Author's Note: I almost had a heart attack when I read in SBS that Zoro takes baths ONCE A WEEK.

So this is a revenge piece.

Oh my smelly Smelly SMELLY Zoro... I still adore you. :3


The One When Zoro Stank

On the whole, Roronoa Zoro described himself as a rather magnanimous and tolerant person. However, there's one thing he couldn't bring himself to put up with (even after years of dwelling in the Thousand Sunny, probably the noisiest ship on the Grand Line in his opinion): being awaken during his nap.

With that being said, there were several ways of being waken up he hated in particular, most of which were invented by a certain someone, namely: Nami. To list a few:being kicked in the side by someone's deadly high heels, being jabbed in the chest with the tip of someone's chart divider and being pulled (ferociously) by the earrings until his feet were no longer touching the ground.

When it came to domestic violence, it seemed that Nami's imagination had been proved unbelievably rich. After this one time she had thrown a singing Brook at his sleeping form (You would think a 5'7'' woman would have some difficulty lifting up an 8 feet skeleton), Zoro thought things couldn't possibly get any worse.

That is—until this particular afternoon, she poured a basin of icy water onto his head when he was snoring away on deck.

"Aaaargh! " He screamed and sat up, glaring up at her face. "Are you crazy, witch?"

"When's the last time you bathed?" She responded to his question with a question of her own, putting both hands on her hips in an interrogative manner.

"It's none of your freaking business!" He barked. Shit, now he felt cold and was wide awake.

"It is my business if I am staying in the same ship with you while you smell like a dead body!" She countered, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Seriously, Zoro, when's the last time you touched a soap? You stink!"

"…" He went silent for a while as he tried to bring up an honest answer. "…last Friday?" he offered.

"Oh Lord…" Nami's face paled as she snapped a hand onto her forehead. "Are you trying to ferment yourself? With the way you perspire, I'm surprised Sanji kun hasn't been picking mushrooms off from you!"

The swordsman's face flushed in embarrassment. He wanted to tell her to fuck off and to mind her own damn business and that he didn't care one bit about personal hygiene, but honestly, it stung a little to see that disgusted look on her face. Did she seriously think he stank?

He opened his mouth, about to tell her that he was actually going to take a shower tonight, but just then she tossed another basin of water over his head—

"Dammit woman! What the hell are you drenching me for?"

"Clearly you don't have the decency to clean yourself on a regular basis—so I'm doing it for you!" She yelled while dripping some suspicious sticky liquid on his hair from a bottle in her hand. A somewhat familiar fruity scent filled his nostrils.

"It stings—"his good eye squeezed shut as the shampoo slowly dripped down his face. She whacked him on the head: "Oh shut it, you big baby."

Muttering some profanity under his breath, he stayed put, allowing her hands to run through his mess of soaked hair, lathering up his green head with white foams.

He bet he must look ridiculous right now. Like a poodle or worse—her doll. And he smelt like a carton of fruit!

Shit. If it were not for the fact that he secretly liked the way she was messaging his scalp, he would've told her to leave him alone already.

"By the way, you just owed me another 1000 belis." She told him.

"WHAT?"

"Citrus gourmand—the stuff is pretty expensive. " She read out the name on the bottle in a deliberately slow tone, seeming to enjoy the look on his face when he heard it. "Be grateful, Zoro. This is what I use to wash my hair."

"…smells like shit." He mumbled in a whisper.

"You smelt like shit!" Too bad she'd heard it. And hit him hard on the head with the shampoo bottle.

I smell like you. He thought and decided to keep it to himself. It wasn't such an unbearable smell after all. In fact, he sorta began to like it.

The End


Author's Note No.2: ...And they took a bath together (which did not happen, but a girl is allowed to dream).

R & R, people~!

Minami