Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT.
A/N: Inspired by Dlvvanzor's amazing Teen Titan story: What if I told you.
Once again thank you guys so much for your support! It really means a lot to me. Thank you. Well I hope you like this, please enjoy for that is why we write…
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Day 7
So far, no good. I've been trying to come up with plans all day on how I'm going to get either extra time outside or extra time awake, but none of them seem to work. I tried begging dad for more time outside and he said he would think about it. But he also said if he let me, then one of my brother's on top of Casey would have to come out with me. Probably figures whatever I'm up to I can talk Casey into helping me with it. (Which I probably could) and that whichever brother is with us would serve as the common sense.
And despite my biggest, wettest, shiniest puppy dog eyes, dad said there was no way in my 'condition' I was going out alone. Though whether he meant my broken legs or where my head was, I don't know. He might mean both, but I'm thinking it's more where my head is.
But I can't help it!
Even with all the warnings, the glares and the teasing I can't help just wanting to know! I went out with Casey today and saw it again. This time though I tried to get slightly closer without Casey knowing only to find when I did the shadow seemed to know I was coming and took off. Stupid crutches! They completely mess up the ninja dynamic!
As well as the fact Casey caught me and like the older brother he's become to us all, teased me about it until we were back inside.
I guess some of what I'm doing sounds stupid to anyone else But I saw it! And I can't explain why but I need to know what it is. I don't know if it's cause deep down I'm scared it is a foot thing, or if it's just because there's always been this thing inside of me that's curious about everything. I mean growing up I was almost as curious as Donny.
But as time moved on, Donny's curiosity turned into more and more of a science and mine just kind of never picked a route and instead just grew. It's weird to think not really being curious about anything, because you're curious about everything.
I don't even know if I'm making sense right now.
I'm by the window again, wrapped in a blanket, but my eyes and head hurt and every muscle feels on edge.
It's not time to go to bed yet, so I know I don't have to worry about Leo trying to train for another hour at least. But it still feels like our roles have been slightly reversed. Like I'm trying to protect him, only this time the person I'm trying to protect him from, is himself. If that makes sense.
I don't know, I've just never seen my brother so aggressive about his training. At least not when he's injured like this. Not that he was ever run through with a sword before, but I mean whenever he was hurt and he knew it, he had the common sense to stay down.
I saw him again last night, this time though he seemed to barely be moving at all, as if every move was a struggle for him. Again I couldn't say anything and when he finally collapsed on his bed, again he cried. But it was softer if possible than before. And a part of me wonders if he even knew he was crying.
I don't know.
My eyes hurt. I want to see the shadow thing, but right now I need to take a break or something. I'm starting to feel kinda dizzy anyways, maybe it's all the writing. I guess I'll turn in early and maybe just maybe I can set a good example and Leo won't train tonight. Wow this is new, me setting the example? Talk about your reversed situations.
… …
Leo collapsed!!!
I don't even know what happened to him all I know was that I woke up the sound of him training again, this time though I couldn't take it anymore and tried to say something to him. But before I could much out of my mouth, his entire frame started to sway, his eyes rolled up and he just hit the ground.
I was out of bed as fast as I could, though I had to crawl some ways over to him. I remember checking his pulse, it was there but it was racing, and when I touched his forehead it was burning. And not just from sweat either.
The sudden noise woke everyone up in the room and before I could even explain, dad was right by me as well as Donny and Raph was able to get himself out of bed and come over.
I don't think I remember a time when Leo looked so pale. Raph shot me a look and I nodded. He knew what Leo had been doing, but what he didn't know was that I had seen him do it for two nights in a row as well as tonight.
Donny went to go get some cold water and a rag and April was up there as well in a matter of minutes after hearing the thud.
According to the thermometer Don put in Leo's mouth his temperature was a hundred and one.
But that was a few hours ago, and I hope it's down again.
Right now Leo's laying in his bed, with only a light sheet on and an ice pack on his forehead. When Casey got up there, and put him on the bed, Leo's breathing was coming harder and harder. But now it seems fine…
And I couldn't be angrier at myself! If I had just told someone what I saw him do again instead of worrying about him being mad at me maybe he'd be ok. Maybe this wouldn't have happened at all.
Sure he might have been mad at me for telling on him, but if it kept him safe I don't care! I just wish I had had the courage to do something about it when I had the chance.
April said he seems to have upset some of his injuries, because he loosened some of the bandages before his body was ready to do without their support. As well as several of his flesh wounds had become slightly infected.
And I feel like it's all my fault! If I had just told someone! Just said one thing or better yet told him to stop myself, maybe things would be different. I know it's not a big infection and that his bandages got readjusted, but what if there's something wrong now that we can't see? What if he really got himself hurt because no one stopped him or the infection turns into something we can't handle?!
I don't know! All I do know is that I feel terrible for not saying anything just because I didn't want him to be mad at me! I just wish I could change it. But I can't.
Great all the pages are splotched up again, the inks running and I feel even worse than before.
I wish I could go back and change things! I wish all my brothers weren't hurt and that my oldest brother wasn't so stubborn!!
I just wish things were different. But they aren't! And no matter how much I wish they were I can't change them. I guess all I can do is wait till morning and then tell dad what Leo's been doing.
More than likely he'll be mad at me. But if it stops him from doing stuff like this again then I'll bear it! I hate when he's mad at me, but right now I hate myself even more.
I feel like my brothers hurt even worse than before and it's all my fault!
That's it I'm done writing! This thing is supposed to make me feel better but right now all I feel like doing is crying myself to sleep. But then that will wake everyone up and get them worried about me when Leo is the one who needs the help! I just don't know.
I wish we were back home.
Mikey
To be continued…
A/N: Figured he wouldn't sign off the same way cause of the situation. Please let me know what you thought.
Be blessed
your friend
innocent-rebel
