get better. Alec isn't Clary, and you love him, but it isn't the same. It's not enough."

"You bastard! What right do you have to even say these things?" shouted Jace, infuriated, wishing to hurt Magnus as much as humanly (or inhumanly) possible. His next words did exactly that. "It's your fault he is dying. It is your fault I'm losing my last brother, and it is your fault Alec is in excruciating pain right now! I can't save him? Yeah, you're right. Nobody can. But if nothing else, I will enjoy watching your heart being torn to pieces as you watch my brother die, thinking that you hate him, thinking that you wanted nothing to do with him, and wouldn't bat a glittery eye if he died."

Everything went silent. Clary stopped moving around in the murky water and sobbing. Isabelle ceased her one sided conversation with Alec and Magnus froze, looking at the blond shadowhunter with wide eyes.

Jace regretted those words immediately. They were… savage. They held so much venom that he feared Magnus may pass out, but the man surprised him.

Magnus knew everything Jace had said was true, but it made him feel so much worse.

You practically gave him the knife, said a voice in his head. You deserve to feel everything you do.

Usually, under such circumstances, Magnus's head would produce a second voice, telling him that what he had done was from a good place, and was substantially worried when the voice never replied.

He pushed everything to the side, trying to turn himself onto autopilot. He didn't have time for this.

Alec didn't have time for this!

"To the same brink," Magnus translated softly, tears falling down his cheek, his voice shaky. He read from the Book of the White, not caring if anyone knew what he was talking about. "When a client has a loved one who is moments away from death's clutches, this spell can be put to use. This rare piece of magic is seldom used, as it requires an exceptionally powerful warlock, and an exceedingly great amount of knowledge in conjunction with the client and warlock. This is placed upon the client, who must then carry on the rest of the ceremony upon their lover on their own. The two must be," Magnus let out a long, quivering sigh, before swallowing and resuming, "The two must be in true love for this spell to take effectiveness. If this is completed accurately, the lifespan of the client will be halved, giving one half to their dying partner. The client will consequently bear half of their lover's burden."

"Half…" came Clary's voice, trailing off.

"Half of eternity." The word hung in the air for a few moments, until Magnus resumed, feeling as though he owed Alec's siblings an explanation. "I-if I can follow the instructions, I should be able to…"

"What if you can't?" It was Jace who spoke, shocking everyone.

"What's the difference?" Magnus retorted, fury building up. "Then he will die after we've tried our hardest. If we just leave him, if we just let him go, we will have to live with it for the rest of our lives."

I will have to live with it forever.

"Go. Now. Save Alec," said Isabelle, sounding somewhat more like herself. "Ignore Jace, he's arguing for the sake of it. He wants you to do this too. And… if he doesn't," Isabelle stopped again, only to force herself to speak her most dreaded words, "If he protests, I will not refrain from using my blood relationship with Alec as a trump card."

More silence. Jace was looking at his hands, thinking about what he had said. He had been wrong to say those things, no matter how angry he was. He was not an animal. He had more than instinct, and it must have been the by the influence of a higher power that caused Jace to speak next.

"Please," said Jace, the words sounding choked and seldom used, "Please do whatever you can for him."

That was all the invitation Magnus needed to run over to Alec's dead looking body, almost tripping over himself to do so, and plonk down by his lover's side. He grabbed Alec's hand, ignoring the blood which was still oozing from his wrist, hesitating slightly. He turned back to see the others, sitting back down beside him once more.

"There's a chance," he murmured, "that both of us will die. Jace, I need you to call Maryse and Robert immediately to retrieve Alec when I'm done, and me too if you can. He will need blood, badly, and anything else you can give him."

Jace hastily dialled his mother's phone number, tripping over the numbers several times before he was able to make the call. Magnus began the enchantment.

The warlock spoke in his other tongue, his voice sounded low and powerful. Despite his soft pitch, it still seemed to ring throughout the lost warlock's den. The only other notable noise was the sound of Jace trying to negotiate with his parents, attempting in vain to put the phrase 'Your eldest son has tried to top himself because his idiot of a downworlder boyfriend broke up with him. Yeah, he's lying in a room only warlocks can enter, bleeding to death. I'll be sure to open the door for you,' in a somewhat kinder way, only to fail and say almost exactly that. Magnus pitied Maryse.

Once the enchantment upon himself was complete, Magnus put his legs on either side of Alec's still body. He wondered how many times they had been in exactly the same position. Of course, all those times Alec had been squirming beneath him, unsure of what to do.

It had always bothered Alec how new to 'this' he was. Magnus had once come back to his apartment and found Alec looking extremely upset, like something was gnawing away at his mind. Of course, the High Warlock of Brooklyn had planned on cheering his little shadowhunter up, and had pressed his lips to Alec's after striding meaningfully across the room. The kiss had lasted a short while, until Alec had broken it off midway through, when Magnus had started 'touching' him.

Magnus had been in an identical position to his current one, on the couch with the shadowhunter, attempting to reengage him in another kiss. Alec only turned his head, looking miserable. 'Why do you even bother?' he had asked.

That had broken Magnus's heart just a little bit. Bother with what? The words cut into the warlock, for he had heard them many times before. Why does he bother dating if everyone will just die? Why would he try to fall in love? But Alec continued.

'Why do you bother with me, like this? I… kind of suck.'

Magnus was somewhat shocked. Alec was… everything he wanted. He was the only person he had ever wanted to spend eternity with, and he wanted it bad.

'If I have given you the impression that you "suck", then I apologise.'

'No!' Alec replied quickly. 'No it's just…'

Alec had covered his face with his hands, mumbling something into them which Magnus had been unable to hear.

'What was that, sweetie?'

Alec pulled his hands away and looked up into Magnus's eyes, his own shining in the light. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.

'You… you make me feel really good. Y-you know how to hold me, and… and touch me. You know how to make me feel like I'm perfect, and that I'm exactly what you want, but I have no idea how to make you feel like this.' He took in another breath, looking at his own hands rather than Magnus, whose eyes had widened in shock. 'I want to. I want so badly to be able to do all the things you do for me, but it doesn't come naturally. I don't want to be able to just tell you how I feel. I want to show you, but I wouldn't even know where to start. Despite how much I love you, I won't even put out…'

Alec had trailed off, finally meeting the warlock's eyes. Magnus had been severely stunned, so much so that he found himself unable to speak.

'Magnus…' Alec finally said, if only to break the growing silence.

'You're perfect,' Magnus had announced. 'Maybe I should have said it more often, but you are perfect, Alec. The reason why I hold you and,' the ghost of a smirk flitted onto Magnus's lips, 'touch you is because I love you, and I hope that you love me enough to let me do the things I do. Do you think that I do not enjoy making you squeal? That I don't like making you happy? Alec, it isn't a hindrance for me to do those things.'

'It's not the same. You do things with the sole purpose of giving me… p-pleasure.'

The word sounded foreign to Alec's lips, and Magnus had stifled a giggle, but soon sobered.

'One day, you will be ready,' came the warlock's voice, sounding like a purr, 'to let me have my wicked way with you. You will be ready, and it will be beautiful. We will always remember it, because it will be one of our best memories.'

Alec had looked back up to him, a hopeful expression forming on his face as Magnus began trailing kisses down his jaw and proceeding down his neck, occasionally stopping to mark his shadowhunter in a way which was different to any of the black, swirling marks on Alec's body.

But now Magnus leaned over Alec for an entirely new and terrible reason; to bring Alec back from what was nearly an eternal slumber.

The warlock bent his head over Alec's left wrist, stomach squirming as he gazed at the continuous flow of blood. Kiss all wounds, preparing to take half your lover's burden, the book had read. Magnus wiped away some of the blood with his long, slender fingers, and pressed his lips to the deep cut. A small blue light flashed in Alec's wound, signifying that the spell was working. Magnus quickly repeated this process on his other wrist, his lips smeared with Alec's blood.

Kiss their heart, for that is where you must always reach. Alec was wearing a plain, black shirt, his trademark sweater abandoned at Clary's house. Magnus tore it open without a trace of hesitation, and pressed his lips once more to the shadowhunter's flesh, hearing his heart still beating.

Press your lips to your other half's, signifying that you are ready. Magnus thought about this as he leaned forward. He would always be ready to do anything for Alec, whenever he needed him. Before he pursued the final kiss, he pressed his mouth to Alec's ear, whispering the words he had said time and time again to his little shadowhunter.

Magnus's lips met Alec's, a final blue light appearing as they made contact before Magnus too fell unconscious, praying that what he had done would save Alec rather than kill them both. His last words still rang throughout the chamber, like a ghost in everyone's ears.

"You're perfect."